THE VOICE OF FIRE: June 2014

THE VOICE OF FIRE

'O desirable Nuit', illustration by B Van-Asten

Volume 1, Number 5. Summer Solstice An CIX ☉ in 0° Cancer, ☽ in 21° Aries.

Saturday 21st June 2014 e.v.

'Draw into naught

All life, death, hatred, love:

All self concentred in the sole desire -

Hear thou the Voice of Fire!'

Tannhauser. Aleister Crowley.

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.

Love is the law, love under will.

Volume 1, Number 5 of the Voice of Fire is dedicated to Frederick Charles 'Raoul' Loveday [1900-1923]

CONTENTS

Editorial

Raoul Loveday 1900-1923

                                                      My Artemis
                                                      Liber B vel Magi
                                                      Some Observations into the Thelemic Gematria
                                                      Of Liber Al vel Legis. Part 3.
                                                      Frater Aud
                                                      Magical Events: Thoughts for Daily Adorations
                                                      Hymn to Pan
                                                      Sudanenka
                                                      At Wasdale
                                                      The Kiss
                                                      The Wand of Silence
                                                      The Magic Book Worm
                                                      Pegamina part five

EDITORIAL

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.

As we celebrate the summer solstice and delight in the long, lazy days ahead, it is altogether quite easy to become distracted from one’s spiritual aspirations. Finding the correct balance between the ‘material’ and the ‘spiritual’ is something we all must do but we should not forget that the Aeon of Horus worships both the material and the spirit equally. It takes a lot of self-discipline to study and practice magick, but it is not necessary to live one’s life as a monk in perpetual devotion, each individual must find the time suitable to their own life and work hard and stride forwards with honour and with integrity.

‘Beauty and strength, leaping laughter and delicious languor, force and fire, are of us.’ [AL. II.20]

The ultimate aim of the magician, whether he or she is using one system or another, is no different from other religions or spiritual philosophies – Union with the Divine! [it is a matter of personal belief whether one considers Thelema to be a Religion or a Philosophy] For whatever reason one comes to magick and to Thelema one must inevitably realise that the true adept has set themselves upon the path to God-hood; towards the Divine Light in order to reflect that Light within them.

‘Success is your proof.’ [AL.III.42]

In a psychological sense, the Great Work or the ‘spiritual journey’ is an inner exploration of one’s nature, with no stone unturned and every weakness and strength examined and accounted for. In facing those fears and accepting the passage of Life as just another brief moment of collected experiences and spiritual progression; as the finite inner Light sheds its earth-bound body once more, we continue to grow and develop upon our journey!

In accepting the Law of Thelema as one’s ‘philosophy’ one must consider the true nature of the Law in relation to one’s own life and how one’s thoughts, beliefs and actions correspond within one’s ‘Universe’: what direct effects do they have upon you and to those around you?

‘Do what thou wilt does not mean “Do what you like.” It is the apotheosis of Freedom; but it is also the strictest possible bond.’ [Liber II]

It is natural for moments of darkness and doubt to occur, even Greatly Honoured Frater Perdurabo, who worked tirelessly upon the spiritual quest and unto whom the Law of Thelema was revealed, was initially sceptical as to the authenticity of Liber AL. He struggled for many years and fought against it, distracting himself with remarkable adventures and the further away from the Law he threw himself, closer did those Secret Chiefs bring him back, by subtle means towards the Law of Light and Love. It was not until the year 1909 e.v. following his own initiation of 5°=6^□ did he finally accept the heavy burden and understand the important message for mankind that he was responsible for bringing about. And by actions both gentle and grand was he drawn into the attic space of his Magical House, Boleskine, searching for the ‘Enochian Tablets’ and his spare skies for his friend, Kenneth Ward (1887-1927) and once again did the hands of the Prophet of the Lovely Star behold the manuscript of Liber AL vel Legis which he thought had been lost. On that fateful day, Monday 28th June 1909 e.v., a day in which Crowley was ‘exhausted’ from ‘playing fives, billiards, etc. till nearly six this morning.’ A day, perhaps, for it was a short time following the summer solstice, in which the sun was shining and the world seemed full of long, lazy days ahead!

Love is the law, love under will.

The Voice of Fire welcomes submissions (poetry, short stories, articles and reviews etc). Please send all submissions to the editor at barryvanasten418@hotmail.com

RAOUL LOVEDAY
1900-1923

'Tis magick, magick, that has ravished me.*

‘Loveday, when he was a scholar of St John’s College, Oxford, was a stocky, untidy, carelessly dressed young man. Beneath his short hair, which was cut en brosse, he had a merry rather than a good-looking face, with bright blue eyes of incredible innocence.

He was a good soccer player and a spectacular climber. After the college gates were closed at midnight, he regularly climbed in and out. His feat of climbing the Martyrs’ Memorial and cementing an enamel chamber-pot to the top won him a romantic fame throughout the university.’

[The Magic of my Youth. The Adonis of Cefalu. Arthur Calder-Marshall. 1950. p. 110.]

Frederick Charles Loveday was born in Rangoon on 3rd July 1900 and he was christened sixteen days later. He was one of three children [Frederick had two sisters named Nellie and May] to George Loveday (born 1859) a Royal Navy Petty Officer and Amelia Ann Lewendon (born 21st January 1859) in Newington, Surrey. George and Ann were married on 1st October 1882 at St Saviour’s Church, Denmark Park, Middlesex.

As a child in Rangoon, young ‘Raoul’ caught malaria and when the family moved to England; they lived at 112 Barry Road, East Dulwich, South London.

On 2nd August 1918 eighteen year old ‘Raoul’ enlisted in the Officers Training Corps at London’s Inns of Court, a volunteer battalion and part of London’s Territorial Force in Berkhamsted, Berkshire, from September 1914-June 1919.

Following this he became an undergraduate of St John’s College, Oxford where he studied History and enjoyed writing poetry and playing football. It was here that his interest in the occult began. He was also a member of the Hypocrites Club, a philosophical discussion group at Oxford University and Raoul became the club’s secretary. On one occasion while Raoul was out of college after hours he tried to climb back in but slipped and impaled his thigh on an iron gate railing. He left Oxford in 1922, graduating with a 1st Class Degree in History.

In Oxford Raoul was living at 2 London Place, St Clemente and in 1922 he married Betty May; they had met at Soho's 'Harlequin Club' some weeks previous to their marriage.

Betty May

Betty May was born Bessie Golding in 1894 in London’s Limehouse and she was the daughter of George Golding. Betty became an artist’s model and she had been living in Paris and was frequently using drugs, mostly cocaine. Her first husband, Miles L Atkinson (they married at St Marylebone, London in the summer of 1914) was a drug addict and after he died Betty married George D K Waldron at St Martin’s in London during the autumn of 1916. George divorced Betty because of her drug use.

Betty and Raoul were married at the Registry Office in Oxford in September 1922 and a photo of the couple was taken in St John’s College gardens. In October 1922 the young couple were living in Fitzroy Street.

At Oxford, Raoul had been studying The Equinox from 1920 until he graduated in 1922, the same year that Raoul met Betty Bickers, the wife of Sheridan Bickers who contributed to The Equinox. It was through Bickers that Roaul met Aleister Crowley as he was staying with Bickers at her home 31 Wellington Square, London. Raoul called on Crowley alone and did not return home to Beak Street, Soho and to his wife Betty, in fact he spent three days with Crowley, taking ether. Betty had already met Crowley in 1914 at the Cafe Royal and was decidedly unimpressed with the magician. It wasn’t long after the great meeting of Raoul and Crowley that the younger man lost all ambition in having an academic career and his mind became obsessed with Crowley and the study of magick. Seeing the huge potential Raoul had for magick, Crowley invited him (and Betty) to the Abbey of Thelema in Cefalu.
A magician named Robinson Smith, a retired concert agent whom Crowley met at Austin Harrison's house at Seaford, paid the Loveday's fare to Cefalu. After Raoul and Betty visited Nina Hamnett (1890-1956) in Paris, they travelled to the Abbey, arriving on Sunday 26th November 1922.
The next day, Monday 27th November, Crowley assisted Raoul and Betty as they climbed the Great Rock of Cefalu.
For the next few weeks Raoul studied his magical work performing the Lesser Banishing Ritual daily and some visionary work which he showed great progress in. At the Abbey, Raoul acted as the High Priest during ritual work.
Raoul became a Probationer of Crowley’s Magical Order the A∴A∴ and he took the magical name Frater Aud (Magic Light) at the winter Solstice [Friday 22nd December]. Betty didn’t enjoy life at the Abbey, finding it dirty and she could not get on with Crowley or Ninette Shumway.

One day, Betty and Raoul went for a long walk to visit a nearby monastery and after Crowley told them not to drink the water but Raoul with great thirst drank from a spring.
During the beginning of February, Raoul was struck by malaria and was very weak.
'On Saturday morning, 10th February, the Virgin Guardian of the Sangraal [the Scarlet Woman, Leah Hirsig] returned from shopping in the town and found Crowley, Betty, Ninette, Jane, and Raoul assembled in the courtyard. A violent quarrel between Betty and Ninette was in progress. Crowley took Betty's side. Jane listened in silence. Raoul was too ill to say anything. Finally, the row, which had risen out of Betty's calling Ninette a slut, simmered down, and everyone fell in with the Beast's call for greater discipline in the Abbey.' [The Great Beast. John Symonds]
The next day, the evening of Sunday 11th February, Betty left the Abbey and asked Raoul to send her passport the following day. Raoul wrote a letter to Betty to persuade her to return:

'My most dear Betty,

Let us try to get all this silly business finished. We managed to get on well enough till a few days ago. If you will come back to the Abbey and get yourself under control, and do as I tell you, you will find that things will be all right. Certainly no one wants you to stay away. I won't go to the hospital because the nuns there are mere ornaments and in any case I am not in a fit state to be moved. Moreover, I don't want to go - and I won't. Write me a note saying if you will come back. If you won't you had better send for your bag. There is no one here to take it. But be a good girl and come.

Always yours,
Raoul.'

[The Great Beast. John Symonds]

Jane [Wolfe] called on Betty at the Hotel in Cefalu the next day, Monday 12th February, and a little later Leah Hirsig turned up with Raoul's letter and so Betty returned to the Abbey that day to be with her husband, Raoul.
On Tuesday 13th February Crowley recorded in his diary that he felt 'a current of Magical Force - heavy, black and silent - threatening the Abbey.' [The Great Beast. John Symonds] But the next day [Wednesday] Raoul became much worse and Dr Maggio was called for and he diagnosed acute enteritis. Crowley sent a telegram to Raoul's parents explaining his condition.
Raoul Loveday, ‘Frater Aud’ died of enteritis on Friday 16th February 1923 at 4 p.m. at the Abbey of Thelema. He was swiftly placed into a coffin, about an hour after his death and that night the coffin was placed in an outhouse while Crowley kept vigil over it all night, uttering prayers for the young Thelemite. He was buried the next day [Saturday 17th February] outside the Catholic cemetery in non consecrated ground. Crowley led the proceedings for Raoul’s ‘Greater Feast’ with Betty, Jane [Wolfe], Ninette [Shumway], Leah and Leah's son Howard in attendance. Raoul was and the first Thelemite to die in the Aeon of Horus. His parents later had his body exhumed and brought back to England for re-burial.
On Sunday 22nd April 1923 following the arrival of Norman Mudd that day came two Oxford undergraduates named John Pinney, of Christ Church and Claud Bosanquet of New College. They came to investigate the Abbey following the death of their friend and fellow student Raoul Loveday, whom they believed may have died under suspicious circumstances. They stayed for three nights and had a delightful time climbing with Crowley and found no truth in the claims of wickedness at the Abbey.
On Wednesday 25th February 1925 the front page of the Sunday Express had the headline: 'New Sinister Revelations of Aleister Crowley' and Betty May was laying the blame for Raoul's death at Crowley's door!

In 1929 Betty May published her autobiography ‘Tiger-Woman: My Story’. Sometime in the nineteen-thirties Betty married again and was Betty May Sedgwick living in Hampstead and in the nineteen-fifties there was a fifth and final marriage to a gentleman named Bailey.

In the 1911 census the Loveday family are living in Camberwell, East Dulwich. The head of the household is George Loveday, aged 50, born 1859 in Lambeth, London, a ‘Naval Pensioner’. His wife, Amelia Loveday nee Lewendon, is also 50 years old, born 1859 in Newington, London (although she is entered as ‘Southwark’ on the census). Daughters Nellie, aged 15, born 1895 in ‘Portsmouth’, ‘an apprentice’, and May, aged 14, born 1896 in ‘Portsmouth’ and is a ‘pupil attending school’. Then we find young Frederick Charles Loveday, aged 10, born in Rangoon, Burma, also a ‘pupil attending school’. The Lovedays have two boarders staying with them: Alice Hardy aged 40, a widow born in Mogi Japan listed as a ‘visitor’, and Cecil H Hardy aged 17, born in Ivybridge, Devonshire, who is a ‘boy clerk’.

The Loveday Family

We can assume that the Lovedays were not in England for the 1901 census and so we turn to the Lewendon family:

In the 1861 census we find the family living at Forty Acres, Kingston, Surrey. Charles Lewendon, the head of the household is 33 years old, born 1828 at Whitechurch, Oxfordshire and he is a bricklayer by profession. His wife Sarah is 30 years old, born in 1831 in Kingston, Surrey. They have three daughters: Elizabeth aged 9, born in 1852 in Kingston, Surrey and she is a ‘scholar’; Emma aged 7 born in 1854 in ‘London’ and Amelia aged 4, born in 1857 in ‘London’.

In the 1871 census they are still living in Kingston, Surrey, Charles is 37, still a bricklayer and he is born in ‘Hill Bolton, Oxfordshire’ – the census is not reliable for accuracy of birth details! His wife Sarah is 37, Amelia Ann is a scholar born 1859, and there is also Rose Lewendon, 10 years old, Alice aged 6, Charles aged 3 and Alfred aged 1, all born in Kingston, Surrey.

Ten years later in the 1881 census the family have moved to Ulverscroft Road in Camberwell, London. Charles, the head of the family is 46 and a bricklayer, his wife Sarah is also 46 and a laundress; the children all born in Kingston, Surrey, are: Elizabeth aged 26 born in 1855 is a ‘Cook (domestic)’, Amelia is 21and a ‘Barmaid (Inn Servant)’, Alice is 16 and a ‘Nursemaid (domestic)’, Charles is 13, Alfred is 11, George is 8 and Clara is 4. Also living at the address is Charles Lewendon’s father (Amelia’s Grandfather and Raoul’s Great Grandfather) George Lewendon, a widower aged 60, born in 1821 in Oxford and a bricklayer by profession.

THE MARRIAGE OF RAOUL AND BETTY

The signatures of Raoul and Betty

on their marriage certificate

Raoul and Betty were married at the Oxford Registry Office on Sunday 3^rd September 1922. Raoul, or Frederick Charles to give his birth name, is 22 years old and he gives his profession as ‘author’; he is living at 50 Walton Crescent, Oxford and his father, George Loveday is described as a ‘civil servant’. Betty May Golding is 25 years old and living at the Golden Cross Hotel, Cornmarket Street, Oxford; her father George Golding (deceased) is stated as an ‘artist’ under father’s profession.

Raoul requested special leave from Oxford University for the weekend which was granted and Betty May says of the momentous day in her autobiography ‘Tiger Woman’ published in 1929:

‘We were married, in Oxford, shortly before the end of the summer term. Once again I stood in front of the registrar (1) – this time, however, in my own shoes. Raoul, less experienced than I, was extremely nervous, and at the crisis of the ceremony dropped the ring, which rolled into a corner of the room. One of the witnesses crawled after it and stood dusting his trousers for the rest of the time. (2) Raoul’s hand trembled as he slipped the ring onto my finger at the second attempt. I left the office feeling slightly uneasy. Had the dropping of the ring anything to do with the Princess Amen Ra? (3) I knew it was an evil omen. Was my marriage again going to be a failure?

On the day of our marriage [Sunday 3^rd September 1922] a thing happened which although even at the time it filled me with a certain foreboding, I never imagined would return to me in such circumstances of horror. We were walking through the gardens of St. John’s and someone suggested taking a photograph of us both. We stood beneath one of the trees there and he took a snap. When this photograph was printed there was the ghostly form of a slim young man lying just over my husband’s head. It was as though the form was asleep or dead, and the arms were raised slightly behind the head, while the head drooped gently to one side. At the time I remember we were amused by this “spook” photograph, but I felt an indescribable feeling of anxiety, even though I laughed at it. Later on in my story you will learn how my fears were justified and how amazing a warning this was of what was to come.

That evening a party of us went to one of the dance halls forbidden to undergraduates. It was rather a sordid place, with a bad floor and a worse band, whose chief allurement must have been the fact that it was forbidden. Rather drunken undergraduates were dancing with cheap-scented girls of the town. Some of them greeted Raoul noisily. However, he was not in the slightest degree embarrassed, and treated them with his usual easy insolence of manner.

We stayed there a bit. It was not very amusing, but there did not seem to be anything else to do in Oxford at this time of night. I was dancing with Raoul, I remember, when at about eleven o’clock the alarm went round that the proctors were coming. There was a rush for the door, and I was left alone. Two undergraduates only had not fled, and they were hiding under a seat in the ladies’ cloak-room, protected by the skirts of their partners. The proctors, well up to the trick, and untroubled by modesty, searched that apartment as a matter of course. It was an exciting moment. They were just going when one of the idiotic girls laughed, and the proctors returned and dragged the fugitives ignominiously by the ankles from their concealment.

At last the proctors went away and some of our party returned, but Raoul was not among them.

I was very sick with myself for having suggested coming to the dance. Raoul, with whom I was quite unjustly angry for leaving me, had been against it, because, having got leave to go away for the week-end so as to be able to stay with me on our wedding night, it would have been fatal for him to be discovered in Oxford.

By now the place was closing down. What was I to do? Would Raoul come back for me, or would he expect me to follow him? I was undecided until my hesitation was overcome for me by a certain famous boxer, who had been with us, and now offered to take me back to the hotel where Raoul and I were staying.’

Betty goes on to say that she was about to ring the night bell at the hotel but she decided to go for a walk to the Trout Inn to look at the water meadows and the Thames by moonlight, (4) and also to punish Raoul for abandoning her at the dance hall. She stood leaning over the bridge by the Trout Inn; (5) after a while she crosses the bridge and walked along the river, singing songs in her head. The river bank was sloping and slippery and she fell head-first into the river. Luckily it was quite shallow. Betty returned to the hotel covered in mud: ‘For a moment Raoul could not recognise the miry apparition that met his eyes. Water dripped from me as I stood there. He asked me what on earth had happened and how I had managed to get like this. Had someone thrown me into the river?

“I thought I’d go for a walk,” I explained, “and I fell into the river.”

“Good God,” he asked, “is this what I’ve got to get used to?”

I was not going to be reprimanded at this early stage of our relationship, so I said, “And why did you leave me at the dance hall to find my way home alone?”

“The proctors – “

“I suppose you care more about the proctors than about me.”

But it was not really a very serious sort of quarrel!’

The next day, Monday 4^th September, Raoul had invited a friend of his to dinner and to meet his new wife, Betty; the un-named friend, (6) a well-known psychic and clairvoyant, in Betty’s autobiography was tall and gaunt and she took an instant dislike to him although he was an entertaining speaker and he and Raoul talked about poetry; Raoul was making a stand for the poets Ernest Dowson (1867-1900) and Lionel Johnson (1867-1902) whom his friend said were ‘sentimental and decadent’. Raoul defensively said that he hated the Georgian poets and declared himself a romantic and when asked which living poets he admires, mentioned the name of some professor and a poet of the occult whom Betty had met in 1914 at the Café Royal – Aleister Crowley.

“What’s he doing now?” the other asked.

“Haven’t you heard?”

“No.”

“He’s started an Abbey in Sicily.”

Then the curious young fellow suggested he knew what Betty was in a previous incarnation. In comparing their notes on the subject Raoul and his friend had reached the same conclusion, that she was a witch-doctor and Raoul was the chieftain of the village who loved her but she refused to yield her love to him; the chieftain, deciding to kill the witch-doctor set her adrift in a boat which capsized in a storm and she drowned.

Betty and Raoul stayed in Oxford for a few days after the Oxford University Commemoration Ball and then went to London, taking a room at the Harlequin Club at 55 Beak Street, off Regent Street, where she had first met Raoul. They were poor and Raoul had accumulated large debts with tailors and booksellers in Oxford. Betty took to being an artist’s model again; earning a pound a day to keep them both while Raoul studied Egyptology at the British Museum or at various libraries.

While dining at the Harlequin, Betty’s friend Betty Bickers came over, Bickers was interested in the occult and when Crowley came up in conversation Raoul said he would like to meet him and Bickers informed him that Crowley was staying at her house. (7) Raoul became infatuated with magick and Crowley and did not return home for two days and nights. ‘On the night of the third day I was awakened by the sound of someone trying to open my bedroom window. It was Raoul. We were on the third floor in one of those tall houses in Beak Street, just off Regent Street, and he had climbed from the street. He was covered with dust and soot, and his breath reeked of ether. I put him to bed, where he lay in a doped sleep until the middle of the following day.’

After the same thing happened again and Raoul was away for three days, Betty attempted to foil Crowley and they left the room in Beak Street and took another, (8) but after a while Crowley turned up at the door wearing his Highland kilt and holding a magical wand.

Notes:

The name of Registrar was J. H. B.Wright.

The two witnesses on the marriage certificate are almost undecipherable but diligent examination seems to yield two names: Jean Pierre Dubont and Susan Billingham, so it would appear that Jean Pierre is the witness who crawls after the ring.

Betty had mocked the mummified Princess by sticking her tongue out at her when Raoul took her to the British Museum. Raoul was shocked. ‘Without a word he rushed me out of the Museum, took me straight back to where I was staying and told me to wait for him there. “But where are you going?” I asked.“Back to the Museum,” he answered, still pale, “to pray that she may take her evil spell from you and place it on me.” [‘Tiger Woman’. The Mystic.]
The moon was three days from full which occurred on Wednesday 6^th September 1922.
The Trout is a 17^th Century Inn by the River Thames at Lower Wolvercote, North Oxfordshire, near Godstow Bridge.
Raoul had several friends from oxford such as Allan Porter, Arthur Read, and Bertram Higgins (1901-1974) born in Melbourne who read languages at Oxford; Betty’s friend ‘Dolores’ [Norine Fournier Lattimore (1894-1934)] was an artist’s model at the Harlequin Club and often joined them at social gatherings.
This was at 31 Wellington Square, London, where Crowley was staying with Betty Sheridan-Bickers and teaching her magick and giving lectures on Thelema.
This would have been in October 1922 and it was probably a furnished room in Fitzroy Street. Crowley says in his ‘Confessions’: ‘He and Betty lived in one filthy room in Fitzroy Street, a foul, frowsty, verminous den, stinking of the miasma of that great class who scrape through the years by dint of furtive cunning in dubious avocations. They were living from hand to mouth, with disaster eternally looming ahead, and the whisper of hope more faint and feeble as each effort ended in failure.’ [The Confessions of Aleister Crowley. Chapter 94.]

*from an essay by Raoul Loveday entitled 'Ravishment' quoting Doctor Faustus by Christopher Marlowe.

MY ARTEMIS

I was sheep in your fold
Of emerald and gold,
Cradled gently at your thighs,
Where thy milky limbs begin –
Your young face flushed with sin
And summer’s sweet surprise!

Two minds, two souls, collide;
Two hearts as one inside
And at the scent of death our lips were pressed.
The air was thick with madness
And your subtle sighing sadness
Beneath the midnight moon as we caressed!

By soft seduction, I could tell
That our hearts were damned to hell
When your body, ‘neath cold stone, graceful lies!
Love’s murderous midnight rapture –
Something strange in your super-nature
Evokes a world of love that too soon dies!

Barry Van-Asten.

LIBER B VEL MAGI
SUB FIGURA
I

00. One is the Magus: twain His forces: four His weapons. These are the Seven Spirits of Unrighteousness; seven vultures of evil. Thus is the art and craft of the Magus but glamour. How shall He destroy Himself?

0. Yet the Magus hath power upon the Mother both directly and through Love. And the Magus is Love, and bindeth together That and This in His Conjuration.

1. In the beginning doth the Magus speak Truth, and send forth Illusion and Falsehood to enslave the soul. Yet therein is the Mystery of Redemption.

2. By his Wisdom made He the Worlds; the Word that is God is none other than He.

3. How then shall He end His speech with Silence? For He is Speech.

4. He is the First and the Last. How shall He cease to number Himself?

5. By a Magus is this writing made known through the mind of a Magister. The one uttereth clearly, and the other understandeth; yet the Word is falsehood, and the Understanding darkness. And this saying is Of All Truth.

6. Nevertheless it is written; for there be times of darkness, and this as a lamp therein.

7. With the Wand createth He.

8. With the Cup preserveth He.

9. With the Dagger destroyeth He.

10. With the Coin redeemeth He.

11. His weapons fulfil the wheel; and on What Axle that turneth is not known unto Him.

12. From all these actions must He cease before the curse of His Grade is uplifted from Him. Before He attain to That which existeth without Form.

13. And if at this time He be manifested upon earth as a Man, and therefore is this present writing, let this be His method, that the curse of His grade, and the burden of His attainment, be uplifted from Him.

14. Let Him beware of abstinence from action. For the curse of His grade is that He must speak Truth, that the Falsehood thereof may enslave the souls of men. Let Him then utter that without Fear, that the Law may be fulfilled. And according to His Original Nature will that law be shapen, so that one may declare gentleness and quietness, being an Hindu; and another fierceness and servility, being a Jew; and yet another ardour and manliness, being an Arab. Yet this matter toucheth the mystery of Incarnation, and is not here to be declared.

15. Now the grade of a Magister teacheth the Mystery of Sorrow, and the grade of a Magus the Mystery of Change, and the grade of Ipsissimus the Mystery of Selflessness, which is called also the Mystery of Pan.

16. Let the Magus then contemplate each in turn, raising it to the ultimate power of Infinity. Wherein Sorrow is Joy, and Change is Stability, and Selflessness is Self. For the interplay of the parts hath no action upon the whole. And this contemplation shall be performed not by simple meditation—how much less then by reason? but by the method which shall have been given unto Him in His initiation to the Grade.

17. Following which method, it shall be easy for Him to combine that trinity from its elements, and further to combine Sat-Chit-Ananda, and Light, Love, Life, three by three into nine that are one, in which meditation success shall be That which was first adumbrated to Him in the grade of Practicus (which reflecteth Mercury into the lowest world) in Liber XXVII, «Here is Nothing under its three Forms.»

18. And this is the Opening of the Grade of Ipsissimus, and by the Buddhists it is called the trance Nerodha-Samapatti.

19. And woe, woe, woe, yea woe, and again woe, woe, woe, unto seven times be His that preacheth not His law to men!

20. And woe also be unto Him that refuseth the curse of the grade of a Magus, and the burden of the Attainment thereof.

21. And in the word CHAOS let the Book be sealed; yea, let the Book be sealed.

SOME OBSERVATIONS INTO THE THELEMIC

GEMATRIA OF LIBER AL vel LEGIS

sub figura CCXX

as delivered by XCIII = to DCLXVI

PART THREE

BY AUDRAREP

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.

Love is the law, love under will.

Chapter III

1. Abrahadabra; the reward of Ra Hoor Khut.

Abrahadabra – the word contains five letters ‘a’, (Hebrew letter Aleph) symbolic of the pentagram (or the’ pentalpha’). Aleph in full=111 (111x5=555). 555=HAD in full. Abrahadabra= 11 letters (5 the pentagram + 6 the hexagram, the union of the microcosm with the macrocosm and it therefore represents the completion of the Great Work). Notice also that the first verse contains five words, five being the ‘elements’ and the pentagram, the symbol of Hadit. In chapter I was the ‘manifestation’, in chapter II the ‘hiding’ and here in chapter III is the ‘reward’. Also ‘Ra Hoor Khut’ is spelt without ‘yod’ [Khuit] which may have some significance as to a formula or gematria.

2. There is division hither homeward; there is a word not known. Spelling is defunct; all is not aught. Beware! Hold! Raise the spell of Ra-Hoor-Khuit!

‘word not known. Spelling is defunct;’ – ‘Ra-Hoor-Khuit’ now contains the ‘yod’ and is spelt in the familiar way.

ALL=1+30+30=61.
AUGHT=1+6+3+5+9=24.

3. Now let it be first understood that I am a god of War and of Vengeance. I shall deal hardly with them.

4. Choose ye an island!

Island=Chokhma on the tree of life. Ye= Yod/He=10+5=15, the mystic number of Geburah. Island could also mean a part of the psych that is weak and needs to be ‘healed’ or strengthened to attain perfect equilibrium in order to perform the Great Work.

5. Fortify it!

Make it strong!

6. Dung it about with enginery of war!

7. I will give you a war-engine.

8. With it ye shall smite the peoples; and none shall stand before you.

9. Lurk! Withdraw! Upon them! this is the Law of the Battle of Conquest: thus shall my worship be about my secret house.

The beginning of the verse implies a magickal formula known to initiates.

10. Get the stele of revealing itself; set it in thy secret temple -- and that temple is already aright disposed -- & it shall be your Kiblah for ever. It shall not fade, but miraculous colour shall come back to it day after day. Close it in locked glass for a proof to the world.

The Stele of Revealing which was numbered 666 in the Boulak Museum, Cairo. The Stele (which is the stele of the Priest Ankh-f-n-khonsu) shows the image of Horus in his form as Ra-Hoor-Khuit. Above him is the Winged Globe and above that the bent figure of the Goddess Nuit, her feet and hands touching the earth.

11. This shall be your only proof. I forbid argument. Conquer! That is enough. I will make easy to you the abstruction from the ill-ordered house in the Victorious City. Thou shalt thyself convey it with worship, o prophet, though thou likest it not. Thou shalt have danger & trouble. Ra-Hoor-Khu is with thee. Worship me with fire & blood; worship me with swords & with spears. Let the woman be girt with a sword before me: let blood flow to my name. Trample down the Heathen; be upon them, o warrior, I will give you of their flesh to eat!

The Victorious City is Cairo and the ill-ordered house is the Boulak Museum.

HEATHEN=5+5+1+9+5+5+50=80.
EAT=5+1+9=15.

Ra-Hoor-Khu by its nature seems to suggest that it manifests in the soul or ‘khu’ of the adept. By this thinking, Ra-Hoor-Khuit may be an element which manifests as ‘the Lord of the aeon of Horus’ and Ra-Hoor-Khut as an element of the manifestation which appears as the initiator of the magickal current from the Kiblah, or Boleskine.

‘let blood flow to my name’ in its secret sense suggests semen.

12. Sacrifice cattle, little and big: after a child.

LITTLE=30+10+9+9+30+5=93 (3x31, La ShT Al, Thelema).
BIG=2+10+3=15.
CHILD= By the Tarot VII+XVII+IX+VIII+III=44 (DM blood).

This is not a licence to perform a sacrifice; child in this sense is the unborn child of the adept, in other words, semen.

13. But not now.

14. Ye shall see that hour, o blessed Beast, and thou the Scarlet Concubine of his desire!

15. Ye shall be sad thereof.

16. Deem not too eagerly to catch the promises; fear not to undergo the curses. Ye, even ye, know not this meaning all.

‘Know not’ – ALL (1+30+30=61) AL+LA.
Ye= Yod, He, the Beast and the Scarlet Woman.

17. Fear not at all; fear neither men nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything. Money fear not, nor laughter of the folk folly, nor any other power in heaven or upon the earth or under the earth. Nu is your refuge as Hadit your light; and I am the strength, force, vigour, of your arms.

18. Mercy let be off; damn them who pity! Kill and torture; spare not; be upon them!

OFF=6+6+6=18.
Mercy= Chesed.

19. That stele they shall call the Abomination of Desolation; count well its name, & it shall be to you as 718.

718= Upsilon – pi – omicron – mu – omicron – nu – eta = persistence, a Greek noun corresponding to ‘perdurabo’.

Steel 666= CTHAH=546 (CT counts as 500 or 52 when CT is 6).
CTAYPOS=777. CTHAH=52.
178-52+666, CYHAH=666.

20. Why? Because of the fall of Because, that he is not there again.

WHY (taking Tzaddi as the Emperor in the Tarot) = V+XVII+IX=XXXI (31).

21. Set up my image in the East: thou shalt buy thee an image which I will show thee, especial, not unlike the one thou knowest. And it shall be suddenly easy for thee to do this.

22. The other images group around me to support me: let all be worshipped, for they shall cluster to exalt me. I am the visible object of worship; the others are secret; for the Beast & his Bride are they: and for the winners of the Ordeal x. What is this? Thou shalt know.

The ordeal X is perhaps an allusion to the crossing of the Abyss.

23. For perfume mix meal & honey & thick leavings of red wine: then oil of Abramelin and olive oil, and afterward soften & smooth down with rich fresh blood.

Oil of Abramelin: 8 parts Cinnamon oil, 4 parts Myrrh oil, 2 parts Galangal oil, and 7 parts olive oil. (Essential oils are usually used for this).

24. The best blood is of the moon, monthly: then the fresh blood of a child, or dropping from the host of heaven: then of enemies; then of the priest or of the worshippers: last of some beast, no matter what.

Blood of the moon= menstrual blood. In the aeon of Horus sexual energies are utilized and where it is written blood it usually means semen or the conjoined elements found after sexual intercourse.

25. This burn: of this make cakes & eat unto me. This hath also another use; let it be laid before me, and kept thick with perfumes of your orison: it shall become full of beetles as it were and creeping things sacred unto me.

Cakes of Light (see verse 23 above):

A simple recipe is 1.5 cups of flour, 6 table spoons of extra virgin olive oil, 7 table spoons of honey, 1 table spoon of wine leavings and 7 drops of Abramelin oil. The ‘rich fresh blood’ I would suggest is an optional ingredient but I would say that 1 drop or a certain number peculiar to a particular operation would suffice. These ‘cakes’ are generally used in the Gnostic Mass and the Mass of the Phoenix, but they can be used in other rites as the adept desires.

26. These slay, naming your enemies; & they shall fall before you.

27. Also these shall breed lust & power of lust in you at the eating thereof.

28. Also ye shall be strong in war.

29. Moreover, be they long kept, it is better; for they swell with my force. All before me.

30. My altar is of open brass work: burn thereon in silver or gold!

31. There cometh a rich man from the West who shall pour his gold upon thee.

32. From gold forge steel!

Gold represents Tiphereth and ‘forge steel’ suggests Geburah.

33. Be ready to fly or to smite!

34. But your holy place shall be untouched throughout the centuries: though with fire and sword it be burnt down & shattered, yet an invisible house there standeth, and shall stand until the fall of the Great Equinox; when Hrumachis shall arise and the double-wanded one assume my throne and place. Another prophet shall arise, and bring fresh fever from the skies; another woman shall awake the lust & worship of the Snake; another soul of God and beast shall mingle in the globed priest; another sacrifice shall stain the tomb; another king shall reign; and blessing no longer be poured To the Hawk-headed mystical Lord!

Snake – the serpent-god= Hadit. [Apep – APP=1+80+80=161].

‘double-wanded one’ is Thmaist (the dual form of Thmaist is Thmais and Thmait and in Greek it is Themis). ‘Blessing’ (semen) ‘poured To the Hawk-headed mystical Lord!’ who is Horus.

35. The half of the word of Heru-ra-ha, called Hoor-pa-kraat and Ra-Hoor-Khut.

Heru-ra-ha=HRU-RA-HA (5+200+6+200+1+5+1=418.

Horus and Ra and Spirit. Ha=5+1=6=the sun (and the Hexagram).

36. Then said the prophet unto the God:

37. I adore thee in the song --

I am the Lord of Thebes, and I
The inspired forth-speaker of Mentu;
For me unveils the veiled sky,
The self-slain Ankh-af-na-khonsu
Whose words are truth. I invoke, I greet
Thy presence, O Ra-Hoor-Khuit!

Unity uttermost showed!
I adore the might of Thy breath,
Supreme and terrible God,
Who makest the gods and death
To tremble before Thee: --
I, I adore thee!

Appear on the throne of Ra!
Open the ways of the Khu!
Lighten the ways of the Ka!
The ways of the Khabs run through
To stir me or still me!
Aum! let it fill me!

Unity=13.
Ankh-af-na-khonsu(t)=666.
RA=201. KHU=31. KA=21.

38. So that thy light is in me; & its red flame is as a sword in my hand to push thy order. There is a secret door that I shall make to establish thy way in all the quarters, (these are the adorations, as thou hast written), as it is said:

The light is mine; its rays consume
Me: I have made a secret door
Into the House of Ra and Tum,
Of Khephra and of Ahathoor.
I am thy Theban, O Mentu,
The prophet Ankh-af-na-khonsu!

By Bes-na-Maut my breast I beat;
By wise Ta-Nech I weave my spell.
Show thy star-splendour, O Nuit!
Bid me within thine House to dwell,
O winged snake of light, Hadit!
Abide with me, Ra-Hoor-Khuit!

Mentu=MVNTV=40+6+50+9+6=111.
Bes-na-Maut= BISh-N-MAVT=2+10+300+50+40+1+6+9=418.
Ra, Tum, Ahathoor and Kephra pertain to the various stations of the sun throughout its course: Dawn (East), Noon (South), Sunset (West), and Midnight (North). See Liber Resh vel Helios.

39. All this and a book to say how thou didst come hither and a reproduction of this ink and paper for ever -- for in it is the word secret & not only in the English -- and thy comment upon this the Book of the Law shall be printed beautifully in red ink and black upon beautiful paper made by hand; and to each man and woman that thou meetest, were it but to dine or to drink at them, it is the Law to give. Then they shall chance to abide in this bliss or no; it is no odds. Do this quickly!

40. But the work of the comment? That is easy; and Hadit burning in thy heart shall make swift and secure thy pen.

The comment is found at the end of the Book:

THE COMMENT.

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

The study of this Book is forbidden. It is wise to destroy this copy after the first reading.

Whosoever disregards this does so at his own risk and peril. These are most dire.

Those who discuss the contents of this Book are to be shunned by all, as centres of pestilence.

All questions of the Law are to be decided only by appeal to my writings, each for himself.

There is no law beyond Do what thou wilt.

Love is the law, love under will.

The priest of the princes,

Ankh-f-n-khonsu

41. Establish at thy Kaaba a clerk-house: all must be done well and with business way.

KAABA=20+1+1+2+1=25 (5x5) the Pentagram in action.

42. The ordeals thou shalt oversee thyself, save only the blind ones. Refuse none, but thou shalt know & destroy the traitors. I am Ra-Hoor-Khuit; and I am powerful to protect my servant. Success is thy proof: argue not; convert not; talk not over much! Them that seek to entrap thee, to overthrow thee, them attack without pity or quarter; & destroy them utterly. Swift as a trodden serpent turn and strike! Be thou yet deadlier than he! Drag down their souls to awful torment: laugh at their fear: spit upon them!

43. Let the Scarlet Woman beware! If pity and compassion and tenderness visit her heart; if she leave my work to toy with old sweetnesses; then shall my vengeance be known. I will slay me her child: I will alienate her heart: I will cast her out from men: as a shrinking and despised harlot shall she crawl through dusk wet streets, and die cold and an-hungered.

Scarlet woman in Greek=667 [eta, – kappa – omicron – kappa – kappa – iota – nu – eta, – gamma – upsilon – nu – eta] and its initial eta, kappa, gamma= 8+20+3=31.

44. But let her raise herself in pride! Let her follow me in my way! Let her work the work of wickedness! Let her kill her heart! Let her be loud and adulterous! Let her be covered with jewels, and rich garments, and let her be shameless before all men!

45. Then will I lift her to pinnacles of power: then will I breed from her a child mightier than all the kings of the earth. I will fill her with joy: with my force shall she see & strike at the worship of Nu: she shall achieve Hadit.

46. I am the warrior Lord of the Forties: the Eighties cower before me, & are abased. I will bring you to victory & joy: I will be at your arms in battle & ye shall delight to slay. Success is your proof; courage is your armour; go on, go on, in my strength; & ye shall turn not back for any!

40=Mem, 80= Pe, Mars etc. ‘Go on’ Go=73, Gimel in full, On=56 or 120. ANY=1+50+10=61.

47. This book shall be translated into all tongues: but always with the original in the writing of the Beast; for in the chance shape of the letters and their position to one another: in these are mysteries that no Beast shall divine. Let him not seek to try: but one cometh after him, whence I say not, who shall discover the Key of it all. Then this line drawn is a key: then this circle squared in its failure is a key also. And Abrahadabra. It shall be his child & that strangely. Let him not seek after this; for thereby alone can he fall from it.

‘circle squared in its failure is a key also’ – ALHIM – The mathematical Pi to four places= 3.1415 (more accurately 3.1416). Notice 31! Placing ShT before it we get Pi correct to six places 3.141593= ShTALHIM =300+9+1+30+5+10+40=395. This is reversed to give 593. ‘In its failure’ – Pi more accurately would be: 3.1415926535…

IT= 10+9=19. It was Charles Stansfield Jones (Frater AChAD who is ‘one’) who discovered the ‘key of it all’ (the number 31) in the year 1918 and he was the ‘child’ prophesised by the Book because Crowley and Soror Hilarion (Jean Robert Foster) performed a magical operation to produce a magical child, thus AChAD was ‘born’, he became a Babe of the Abyss. Crowley’s letter to AChAD of 9th September 1919 reads:

‘Your key opens Palace.CCXX has unfolded like a flower. All solved, even II.76 & III.47…. AL’AIN the Priest…..666’. For more on this see Liber 31.

48. Now this mystery of the letters is done, and I want to go on to the holier place.

49. I am in a secret fourfold word, the blasphemy against all gods of men.

50. Curse them! Curse them! Curse them!

51. With my Hawk's head I peck at the eyes of Jesus as he hangs upon the cross. 5

2. I flap my wings in the face of Mohammed & blind him.

53. With my claws I tear out the flesh of the Indian and the Buddhist, Mongol and Din.

54. Bahlasti! Ompehda! I spit on your crapulous creeds.

The words ‘Bahlasti’ and ‘Ompehda’ have the appearance of Enochian words.

OMPEHDA(H)=70+40+80+5+5+4+1+5=210 ( a reduction from two to nought).

55. Let Mary inviolate be torn upon wheels: for her sake let all chaste women be utterly despised among you!

56. Also for beauty's sake and love's!

Perhaps a reference to Babalon and the Beast.

57. Despise also all cowards; professional soldiers who dare not fight, but play; all fools despise!

58. But the keen and the proud, the royal and the lofty; ye are brothers!

59. As brothers fight ye!

60. There is no law beyond Do what thou wilt.

WILT=6+10+30+9=55.

61. There is an end of the word of the God enthroned in Ra's seat, lightening the girders of the soul.

62. To Me do ye reverence! to me come ye through tribulation of ordeal, which is bliss.

63. The fool readeth this Book of the Law, and its comment; & he understandeth it not.

‘The fool’ (Parzival= Frater O.I.V.V.I.O. who is also AChAD – Charles Stansfield Jones) ‘understandeth it’ (he was a Magister Templi which is the grade attributed to understanding) ‘not’ (meaning to be ‘not’. PARZIVAL=418. Parzival is AChAD which means ‘unity’, and the letter of unity is ‘Aleph’ which is the letter of the ‘fool’ in the Tarot. ‘NOT’ in Hebrew is ‘LA’ which is 31 and ‘AL’ is God, also 31. The third 31 is the double letter ShT (XX + XI in the Tarot). 31+31+31=93.

64. Let him come through the first ordeal, & it will be to him as silver.

65. Through the second, gold.

66. Through the third, stones of precious water.

67. Through the fourth, ultimate sparks of the intimate fire.

68. Yet to all it shall seem beautiful. Its enemies who say not so, are mere liars.

69. There is success.

70. I am the Hawk-Headed Lord of Silence & of Strength; my nemyss shrouds the night-blue sky.

71. Hail! ye twin warriors about the pillars of the world! for your time is nigh at hand.

72. I am the Lord of the Double Wand of Power; the wand of the Force of Coph Nia--but my left hand is empty, for I have crushed an Universe; & nought remains.

‘I am’ in Greek= epsilon – iota – mu – iota =5+10+40+10=65 [6+5=11.
65= Samekh (60) + He (5). In the Tarot Samekh=XIV and He=XVII [XIV+XVII=XXXI (31)].
WAND=6+1+50+4=61.

Coph Nia=100+61=161. Coph in the Tarot= KVPh=31. KVPh NIA in full=434 (4+3+4=11). [KOPh NIA=231 which is the sum of the first 22 numbers
0+1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9+10+11+12+13+14+15+16+17+18+19+20+21=231.

KPh=K the Kteis (the moon) and Ph the Phallus (the sun), their conjunction produces NIA (61) – AIN (the negative) and ANI (the ego).

73. Paste the sheets from right to left and from top to bottom: then behold!

74. There is a splendour in my name hidden and glorious, as the sun of midnight is ever the son.

‘the sun of midnight is ever the son’= the sun of midnight= Kephra, of which it is stated is ‘ever the son’ – Son in the Tarot= XIV+XV+XIII=XXXVIII (38) 3+8=11 and 38x11=418.

Also, SUN=60+6+50=116 and SON=60+6+50=116, and also by the Tarot we can get XIV+V+XIII=XXVIII (28) for both ‘sun’ and ‘son’. 28= KCh=Power and it is the mystic number of Netzach. Also note that by addition sun+son=28+28=56 – NV (Nuit).

75. The ending of the words is the Word Abrahadabra. The Book of the Law is Written and Concealed. Aum. Ha.

Abrahadabra, the word of eleven letters. Hoor-pa-kraat and Ra-Hoor-Khuit also have eleven letters each.

Aum-Ha= Aum=111 and Ha=6. [111x6+666]. Aum (mem final)=671 which is Throa, the Gate of Adonai in full.

75, the final verse= NUIT (50+6+10+9=75).

FRATER AUD

Raoul Loveday

(1900-1923)

Dream-child of the poet, forsaken,

The Gods hath delivered your prayer;

The songs of the Lord sung in darkness

And the eyes of the neophyte, fair.

Pride of the Prophet – since chosen

By a force in the fever of brain;

Yours was the first of the Great Feasts;

The first of the Saints to be slain!

Boy of rare beauty, outstanding;

Brilliant of mind... Youth’s courage

Answered the call of the aeon

And sought the great Light of the Mage!

Illuminated by wisdom and Love,

The shadow in your soul was still –

A sentinel of silence, you stood:

Love is the law, love under will!

Your sacrifice, here we remember;

Your flame in the cavernous Night!

A hundred years hence they shall praise you

Dear brother of the Magical Light!

Barry Van-Asten.

MAGICAL EVENTS:

THOUGHTS FOR DAILY ADORATIONS

By Audrarep

JANUARY

1. The 2nd working in the Paris Working (-2nd Jan) 1914.

2. The 3rd working in the Paris Working (-3rd Jan) 1914. Crowley met Frank Harris 1924.

3. The end of the 3rd working in the Paris Working 1914.

4. Jack Parsons begins his Babalon Working 1946.

5. The 4th working in the Paris Working (-6th Jan) 1914.

6. The 5th working in the Paris Working 1914.

7. Crowley wrote Rosa Mundi 1904. The 6th working in the Paris Working 1914. Crowley passing the bookshop in Praed Street, London where he noticed his book Moonchild and a case for ‘libel’ 1933.

8. The 7th working in the Paris Working (-9th Jan) 1914.

9. Crowley in Paris 1919.

10. The nativity of George Cecil Jones 1873.

11. The 8th working in the Paris Working (-12th Jan) 1914. Leah takes the Oath of the Scarlet Woman 1919.

12. Crowley invoked Aiwaz in an I Ching divination 1920.

13. Chokmah Day 11 ends 1917. Crowley gave his first lecture on Yoga in Paris in 1937.

14. Chokmah Day 6 ends 1916. Chokmah Day 12 begins 1917. Chokmah Day 16 ends 1918. Crowley’s first encounter via the ‘Camel’ of the wizard Amalantrah 1918. Chokmah Day 21 ends1919.

15. Chokmah Day 7 begins 1916. Chokmah Day 18 begins 1918.

16. The nativity of Norman Mudd 1889. Crowley initiated by Mathers as an Adeptus Minor in Paris 1900.

17. Crowley moved into Netherwood, Hastings 1945.

18. Jack Parsons went into the Mojave Desert to perform the Babalon Working 1946.

19. The 9th working in the Paris Working (-20th Jan) 1914.

20. The 10th working in the Paris Working (-21st Jan) 1914. Crowley’s second lecture on Yoga in Paris 1937.

21. The 11th working in the Paris Working (-22nd Jan) 1914.

22. The 12th working in the Paris Working (-23rd Jan) 1914.

23. The Crowley’s reach Yungchang in their walk across China 1906.

24. Crowley and Eckenstein walk to the summit of Cabeza in Mexico 1901.

25. Crowley’s third lecture on Yoga in Paris 1937.

26. The 13th working in the Paris Working (-27th Jan) 1914.

27. The 14th working in the Paris Working (-28th Jan) 1914.

28. The 15th working in the Paris Working (-29th Jan) 1914.

29. The 16th working in the Paris Working (-30th Jan) 1914.

30. Crowley called on his old mistress Jane Cheron in Paris and was given a reproduction of the Stele of Revealing 1920.

31. Crowley performs a magical operation to dedicate himself to be the High Priest of the Most Holy Phallus 1917.

FEBRUARY

1. Crowley writes to P R Stephenson of Mandrake Press to issue The Banned Lecture 1930.

2. The 17th working in the Paris Working (-3rd Feb) 1914.

3. The 18th working in the Paris Working (-4th Feb) 1914. The day the Banned Lecture would have taken place in Oxford 1930. Crowley’s fourth lecture on Yoga in Paris 1937.

4. The 19th working in the Paris Working (-5th Feb) 1914.

5. The 20th working in the Paris Working 1914.

6. Crowley burnt his talisman dedicated to Jupiter and consecrated to K Margaret Binetti 1927.

7. Crowley is at Boleskine preparing for the Sacred Magic of Abramelin 1900.

8. Crowley and his wife Rose arrive at Port Said 1904.

9. Crowley and Rose travel to Cairo 1904. The 21st working in the Paris Working 1914.

10. The 22nd working in the Paris Working 1914.

11. The 23rd working in the Paris Working. Crowley pledges to do a Magical Retirement concerning Augoeides 1906.

12. The birth and death of Crowley’s sister Grace Mary Elizabeth Crowley 1880. The 24th and last working in the Paris Working 1914.

13. Crowley visits Allan Bennett in Burma 1901.

14. Crowley begins Augoeides 1906. Crowley leaves Paris to return to Fontainbleu 1922.

15. Crowley begins to come off heroin 1922.

16. The Greater Feast of Raoul Loveday 1923.

17. The funeral of Raoul Loveday 1923. Crowley’s fifth lecture on Yoga in Paris 1937.

18. Karl Germer is liberated from a French concentration camp 1941.

19. Crowley and Rose go to Helwan and Crowley plays golf 1904.

20. The Crowley’s reach Yunnanfu in their walk across China 1906.

21. Crowley writes Ahab 1902.

22. The Greater Feast of Leah Hirsig 1975.

23. Crowley leaves Allan Bennett whom he visited in Akyab 1902.

24. Crowley begins his preparations for the Sacred Magic of Abramelin with the Oath of the Beginning 1900. Crowley’s sixth lecture on Yoga in Paris 1937.

25. The Sunday Express publishes an article about the death of Raoul Loveday 1923.

26. The nativity of Anne Leah (Poupee), Crowley’s child by Leah Hirsig 1920

27. Crowley performs a magic operation with Ninette Shumway 1919.

28. Crowley’s ‘first missionary mission’ talk at Cambridge for the Pan Society 1907. Jack Parsons received the Book of Babalon in the Mojave Desert 1946.

29.* The young Crowley is taken to view the dead body of his sister grace Mary Elizabeth Crowley 1880.

MARCH

1. The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn is founded 1888.

2. The Crowley’s breakfast with the Consul General 1906.

3. Crowley’s ‘ragged Ragtime Girls’ open at The Old Tivoli 1913. Crowley’s seventh lecture on Yoga in Paris 1937.

4. The Sunday Express interview with Betty May the Tiger Woman and wife of Raoul Loveday 1923.

5. Death of Crowley’s father Edward Crowley 1887.

6. The Crowley’s reach the Plateau and Gorge on their walk across China 1906.

7. The Mother’s Tragedy published 1901.

8. Leah Hirsig returns home after the birth of their daughter Anne leah (Poupee) 1920.

9. The death of Crowley’s daughter by his wife Rose whom they called Lola Zaza Crowley 1990.

10. Crowley’s ‘My wanderings in search of the absolute’ appears in the Referee 1935. Crowley’s eighth and final lecture on Yoga in Paris 1937.

11. Crowley is served a writ on behalf of Mathers for publishing Golden Dawn secret rituals in The Equinox 1910.

12. Frank Bennett joins the A∴A∴ 1910. The nativity of John Symonds 1914.

13. The first performance of the Gnostic Mass at Agape Lodge OTO California 1933.

14. Crowley and his wife Rose take a flat in Cairo 1904.

15. The long march over cobbles in the wind and the rain when Crowley’s horse constantly slipped and stumbled on the walk across China 1906.

16. Crowley performed the Preliminary Invocation of the Goetia for Rose’s amusement 1904.

17. Crowley invoked Thoth 1904. Crowley gave a talk Travelling on the Astral Plane in London 1939.

18. Crowley completes Book III of Orpheus 1902.

19. Crowley performs The Invocation of Horus 1904.

20. Crowley wrote ‘Crowleymas Day’ [Berashith] 1902. The Equinox, volume I, number I. 1909.

21. The nativity of Jane Wolfe 1875. The Equinox volume III, number I published 1919.

22. Crowley and his wife Rose travel to Hong Kong 1906.

23. Crowley boards a train for Rawalpindi 1902. Crowley moves to 60 Jermyn Street, London 1907.

24. Crowley finished moving into 60 Jermyn Street, London 1907.

25. Crowley sends his finished proof of Olla to the publishers 1946.

26. Crowley is busy correcting his Simon Iff stories 1919.

27. Chokmah Day 7 ends 1916. Chokmah Day 12 ends 1917.

28. Chokmah Day 2 ends 1915. Chokmah Day 8 begins 1916. Chokmah day 13 begins 1917.

29. Chokmah Day 3 begins 1915.

30. Frater Achad [C S Jones] travels from Vancouver and joins Crowley to assist him in the Amalantrah Workings and The Equinox 1918.

31. Karl Germer sailed for the USA 1941.

APRIL

1. Leila Waddell joins the A∴A∴ 1910. Crowley arrived in Cefalu 1920.

2. The nativity of C S Jones [Frater Achad] 1886. The Abbey of Thelema founded 1920.

3. Crowley and Eckenstein leave Mexico City for Chalchicomula 1901.

4. Crowley ‘foolishly and wickedly puts off Augoeides’ 1906.

5. Crowley is suffering from malaria 1906.

6. Victor Neuburg becomes the first member to join the A∴A∴ 1909.

7. Crowley goes to 36 Blythe Road, London, location of the Second Order 1900 and postpones his Abramelin operation.

8. Chapter I of the Book of the Law 1904.

9. The nativity of Leah Hirsig 1883. The nativity of Roddie Minor [the Camel] 1884. Chapter II of the Book of the Law 1904. Crowley stays with Soror Fidelis in Hong Kong 1906.

10. Chapter III of the Book of the Law 1904. The first day of the Laughing Torso trial 1934.

11. The second day of the Laughing Torso trial 1934.

12. The third day of the Laughing Torso trial 1934.

13. The fourth and final day of the Laughing Torso trial 1934.

14. Leah and baby Poupee arrive at the Abbey of Thelema, Cefalu 1920.

15. Crowley attempts to stop the Golden Dawn rowdiness with symbol of Mahawani Thesi 1900.

16. Crowley climbs the Great Gully [Deep Ghyll] in Cefalu 1919.

17. Crowley attempts to seize the Vault of the Adepts at 36 Blythe Road, London 1900.

18. Crowley is studying Liber legis and asks Fidelis to invoke Aiwass. Hong Kong 1906.

19. The Doctor is sent for as baby Poupee is unwell at the Abbey of Thelema 1920.

20. Leah, Ninette and Crowley are intoxicated at the Abbey. Ninette runs off and Crowley pursues her and brings her back safely 1920.

21. Crowley leaves Fidelis and Shanghai 1906. Reuss appoints Crowley National Grand Master General Xth Degree OTO of Great Britain and Ireland 1912.

22. The nativity of Marjorie Cameron 1922. Norman Mudd arrives at the Abbey of Thelema 1923.

23. The order of Expulsion from Cefalu is read to Crowley 1923.

24. Crowley is at Kobe (Japan) where he has a vision of the Order of the Silver Star 1906.

25. Crowley first recognises the fact that he must accept the Cairo Working and that he has been chosen 1906.

26. Gerald Kelly (Rose Crowley’s brother) visits the Crowley’s at their home 21 Warwick Road – Rose is still drinking heavily 1908. Jones v the Looking Glass 1911.

27. Jacot-Guillarmod arrives at Boleskine 1905.

28. Crowley leaves Srinagar to begin the climb of Cogo Ri 1902.

29. The Great Haggis Hunt at Boleskine 1905.

30. Crowley’s entry in his diary: ‘Force and Fire – Invoke Often’ 1906.

MAY

1. The death of Crowley’s daughter, in Rangoon, little Nuit by Rose 1906. Crowley is expelled from Italy 1923. The first visit by Gerald Gardener to see Crowley 1947.

2. Crowley arrives in Tunisia 1923. Crowley’s child is born to Deidre Macalpine named Randal Gair Doherty 1937.

3. Crowley leaves San Francisco for Hawaii 1901.

4. Crowley dreams of his mother’s death 1917.

5. Crowley meets John Symonds 1946.

6. The nativity of Victor Benjamin Neuburg 1883.

7. Crowley’s diary reads: ‘Augoeides good; starry effect concentrating into a brilliant moonlight in my body’ 1906.

8. Also from Crowley’s diary: ‘same effect as yesterday’ 1906.

9. The Evocation of Bartzabel. Dorset 1910.

10. Crowley met Mary Alice Rogers [this is Day One of ‘Alice an Adultery’ published 1903] 1901. Crowley is in court concerning the libel he brought against the bookshop in London’s Praed Street 1933.

11. Crowley arrived in Tunis 1923.

12. Crowley records in his diary that Pearl Brooksmith is showing signs of insanity 1936.

13. Crowley consults the I Ching as to proposing marriage to de Miramar ‘a rash act’ 1929.

14. Police enter and raid the offices of MMM 93 Regent Street, London 1917.

15. Crowley arrives in New York 1906.

16. Kenneth Grant sees Crowley for the last time 1945.

17. Crowley’s diary reads: ;Augoeides better, but “business” is a nuisance, and prevents the mind concentrating’ 1906.

18. Crowley is in Venice and he takes Anhalonium Lewinii 1910.

19. The article ‘A man we’d like to hang’ appears by John Bull 1923.

20. Crowley and Leah perform sex magic at the Abbey to release the energy of Babalon into Leah 1921.

21. Crowley seems quite content at the Abbey of Thelema 1919.

22. On this the ‘thirteenth day’ of Alice an Adultery, Crowley and ‘Alice’ kiss for the first time 1901.

23. Crowley takes the Oath of an Ipsissimus 1921.

24. Crowley meets the book publisher Grant Richards (1897-1948) who declines Crowley’s autobiography and his ‘Drug Fiend’ 1922.

25. Kenneth M Ward joins the A∴A∴ 1909.

26. Crowley leaves New York for England on the SS Compania 1906.

27. Crowley performs a magical operation for good health 1917.

28. Crowley performs another magical operation, this time to establish the law of Thelema 1917.

29. Crowley sends Bertha Busch to London from Germany to see G Yorke and negotiate a loan 1932.

30. The Greater Feast of Victor Benjamin Neuburg 1940.

31. Crowley invokes Aiwass and shown Baphomet and receives the Word of the Oath of Ipsissimus 1920.

JUNE

1. Crowley receives £60 advance for ‘Drug Fiend’ from Collins publishers 1922.

2. Crowley arrives in Liverpool from the USA where he learns of the death of his child 1906.

3. W T Smith retires to the desert [Apotheosis] 1943.

4. Crowley paints Leah with Enteritis 1919. Crowley has a vision while writing the Confessions 1923.

5. Crowley sets out with the first team to climb K2 1902.

6. Crowley writes to G Yorke 1944 [first contact since they split in 1932].

7. Crowley met his wife Rose at Plymouth following the death of their child 1906.

8. Chokmah Day 8 ends 1916.

9. The nativity of Louise Helene Fraux Shumway [Ninette] 1894. The nativity of C F Russell 1897. Chokmah Day 3 ends 1915. Chokmah Day 9 begins 1916. Chokmah Day 14 begins 1917. Chokmah Day 18 ends 1918.

10. Crowley met Helen Westley (the Snake) and poet Jean Robert Foster (the Cat) 1915. Chokmah Day 4 begins 1915. Chokmah Day 19 begins 1918.

11. The Crowley’s move to The Grange, Redhill, Surrey 1881.

12. Crowley leaves for Darjeeling 1905. Karl and Maria Germer emigrate to the USA 1926.

13. Jane Wolfe begins her Magical Retirement at the Abbey of Thelema 1921.

14. Jane Wolfe’s tent on the beach is surrounded by sea so Crowley and C F Russell move the tent 1921.

15. The Greater Feast of Norman Mudd 1934.

16. Crowley arrives at the Baltoro Glacier 1902. The end of the Amalantrah Workings 1918.

17. Crowley begins his comment to Liber LXV 1923.

18. The beginning of Victor Neuburg’s Magical Retirement at Boleskine 1909.

19. Crowley is reading his book The Butterfly Net [Moonchild] 1920. Crowley finishes the chapter concerning the Magus in his Confessions 1923.

20. Norman Mudd arrives in Tunisia 1923. The burial of Norman Mudd 1934. The Greater Feast of Jack Parsons 1952.

21. Crowley visits Karl Germer 1925.

22. Crowley leaves Germany and returns to London 1932.

23. George Cecil Jones visits Crowley during his Augoeides Working 1906.

24. Crowley experiments with Ethyl Oxide 1923.

25. Crowley’s four page prospectus and subscription form for The Equinox volume III, number 3 [The Equinox of the Gods] published 1936.

26. Crowley continues his comment on Liber LXV (begun on 25th June) 1923.

27. Victor Neuburg’s initiation ends at Boleskine 1909.

28. Crowley finds Liber Al in the loft at Boleskine 1909.

29. The 38th day since Crowley and ‘Alice’ kiss and the 50th day since they met. This is their last day together. He is ‘finished with that foolishness’ 1901

30. Crowley goes to Tunis and plays and wins 4 games of chess 1923.

JULY

1. Crowley’s proofs of ‘Thumbs Up’ arrived 1941.

2. Crowley is waiting for Jane Wolfe to arrive in Tunis and asks for a ‘message’ concerning her non-appearance 1920.

3. The nativity of Raoul Loveday 1900. Crowley at the Statue of Liberty 1915. Crowley met Pearl Brooksmith 1933.

4. Karl Germer returned to Berlin 1929.

5. Mary Butts and Cecil Maitland arrive at the Abbey of Thelema, Cefalu 1921.

6. Crowley arrives in New York 1900.

7. At 11 a.m. Lord Tankerville tells Crowley he is ‘sick of his teaching’ 1907. Crowley and the Ragged Ragtime Girls travel to Russia 1913.

8. Crowley and other climbers move to camp 11 ‘Camp Despair’ 1902.

9. Crowley views the mountains in Darjeeling and reconnoitres the route on the Kangchenjunga expedition 1905.

10. Crowley returns to the Abbey of Thelema after waiting for Jane Wolfe in Tunis 1920.

11. Crowley hears from C S Jones who has taken the Oath of the Abyss (on the summer solstice) 1916.

12. Crowley is at Lake Pasquaney and he encounters the ‘electric ball of light’ 1916. Boleskine sold 1918.

13. Crowley goes to Edinburgh and hires ‘Red Headed Arabella’ 1903.

14. Crowley receives a note saying that Pfannl is ill on Chogo Ro climb 1902.

15. Crowley receives a telegram from Jacot Guilarmod saying he has been wrecked in the Red Sea 1905.

16. Crowley wrote ‘Good Hunting’ 1916.

17. Crowley performs the ‘Frog Ceremony’ 1916. Frank Bennett [Frater Progradior] arrives at the Abbey of Thelema, Cefalu 1921.

18. C F Russell begins his Magical Retirement 1921.

19. Crowley begins his Magical Retirement in a canoe on the Hudson River USA 1918.

20. The nativity of H C Pollitt 1871. Kenneth Grant is expelled from OTO by Karl Germer 1955.

21. Crowley wrote ‘La Gitana’ 1907.

22. Crowley swears an oath of obedience to the Scarlet Woman [Leah Hirsig] 1920.

23. The nativity of Rose Edith Kelly [Crowley’s wife] 1874.

24. The end of C F Russell’s Magical Retirement 1921.

25. Crowley loses the injunction for libel in court 1934.

26. Crowley wrote the ‘Law of Liberty’ 1916. Crowley consumes the ‘Thelemic Host’ offered by the Scarlet Woman [Leah Hirsig] 1920.

27. Crowley is ‘crucified’ by G C Jones 1906.

28. The nativity of Crowley’s daughter Nuit Ma Ahathoor Hecate Sappho Jezebel Lilith Crowley at Boleskine 1904.

29. Crowley has the idea of founding a magical order [A∴A∴] 1906.

30. Crowley returns to London 1906. Crowley wrote ‘Filo de Se’ 1916.

31. Crowley and Neuburg leave Paris for Bordeaux to begin a walking trip through Spain 1908. Chokmah Day 10 begins 1916. Chokmah Day 14 ends 1917. Chokmah Day 19 ends 1918.

AUGUST

1. Crowley and Neuburg go to Bayonne, France 1908. Crowley leaves London for Berlin to exhibit his art 1930.

2. Crowley and Neuburg arrive in Madrid, Spain 1908. Crowley arrives in Berlin 1930.

3. Crowley met Bertha Busch 1931.

4. Camp 9, Chogo Ri 1902.

5. Crowley attempts to tame a thrush that enters the cottage at Lake Pasquaney 1916.

6. Crowley opens an account in the name of Ordo Templi Orientis 1918.

7. Resting at camp 7, Chogo Ri 1902.

8. Crowley leaves Darjeeling and the Kangchenjunga expedition begins 1905.

9. Crowley wrote ‘The Invocation of the Ring’ 1906. Crowley’s second meeting with Pearl Brooksmith 1933.

10. The nativity of Leila Waddell 1880.

11. Rose Kelly tells Crowley of her plight 1903.

12. Rose and Crowley are married in Dingwall, Scotland 1903.

13. W T Smith leaves the desert and abandons magick 1943.

14. The march to camp 1, Chogo Ri 1902.

15. Crowley goes to Paiyu from the Chogo Ri glacier 1902.

16. 11.20 a.m. Crowley marries Maria Teresa de Miramar in Germany 1929.

17. Crowley travels to Kandy and studies with Bennett 1901.

18. Crowley performs a magic operation to achieve the Divine Knowledge 1917.

19. Crowley is living with Pearl Brooksmith 1933.

20. Chokmah Day 9 ends 1916.

21. Chokmah Day 4 ends 1915. Crowley hears of C S Jones’ attainment to Magister Templi [the child prophesised in the Book of the Law] 1916.

22. Crowley spends three days in a canoe under the weir by Boulter’s Lock and wrote ‘Aha’ 1909. Chokmah Day 5 begins 1915. Chokmah Day 15 begins 1917. Chokmah Day 20 begins 1918.

23. The Rite of Artemis 1910. The Star Sponge vision 1916.

24. The ‘Freethinker’ publication defends Crowley [A Fair Plea for Fair Play] 1930.

25. Crowley performs a magical operation to promulgate the Law of Thelema 1915.

26. Crowley is suffering from fever 1902.

27. The ride to Pinderbal from Chogo Ri 1902.

28. Crowley and Neuburg left Madrid and abandon their idea of walking to Gibraltar and go on to Granada and Rondon 1908.

29. Crowley instructs the Lecram Press to send ‘Magick’ to Mandrake Press 1929.

30. Crowley moves to 56 Welbeck Street, London 1936.

31. Crowley takes six men up the snow slope on the Kangchenjunga expedition 1905.

SEPTEMBER

1. Pearl Brooksmith became the Scarlet Woman 1933.

2. Crowley wrote six sonnets and other verse on the bombardment of Corfu 1923.

3. Crowley left the Kangchenjunga expedition for Darjeeling 1905.

4. Crowley was on the threshold of eviction from 56 Welbeck Street, London due to Pearl’s disruption the previous night 1936.

5. The Vision of Jupiter 1918.

6. The nativity of Dorothy Olsen [Soror Astrid] 1892.

7. Crowley read Nina Hamnett’s autobiography ‘Laughing Torso’ 1932.

8. Crowley began writing ‘The God of Ibreez’ 1916.

9. The nativity of Oscar Eckenstein 1859. Crowley is in New York preparing to publish The Equinox volume III, number 1 1917.

10. Crowley begins writing ‘The Old Man of the Peepul Tree’ 1916. ‘The Stratagem and Other Stories’ published 1929.

11. Crowley finished writing ‘The Old Man of the Peepul Tree’ 1916. Crowley performs a magic operation in praise of Pan, the god of lust 1917.

12. Diary entry: ‘woke after the hideous nightmare that I called the “Mislaid MSS”’ 1916.

13. Crowley begins writing ‘The Hearth’ 1916 [and finishes it the next day].

14. The Greater Feast of Leila Waddell 1932. Mary Butts and Cecil Maitland sign their A∴A∴ oaths of probationer 1921.

15. Crowley sailed from Gibraltar to London 1908.

16. Mary Butts and Cecil Maitland leave the Abbey of Thelema for Paris 1921.

17. Crowley enters Ashdown Park Hotel, Caulsdon, Surrey 1906.

18. Crowley and Dorothy Olsen go to Tunis where Crowley writes ‘To Man’ [The Mediterranean Manifesto] 1924.

19. A distraught Leah Hirsig prepares for her own death 1924.

20. The Equinox volume I, number 2 published 1909.

21. The ‘end of 32 weeks, 8 months, 224 days of Augoeides’ 1906.

22. G C Jones visits Crowley at Ashdown Park where they celebrate the autumn equinox 1906.

23. Crowley’s fake suicide at Boco-do Infierno 1930. ‘The Equinox of the Gods’ published 1936.

24. Leah Hirsig writes her will in Paris leaving everything to Norman Mudd 1924.

25. ‘Moonchild’ published 1929.

26. Letter to Crowley from Leah Hirsig, a farewell 1924. Crowley goes to live in Torquay 1940.

27. Rose Crowley enters an asylum 1911.

28. Crowley receives the Vision of the Rosy Light 1933.

29. Leah Hirsig receives a telegram from Ninette Shumway saying that Alma Bliss [Leah’s sister] has gone to the USA with Leah’s son Hansi 1924.

30. Bertha Busch becomes Crowley’s new Scarlet Woman 1931.

OCTOBER

1. Crowley begins his two week Magical Retirement in Paris [John St John] 1908.

2. Crowley successfully reached a state of Dhyana 1902.

3. Leah Hirsig places the Seal of Babalon upon Norman Mudd’s Phallus 1924.

4. Crowley leaves India for Cairo then to Paris (in November) to meet Mathers 1902.

5. Crowley gives Frank Bennett X degree charter as head of the OTO [Australia] 1921. Crowley vs Constable and Co 1932.

6. Crowley and Jean Robert Foster [the Cat] leave New York for the West Coast 1915.

7. Leah Hirsig and Norman Mudd consummate their Thelemic marriage 1924.

8. Leah Hirsig take baby Poupee to the doctors in Palermo 1920.

9. Crowley successfully completes the Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mage [Shivadarshana] 1906.

10. Crowley discovers that his wife Rose is an alcoholic 1906.

11. Crowley meets Mary Desti 1911. Little Poupee is in hospital 1920.

12. The nativity of Edward Alexander Crowley 1875. Crowley became a Magus 1915.

13. The end of Crowley’s Magical Retirement in Paris [John St John] 1908.

14. Death of baby Anne Leah (Poupee) 1920.

15. Diary entry: ‘Sudden fever yesterday. Better today’ 1916.

16. Diary entry: ‘Unpacking. Samadhi nearly, yet not quite, worn off. At work very hard all day’ 1906.

17. Crowley goes to New York 1916.

18. Crowley performs a magical operation to consecrate 1 University Place, corner of Washington Square, New York City, to Pan 1917.

19. The Rite of Saturn 1910.

20. Leah Hirsig miscarries Crowley’s child [second time] 1920

21. Crowley performs a magical operation to improve his fortunes 1917.

22. Crowley astrally visits Soror Fidelis: the Vision of the Golden Hawk 1905.

23. Crowley finishes writing ‘Ercildoune’ 1907.

24. Crowley leaves for the USA 1914.

25. Crowley, Alostrael [Hirsig] and ‘Mahammod’ are on a Magical Retirement in the desert 1923.

26. The Rite of Jupiter 1910.

27. Crowley, Alostrael [Hirsig] and ‘Mahammod’ cut short their Magical Retirement as Hirsig fell ill and so they returned to Nefta 1923.

28. Crowley is attacked in Calcutta by robbers 1905.

29. Crowley automatically receives Liber vel Lapidis Lazuli [Liber VII] 1907

30. Liber VII is finished and Liber LXV begins 1907. The Greater Feast of George Cecil Jones, 1960.

31. Frater Achad ‘s [C S Jones] revelation concerning the Book of the Law 1918.

NOVEMBER

1. Chokmah Day 10 ends 1916.

2. The Rite of Mars 1910. Chokmah Day 5 ends 1915. Chokmah Day 11 begins 1916. Chokmah Day 20 ends 1918.

3. Crowley finishes receiving Liber LXV 1907. Chokmah Day 1 begins 1914. Chokmah Day 6 begins 1915. Chokmah Day 16 begins 1917. Chokmah Day 21 begins 1918.

4. Crowley returns to the Abbey of Thelema after meeting Raoul Loveday 1922.

5. Crowley goes to Pere-Lachaise cemetery in Paris and the tomb of Oscar Wilde to remove the ‘butterfly’ attached to the sexual organ of the sculpture by Epstein 1913.

6. Crowley comes up with the magical word ‘OZ’ [goat] 1941.

7. Walter T Smith writes to Crowley to inform him that he is suspending Agape Lodge in California until they receive better initiates 1936.

8. Victor Neuburg’s marriage 1921.

9. The Rite of Sol 1910.

10. Crowley and Neuburg leave London for a walking holiday in Algeria 1909.

11. Crowley is evicted from his room in Grosvenor Square 1934.

12. Crowley performs a magical operation [XI degree] for wealth and is successful 1915.

13. Crowley writes to Sir Agamya Guru Paramahansa 1906.

14. Crowley explores the 30th Aethyr in Mexico 1900. Chokmah Day 1 ends 1915.

15. Chokmah Day 2 begins 1915.

16. Crowley writes ‘Ascension Day’ 1901. The Rite of Venus 1910.

17. Crowley explores the 29th Aethy in Mexico 1900. Crowley writes ‘Pentecost’ 1901. The nativity of Israel Regardie 1907. Crowley and Neuburg arrive in Algiers 1909.

18. Crowley’s initiation into the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn 1898.

19. Norman Mudd signs himself into a home for the poor homeless 1924.

20. Adam Gray Murray arrives at the Abbey of Thelema, Cefalu with 200 lire donation from South Africa 1923.

21. Crowley and Neuburg arrive at Aumale 1909. The Ab-ul-diz working 1911. C F Russell arrive at the Abbey of Thelama 1920.

22. Crowley suffers from ‘intellectual insanity’ and writers’ block before undergoing the Augoeides 1905.

23. Crowley and Neuburg the 28th Aethyr 1909. The Rite of Mercury 1910.

24. Rose divorces Crowley in an Edinburgh court and Crowley and Neuburg 27th Aethyr 1909.

25. Crowley received LXVI 1907. Crowley and Neuburg the 26th Aethyr 1909.

26. Crowley and Neuburg the 24th Aethyr 1909. The nativity of Crowley’s daughter by Ninette Shumway named Astarte Lulu Panthea in Cefalu 1920. Raoul Loveday and his wife Betty May arrive at the Abbey of Thelema 1922.

27. Crowley has fever in Bou-Saada 1909.

28. Crowley and Neuburg the 23rd and 22nd Aethyrs 1909. The Ab-ul-diz working 1911.

29. Crowley and Neuburg the 21st Aethyr in the desert 1909.

30. Crowley and Neuburg the 20th and 19th Aethyrs 1909. The Rite of Luna 1910.

DECEMBER

1. Crowley and Neuburg the 18th Aethyr 1909. The Greater Feast of Aleister Crowley 1947.

2. Crowley and Neuburg the 17th and 16th Aethyrs 1909.

3. Crowley and Neuburg the 14th Aethyr and Crowley became a Magister Templi 1909.

4. Crowley and Neuburg the 13th and 12th Aethyrs 1909.

5. Crowley and Neuburg the 11th Aethyr 1909. The funeral of Aleister Crowley at Brighton 1947.

6. Crowley and Neuburg the 10th Aethyr ‘Choronzon’ 1909.

7. Crowley and Neuburg the 9th Aethyr 1909. Crowley wrote ‘Temperance: a tract for the times’ 1939.

8. Crowley met Norman Mudd at Trinity College, Cambridge University 1907. Crowley and Neuburg the 8th Aethyr 1909 [they begin to travel to Biskra].

9. Crowley and Neuburg the 7th Aethyr 1909.

10. G C Jones declares Crowley a Master of the Temple 1906.

11. Crowley and Neuburg the 6th Aethyr 1909.

12. Crowley receives Liber Porta Lucis 1907. Crowley accept grade of Magus 1915.

13. Crowley receives Liber Tau 1907. Crowley wrote The Soldier and the Hunchback 1908. Crowley and Neuburg the 5th Aethyr 1909.

14. Crowley receives Liber Trigrammaton 1907.

15. Rose Crowley is ill 1903. Crowley left Plymouth on the ‘Marlborough’ for France 1908.

16. Crowley and Neuburg arrive in Biskra: the 4th Aethyr 1909.

17. Crowley and Neuburg the 3rd Aethyr 1909.

18. Crowley and Neuburg the 2nd Aethyr 1909.

19. Crowley and Neuburg the 1st Aethyr 1909.

20. Crowley falls with his horse over a cliff 1905. Crowley and Neuburg finish the 2nd Aethyr 1909.

21. During the winter Solstice Raoul Loveday became a probationer of the A∴A∴ 1922. Crowley’s final initiation stage in the grade if Ipsissimus 1923.

22. Crowley has gathered representatives at Cleopatra’s Needle to present them with copies of the Book of the Law [The 4th publication of The Equinox of the Gods] 1937.

23. Crowley is in Amsterdam where he has a crisis of faith 1897.

24. C S Jones joins the A∴A∴ as a probationer 1909.

25. Crowley spends Christmas dinner with Karl Germer, his mistress Hedy, Hamilton, Christopher Isherwood and Stephen Spender in Berlin 1931.

26. Leah Hirsig renounces her title as the Scarlet Woman1929.

27. Crowley’s Atmadarshana 1906.

28. Crowley lunches with Gwendolen Otter 1919.

29. Crowley performs a magical operation to improve his sex force attraction 1917.

30. Vanity Fair publishes an article by Crowley on how to write a novel after W Somerset Maugham 1908.

31. Crowley’s Stockholm revelation 1896. The beginning of the Paris Working [first working] 1913.

WANTED: Female companion - must be Loud and Adulterous!

illustration by B Van-Asten.

HYMN TO PAN

Thrill with lissome lust of the light,

O man! My man!

Come careering out of the night

Of Pan! Io Pan! Io Pan! Io Pan!

Come over the sea

From Sicily and from Arcady!

Roaming as Bacchus, with fauns and pards

And nymphs and satyrs for thy guards,

On a milk-white ass, come over the sea

To me, to me,

Come with Apollo in bridal dress

(Sphepherdess and pythoness)

Come with Artemis, silken shod,

And wash thy white thigh, beautiful God,

In the moon of the woods, on the marble mount,

The dimpled dawn of the amber fount!

Dip the purple of passionate prayer

In the crimson shrine, the scarlet snare,

The soul that startles in eyes of blue

To watch thy wantonness weeping through

The tangled grove, the gnarled bole

Of the living tree that is spirit and soul

And body and brain -come over the sea,

(Io Pan! Io Pan!)

Devil or god, to me, to me,

My man! my man!

Come with trumpets sounding shrill

Over the hill!

Come with drums low muttering

From the spring!

Come with flute and come with pipe!

Am I not ripe?

I, who wait and writhe and wrestle

With air that hath no boughs to nestle

My body, weary of empty clasp,

Strong as a lion and sharp as an asp -

Come, O come!

I am numb

With the lonely lust of devildom.

Thrust the sword through the galling fetter,

All-devourer, all-begetter;

Give me the sign of the Open Eye,

And the token erect of thorny thigh,

And the word of madness and mystery,

O Pan ! Io Pan!

Io Pan! Io Pan Pan! Pan Pan! Pan,

I am a man:

Do as thou wilt, as a great god can

O Pan! Io Pan!

Io Pan! Io Pan Pan! I am awake

In the grip of the snake.

The eagle slashes with beak and claw;

The gods withdraw:

The great beasts come, Io Pan! I am borne

To death on the horn

Of the Unicorn.

I am Pan! Io Pan! Io Pan Pan! Pan!

I am thy mate, I am thy man,

Goat of thy flock, I am gold , I am god,

Flesh to thy bone, flower to thy rod.

With hoofs of steel I race on the rocks

Through solstice stubborn to equinox.

And I rave; and I rape and I rip and I rend

Everlasting, world without end,

Mannikin, maiden, maenad, man,

In the might of Pan.

Io Pan! Io Pan Pan! Pan! Io Pan!

[Aleister Crowley]

SUDANENKA

by AUDRAREP

PREFACE

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

The full and true history of any Adept could only be

written by himself, and even then, if brought before

the eyes of the world at large, how many persons

would lend credence to it?

[The Book of the Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mage. Introduction. pxxi ]

The story of Sudanenka came to me in the year nineteen-hundred-and-ninety-four e.v. following a magical working whereby I invoked Auramoth, the Goddess who presides over the element of water, in the South, (also representative of the Hanged Man in the Tarot). The story is that of a Baptism which is also a Death; the symbol of the Triangle surmounted by a Cross – the descent of Light into Darkness, to redeem it. And thus one aspect of Sudanenka is the Hanged Man, the Dying God of Self Sacrifice which is an image belonging firmly in the old aeon of Osiris, along with the notion of Chastity!
We find that ‘Man and Tree were One’, which we can assume to mean that Sudanenka is a representation of the Christ figure, crucified as a sacrifice for the redemption of sins. But water being the element of illusion, we find that all apparent truth is but a mirror of itself. Mem, the letter in the Hebrew alphabet which symbolises water, gives us a return to the eternal silence, (in accordance with this the student should read Crowley’s chapters on various magical formulas, i.e. his explanation of the word AUM . See Magick ).
Sudanenka is the centre of his own universe whereby he is a being of perfect and absolute equilibrium; there is no part of his nature that is in opposition to his will. He has attained, yet this is not to say that he has ceased to evolve in any way, for as a magician, he is part of a continual cycle which is perpetually in motion and is never static; he embraces change, as all those who accept the Law must do, for it is only by the understanding of this process that true Magick can flow, ‘the word of sin is restriction’. And is not the Ankh also known as an ankle strap? It is inertia that is the enemy of the Great Work! – Go! And be ye not Black Brothers!

Without going outside, you may know the world.

Without looking through the window, you may

see the ways of heaven. The farther you go, the

less you know. Thus the sage knows without

travelling; He sees without looking; He works

without doing. - Tao Te Ching

Man must become the Cup to receive the higher spiritual forces which exist on more subtle realms than the lower world of matter. Once this is attained, the transcendental beauty and purity beyond the Abyss will be reflected in the Adept.
In Sudanenka we see the strength of Geburah which is a corrective force; a violent yet disciplined energy (Ra-Hoor-Khuit: Will) balanced with that of Chesed, which is protective and jovial (Hoor-Par-Krat: Love). This ‘union of duality’, of severity and mercy, is Horus, whose destructive force purges and cleanses elements which no longer have a use. And so in reference to the ‘sacrifice’ we see only ‘change’ and not ‘annihilation’. Sudanenka may give the impression of a typical ‘Christian’ whose small mind screams sin! and cowardly heart cries shame! when confronted by lust, but as in all things, in one’s animal urges and in all one’s sensorial experiences, it is not the act (for there is no sin but restriction), it is the feelings and emotions which accompany the act which cause the harm and imbalance to the adept when empowered by negative forces.

Wisdom says: be strong! Then canst thou bear more joy. Be not animal; refine thy rapture! If thou drink, drink by the eight and ninety rules of art: if thou love, exceed by delicacy; and if thou do aught joyous, let there be subtlety therein!

But exceed! exceed!

It was in the year two-thousand-and-four e.v. on the day of the moon, three days before the centenary of the writing of the Book of the Law that I encountered a certain Adept. An Adeptus Major who expounded certain truths to me in plain English, and each found their target, and I left his side as if I were poor bloody St Sebastian, filled by his wondrous arrows!

Every breath, every word, every thought, every deed is an act of love with Thee.
The beat of my heart is the pendulum of love.
The songs of me are the soft sighs:
The thoughts of me are very rapture:

He shall await the sword of the Beloved and bare his throat for the stroke.
Then shall his blood leap out and write me runes in the sky; yea, write me runes in the sky.

[Liber Liberi vel Lapidis Lazuli. Sub Figura VII. Part V]

Love is the law, love under will.

SUDANENKA

Come not unto me as the lamb,

But come unto me as the wolf.

OOO

THE OPENING OF THE VEIL

The road is long and dark and weary, cobbled with guilt that stretches into shame. It is the road along which all must pass when the flesh becomes the flower of the grave. And on either side of this winding road are fields rich and plentiful in fruit, but eateth not, for it is poisonous fruit which containeth the milk of the Gods. Beyond the fruit fields lie hills speckled with bright flowering blooms whose touch is death, for they are the souls of 'what would be' and they look not above for they look below, consumed by veiled virtue that is forever the chain about them. And beyond these, in ever-widening circles are the forests of 'those we have forgotten' for they are the meek who cloak their aspirations in deceit, and they tower as cathedral domes above the dark-loving mushroom tops of 'when we are again' who cluster in clumps of selfish pride and talk of 'things we shall do'. Yet nothing shall be acomplished by imperfection, for it is as a wheel in the form of a cone that turns repeatedly upon its own axis, and moveth not. And through fields and over hills; beneath forests and over mounds, are meandering footpaths that stray and appear as veins upon a corpse, for through them flow the dung of existence, once mighty in breath, but now a particle of dust blown upon its course by an ancient wind. And the dark forest opens its arms to the road, as if it were the sun rejoicing in the arms of the moon, or a mother cradling her child, or she-wolf suckling its young in the unfathomable pit, howling with despair into the darkness, for this is the place of tormented souls, and no happiness is there; no joy can penetrate the black restless boughs that caress the winding stream, angelic in its appearance. But the wings hath been torn from its crooked back, and lost forever. And it is the tears of confession from the prayers of the weak. There is a light that glows softly in curls and crescents, but no sound, for no wind can stir the tall grass of oblivion into song and no bird hath dared to part its beak, for this is the region of dreadful dreams... this is the silence of the damned!

At the end of the road, like a colossus, is a palace of stone that towers into the sky and reaches beyond the clouds. It is a black symphony of sound in stone, smeared by filth and slime. And yet all around, the scent rises and the scent falls, but never beyond those dread stone walls, splashed in the blasphemy and corruption of time's sins and sorrows. A chorus of breaking bones and unending screams lie beyond the large iron gates that drip with unspeakable wickedness, dark and cavernous, like an immortal cathedral of incarnate hate. And above the gates, written in the putrescence of 'those that were', is the word

Berimhanalakhuskahuit (1)

Upon a hill, in view of the palace, there stood a tree. But this tree was not as other trees in the kingdom, for it was radiant with blossom and richly coloured leaves; leaves that never fall, that never turn nor change, for it is the tree of Life and Knowledge; the tree of the Holy Garden. And beneath its spread boughs, in its circular shade, sat the essence of wisdom in the form of a man, a holy man, in the unending trance of sorrow, for man and tree were one.

THE PRINCE

Upon the long and crooked road that journeys from one end of the kingdom to the other, there walked a prince. He was tall and handsome in his fine clothes and flush with the wonder of youth. His eyes were large, blue and piercing, and somewhat gentle if not a little sad, as if they hungered for beauty, but there was no soft setting in that cruel landscape that could inspire his heart to joy; no swaying woodland rhythm or sweet fruit to taste. And on seeing the holy man beneath the boughs of eternal knowledge, the prince gave a sigh and spoke:
'The garden trembles... it unwraps and folds all into its cheerless Eden, where I am thus carried'. And the prince rested beneath the lush blossom of the tree.
'The road is full of many things', said the holy man, 'things that jump and crawl and sing... tell me: which are you?' and the holy man, without so much as openong his eyes, plucked upon his bones through a hole in his side.
'I am a prince by birth sir and a poet by heart' answered the young prince.
'Beauty's song is rare here in this foul stomach. Do you not see the stream of sorrow flow into the river of despair and joineth the sea of woe?'
'I see, yet I do not see, for there is words in sadness sir' said the prince, gazing upon a small worm that he had plucked from the soil and placed in his snow-white handsighed upon, and returned safely to the ground again. And the prince came closer to the holy man and knelt before him, looking into his ancient face of wisdom, deeply lined.
'Tell me', asked the prince, 'what is your name and why do you sit beside the road beneath this beautiful tree? Dost thou keep the gate's vigil for his majesty?'
'I am called Sudanenka by the many and I am of no name to the few. I sit beside the road for it passes where I sit. The tree, with its cruel roots that wrinkle my bed, also shelters me, and thus the tree hath long been at my side', replied the holy man.
'Then thou art truly an immortal star sir', said the prince with a grand sweeping gesture of his arm and a splendid bow, his nose almost meeting the ground.
The little worm on seeing this, naturally assumed the bow was directed towards him, and so he gave a little bow in return, as if to casually say 'how do you do?' But it went unnoticed. And Sudanenka remained silent.
The light streamed across Sudanenka's stern face of concentration, and the prince fixed his gaze upon a single bead of sweat contemplating the leap between nose and chin, and thence to neck.
'Does not the palace and its loathsome filth disturb thy trance?' enquired the prince.
'I see all', said Sudanenka, 'for I hath seen with my own ears, and heard with my own eyes, and I hath seen and heard eternity'.
'And what is eternity?' questioned the young prince, feigning a puzzled look.
'More than now', replied Sudanenka in his soft voice, opening his eyes and looking upon the prince for the first time. And the prince talked of many things. He recounted his journey through the City of the Shades of What Were, in his search for the City of the Shades of What Are, which he knows to be somewhere before the City of the Shades of What Will Be. And the prince learnt much from the holy man; of his many thousands of years in the shadow of the palace of the abyss, for a thousand years is but a sigh here, and many more thousands of years passed as they talked. After a very long pause, the prince asked:
'Which came first: man or tree?' And Sudanenka was a long time in answering, until eventually he lifted up his hand and spoke:
'The tree of Sanctuary is also the tree of Restriction, and this is the egg of Reason, and this ye must know, for the hardness of the shell is the softness of the yolk. The tree is the perfection of thought and beauty, for by its roots does it take nourishment from the soil: this it concealeth! And the fruit that springs forth is an act of love: this it revealeth! Each bud is an extension of its will and the infinite beauty thereof. This robe upon me is but the circumfrence of a star that shineth as a sun unto the universe. Let the foolish reflect upon its outward shape and appearance, for to the fool, all things are one, and this is their comedy, for it is light in darkness. And let the wise reflect upon its inner light, for to the wise, all things are many, and this is their tragedy, for it is darkness in light'.
And the prince was fallen upon the ground, struck by what had been said. And he remained so for several thousands of years, until he woke from his deep sleep and said:
'I cannot tell what mystery hath been revealed, even though I have thought hard and long upon the question'.
'I asked no question', said Sudanenka.
'But one was inferred', returned the prince.
Sudanenka was silent and several centuries passed before he spoke, during which time neither moved so much as a hair in that astronomical pause.
In the intermission, two figures approached upon the road, so deep in conversation that they failed to notice Sudanenka and the prince beneath the tree. They were on their way to the palace:
'A door has shut in the house of moons', said the first gentleman.
'Methinks thou art a jester sir: hast thou swallowed the pill of madness?' said the other.
'Aye, if love be a kind of madness?'
'Thou hast been here before sir?'
'Aye, in merrier days, perhaps'. And they were gone.
'It is comforting to know', said Sudanenka, 'that foolishness springs in the eternal'. And the prince replied, without hesitation, 'my sentiments entirely sir', forgetting what the question was and not wanting to appear dim-witted. And so having exhausted all forms of conversation, the prince's thoughts turned to his stomach.
'I find words give me an appetite sir', and the prince stretched out his arm to pick an apple from the tree.
'You must not rob the tree of its fruit; their journey hath only begun!' cried Sudanenka.
'But I am hungry and what harm is there?'
'It is not the will of the tree for the apple to be taken; it is the will of the tree for the apple to fall'.
'But many apples have fallen, and all go untouched and come to rot. Do you yourself not eat of them?' said a bemused prince.
'Only those which fall within my reach do I eat. It is of no consequence, their burden is over, for the body is a palace of Light, and all that passeth that way is of the Light and sacred unto the Light; and so shall it extend outwards from the heart of every man, woman and child. And in silence there is mystery, for it is the inactive form of speech'. And Sudanenka began to draw upon the earth about him, with a fallen twig.

SUDANENKA'S SONG

'It hath no sound', whispered Sudanenka, 'which I write upon the ground'. And the prince fell silent as the holy man began to sing; yet its beauty was utterly incomprehensible to the prince, who sat astonished, gazing upon the earth as Sudanenka's song began to radiate from the twig which he held.
'Tell me', said the prince, 'what sin are you guilty of to be punished so?' And Sudanenka simply replied 'no sin'. And both were as stone for many thousands of years, until the prince said, as if it were his next breath:
'Poop...! Poop...!' And time rolled gently into nothing.

III

THE PRINCE'S SONG

'Why so sad?' asked the prince of Sudanenka.
'Not sad', replied the holy man, for sadness implies that I am not content, and sadness is nothing more than joy's excretion. It is the inward, not the outward, in the matter of joy and wisdom, that gives delight; and thus so, it is impossible to communicate the joy between heart and heart, for words are false...'
'I must disagree' interrupted the prince, 'for existence is richer for the word. Without the word, how could thoughts be projected and made solid?'
'Language is a lie! Yet a good one at that!' laughed Sudanenka.
'I'm glad to see you laugh, but can you deny the beauty of words; are you unmoved by such excesses of rhythm and beauty; are you not stirred like a mountain stream, into a torrent of emotion?'
'If the stream be clear, you leave it alone: you do not stir it into mud!'
The prince grew decidedly angry at his friend's reaction and so he began to recite a poem he had written, long, long ago:

'Heart, heart, you have looked into the light,

You have seen the morning blossom in the miracle of night;

And sadness dipped with danger has strangely torn apart,

Love's eternal beauty, in the rapture of the heart.

And the all-consuming flame hath devoured all life from love,

And the dream within the dream is the serpent and the dove.

Then radiate despair, for I can no longer know

What mystery awakes in the heart that leaves you so.

For the heart hath no beginning and the heart it hath no end;

No simple course of nature and no will to comprehend

The light that leaves its embers cold, by the morning light;

Or the tragedy of strangers, grown stranger by the night.

Heart, heart, I curse the solemn air

For you hath given beauty, when beauty was not there.

But take the shadow's softness, and those measurements I know

Of the heart and its caress, that deceived me long ago'.

The prince looked towards Sudanenka, who sat as still as a statue. And the holy man said in a low voice:
'A work of beauty indeed, but...

Hath not a potato eyes, yet can it see?

Hath not a poem feet, yet can it walk?

Hath not a cave a mouth, yet can it speak?

Does a watch: watch? And can a clock hold hands?

When paper tears, does it cry? And

Can a camel walk on water as it walks upon the sand?' (2)

THE QUESTING BEAST

Many thousands of years passed while Sudanenka and the prince sat discussing matters of the heart and matters of the brain; the substantiality of linguistics and the laws of aesthetics. But they agreed on nothing. In fact, it was as if nothing had been said. And all that time, above them, the sky became darker and darker... It grew from a single point, like a spider's web, and the clouds seemed to group in angry silence as if in some malevolent conspiracy; whispering, gloomy and persistent. Sudanenka's heart sank, and the prince also felt the heavy stream of foreboding in the air; it seemed to drift like melancholy ribbons through the soul. Then, suddenly, from the black vault above them, a flash of lightening struck upon the ground. Sudanenka sat fingering his ebony beads as a fearful rumbling erupted from a grassy mound on the opposite side of the road. The prince rose quickly and leapt behind the tree. The mound split in sunder and the earth was shaken, and clouds of black smoke appeared from the cleft, quickly followed by a dark and monstrous head. And the smoke lifted to reveal the head of some ancient and warrior-like dragon, with its blood-red eyes fixed on Sudanenka, who sat unmoved beneath the tree.
'Do you not agree that my ears are plain to see?' said the hideous dragon, showing row upon row of terribly sharp teeth.
'I cannot breathe a falsity,' uttered Sudanenka. 'I see your ears'.
'Therefore', continued the dragon, 'it is by logic that you see me'. And the beast rose from the mound, towering into the air beyond the black clouds. In an infinitesimal flash, the beast diminished in size and became that of a man, yet his head remained that of a dragon.
'Brother, long hast thou dwelt with hoof and horn, now sit ye down with hands and feet'. And Sudanenka beckoned towards the brute.
'Have you not the intelligence to know the dark Lord of the abyss when you see him?' hissed the monster through clenched teeth.
'And what is thy sorcery?' asked Sudanenka.
'Dispersion!' replied the beast.
'I have prayed for your acquaintance'.
'Your prayers do not interest me, for they are rags in which you hide your filthy existence'. The monster said fiercely.
'You must excuse my appearance. My work is never done!'
'Thy work is the Devil's work!' snapped the beast.
'And thy mouth his buttocks!' returned Sudanenka.
During this friendly and eloquent exchange, the prince remained unobserved, which was a curious thing in itself, for he had such a striking and unusual appearance, that ordinarily, one couldn't help but notice him, even when looking in all the wrong places.
'Tell me... who sends such a distinguished Lord as yourself, to seek such a humble man as myself?'
And the beast laughed such a mighty laugh that it rang and echoed throughout all eternity.
'My name hath been uttered by mightier lips than your God, holy man, for I come from the pit of darkness; from the blackness of the abyss, and Chaos and Madness are of me. We are many, and you are one'. And the beast crouched down low like a hunting tiger, stalking its prey, creeping towards Sudanenka. But the wise Sudanenka continued to finger his beads, and even closed his eyes on the beast.
'Do you not flee at destruction?' raged the beast, perplexed at Sudanenka's show of courage.
'I tremble before one God, yet fear of nought!'
'Then you are a fool!' laughed the beast. 'Let your God help you now, for you have wasted your pitiful existence in nothing. What sorcery dost thou yield?'
And the old man dropped his head and dropped his beads, and the beast's eyes became a frenzy of wanton destruction.
'I will break you where you sit, old fool, and take great pleasure in thy ruin'. And the beast became a nightmare of grunting blasphemy:

'Maahagarnii Xilkareton Tsalonai

Bakhoori Baxhara Khuuntereton

Heranuth Larasaral Sagahabad...'

'Thy words hold no fear for me, and thou shalt no more enter upon the sacred shade of this tree, than I am to enter within the gates of the palace. My God hath already weighed thy unspeakable soul'. Said Sudanenka, opening his eyes upon the beast, in the process of transforming itself into a vile and hideous torso, suspended on eight legs protruding from its stomach. It seemed an eternity, and Sudanenka, whose lips had been rippling over some sacred lines, suddenly stopped and exclaimed:
'You may come forth, brother prince'. And the prince stepped from behind the tree, forming the holy trinity and dispersing the evil dyad. And the beast shook to the core as Sudanenka continued:
'Thou art to me as the most beautiful and sweetest smelling rose in the Garden of Eros: Venus is no match for thee!' And the beast showed its foam-filled mouth, frothing and biting at the air with deadly incisors.
'Do not be afraid brother beast, nor ashamed' said Sudanenka, 'for if swine be thy bedfellow, thou must expect muck in thy delight of horror!' And the beast fell to the ground, unable to rise again as it squirmed in torment.
'Thou hath showered thy head with gold yet filth hath been thy heart and filth hath been thy ruin! Lift up thy head and hands, and raise thy heart, for thou art consumed by the power of the one true God, and thou art beautiful in thy destruction'. Sang Sudanenka as the beast crumbled, its screams and roars booming throughout the abyss as Sudanenka's ebony beads bounced in a never-ending chain along the road.
And the prince was mystified, saying 'what miracle hath occurred?'
'No miracle', answered Sudanenka, 'for my way is the way of the universe: one does nought, yet one can move all in nought!' And there was silence once again. And for a thousand years remained the prince at the side of Sudanenka, beneath the tree, a picture of perpetual amazement.

KING DEATH

'This is not Being for this is Going!'
'Explain Master!' said the prince. And the holy man gave the prince the key to the mysteries; the secrets of the laws of equilibrium; the perception of time, and the illusion of matter. And when Sudanenka had finished, he raised his hand to show all was at an end. And at an end it was, for no more words were spoken for several thousand years. And during all that time they saw no one pass upon the road, and the prince's love and devotion towards Sudanenka, grew strong in their brotherhood. The bond of companionship was forged in fire, and hammered and shaped in Hell, yet a time would come... and a time did come! And there came upon the road a mighty rush of thundering hooves, from the gates of the palace. And horse and rider came nearer and nearer, and Sudanenka knew it to be King Death upon his nightmare steed. Closer and closer they came until Death halted before Sudanenka and the prince. Sudanenka remained unstirred by the intrusion, and the devoted prince had learnt to do the same. Death gave a great laugh and said:
'Prince Poet, a eulogy if you will? In mine honour: sing a song of Death! And thou shalt be crowned King Poet of the abyss!'
And the prince began to sing:

'Here be infamy for thy brains;

For thy sacerdotal pains,

For limbs shall lie with black caress

And lips shall quiver at its kiss.

And Death shall suck upon thy veins

Till nought but skin and bone remains.

In the darkness of gross desire,

Burn those very tongs of fire

In the charred basilisk of his strains

Made of damned immortal chains;

He hammers to the lute and lyre:

Yea! Those tongs of fire won't tire!

For 'tis Death that holds thee at the reins

As the moon waxes and the moon wanes

Above that dread, insufferable choir

Of the all-devourer, all-denier!

Within the hushed groves of these plains,

'Tis King Death in his tyranny reigns.

That dread blasphemer; that cursed liar

Shall scorch the virgin flesh with fire!

For he be the night time breed that stains

Thy virtue; and his Death's glance slains

Thy body with a cauldron's kiss

In King Death's realm of the abyss'.

'Amusing' said Death, 'but you do me an injustice. It is not worthy of my magnificence'. And with a wave of Death's hand, the prince was reduced to burnt ashes, and the prince was no more than cloak and boots! Sudanenka remained still, yet inwardly, he raged!
'What wickedness I do', said Death. 'I walk with famine, I skip with plague and run with pestilence, and I make mushrooms of brains. And I laugh, and I do it all again!' And Death roared with laughter so much, he almost fell off his horse.
'What say you now old man?' questioned Death. 'Dare you sit before me and not recognise my power over all?'
Sudanenka clasped his small hands together and spoke:
'Only pity can I feel for you, for to walk in your shadow is to hate and destroy everything of worth'.
'Yes, and I do it so well!'
'Tell me,' said Sudanenka, 'what disease drives you?'
'The same that drives you old man: power!'
'A sordid word, made more sordid on such a vulgar tongue'.
'Ah, but you have wickedness in you also, old man, you just look the other way! Come and I shall show thee riches beyond thy dreams and beyond thy God's comprehension'. And Death held out a bony hand towards Sudanenka. 'Come! Come drink of the wine of the abyss!'

THE THREE ORDEALS

'What trinket poureth thou over fool?' screeched Death, his brow wrinkling into an infinite number of furrows. 'What wants thee with such a pyramid box?'
'It is nothing!' said Sudanenka.
'Sphinx!' shouted Death, snorting the air. 'Are ye so afraid of Death that thou must cling to some Holy relic? To some Saint's squat phallus in a box, I'll wager! Hath doubt been conjured in thy heart? Speak!'
'It is all and it is nothing!' replied Sudanenka.
'What intrigue is this? Thou hast bred curiosity in Death'.
But Sudanenka remained silent. And Death continued:
'Tell me: wouldst thou a deal with Death do?'
'I strike no bargain!'
'Not for thy salvation, fool?'
'I think nothing of perishing for my Lord'.
And Death laughed, causing the whole of the abyss to shake. 'This be no match for Death. I gain nothing either way by executing my lust; thou causeth not one leaf to fall, nor wind to stir, for thou art nothing in Death's tempest. Yet Death is sporting, even when the outcome is inevitable. Therefore do I set thee three ordeals. If thou shouldst fail, thou must walk freely into the palace of the abyss. If ye not fail, then let the abyss look on God's face and tremble! What sayest thou?'
'I have rejoiced in the palace of good and evil, and all are one to me, for I have no beginning and I have no end!'
'Then choose ye well from the middle!' said Death impatiently.
'I have chosen!' replied the holy man.
'Then let it be written: Thrice shall ye face Death's legion and thrice must ye triumph!' And Death was gone into the mist, upon his steed, cursing and blaspheming.
Many thousands of years were to come and go. And Sudanenka remained within the Holy shade of sorrow, for all truth is but darkness reflected upon the light of falsity. And for many hundreds of years did it rain and thunder, without cessation, and it was a black, poisonous rain, filled with corruption that fell. But Sudanenka felt it not, for he was protected in the sacred circle of the tree; the centre of his universe; the supreme extension of his Light which reaches unto all eternity and radiates unto all the worlds.

VII

THE BLIND MAN

The storm did cease, and light was once again at the hand of darkness. And there came a man upon the road, dressed in rags, for he had been travelling many centuries through the driving rain. He was not so very old, yet he was not so very young, and he walked with a limp and carried a staff. He was blind, and as he came upon Sudanenka, the holy man spoke:
'Sit ye down brother, for I can see thou art weary of the road; rest a while, thy journey is almost at an end'.
And the blind man sat beside Sudanenka, thanking him, for he had not heard the sound of another's voice in over eight-hundred years, and it was greatly welcomed. And so the blind man told Sudanenka of his travels upon the road and all the misfortunes that befell him and how every step was a tearing of his flesh.
'Then thou art of the Light?' questioned Sudanenka.
'The Light', said the blind man, 'has been my every thought upon the road; it has been my truth and my strength'.
The Light is the Light of Love', the holy man said, 'yet it is also the Light of Death. But there is fire, and in the flames lie purity!'
And the blind man put his hands to his face and wept. And tearfully, he sang:

Onimhaalooodhaaa, Bramhemnieuuuuu

Soltzamhanaaaartzaaa aa aa

Chandhoooo Chandhoooooo.

Heeliannndhooonieuuuuu

Ooramnoxcoph Seeliarhnooooo

Khooramnanbeher Archtair

Chandhoooo Chandhoooooo

Chaaaandhoooooo oooo ooo oooo.

Kohbaaa Denuda Seluda

Kohbaaa Aramatheelee Bodhihoood

Wasaarnaaah Sempulmatulaaah

Chandhoooo

Chandhoooooo.

Anasaieeaaah oo aaah ee aaah

Charieemzaaah niaah nieuuuuu...'

And sadness like a thick mist was drawn within the circle.
Sudanenka, being the living light of the tree, penetrated the mist and saw that each new fallen apple within the circle had become black and rotten. He looked, and he could see the light about the blind man's body, yet it was not the light, for it was as a shield of flames. In the centre of the circle, the fiery mass seemed to be gathering. Sudanenka reached for the pyramid box, taking a gold coin from it and handing it to the blind man, saying:
'What the left hand concealeth, the right hand revealeth!' and at its touch the blind man's skin fell from him in heaps of rotten flesh that stank of pestilence, for he was that of which it is unlawful to speak: the abomination of abominations, whose touch is death. And the blind man became as dust himself and was blown into the four corners of the abyss. And the circle was pure once again.

VIII

THE DREAM AND THE SANCTUARY

And the centuries passed as in some strange dream, recalled and repeated in the wakeful hours. And the wind howled and whipped the abyss into a torrent of curses, yet Sudanenka remained protected in the circle, beneath the tree. But, in a forgetful moment, all was cast out and a strange body of enormous strength had entered the holy man's sphere of thought; and it was Division, Addition, Subtraction and Multiplication in number. But being a perfection of equilibrium, the holy man raised not one thought against it. The numerical dweller was strong, yet the holy man's will was stronger! He was shown a dream of all things revealing vast wonders of falsity and truth, for he was shown the point of the line at the beginning, which is nought; and he was shown the point of the line at the end, which is two and infinity. And he was led into the vision beyond words.
He saw how the beginning, which is beyond birth, is the light of the angles of the cross (3), and he saw how the middle, which is beyond life, is the darkness of the sacred eye and the cross (4); and he saw how the end, which is beyond death, is the light of the circle and the cross (5). He saw himself as Being, and as Going, and as Returning, all in an infinitesimal particle of thought. And he cried out:
'The Light I receive gives sustenance, and the shell hath been pierced through by unclean hands, which hath partaken of the Light, which is Love and Death; and the vessel of blasphemy hath been devoured by Love!' And the vision ended. And the victor passed into a strange dreamless sleep upon the eve of the third ordeal.

THE DESIRE IN DARKNESS

On waking, Sudanenka found himself confronted by a beautiful woman, with large almond eyes and long black hair streaming over her naked body. And she was of savage strength; magnificent and proud. She moved in strange motions, as if she were part feline, shaping her form in never-ending angles of shameless desire, for she was the desire in darkness; the great adulteress of the abyss whose lusts are insatiable. And she spoke:

'I am the terror and the call within the heart of man,

And the transference of sorrow into joy by woman,

For I hath stained the holy cup of brute desire;

I hath defiled death with my breasts of fire.

I am the worldful whore and my scarlet kiss

Is the infernal blossom in the darkness.

For I am the core of sin that saps

In caressing the tomb... These purple paps

Hath long crusaded, for they ache with lust:

I hath turned the hearts of oaks to dust!

And the palace of my joy is found

Three-form, for I am bound

To take of flesh, for my flesh gives

To all that dies and all that lives!'

Sudanenka watched as she danced around the circle.
'Am I not desirable, master?' said the pale seductress, stroking Sudanenka's forehead.
'I am not of thy flesh, for thou art false: thou hast paraded virtue in the mud!' And the holy man closed his eyes. Her nakedness coiled about him, and she kissed him, yet he moved not. She whispered obscenity after obscenity in his ear, and yet he moved not. Then she opened her mouth and her sharp teeth glistened as she spoke in a tongue unfamiliar, yet known to Sudanenka. And she clasped her hands to his throat and writhed upon him as a serpent. Sudanenka reached for the pyramid box and thrust a coin into her mouth, and she turned many shades of the earth as her beautiful skin became old and ugly, hanging upon her in loose folds. Her screams of ecstasy and passion became the agonies of the damned; an abomination of filth and horror. And the ground opened up and swallowed her vile carcass.

THE CLOSING OF THE VEIL

And Death's laughter rang throughout the abyss as Sudanenka took the last remaining coin from the pyramid box, rolling it in his fingers and casting some enchantment over it. And he hurled it along the road, towards the gates of the palace. The coin grew in size and speed, doubling its diameter with each revolution until it grew far beyond the clouds in height. And it thundered into the palace, bringing down the stone walls of the damned, sealing its horror for evermore. And a radiant light shone forth over the abyss, and the air was silent of screams, and the trees did begin to blossom once more; and the birds dared once again, to open their beaks and sing!

Notes

1. Beyond Salvation Lies The Fool. (refers to The Tarot).
2. Camel: Ship of the Desert.
3. L.V.X. Light in Extension.
4. OT - The Egyptian Ankh, symbol of Life.
5. N.O.X. The Night of Pan in the City of the Pyramids.

THE CUP AND THE CROSS

Notes on the nature of SUDANENKA

The title The Cup and the Cross gives an explanation to the true meaning of the little tale of Sudanenka for they are the magical weapons associated with Mem; the element of water and ‘The Hanged Man’ in the Tarot. The name Sudanenka can be defined thus:
Sud is the secret eye, the intersecting ellipses that see beyond illusion. It is also known as the third eye, or the Ru = (), the oval between the eyes; this oval is also the origin of the Ankh which has the oval attached upon a cross (also note the similarity to the planetary sign of Venus, the planet of Love which has a circle with a cross at the bottom). The Ru can also be seen as a birth passage, a vagina, the kteis; a door and a mouth. Sud is also the anus of the goat which is ceremonially kissed during the Sabbath rites; the obsculum obscoenum – the obscene kiss!
Sud relates to the Ru, for the sud is the secret eye that looks from the far side of the zodiac, from Capricorn to its opposite sign of Cancer, governed by the moon; Sud is then the third eye, the all-seeing eye – as Ru is the portal between two worlds – the gateway – birth!

SUD= 60+6+4= 70 = the letter Ayin (o); XV The Devil in the Tarot and Eye in Hebrew which gives the number 70.

AN= 1+50= 51 = Pain. 1=O, the Fool in the Tarot. 50=XIII, Death in the Tarot.

EN= 5+50= 55 = Malkuth, the bride; (a mystic number).

KA= 20+1= 21 = Tiphereth, (a mystic number). The 21st Key of the Tarot = The Universe. Also the letter Tau, the Phallus in manifestation.

In total SUDANENKA gives us 197, of which we can extract 156= Babalon, and 41=AM, the unfertile Mother. [also 197-111=86 which is ALHIM]

THE OPENING OF THE VEIL

OOO

AIN SOPH AUR

The sun in the arms of the moon.

The Beast & Babalon.

The Mother cradling the Child.

Isis Rejoicing.

AIN SOPH

AIN

AIN=negative – the Yoni. 10 Sephira= positive (emanations of Unity) – the Lingam.
NUIT. The negative veils of existence.
The Limitless Light.
‘Man and tree were one’ =
Man=91 (also note AMN [Amen] =91).
Tree =91 (Tree in Hebrew is Aleph, Yod, Lamed, Nun =91).
One=Achad=Unity. One also =Aleph=Pentagram. (Aleph is also O. The Fool in the Tarot).

Also
M=Sacrifice. The Hanged Man in the Tarot=XII.
A=Folly. The Fool in the Tarot=O.
N=Death. Death in the tarot=XIII. XII+O+XIII=XXV (25) =5x5 The Pentagram in Action.

Also
Aleph Yod Lamed Nun = TREE (in Hebrew)
Fool Hermit Justice Death }= O+IX+VIII+XIII=XX (20).
Ox Hand Ox Goad Fish 20= IVD (Yod) The Letter of the Father. .....

Come unto me not as the lamb,
But come unto me as the wolf.

It is the voice of Nuit singing ‘To me! To me!’ not Hadit, for it is His nature to go!

‘My number is 11, as all their numbers who are of us. The Five Pointed Star, with a Circle in the Middle, and the circle is red. My colour is black to the blind, but the blue & gold are seen of the seeing. Also I have a secret glory for them that love me’. AL.I.60

‘But to love me is better than all things: if under the night-stars in the desert thou presently burnest mine incense before me, invoking me with a pure heart, and the Serpent flame therein, thou shalt come a little to lie in my bosom. For one kiss wilt thou then be willing to give all; but whoso gives one particle of dust shall lose all in that hour. Ye shall gather goods and store of women and spices; ye shall wear rich jewels; ye shall exceed the nations of the earth in splendour & pride; but always in the love of me, and so shall ye come to my joy. I charge you earnestly to come before me in a single robe, and covered with a rich headdress. I love you! I yearn to you! Pale or purple, veiled or voluptuous, I who am al pleasure and purple, and drunkenness of the innermost sense, desire you. Put on the wings, and arouse the coiled splendour within you: come unto me!’ AL.I.61

‘At all my meetings with you shall the priestess say – and her eyes shall burn with desire as she stands bare and rejoicing in my secret temple – To me! To me! calling forth the flame of the hearts of all in her love-chant’. AL.I.62

‘Sing the rapturous love-song unto me! Burn to me perfumes! Wear to me jewels! Drink to me, for I love you! I love you!’ AL.I.63

‘I am the blue-lidded daughter of Sunset; I am the naked brilliance of the voluptuous night-sky’. AL.I.64

‘To me! To me!’ AL.I.65

The wolf= Mars, 9, the war-like Ra-Hoor-Khuit (R-H-K): ‘As brothers fight ye’ [AL.III.59]. It is Horus in the aspect of R-H-K. Mouth =(scarlet red) Ruby, vengeance and wrath. Paths joining=7-8 Sephira. Weapon=Sword. Figure=Pentagram. XVI (16) in the Tarot=The Tower=War, the letter Pe (mouth).
Mars symbolises the coming of a New Aeon which is destructive by fire; a cosmic energy in its grossest form. And so Life and Death are the two forms of desire.

‘Invoke me under my stars! Love is the law, love under will. Nor let the fools mistake love; for there are love and love. There is the dove, and there is the serpent. Choose ye well! He, my prophet, hath chosen, knowing the law of the fortress, and the great mystery of the House of God’. AL.I.57

The lamb is the Agnus Deus, the lamb of God as taught in the old religion which was known as Christianity; it is the symbol of meekness and self-sacrifice; a powerful symbol of the ‘Dying God’, and of pity and forgiveness. In Thelemic terms it is the slave, the servant and the weak man of God punished for his sins; for his thoughts, words and actions and restricted in his every expression of love, and we are told therefore –

‘Be thou Hadit, my secret centre, my heart & my tongue!’ AL.I.6

We are taught to be brave and fierce as the wolf; to lurk and withdraw and to fight for our honour; to despise weakness and compassion and lift up our heads as we stride the world with the light of love burning in our breasts. ‘Obey my prophet! Follow out the ordeals of my knowledge! Seek me only! Then the joys of my love will redeem ye from all pain. This is so; I swear it by the vault of my body; by my sacred heart and tongue; by all I can give, by all I desire of ye all’. AL.I.32

‘I give unimaginable joys on earth: certainty, not faith, while in life, upon death; peace unutterable, rest, ecstasy; nor do I demand aught in sacrifice’. AL.I.58

‘Behold! the rituals of the old time are black. Let the evil ones be cast away; let the good ones be purged by the prophet! Then shall this Knowledge go aright’. AL.II.5

‘Beauty and strength, leaping laughter and delicious languor, force and fire, are of us’. AL.II.20

‘Behold! these be grave mysteries; for there are also of my friends who be hermits. Now think not to find them in the forest or on the mountain; but in beds of purple, caressed by magnificent beasts of women with large limbs, and fire and light in their eyes, and masses of flaming hair about them; there shall ye find them. Ye shall see them at rule, at victorious armies, at all the joys; and there shall be in them a joy a million times greater than this. Beware lest any force another, King against King! Love one another with burning hearts; on the low men trample in the fierce lust of your pride, in the day of your wrath’. AL.II.24

‘There is help & hope in other spells. Wisdom says: be strong! Then canst thou bear more joy. Be not animal; refine thy rapture! If thou drink, drink by the eight and ninety rules of art: if thou love, exceed by delicacy; and if thou do aught joyous, let there be subtlety therein!’ AL.II.70

‘But exceed! exceed!’ AL.II.71

‘Strive ever to more! And if thou art truly mine – and doubt it not, an if thou art ever joyous! – death is the crown of all’. AL.II.72

‘Ah! Ah! Death! Death! thou shalt long for death. Death is forbidden, o man, unto thee’. AL.II.73

‘The length of thy longing shall be the strength of its glory. He that lives long & desires death much is ever the King among the Kings’. AL.II.74

‘O be thou proud and mighty among men!’ AL.II.77

‘Lurk! Withdraw! Upon them! this is the Law of the Battle of Conquest: thus shall my worship be about my secret house’. AL.III.9

‘Fear not at all; fear neither men, nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything. Money fear not, nor laughter of the folk folly, nor any other power in heaven or upon the earth or under the earth. Nu is your refuge as Hadit your light; and I am the strength, force, vigour, of your arms’. AL.III.17

‘Mercy let be off: damn them who pity! Kill and torture; spare not; be upon them!’ AL.III.18

‘The ordeals thou shalt oversee thyself, save only the blind ones. Refuse none, but thou shalt know & destroy the traitors. I am Ra-Hoor-Khuit; and I am powerful to protect my servant. Success is thy proof: argue not; convert not; talk not overmuch! Them that seek to entrap thee, to overthrow thee, them attack without pity or quarter; & destroy them utterly. Swift as a trodden serpent turn and strike! Be thou yet deadlier than he! Drag down their souls to awful torment: laugh at their fear: spit upon them!’ AL.III.42

‘With my Hawk’s head I peck at the eyes of Jesus as he hangs upon the cross’. AL.III.51 ‘I flap my wings in the face of Mohammed & blind him’. AL.III.52

‘With my claws I tear at the flesh of the Indian and the Buddhist, Mongol and Din’. AL.III.53

‘Bahlasti! Ompehda! I spit on your crapulous creeds’. AL.III.54

‘Let Mary inviolate be torn upon wheels: for her sake let all chaste women be utterly despised among you!’ AL.III.55

‘Also for beauty’s sake and love’s!’ AL.III.56

‘Despise also all cowards; professional soldiers who dare not fight, but play: all fools despise!’ AL.III.57

‘But the keen and the proud, the royal and the lofty; ye are brothers!’ AL.III.58

‘As brothers fight ye!’ AL.III.59

‘There is no law beyond Do what thou wilt’. AL.III.60

‘Now, therefore, I am known to ye by my name Nuit, and to him by a secret name which I will give him when at last he knoweth me. Since I am Infinite Space, and the Infinite Stars thereof, do ye also thus. Bind nothing! Let there be no difference made among you between any one thing & any other thing; for thereby there cometh hurt’. AL.I.22

‘The unveiling of the company of heaven’. AL.I.2

‘Help me, o warrior lord of Thebes, in my unveiling before the Children of men!’ AL.I.5

‘The Khabs is in the Khu, not the Khu in the Khabs’. AL.I.8

‘Worship then the Khabs, and behold my light shed over you!’ AL.I.9

‘I am above you and in you. My ecstasy is in yours. My joy is to see your joy’. AL.I.13

‘With the God & the Adorer I am nothing: they do not see me. They are as upon the earth; I am Heaven, and there is no other God than me, and my lord Hadit’. AL.I.21

‘I am Nuit, and my word is six and fifty’. AL.I.24

‘Divide, add, multiply, and understand’. AL.I.25

…..

The chapters in relation to Thelemic Gods:

000 00 0.. Nuit.
1.. Hadit.
2..Chaos.
3.. Babalon.
4.. Hoor-Par-Kraat.
5.. Ra-Hoor-Khuit.
6.. Heru-Ra-Ha.
7.. The Scarlet Woman.
8.. Baphomet.
9.. Therion.
10. Ankh-Af-Na-Khonsu

THE PRINCE

This chapter relates to the sephira called Kether. The God is Hadit (R-H-K). In the Tarot we find The Magus I, The Priestess II and The Fool O. Its magickal grade is the Ipsissimus [10=1]. The planet is Pluto.
Kether is formless because it exists above Binah on the Tree of Life where form is created. Binah = Time, and Chokhmah = Form.
Kether is one degree removed from non-existence; it is without reaction and it does not conform to any criteria. It is the cause of manifestation but is not manifested. It exists above duality – all sephira are extensions of Kether and Kether is the source of all Magickal energy!

‘Come! All ye, and learn the secret that hath not yet been revealed. I, Hadit, am the compliment of Nu, my bride. I am not extended, and khabs is the name of my House’. AL.II.2

‘In the sphere I am everywhere the centre, as she, the circumference, is nowhere found’. AL.II.3

‘Yet she shall be known & I never’. AL.II.4

‘I am the flame that burns in every heart of man, and in the core of every star. I am Life, and the giver of Life, yet therefore is the knowledge of me the knowledge of death’. AL.II.6

‘I am the Magician and the Exorcist. I am the axle of the wheel, and the cube in the circle. “Come unto me” is a foolish word: for it is I that go’. AL.II.7

‘Remember all ye that existence is pure joy; that all the sorrows are but as shadows; they pass & are done; but there is that which remains’. AL.II.9

‘I am alone: there is no God where I am’. AL.II.23

‘I am the secret Serpent coiled about to spring: in my coiling there is joy. If I lift up my head, I and my Nuit are one. If I droop down mine head, and shoot forth venom, then is rapture of the earth, and I and the earth are one’. AL.II.26

‘Blue am I and gold in the light of my bride: but the red gleam is in my eyes; & my spangles are purple & green’. AL.II.50

‘Purple beyond purple: it is the light higher than eyesight’. AL.II.51

In conjunction with this chapter one is recommended to read ‘The Vision and the Voice’ by Aleister Crowley; aethyrs: 1,4,15,16 & 21 in particular.

‘Sea of woe’ – a reference to Binah.
Sudanenka – one who has attained – Ipsissimus. ‘No name’ – nemo.
‘Tree long been at my side’- The tree is the Holy Guardian Angel [H.G.A] ‘I see all’ – I see Nuit. ‘Seen with ears, heard with eyes; seen/ hears eternity’ – a reference to the Powers of the Sphinx, especially ‘silence’.
‘More than now’ – numerically we can find: NOW= 50=70=6 =126. 126= Darkness in Hebrew, also a widow. 1+2+6=9 [Yesod, the moon] 9=AVB – witchcraft, the false moon.
Other permutations include: 9x14=126, 7x18=126, 6x21=126, 3x42=126.

N=Scorpio and Death in the Tarot (XIII)
O=Capricorn and The Devil in the Tarot (XV)
W=Taurus and The Hierophant in the Tarot (V)

XIII+XV+V=XXXIII (33)
33= Sorrow in Hebrew, also to mourn.
3x3=9 (IX) The Hermit in the Tarot. Also see 9 above.
3x11=33, perhaps a reference to the deities of Liber Al vel Legis: Nuit, Hadit, R-H-K.

9 is also important in the publication of The Book of the Law, because nine months before the first publication was the outbreak of the Balkan War, which broke up the Near East.
Nine months before the second publication was the outbreak of the first World War, which broke up the West.
Nine months before the third publication was the outbreak of the Sino-Japanese War which broke up the Far East. Nine months before the fourth publication – 6.22 A.M. Dec 22 1937 e.v. – nine months before the betrayal which stripped Britain of the last rags of honour, prestige and security, and will break up civilization in the second World War.

‘the event will establish the Kingdom of the Crowned and Conquering Child over the whole earth, and all men shall bow to the Law, which is love under will’. Magick pp 112-113. 1922, published 1929.

Sanctuary/Restriction= Balance. ‘Egg of Reason’ –

‘There is a great danger in me; for who doth not understand these runes shall make a great miss. He shall fall down into the pit called Because, and there he shall perish with the dogs of Reason’. AL.II.27

Babe of the Abyss/H.P.K. The hard shell/soft yolk= equilibrium.
Thelemic doctrine= Fool, all is one (nought) = Aleph (comedy of Pan).
Triangle= the outer robe of concealment (woman) = Kteis/Yoni – Binah (Time) = Understanding!
Inner light= the inner robe of glory (man) = Phallus/Lingam.
All things are many= O=2, the Thelemic equation (tragedy of Pan) = Chokhma (Form) = Wisdom – Man.

‘If this be not aright; if ye confound the space marks, saying: They are one; or saying, They are many; if the ritual be not ever unto me: then expect the direful judgement of Ra Hoor Khuit!’ AL.I.52

Cross + = the cross surmounted by a triangle, which is the Hanged Man; the descent of Light in Darkness to redeem it.
2 figures= The Fool [O] and The Magus [I].
Fool: ‘Door shut in the House of Moons’= Yesod.
‘Thou art a jester’ – The magus to The Fool.
Love= Madness. (Fool) this also refers to the madness of Pan – see ‘The Hymn to Pan’.
‘Been here before sir?’ spoken by The Magus.
The Fool replies: ‘Aye, in merrier days, perhaps’ alluding to Kether and also the cycle of re-birth.
Apples - refer to the interference of the will.
Palace of Light= All matter is of Kether (Light).
Heart= Tiphereth.
Man, woman, child – Hadit, Nuit, Horus [Osiris, Isis, Horus].
Beast & Babalon= Therion/ Scarlet Woman.
Silence= Mystery. The inactive form of speech – see 1st aethyr in ‘The Vision and the Voice’. This chapter relates to Mercury in Alchemy which acts as a flux; its nature is bisexual – it is the spirit. In Hindu: Sattvas; in Hebrew: Aleph, its element is Air. The Prince lives in adoration of Sudanenka as found in ancient Greece!

SUDANENKA’S SONG

This chapter relates to MAN. The sephira is Chokhmah, which is wisdom. We are wholly masculine – the seed, the Lingham (Phallus) +. The Father of Thought! Here is contained all things which are possible yet not manifested (such as Sudanenka’s song which has yet to be born as it were). The God which rules this sephira is Chaos – Thoth (the Word). Chaos= the Dyad. Its element is Air and in alchemy it represents sulphur; the fiery male soul; in Hindu: Rajas, in Hebrew: Shin, its element is fire (Shin by shape equals a flame). Yod of Tetragrammaton (aspect of Nuit – unity) an Active and Positive force.

‘Twig’= Wand (club in Tarot) = Fire.

Birth words of a Magus – Wisdom (Chokhmah) beyond understanding (i.e. the song) Binah, the sephira below is ‘understanding’, so it actually is ‘beyond’.
Tarot= High Priestess or The Tower XVI (ejaculation).
Being and Not Being= CHAOS (Chokhmah) the conduit of energy from kether.
Hebrew letter= Gimel (camel), the Path of the Moon.
Planet= Neptune.
Grade= Magus 9=2. See also 6th Aethyr and Liber I B vel Magi.
Magickal Formula= CHAOS.
World= Atziluth (archetypal world)
Paths joining= The Fool O, The Empress III, The Hierophant V.

‘Poop’= 80+70+70+80= 300 = Khabs am Pekht (Light in Extension), also ‘Formation’ and ‘Separation’. 300= Letter Shin in Hebrew (tooth), triple flame by shape, symbolic of the Holy Spirit, Ruch Alhim= 300.
‘Poop poop’= 600= RED. The Star Ruby (precious stone of Chokhma). 600= Mem final (Mem= Water – this whole story is concerned with the Hebrew letter Mem).

‘and both were as stone’ – standing stone, the magical weapon relative to Chokhmah.
The ‘song’ is the ‘seeds’ yet to ‘flourish’ into perceivable ‘manifestation’.
Thoughts become Words!

III

THE PRINCE’S SONG

This chapter relates to that of WOMAN. The sephira is Binah (understanding), the wholly feminine – Yoni/Kteis (vagina): the egg O () The Goddess is Babalon (Isis). The element is Water and the Planet= Saturn. In Alchemy it is Salt, the passive female body. In Hindu: Tamar and in Hebrew: Mem (the three mother letters: water).

‘Heart’= cup or chalice in Tarot. It also refers to Tiphereth and Beauty.

Here, all things are possible and begin their development. ‘Chaos’ in Chokhmah possesses the ‘seed’, and ‘Babalon’ in Binah possesses the ‘egg’ and womb of existence.
‘Serpent’ and the ‘dove’ – (Kundalini; Ra-Hoor-Khuit; dove… symbolism found in OTO etc).
‘Snake’ –
‘Nor let the fools mistake love; for there are love and love. There is the dove, and there is the serpent. Choose ye well!’. AL.I.57

Given ‘Beauty’= Tiphereth O – (Heart) its number is 6, the mystic number of Binah.
‘Eyes’= Ayin (eye in Hebrew) 70.
‘Mouth’= Pe (mouth in Hebrew) 80.
‘Hand’= Daleth (Hebrew letter) The Empress in the Tarot, the Path joining Chokhmah and Binah. The Gate of the Supernals.
The letter of Venus – sexual symbolism= 4.
‘Camel’= (Hebrew letter Gimel meaning camel) 3. [3 is the mystic number of Chokhmah]. It is the Path that joins Kether and Tiphereth, the pathway through the Abyss.
Note: 70+80+6= 156 (Babalon) [5x31, and 26x6]. 6+70+80+10+4+3=170 (wand).
70+80+10+4+3= 164 (the Pillars).
Also 10+4+3= 17 & 80+10+4=94 (see 777).
‘water’= element of Binah – Mem.
‘Sand’ – earth. ‘Richer for the word’ – projected and made solid= a reference to Chokhmah and Binah polarities, the un-manifest beginning its manifestation – from ‘Chaos’ to ‘Order’.

‘A good one at that’= ‘One’, the value of Aleph, The Fool in the Tarot (0).
Also see ‘The Book of Lies’ by Aleister Crowley for other symbolism specific to ‘that’.
8=3 Magister Templi.
Paths joining= Magus I, Empress III, Lovers VI, Chariot VII.
World= Briah (creative world).
Magical Formula= M.E.R.C.U.R.I.U.S and Babalon. In conjunction read The Vision and the Voice aethyrs 2, 13, and 14. Also Liber VII (Lapiz Lazuli) especially chapter II.

THE QUESTING BEAST

The sephira of this chapter is Chesed (mercy). Its God is Hoor-Par-Kraat (God of silence). Silence equates with Love in Magick.
The element is Water and the Planet is Jupiter.

The beginning explains the nature of Daath – ‘The Abyss’ (babe of the abyss) see 10th aethyr. The relative Planet is Uranus.
Magical Formula= N.O.X and T.A.R.O
‘Beast’= Cheva [ChIVA]: AChIHA [the beast] 666, in full:
A=111+Ch=418+I=20+H=6+A=111=666. A=111 (x6= number of the sun – 666) also Beast of the Abyss= Choronzon (Dispersion) [see The Vision and the Voice].
Prince (unobserved) = sign of silence. H.P.K. Passive.
Sudanenka (observed) = sign of Horus (enterer). R.H.K. Active.

‘One God, fear of nought’ –

‘Then the priest answered & said unto the Queen of Space, kissing her lovely brows, and the dew of her light bathing his whole body in a sweet-smelling perfume of sweat: O Nuit, continuous one of Heaven, let it be ever thus; that men speak not of Thee as One but as None; and let them speak not of thee at all, since thou art continuous!’ AL.I.27

Also ‘nought’ of the Tarot= The Fool, also Ox (one).
‘Existence is nothing’ –

‘Nothing s a secret key of this law. Sixty-one the Jews call it; I call it eight, eighty, four hundred and eighteen’. AL.I.46

‘Eight legs’= change in stability.
The Father degraded to animal reason. Intellect. ‘Holy Trinity/evil Dyad’. 333= the number of Choronzon. Does ‘nought’, move ‘all’ in ‘nought’. [All= 61 – the negative, non-existence; not] also AL= 31 (The great number in Thelema, see Liber Al vel Legis).
Ends in ‘silence’= Hoor-Par-Kraat (H.P.K)
Sudanenka displays virtues relevant to Chesed – ‘mercy’ towards the beast.
Silence and Speech – The passive and active forms of Horus [Heru-Ra-Ha] –H.P.K & R.H.K – ‘Love’ and ‘Will’.
Grade= Exempt Afept 7=4.
In conjunction with this read Liber VII, chapter III and Liber CLVI.

V
KING DEATH

In this chapter the sephira is Geburah (Power). Its God is Ra-Hoor-Khuit, equilibrated with Chesed (H.P.K.) – R.H.K.= Will [H.P.K.= Love], both guard the gates of the Abyss – R.H.K. (serpent/kundalini). In Alchemy it is the sun and its planet is Mars.
The Magical Grade is Adeptus Major 6=5.
The Magical formula= S.U.L.P.H.U.R. and ABRAHADABRA.
Paths joining= Lust XI, Chariot VII, Hanged Man XII, Adjustment VIII.

‘This is not Being for this is Going’ –

‘I am the Magician and the Exorcist. I am the axle of the wheel, and the cube in the circle. “Come unto me” is a foolish word: for it is I that go’. A.L.II.7

‘Who worshipped Heru-pa-kraath have worshipped me; ill, for I am the worshipper’. A.L.II.8

Also see the Bornless Ritual: Thee I invoke, the Bornless one.
Thee, that didst create the Earth and the Heavens:
Thee, that didst create the Night and the Day.

………………………………………………..

I am He! the Bornless Spirit! having sight in the feet:
Strong, and the Immortal Fire!
I am He! the Truth!
I am He! who hate that evil should be wrought in the
World! ………………………………………………..

I am He; the Grace of the World:
“The Heart Girt with a Serpent” is My Name!

Also the Ankh is a symbol of ‘Going’ ( a sandal strap).

King Death is a Martial God of War and Death, also of Destruction.
‘Power’ – Geburah.
In conjunction read Liber VII, chapter I.

THREE ORDEALS

The sephira in this chapter is Tiphereth (Beauty) a product of the union of Chaos (Chokhmah) with Babalon (Binah)= Balance. The God is Heru-Ra-Ha, the embodiment of the Holy Guardian Angel [H.G.A.], an aspect of Horus (as is R.H.K. & H.P.K.)
Its Planet is the sun [the Knowledge and Conversation of the H.G.A.]
The Magical grade is Adeptus Minor 5=6 and the Magical formulas are A.U.R.U.M. & L.U.X. & I.N.R.I.
Paths joining= Priestess II, StarXVII, Lovers VI, Hermit IX, Adjustment VIII, Art XIV, Death XIII, Devil XV.

Pyramid box= cube= Magical weapon of Tiphereth. Tiphereth is the home of the sacrificial Gods.
‘ALL’, ‘NOTHING’. Death attempts to lure Sudanenka from the path.
‘Palace’ – ‘good/evil’. All=one. No beginning, no end.
Holy shade of the tree [Tree= H.G.A.] Extension of Light= L.V.X. The tree also represents ‘crucifixion’ and the ‘Hanged Man’.
‘Unto all the worlds’= Assiah, Yetzirah, Briah, Chiah & Jechidah.
In conjunction with this see The Vision and the Voice, Aethyrs 15 & 18. Also Liber VII, chapter IV and Liber LXV.

VII

BLIND MAN

The chapter of the Blind Man is Netzach (Victory), emotion (Lust). The Goddess is the Scarlet Woman – strength & lust.
The element is Fire and the Planet is Venus.
The Magical grade is Philosophus 4=7 and the Paths joining are Fortune X, Death XIII, Tower XVI, Emperor IV, Moon XVIII.
The Blind Man is the Scarlet Woman, an aspect of Babalon, the Dark Mother (of Binah).
‘has not two eyes’= IxI = II The Priestess in the Tarot.
II The Priestess (Gimel/Camel)= Moon reference. Feminine symbol, connecting the Father (Hadit/Kether) to the Son (Horus/Tiphereth). She is clothed in luminous veils of Light.

Death – (path of Death XIII) distorts Her beauty so that she appears as a Blind, frail, old Man. The notion of the ‘Blind Man’ is also associated with the ‘Old Aeon’ – (see the Vision and the Voice, Aethyr 30).

‘Pity not the fallen! I never knew them. I am not for them. I console not: I hate the consoled & the consoler’. A.L.II.48

Gold coin= The Root of the Power of Earth.
Coin= Pantacle. Circle is pure – the Scarlet Woman’s Light redeems.
Death XIII (XIII=13= Love, Unity).

‘Now let there be a veiling of this shrine: now let the light devour men and eat them up with blindness!’ A.L.II.14

‘These are dead, these fellows; they feel not. We are not for the poor and sad: the lords of the earth are our kinsfolk’. A.L.II.18

‘Beauty and strength, leaping laughter and delicious languor, force and fire, are of us’. A.L.II.20

‘We have nothing with the outcast and the unfit: let them die in their misery. For they feel not. Compassion is the vice of kings: stamp down the wretched & the weak: this is the law of the strong: this is our law and the joy of the world. Think not, O king, upon that lie: That Thou Must Die: verily thou shalt not die, but live. Now let it be understood: If the body of the king dissolve, he shall remain in pure ecstasy for ever. Nuit! Hadit! Ra-Hoor-Khuit! The Sun. Strength and Sight, Light; these are for the servants of the Star & the Snake’. A.L.II.21

‘I am unique & conqueror. I am not of the slaves that perish. Be they damned & dead! Amen’. A.L.II.49

‘Fear not, O prophet, when these words are said, thou shalt not be sorry. Thou art emphatically my chosen; and blessed are the eyes that thou shalt look upon with gladness. But I will hide thee in a mask of sorrow: they that see thee shall fear thou art fallen: but I lift thee up’. A.L.II.53

‘There is a veil: that veil is black. It is the veil of the modest woman; it is the veil of sorrow, & the pall of death: this is none of me. Tear down that lying spectre of the centuries: veil not your vices in virtuous words: these vices are my service; ye do well, & I will reward you here and hereafter’. A.L.II.52

‘Beware therefore! Love all, lest perchance is a King concealed! Say you so? Fool! If he be a King thou canst not hurt him’. A.L.II.59

‘Therefore strike hard & low, and to hell with them, master!’ A.L.II.60

‘Mercy let be off: damn them who pity! Kill and torture; spare not; be upon them!’ A.L.III.18

‘The ordeals thou shalt oversee thyself, save only the blind ones. Refuse none, but thou shalt know & destroy the traitors. I am Ra-Hoor-Khuit; and I am powerful to protect my servant. Success is thy proof: argue not; convert not; talk not overmuch! Them that seek to entrap thee, to overthrow thee, them attack without pity or quarter; & destroy them utterly. Swift as a trodden serpent turn and strike! Be thou yet deadlier than he! Drag down their souls to awful torment: laugh at their fear: spit upon them!’ A.L.III.42

‘Let the Scarlet Woman beware! If pity and compassion and tenderness visit her heart; if she leave my work to toy with old sweetnesses; then shall my vengeance be known. I will slay me her child: I will alienate her heart: I will cast her out from men: as a shrinking and despised harlot shall she crawl through the dusk wet streets, and die cold and an-hungered’. A.L.III.43

‘But let her raise herself in pride! Let her follow me in my way! Let her work the work of wickedness! Let her kill her heart! Let her be loud and adulterous! Let her be covered with jewels, and rich garments, and let her be shameless before all men!’ A.L.III.44

‘Then will I lift her to pinnacles of power: then will I breed from her a child mightier than all the kings of the earth. I will fill her with joy: with my force shall she see & strike at the worship of Nu: she shall achieve Hadit’. A.L.III.45

In conjunction with this read the Vision and the Voice, Aethyr 30 and Liber VII, chapter VII.

VIII

DREAM & SANCTUARY

Hod is the sephira in this chapter which is Intellect, Glory & Honour.
The God is Baphomet and the element Water; the Planet is Mercury and the Magical grade is Practicus 3=8.
Paths joining are Tower XVI, Sun XIX, Hanged man XII, Devil XV, Aeon XX.
‘Division, addition, subtraction, multiply’ – (intellect):

‘Divide, add, multiply, and understand’. A.L.I.25

‘Point of line at beginning’= nought. ‘Point of line at end’= 2 and infinity.

‘Then the priest answered & said unto the Queen of Space, kissing her lovely brows, and the dew of her light bathing his whole body in a sweet-smelling perfume of sweat: O Nuit, continuous one of Heaven, let it be ever thus; that men speak not of Thee as One but as None; and let them speak not of thee at all, since thou art continuous!’ A.L.I.27

‘None, breathed the light, faint and faery, of the stars, and two. A.L.I.28

‘For I am divided for love’s sake, for the chance of union’. A.L.I.29

‘This is the creation of the world, that the pain of division is as nothing, and the joy of dissolution all’. A.L.I.30

Vision beyond words – ‘Beginning’= beyond birth; the Light of the angles of a Cross= L.V.X.
‘Middle’= beyond life; the Darkness of the Sacred Eye and the Cross= 0T=T Ankh.
‘End’= beyond death; the Light of the Circle and the Cross= N.O.X.
Being – Going- Returning= The formula of I.A.O. (also A.U.G.M.N.) see Magick in Theory and Practice by Aleister Crowley. Baphomet= Union of opposites.
Devil in Tarot= Androgony/bisexuality.
Hod, reflection of Binah, filtered through Chesed, (all Water elements) balanced between Hod and Netzach (Intellect/Emotion or Science/Art).
In conjunction read the Paris Working – ‘De Mercurio’ and Liber VII, chapter V, also the Vision and the Voice, Aethyr 30.

DESIRE IN DARKNESS

The sephira in relation to this chapter is Yesod (the moon). The God is Therion (Beast) and the Magical grade is Zelator 2=9. The Paths joining are Art XIV, Emperor IV, Sun XIX, Universe XXI.
She is Babalon, the Scarlet Woman, the concubine of the Beast (Therion). Death has impressed the vision of Her upon Sudanenka, and distorted Her.

Moved ‘not’= Nuit. Tongue unfamiliar= the language of the moon (see the invocation of the infernal adorations of Oai in Liber LXVI Stellae Rubeae).
Serpent. 2nd Coin (pantacle) – mouth (Pe).
Old and ugly – witchcraft, the old crone, the sterile, dark mother; in the Tarot XVIII the Moon – ‘Vision of Sorrow’.
AMA (no Yod/Phallus, so is not AIMA) see Magick. She is an aspect of Binah –

‘Now ye shall know that the chosen priest & apostle of infinite space is the prince-priest the Beast; and in his woman called the Scarlet Woman is all power given. They shall gather my children into their fold: they shall bring the glory of the stars into the hearts of men’. A.L.I.15

‘For he is ever a sun, and she a moon. But to him is the winged secret flame, and to her the stooping starlight’. A.L.I.16

In conjunction with this read the Vision and the Voice, Aethyrs 11 and 15. Also Liber VII, chapter VI.

CLOSING OF THE VEIL

Malkuth is the sephira in this chapter and the God is Ankh-Af-Na-Khonsu. The Planet is Earth (Assiah, the material world) and the Magical grade is Neophyte 1=10.
Paths joining are Aeon XX, Universe XXI, Moon XVIII.

I am come Into this darkness to attain the light:
To gain my voice I make myself as dumb:
That I may see I close my outer sight:
So, I am here. My brows are bent in
prayer;
I kneel already in the Gates of dawn;
And I am come, albeit unaware,
To the deep sanctuary: my hope is drawn
From wells profounder than the very sea.
Yea, I am come, where least I guessed it so,
Into the very Presence of the Three
That Are beyond all Gods. And now I know
What spiritual Light is drawing me
Up to its stooping splendour. I my soul
I feel the Spring, the all-devouring Dawn,
Rush with my Rising. There, beyond the
goal,
The Veil is rent!
Yes: let the veil be drawn.

[Collected Works of Aleister Crowley vol I. 1905. III The Holy Place – ‘The Neophyte’ from The Temple of the Holy Ghost.]

In conjunction with this read the Vision and the Voice, Aethyrs 9 and 15.

AT WASDALE

Sparking at moonlight, I tender tread

Through distant avenues of the dead!

This, my crag-root of desire;

My devil dance of destiny!

Here, shall I awaken and solemnly wear

This woven robe of landscape and devour

The mossy saga and the pagan energy

Where Diana, in strained Lancastrian

Unfolds her fruit and reclines, again.

Hinged by nook and boulder, blown

By an endless goblin-cloaked darkness –

England’s wild, wet shaggy beard...

My mind wandered into cosmology;

Into a memory once that you were here;

Here, my hermaphrodite, my Mercury!

Manifest! Move! Awake!

Amidst the untold horrors –

The veiled threshold; the secret door

Into the ‘House of Ra and Tum,

Of Kephra and of Ahathoor...’

And so in silence I surrendered

And worshiped the elements that haunts

This bog-crusted splendour,

‘While o’er the shrinking dale

The insatiable gale

Roars with unconquered and impassive might.’*

A figure appears in the gloom, the salt

Of your body came through –

Hail, Priest of the Phallus; my Prometheus;

Warrior of Priapic tempests, stirred

By this intimacy of darkness, dealt

By strange seduction and words sublime

That echoes through my heart’s decline...

A mad moon lies over Wastwater,

Scafell, Lingmell and Great End;

Lightbeams are descending Great Gable

To the wild roar of enchantment, I find

Magic remains – Your scent is here!

Knuckled into crevice, the physical realm

Yields to the spirit of the mountain again!

‘Clad in sparse robes of white

The mountain beckons Night.’*

Sleeping beneath the white-shrouded summit,

The little tent dreams death away,

Beyond the moon-rush of insanity

In a widdershins spiral kiss of Thoth;

Your commanding voice, like music

Where flowers forever bend dream-wards

By ceaseless wind and star!

But morning brought clarity, and the view

Of sister peaks, peering down

Into the little valley, immersed and steeped

In spellcraft, sensuality and you!

My God, how I breathe in your essence;

How I secrete myself to your portal flame!

And I whispered:

I am following your footsteps, knowing

The pathways of your thoughts, again!

Ascending the Pike a veil of mist

Swirls as incense on a sacred altar –

Odoriferous offerings to summon the dead

Whose features burst upon the senses

Like nakedness to the eye of adolescence.

We picked our way amongst the cairns that

Lie like scabs on an old man’s back:

There is no forgiveness here, I thought,

Only nature, drained from the mundane –

You are near! You are near!

And impurities are purged by a sacred flame.

Mountain God, feel this anger

Forged by fear! Know this insatiable ache;

This despair! Know my naked soul – Appear!

And by equal measure of wind and muscle

We reach the summit, charged by something

Beyond the circumference of what we are;

A magic and Light, known and Divine –

You are here! You are here!

O Prophet of the Lovely Star!

Consume me – on the mountain shrine

Of this old ecstasy – Magus mine!

Barry Van-Asten

*A Spring Snowstorm in Wastdale, from ‘Songs of the Spirit’ by Aleister Crowley. 1898. [see the Collected Works volume I]

THE KISS

by Mary d’Liverus

Lady, let me taste thy ______;

Let me rest there, triumphant!

Let me sip the soup of wilderness

That flowers voluptuous beneath thy dress.

And there, with lips aflame, I’ll go

And part those sweet-scented lips below,

Where lust hungers and desires a kiss

From nether-worlds, the glory of thy _____!

O joy to me – what name is this

Dark craving of my sorrow? No less

Than man before an altar of madness

That tears his heart out with a kiss!

Lady, let me taste thy ______;

Let me rest there, triumphant!

Let me sip the soup of wilderness

That bubbles beyond thy scope of dress!

THE WAND OF SILENCE

Excerpts from the Magickal Diaries

OF AUDRAREP

PART FIVE

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law

Begun Midnight, Saturday 3rd December 1994 e.v.

And ending midnight, Saturday 24th December 1994 e.v.

WORD THOUGHT ACTION

I have not said the dreaded word yet, but then I have not spoken much!

Sunday 3rd December. LBR. It appears I am unable (almost) to say the forbidden word, for it is constantly on my mind – the sore throat I have seems to act as a reminder and I am unable to swallow. Magick – Formula of Tetragrammaton 5.00-8.15 p.m.

In my duty – a high vigilance

Shall let nay, proceed;

That dreaded word, by chance

If uttered: see him bleed!

I am almost afraid to speak for fear of the punishment. After every sentence spoken I naturally go through what has been said in search of the damned ‘word’, even in writing etc. The small verse above, originally suggested ‘and high vigilance’, but as my hand wrote the lines, although ‘and’ was in my mind – ‘a high vigilance’ is what my hand wrote.
9.50 p.m. word spoken. Punishment [arm].
10.00 p.m. word spoken. Punishment [Stomach].
Monday 5th December. LBR. 12.45 a.m. word spoken. Punishment. Again at 12.58 a.m. [word spoken twice]. Punished twice.
01.52. a.m. The wretch bore his soul in tears. I had done well until 09.50 p.m. earlier – I was desperately afraid of the punishment! Crowley was cremated on this day in 1947. My throat is still sore. Reading Magick – Tetragrammaton. No word all day apart from those before bed after midnight!
Tuesday 6th December. LBR. 01.15 a.m. said the dreaded word. Punishment [right hip].
02.40 a.m. Mantra: A.M.P.H.
1.00 p.m. word spoken. Punishment [stomach].
9.45 p.m. possibly said the word, unsure, punished myself anyway [chest].
Wednesday 7th December. LBR. 02.00 a.m. Mantra: A.M.P.H. (active form) – 02.10 a.m. then 02.10-02.15 a.m. (passive form). No word all day!
Thursday 8th December. LBR. No word all day!
Friday 9th December. LBR. 02.20 a.m. I felt so close, as if I had singled the thought out and contained it, and then made it into an object! No word all day!
Saturday 10th December. LBR. 02.00 a.m. formula: Abra Had Abra –
Ab the Father (Hadit)
Ra (Solar)
Aleph= key letter
(Abraxas – Ab Ra)
Babalon - AL

Pre 1904:
I.A.O
AUM

Post 1904:
VIAOV [FIAOF]
AUMGN

No word all day! Thinking about the second week of Jugorum. Midnight: the first week [word] of Jugorum has ended and the second week [thought] begins. I will refrain from thinking of a person known to me. I will use the mantra: A.M.P.H. (or Tatwa) and the sign of the Enterer with H.P.K., to banish the forbidden person from my consciousness.

Results for week one – ‘word’.

Sun             Mon           Tue           Wed   Thursday     Fri   Sat

9.50 p.m.    12.45 a.m. 1.00 p.m.
10.00 p.m. 12.58 a.m.    9.45 p.m.
12.58 a.m.

II                  IV              II              O           O             O       O

Total= 8.

Sunday 11th December. LBR. 02.00 a.m. I had to resort to the mantra: A.M.P.H. a few time to rid a certain forbidden person from my consciousness, which was successful. Punishment will result if I fail to banish. Astral in the scarlet robe. I continued with ‘breaks’.
Monday 12th December. LBR. 02.47 a.m. As soon as the forbidden enters it is banished automatically on remembering my oath, followed by the LBR and the mantra: A.M.P.H.

Concerning Jugorum and my Oath:

I Word                        II Thought                     III Action

Ra-Hoor_Khuit          Hoor-Par-Kraat             = Manifestation
Nuit

= Speech                       = Silence

(Active)                          (Passive)
                 Heru-Ra-Ha
                    Horus
                                                                  AGAPE – LOVE= 93
                                                                THELEMA – WILL= 93
                                                                      Love under will

Nuit – Isis (Nu) female                   La – Not (31) AL – The/God (31)
Hadit – Osiris (Had) Male               ShT (31) Fire (Sh) Force (T)
R.H.K. – Horus (H.R.H.)                      =LAShTAL= 93
2 sexes in one.

I – The Void              II – The Pyramid             III – The Summit

The Circle                   The Triangle                Triangle point on the
                                                                               Circle axis
G.D.                                  S.S.                                    A.A.

                 Dominus                        Babe of              Mount
                  Liminus                       the Abyss           Abiegni
                                                   [death/ Daath]

              = Initiation                                                 Resurrection
                                                                                     GOD

   I [ISIS]                  A [APOPHIS]                      O (OSIRIS)

Tuesday 13th December. LBR. 02.00 a.m. Enter the Temple. Purification [Water], Consecration [Fire]. Invocation of Air Pentagram. Astral rising on the planes. The edge of the torn veil. The Pentagram became an adept, glowing white with arms stretched out as in the Tau (cross). End at 02.30 a.m. Breaks continue.
11.40 p.m. (a) ‘In the beginning was the word’ – The Gospel according to St John.
(b) Thought – contemplation (silence): the wilderness, temptation to stray etc.
(c) ‘word made flesh’ – Action (matter): Man.

Wednesday 14th December. LBR. I attempted to fix the sun and the moon conjoined in my Ajna but was unable to pin it down!

Thought:                                 Word:                                Action:
Unicorn                                    Horse                                  Ox
Parzival                               Harpocrates                       Bacchus
La – not ‘being’             AL – The/God Set           [Sh/Fire – T/Force]
Ain                                          ‘being’
31                                               31                            31 =93 AGAPE
Nought of thought              LAShTAL                        THELEMA
                                                                                     LAShTAL

Thursday 15th December. LBR. 01.50 a.m. I formulated my will into an apparatus and thrust it to the quarters. Thought has been quite strange; the first two to three days were not difficult but ‘manifest’ and banishing worked successfully. The following days have been empty of the forbidden thought and so no punishment has been necessary. Also I have noticed since taking the grade of Neophyte I have lost all forms of good luck. I used to be considered a ‘lucky’ person and successful with games of ‘chance’ but now, not at all. As if the ‘lust of result’ is to be avoided and has become instinctive, whether I like it or not!
Friday 16th December. LBR. Thought – very bad and had to punish [left arm].

VOID                   PYRAMID                      SUMMIT
(Negative)               Binah                        Kether (Abiegni)
Ain

Saturday 17th December. LBR. 01.45 a.m. Dharana on tip of nose. Successful. Solar Current xvii days. The Book of Lies. Midnight: Thought ends and third week of Jugorum [Action] begins. I will refrain from crossing my legs.
Sunday 18th December. LBR.
12.50 p.m. Punished [stomach].
1.10 p.m. Punished [hip].
1.15 p.m. Punished [left arm] It will be a difficult week!
4.30 p.m. Punished [stomach]

FABRIC= The Son is a Fool to Juggle with the Sun on his Secret chariot!

The Oath fills my mind, yet:
Monday 19th December. LBR.
12.13 a.m. Punished [left arm].
4.35 p.m. Punished [left arm].
Tuesday 20th December. LBR.
12.35 a.m. Punished [left arm].
12.40 a.m. Punished [stomach].
12.45 Punished [left arm].
7.15 p.m. Punished [left arm].
Wednesday 21st December. LBR. Winter Solstice.
12.45 a.m. Punished [stomach].
7.35 p.m. Punished [right arm].
Thursday 22nd December. LBR.
12.40 a.m. Punished [stomach].
3.07 p.m. Almost did forbidden action but remembered my oath.
End of recorded breaks (see table of results). Solar Current xxii days.
Friday 23rd December. LBR. No Punishment today.
Saturday 24th December. LBR. The end of the oath concerning Liber Jugorum. No Punishment today.

Results for third week (Action):

Sun        Mon        Tue        Wed        Thursday       Fri       Sat
4              1             4              2              1             O        O

Total= 12.

Sunday 25th December. LBR. A disturbing day! Full of doubts.
Monday 26th December. LBR. Solar Current xxvi days.
Wednesday 28th December. LBR. 02.10 a.m. I entered the Temple robed in scarlet. Pentagram in astral body with rising on the planes. Mantra: A.M.P.H. Used the God-form of H.P.K.
Friday 30th December. LBR. 01.55 a.m. The brute summoned tears at the thought of the forbidden person. Sore throat still bad.
Saturday 31st December. LBR. I saw a black panther rising from the mud and its phallus was extended, like a shiny worm.
8.05 p.m. Hell was let loose! No sense of time – the ‘wanderer in the waste!’ I was found and returned sometime after midnight!

Sunday 1st January 1995. LBR. Feeling very ill today. Emotionally bad. I immersed myself in painting.
Tuesday 3rd January. LBR. Still very ill. I had to rise at 05.30 a.m. and the temperature was minus three degrees. Solar Current xxxiv days.
Friday 6th January. LBR. I hurt my arm. I seem to be physically destroyed.
Saturday 7th January. LBR. I attempted asana and Chakras at 02.10 a.m.
Tuesday 10th January. LBR. My arm is still very painful. I attempted astral with mantra: A.M.P.H. – I am wasting my time! It is too soon!
Saturday 14th January. LBR. 10.00 a.m. Eucharistos.
Friday 20th January. LBR. This dry period is passing and a fire is beginning to glow!
Saturday 21st January. LBR. 02.15 a.m. mantra: A.M.P.H. and Dharana on R.C. [Rosy Cross].
Sunday 22nd January. LBR. Astral form quite good.
Thursday 26th January. LBR. 5.15 p.m. Eucharistos.
Saturday 4th February. LBR. 07.50 a.m. Eucharistos.
Wednesday 8th February. LBR. Rise 05.55 a.m. I had to go to hospital for surgery. Later Hell broke loose again! I do not perform the LBR after this date as I am physically too weak and unable to walk. I immerse myself in Shakespeare.
Tuesday 14th February. LBR begin again but not daily. Emotionally bad.
Thursday 23rd February. LBR.

Churchyard lying all agape:

Have you room to hide my shape!

Friday 24th February. LBR now begins daily. 6.30 p.m. Eucharistos.
Wednesday 1st March. LBR. I received a direct sign concerning the Great Work in the form of Crowley’s Tarot: Thoth!
Thursday 2nd March. LBR. 02.12 a.m. Astral form. Mantra: THERION (very good).
Friday 3rd March. LBR. 09.10 a.m. ‘The Celebration’. 09.55 a.m. Eucharistos. The beginning of the end in Magick – the Vision concerning the ‘Queen of the East’ (as received on Sunday 16th October 1994) is born! LBR continues, unenthusiastically until Friday 19th March and performed for the last time on Saturday 20th March at 02.15 a.m. and the Great Work is abandoned on that day!
Monday 6th March. 08.00 a.m. Fabric – ‘Terrifying!’ There was sunlight and the curtains slowly closed by their selves and all was darkness! I leant over to open them and I was seized around the neck by some ‘entity’. I was paralysed, no limbs or any muscle could I move! Only my brain still functioned. It was difficult to breathe and I declared: ‘If it is thy will, take me!’ I am but a miniscule speck in the cosmos – perhaps this is the elusive Samadhi? I came back to the physical to find myself actually attempting to choke myself with my hands around my neck! A very frightening experience!
Tuesday 14th March. LBR. 09.35 a.m. Eucharistos. All is forsaken!
Thursday 23rd March. 07.55 Eucharistos. An attempt at reviving my flagging interest. LBR done early in mornings in the astral form but enthusiasm is lacking.
Friday 7th April. 11.25 a.m. Eucharistos. LBR etc.
Saturday 8th April. Liber Legis part I.
Sunday 9th April. Liber Legis part II.
Monday 10th April. Liber Legis part III.
Tuesday 11th April. Fabric vision again, the same as Monday 6th March, frightening but without physical choking. LVX very strong. I saw an old woman opening a door to a courtyard.
Friday 14th April. Confused! Tearful! Emotionally bad! Torn by love and the O=O. LBR continues daily in the astral form.
Saturday 15th April. Magick has been almost completely removed from me, and I feel no loss! It is as if something has presented itself to me in the form of a person [Queen of the East] and those ‘secret chiefs’ have decided I am to experience more of the world before I can continue with the Great Work. I took my mind from it and on Tuesday 18th April I threw myself into learning to play the piano and learning Russian!
Thursday 20th April 1995 e.v. LBR performed for the last time at 02.15 a.m. and the Great Work is abandoned! (1)

Table of Results in Breaks*

Date         Time Begin     Subject     Time End     Duration     Breaks

26.11.94   08.25 a.m.        Prithivi   08.35 a.m. 10 mins              8
                                          Tatwa
27.11.94   08.10 a.m.        Akasa     08.25 a.m. 10 mins              7
                                          Tatwa
29.11.94   08.00 a.m.         R.C.       08.10 a.m. 10 mins              5
01.12.94   08.25 a.m.        Teja        08.35 a.m. 10 mins              7
                                         Tatwa
02.12.94   08.10 a.m.        Apas       08.20 a.m. 10 mins               5
                                        Tatwa
03.12.94 08.00 a.m.        Vayu      08.10 a.m. 10 mins                5
                                        Tatwa
04.12.94 08.15 a.m.        R.C.       08.25 a.m. 10 mins                6
06.12.94 08.40 a.m.      Prithivi    08.50 a.m. 10 mins                6
                                        Tatwa
09.12.94 08.43 a.m.        R.C.       08.58 a.m. 15 mins                5
11.12.94   08.53 a.m.       Star         09.00 a.m. 7 mins                  5
13.12.94 08.45 a.m.      Air of       08.57 a.m. 12 mins                1
                                        Earth
14.12.94 08.30 a.m.     Ether of    08.40 a.m. 10 mins                2
                                         Fire
15.12.94 08.15 a.m. Sun/Moon 08.25 a.m. 10 mins                4
                                     Conjoined
16.12.94 08.00 a.m.     Water of    08.10 a.m. 10 mins                6
                                          Earth
17.12.94   08.00 a.m.      Fire of       08.07 a.m. 7 mins                  2
                                           Air
22.12.94   08.05 a.m.      Pistons       08.15 a.m. 10 mins               5

*A ‘Break’ is a wandering of thought during meditation, especially when the mind is locked upon some chosen symbol or image [Dharana].

Note:
1. It was later discovered that there was an imbalance within my nature and I was not allowed to proceed further with the Great Work until this was addressed. And so the decision was made for me. I was presented with the reality of my vision concerning ‘the Queen of the East’ and I embraced the notion of romantic love and my world was turned upside down.

My world was fallen and over, for soft dark eyes on it shone;

A thousand years it had waited, and now it is over and gone!

[In Memory Of Your Dream One July Night by W B Yeats]

In the same year I suffered great loss at the death of a loved one and still I was not allowed to return to the Great Work! I left everything that was familiar to me and moved to London where I studied on a degree course. It would be five years before the imbalance would be corrected and I was again, by subtle means, enticed back to the Great Work by those Secret Chiefs!

Love is the Law, love under will.

THE MAGIC BOOK WORM

REVIEWS BY BARRY VAN-ASTEN

Commentaries on the Holy Books and other papers, being The Equinox, volume four, number one.

This volume contains many interesting papers by the magician Aleister Crowley, referring to the Holy Books of Thelema, a set of inspired poetic texts or ‘divine scriptures’, depending on your point of view, received in 1907 and 1911. Within this book is Crowley’s excellent essay ‘Occultism’, a forward-thinking explanation of the subject. There is also ‘One Star in Sight’ a glimpse of the structure and system of the Great White Brotherhood; Liber XXXIII an Account of A.A.; Liber XIII vel Graduum Montis Abiegni; Liber CLXXXV, which describes the tasks and the oaths of the magical grades; Liber Vesta; Liber DCLXXI vel Pyramidos; Liber VIII, an invocation of the Augoeides; Liber Cordis Cincti serpent vel LXV; Liber LXXI – ‘The Voice of Silence’, ‘The Two Paths’ and ‘The Seven Portals’, being Crowley’s commentaries on the above works by Helena Blavatsky. There are also the shorter commentaries to the Holy Books of Thelema. In fact, the book aids the aspirant in the attainment of the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel, and the grade of Adeptus Minor; this is therefore an important publication to magicians everywhere!

The Vision and the Voice with commentary and other papers, being The Equinox, volume four, number two.

Liber CDXVIII The Vision and the Voice is a detailed exploration of the thirty aethyrs from the Enochian system of magic as discovered and developed by Dr. John Dee and Edward Kelly. Aleister Crowley began investigating the aethyrs in Mexico in 1900, and then in Algeria during 1909 with Victor Benjamin Neuburg (1883-1940). Within these recorded visions is the important magical ordeal of ‘Crossing the Abyss’ and the attainment of the grade of Magister Templi [Master of the Temple]. Also included in the book is Liber CCCXXV The Bartzabel Working, a ritual evocation of the spirit of Mars performed in 1910; Liber LX The Ab-Ul-Diz Working, a discourse with an intelligence in 1911 which led to the writing of the inspirational ‘Book 4’. Liber CDXV The Paris Working, sex magick performed in 1914 with his magical assistant, the poet, Victor Neuburg (Frater Omnia Vincam or Lampada Tradam). Also included are Crowley’s fragmentary diaries for 1909 and 1910, together with detailed editorial notes and a full index. In fact, the book contains a wealth of new and invaluable material to any aspiring magician!

The Book of Lies – by Aleister Crowley.

First published in 1913, ‘The Book of Lies which is also falsely called Breaks the wanderings or falsifications of the one thought of Frater Perdurabo (Crowley) which thought is itself untrue’, is a collection of paradoxes and aphorisms, consisting of ninety-three chapters of various lengths, concerning the Qabalistic signifigance of each number. For example, chapter 36 ‘The Star Sapphire’ gives a revised and ‘perfect’ ritual of the Hexagram, 36 being the square of 6; and chapter 77 refers to Laylah, whose numerical value in Hebrew is 77, and so on. Each chapter has a commentary to help understand the veiled symbolism and obscure allusions behind each numerical interpretation. There are puns, play upon words revealing secret ‘esoteric’ knowledge; double and even triple meanings connected in combinations that will outrage, baffle and thoroughly perplex the reader beyond belief, but all of a sudden, through diligent work and understanding, its subtle beauty is revealed! Remarkable!

The Magical Diaries of Aleister Crowley: Tunisia 1923 – Edited by Stephen Skinner.

The Magical Diaries present us with a warts and all glimpse into the daily life of Aleister Crowley during the year 1923; a year in which Crowley had been banished from his Abbey of Thelema in Cefalu, Sicily, by order of Mussolini. These diaries record in detail the ‘Great Beast’s’ magical workings and the influences and results obtained. He writes down his thoughts on the Book of the Law and its commentaries; his use of drugs to achieve altered states of consciousness and his investigations into the practice of sex magick; also his use of the I Ching for general divination purposes. In fact, the diaries reveal a very ‘human’ individual with doubts thrown into self-analysis and unsure of his next move; a man subjected to constant ill health that isn’t afraid to laugh at himself and his failings. But, through all of this personal introspection we see a man dedicated towards his spiritual journey and tirelessly working towards its conclusion. Fascinating!

New Aeon Magick: Thelema without Tears – by Gerald del Campo.

New Aeon Magick is a very unique and useful book to both beginners and experienced practitioners of Thelemic Magick. Written in a simple to understand manner, it tackles such important subjects as: ‘What is Qabalah and how is it used within a magical context?’, ‘What is Magick?’, ‘How do Thelemic Gods and Goddesses differ from established perceptions of God forms?’, ‘How does one obtain or make one’s magical tools?’ With the emphasis on ‘practice’ rather than theory, New Aeon Magick looks at the Great Work in relation to everyday life, with chapters on: ‘The Philosophy of True Will’, ‘Courage’, ‘Love’, ‘Silence’, ‘Death’, ‘Meditation’, ‘Magical Ritual and Formulae’, and much more. I would highly recommend this book purely on the fact that there is not enough good ‘insightful’ books on Thelema and also because it is a very good general guide on magick which can be used in daily practices.

PEGAMINA

By BARRY VAN-ASTEN

PART FIVE

THE ELUSIVE SINGING BUTTERFLY

It was early the next morning when Pegamina awoke to the shafts of sunlight entering through the windows, giving the room an other-worldly glow. As the last curtains of sleep fell from her eyes, she sat up and looked about her – there was the music box, still on the bookcase, and there were her shoes on top of the shelf by the fire. But how awful the room seemed in the sunlight, its decay unmasked for all to see! Could there ever have been joy here? Across the room great chains of cobwebs fell and everywhere that Pegamina looked there was a thick carpet of dust eager to blot out every reminder that this room had once known life. Yet nothing could live here now; this is a dead room! How very different it all seemed the night before. ‘The darkness does hide the things one doesn’t want to see’ thought Pegamina as she sat by the window, looking at the wild green landscape stretching out beyond the yew trees that had been so frightening in the darkness. Now everything was calm and still, yet Pegamina felt confused: ‘had it all been a dream?’ she thought. And not wishing to stay any longer, she hurried from its dim walls and depressing air, out into the sunshine – ‘Let it keep its secrets’ she whispered to herself.
She had walked for most of the morning and was beginning to feel rather hungry. As she turned a bend in the lane, she noticed a large stone monument in the middle of the crossroads. It didn’t seem to be of anything in particular, just an ordinary stone column with some words written upon it. Pegamina walked towards the column and read the words out aloud: ‘In memory of a thin man’ and she read on:

‘Here lies one, whose soul was meek,

He ate, but only once a week;

He grew so frail, he could not stand:

He weighed but fifty grains of sand.

And if in life you should meet

A man so disinclined to eat:

Don’t cough, don’t sneeze, don’t say “Good Day!”

For you shall blow him quite away!’

‘How strange’ thought Pegamina as she sat down against the stone column to rest a while;
‘Don’t do that!’ came a voice from somewhere.
‘Don’t do what?’ replied Pegamina, jumping to her feet.
‘Don’t pity poor thin man for he is dead – he left too many things in his heart unsaid!’ And just then, an odd-looking bird-like creature stepped from behind the column and introduced itself:
‘I am the Don’t Don’t bird don’t you know and I’m pleased to make your acquaintance’ it said in a gruff voice, bowing so low that its nose touched the ground.
‘My name’s Pegamina, how do you do?’ she said a little nervously.
‘Exceedingly!’ was all that the Don’t Don’t bird replied.
Now, to give a description of the Don’t Don’t bird would take so long that by the time you’ve understood what it was in the end you would have completely forgotten what it was in the beginning, for it was such a fascinating and unusual bird in its appearance. But briefly, one could say that its head was of the exotic sort: too much beak and not enough eye! (I must mention here that the Don’t Don’t was somewhat disadvantaged in the eye department, in fact, he had decided at an early age that one eye is quite sufficient to see the world and to have two seemed positively greedy, so out came the eye!) its feathers were sometimes black and sometimes blue, for they seemed unable to agree on one colour. Its legs were long and thin and its feet were three sizes too big. And the whole ensemble was carelessly thrown into a pair of ancient golfing trousers and a red hunting jacket. And upon his back he carried a pink ruck-sack with a shotgun strapped across it. And all this could be seen pacing up and down before Pegamina, looking a little flustered.
‘What are you doing?’ asked Pegamina.
‘I’m waiting’ replied the Don’t Don’t.
‘Waiting for what?’ ‘Not what – whom!’
‘Then for whom are you waiting?’
‘Peacock!’ said Don’t Don’t, almost singing it.
Pegamina didn’t like to ask why he was waiting for the peacock, although she would have liked to have known. She sat down and feeling a little weak from being hungry, she said:
‘I don’t suppose you have something I could eat in your bag?’
‘You can’t eat in my bag but I have something in my bag that you can eat!’ returned the Don’t Don’t. And he reached into his ruck-sack and pulled out a big red apple and said:
‘You may take this apple with my compliments’ and he bowed once again, just as low.
‘Thank you, you are kind’ said Pegamina accepting the apple.
‘Tell me, why are you sitting at the monument; are you waiting for someone too?’ inquired the Don’t Don’t.
‘No, I’m only resting, you see, I have become quite lost and don’t know which road to take’.
‘Don’t take that one!’ said Don’t Don’t, pointing, ‘it goes nowhere, which is all very well if you want to go nowhere, but if you want to go somewhere, then I would take that road’ and he pointed once again. But Pegamina didn’t really understand where somewhere was and why it was better than nowhere, but she supposed it was better than here or anywhere.
As she sat eating the apple, she forgot all about the Don’t Don’t bird and thought only about her ghostly visitor the night before. Why was he occupying her thoughts so much? In her mind she saw how kind he had been to her and how very lonely he seemed in that crumbling time mill. She thought how, for the first time in her whole life she had looked into someone’s eyes and found more than pity for her own sorrows; more than the cruel thoughts that hurt so much and cannot be hidden by one’s eyes no matter how hard you try. It’s like the sunlight, she thought, pouring in at the windows of that dark and dreary house; nothing can escape the truth and one’s eyes are like the sunlight, for no deceit can be hidden away by them. But she didn’t want these feelings, there was no joy in them, only pain, for the truth was she had fallen in love with a ghost!
As she wiped a tear from her eye, the Don’t Don’t bird, who, between keeping his eye out for the peacock and observing the sad, sitting figure of Pegamina, suddenly said:
‘Don’t cry little one! It is only the butterfly fluttering in your heart!’
‘What do you mean?’ said Pegamina, not understanding.
‘Don’t you know of the elusive singing butterfly?’
‘I’ve never heard of it!’
‘Dear me not heard of it!’ chimed the Don’t Don’t.
‘I’m afraid not. Will you tell me about it?’
‘Well’ began the Don’t Don’t bird, ‘a long time ago, when there was time of course, there was a great falling out between the night moon and the day moon’.
‘You mean there are two moons?’
‘There were, let me continue. Now, these moons, they had both fallen completely in love with a princess and her name was Caltrenia. She was so beautiful that all the young and handsome princes came to admire her beauty and ask for her hand in marriage. But the princess would never consent for she so very much liked having two moons fighting for her love that no mere prince could ever compete or be acceptable to her! Each night, she would sing from the highest window in the tower of the palace to the night moon and each morning she would play her harp to the day moon, for she could decide between them. But her father, the King, grew more and more unhappy, for the land was plentiful with prosperous and well-connected young princes, yet his daughter who despised all earthly riches, would have none for a husband! So the King sent word throughout the kingdom that whoever could rid the land of the day moon, that man, no matter his status or his finances, shall take the hand of his daughter in marriage. Well, as you can imagine, many tried and many failed and the King grew more and more anxious, until one day, a man named Myther, not so very handsome and not so very rich, came and put a spell over the day moon, transforming it into a beautiful butterfly!’
‘And what happened next?’ said Pegamina, entranced by the story.
‘The princess married the man, though she did not love him. She tried with all her heart, yet still she could find no affection for him. Then, one day, she ran away from her doting husband and away from her father’s kingdom, in search of the butterfly that sang so sweetly. She searched and she searched but no trace of the butterfly could she find and she grew very sad and very old until she was never heard of again!’
‘What a terrible thing to fall in love! But tell me, has anyone ever seen this butterfly?’ said a tearful Pegamina.
‘No, it is elusive, but it can be heard, so I’m told, when one is deeply in love. Its soft, sonorous voice sings in the hearts of lovers. And I think it is singing in your heart!’
Pegamina said nothing as she felt the tears come to her eyes once more.
‘There is a song about the butterfly that is well known here, would you like to hear it?’ said the Don’t Don’t bird.
‘Oh yes, I would please’ Pegamina answered. And the Don’t Don’t bird began to sing:

‘O secret or symphony -

I know its heart too well;

Sweet sovereign of life's mystery,

Your silence cannot tell

What difference this is, parts you and I

Or what spirit takes you far away.

Will this love immense, never fade;

Could my heart but love you less?

I have seen your fiery wings displayed

To summer's silver light caress;

Serene, unfolds, and flits away

And blessed to live another day.

I'll say I'll seek its beauty,

To hear its sealed heart sigh

Through the long, lone summer,

Wherever its soft wings lie.

And passions fleeting in vain, will chase,

Though never mar nor seize its grace.

Since then in my remembering

Its sad and sable flush,

Fate, in its surrendering,

Steals by a pale moon's crush

Where the frailness of the butterfly

Unknowing strength - must die!’

Pegamina wept. ‘Perhaps it does sing in my heart after all!’ she thought.
‘Ah! Here’s Peacock now!’ shouted the Don’t Don’t bird.
‘Helloooo’ boomed the peacock, striding towards them with a refined air about it.
‘He’s a game old bird the Peacock, a positive enigma, I say a positive enigma to all who know him!’ whispered the Don’t Don’t bird in Pegamina’s ear.
Now, there was nothing unusual about the peacock except for a rather long scarf wrapped at least three dozen times its neck with the remaining ends continually getting under his feet and tripping him over. On his head he wore a top hat that was much too large for him and so he was forever pushing the brim up from out of his eyes. And on his back he carried an over-stuffed ruck-sack!
‘Up to no good I see Don’t Don’t! And what have we here?’ said Peacock, waving a wing in the general direction of Pegamina.
‘This is my new acquaintance dear Peacock, her name is Pegamina and she has the butterfly within her!’
‘Ahhh, so young and so foolish! Pleased to meet you!’ Peacock said, shaking her hand but looking at the Don’t Don’t bird.
‘I’m very pleased to know you’ she said, curtsying for he did look so distinguished.
‘Are you indeed? Then I’m sure we shall get on just fine, eh Don’t Don’t?’ and they both laughed, and Pegamina, not wishing to seem rude and unfriendly, laughed too.
‘Well are we all ready?’ the peacock said in a theatrical manner.
'We are so ready Peacock that there is a danger of expiring from over-readiness!’ chuckled the Don’t Don’t.
‘Ahh I see we’re in fine jest Don’t Don’t; one needs to laugh when one is so incredibly laughable!’ and they both laughed.
‘Ready for what?’ inquired Pegamina.
‘For the hunt! My dear, for the hunt!’ answered the peacock, emphasising the word ‘hunt’.
‘But what are you hunting?’
‘I don’t know... what are we hunting Peacock?’
‘Ahhh who knows when the sweet hunt is upon us!’ the peacock answered displaying a grand sweeping gesture with his wing and again emphasising the word ‘hunt’.
‘We may begin by shooting at the Lily, that’s always good sport! Or maybe throwing stones at the weeping trout, or then again, we could make another attempt at cracking the shell on the back of the giant shouting snail’ Peacock said gleefully.
‘But why?’ said a shocked Pegamina.
‘Why?’ said the Don’t Don’t.
‘Whhhhy?’ said Peacock.
‘Yes why? That’s not very nice at all!’
‘Nice’ said the Don’t Don’t.
‘Niiiice’ said the peacock. And he continued: ‘My dear, let me explain. We are sporting fowl. We hunt. It’s what we do’ he said, emphasising the word ‘hunt’ again.
‘I think it’s very cruel!’ Pegamina shouted angrily.
‘Cruel! Of course not’ said an astonished Peacock.
‘Of course not’ echoed the Don’t Don’t. ‘Besides, Peacock can fire away with both barrels all day long and still not hit a thing!’ Don’t Don’t whispered behind his wing.
‘I heard that!’ screeched Peacock, frowning.
‘And anyway’ continued Don’t Don’t ‘fishy likes stones thrown at it, it’s just like being tickled, only more fatal, you see. And as for the snail, well, its shell is un-crackable, but one must try, mustn’t one? It’s the love of the hunt!’
‘Precisely Don’t Don’t, the love of the hunt!’ Peacock interjected, again emphasising the word ‘hunt’.
‘I know what’s right and I know what’s wrong, and this is definitely wrong!’ Pegamina shouted, stamping her foot.
‘Good for you!’ said the Don’t Don’t, nodding its head.
‘Good day to yoooou’ sang the peacock and the two sporting fowl went on their way, contemplating the day’s hunt as Peg took the road to ‘somewhere’, thinking what wickedness there is in even those who know beauty!

Pegamina and the Don't Don't bird

at the Monument

THE VOICE OF FIRE

21.6.14

Volume 1, Number V.