THE VOICE OF FIRE
Volume 1, Number 3. Winter Solstice. An CIX ☉ in 29° Sagittarius, ☽ in 13° Leo.
Saturday 21st December 2013 e.v.
'Draw into naught
All life, death, hatred, love:
All self concentred in the sole desire -
Hear thou the Voice of Fire!'
Tannhauser. Aleister Crowley.
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.
Love is the law, love under will.
Volume 1, Number 3 of the Voice of Fire is dedicated to Victor Benjamin Neuburg
[1883-1940]
CONTENTS
Editorial
Victor Neuburg
The Hermit's Hymn to Solitude by A. Crowley
Victor Neuburg's Family Tree
Victor Neuburg's Family Tree
The Holy Books of Thelema
The Triumph of Pan by Victor Neuburg
Some observations into the Thelemic Gamatria
of Liber Al vel Legis by Audrarep
Boleskine House: A Brief History
A Note in the Margin
A Fair Plea for Fair Play by Victor Neuburg
A Note in the Margin
A Fair Plea for Fair Play by Victor Neuburg
To Foyers
The Wand of Silence
The Magic Book Worm
Pegamina part three
The Wand of Silence
The Magic Book Worm
Pegamina part three
EDITORIAL
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.
In coming to Aleister Crowley for the first time, one instinctively asks the question: was Crowley really wicked? In looking at his extraordinary life we can be forgiven for thinking that this being known as Aleister Crowley, Frater Perdurabo and the wanderer in the waste must be some sort of fabled creature for his life is so rich with adventure, filled with events both mythic and heroic, yet he was most assuredly, a man!
In viewing his life in accordance to today’s standards of behaviour, we can see that he was far ahead of his time in his thoughts and his actions; he pushed social boundaries, explored various states of consciousness and questioned the phenomena of existence. There is no doubt that he was a forward thinking pioneer and this is why he has appealed to modern culture from the nineteen-sixties to the present, influencing many creative artists, musicians, film-makers and writers alike. Some of the more outrageous behaviour attributed to Crowley and written by a few patriotic psychopaths during the nineteen-thirties are nothing more than the mad ramblings of lunatics wanting to sell more newspapers, which of course had the desired effect, it is only human nature to be curious about other people, especially when acts of wickedness are mentioned, it makes one feel morally better. But by comparison, the horrors committed in the name of Christianity and the evil ‘sickness’, depravity and abuse which still lurks within the church are incomprehensible to our sense of decency. Yet still it persists and its regularity has numbed us into a gentle shrug of the shoulder. We have come to expect it!
Much emphasis has been placed upon Crowley’s eccentricities, and why not, we are a nation proud of our eccentrics! But worse, he has been accused of all sorts of crimes from cannibalism to murder! Nonsense! As he says himself, he never so much as broke the law. Perhaps this is not strictly correct, for we know that he enjoyed that most pleasurable of pastimes which was deemed illegal at the time and which comes so naturally to the English character – Sodomy! But it was a time of primitive attitudes to sex and sexuality and it was an inhuman law brought about to persecute those who only wished the freedom to express their sexuality. Now, I am the last person to condemn the outdated, corrupt and hypocritical institution whose teachings instigated such a vicious law, and I would never say such a thing as to damn to hell the malevolent organisation which encourages repression, glorifies suffering and worships death and professes to preach love, forgiveness and good will to all men!
Crowley never took himself too seriously yet it is all too easy for some people to misinterpret his humour and to focus on the negative aspects of his life. Because of the many flaws in Crowley’s personality as a human being, we can in turn recognise our own failings and thus identify a little with the man. He created some of the myths about himself and conjured an air of diabolism about him which remained with him all his life. Despite all the falsehoods that was written about him during his life – he carried on; despite the financial difficulties he faced and the interruptions to the Great Work – he carried on, tirelessly! Despite the vile and vulgar lies which continue to circulate about him, people remain fascinated and are turning to his works which are easy to access in this growing age of enlightenment and they are intelligently making up their own minds about the Great Beast 666!
So, for all those who misuse his name and perpetuate the lies; for all those who try to discredit his life and work, it just goes to show you can’t keep a great man down and there’s no such thing as bad publicity for the enigma of Aleister Crowley shall reach across the centuries!
Love is the law, love under will.
The Voice of Fire welcomes submissions (poetry, short stories, articles and reviews etc). Please send all submissions to the editor at
barryvanasten418@hotmail.com
VICTOR NEUBURG
Sunday 6th May 1883: Victor Benjamin Neuburg born, Sun in Taurus 15°, at 129 Highbury Hill, Islington, London. His mother is Janette Jacobs, born 30th March 1855 at 90 Suffolk Street. She is the daughter of Moses Jacobs, (cane merchant) and Rebecca Jacobs, formerly Levy. Janette married Carl Neuburg, a General Importer, (born 1857 in Pilsen, Bohemia, son of Moritz Neuburg, Gentleman) on Saturday 29th July 1882 at 123 Highbury New Park, Canonbury; Janette was 27 years old. Carl Neuburg was unhappy with London and with his wife’s family and so he returned to Vienna, leaving Janette to bring up young Victor, with help from her sisters.
September 1896-December 1899: Victor attended the City of London School at Victoria Embankment, leaving school aged sixteen and a half. He was then put to work in the family business: ‘Jacobs, Young and Westbury Ltd’ at 109 Borough High Street, SE1.
Thursday 27th August 1903: Victor’s grandmother Rebecca died. Shortly after, Janette and Victor, aged twenty, moved to Albany Villas in Hove. It was also during August that Victor submitted a poem to the ‘Agnostic Journal’, receiving a reply from the Editor in the same publication dated 5th September 1903. His first published poem was ‘Vale Jehovah!’ in the ‘Agnostic Journal’. Throughout the remainder of 1903 Victor submitted further poems to the ‘Agnostic Journal’ and the ‘Freethinker’.
1906: Having passed the compulsory exam in Latin and Greek, Victor (aged 23) went up to Cambridge in the Michaelmas Term of 1906 and entered Trinity College. He read for the Tripos in Modern Languages. He was at Cambridge until the Easter Term of 1909 when he sat and passed his finals, achieving a Third Class Honours Degree. It was while he was at Cambridge that he formed a literary discussion group called the ‘Pan Society’. Aleister Crowley (a fellow Trinity man) was brought to Victor’s attention through J F C Fuller and sometime during 1906, Crowley, who had read some of Victor’s poems in the ‘Agnostic Journal’ went to visit Victor in his rooms at Cambridge.
Thursday 28th February 1907: Crowley visits Victor at Cambridge and gives a talk to the ‘Pan Society’ on literature and magick.
1908: Victor’s first book of poems ‘The Green Garland’ is published.
Friday 31st July 1908: Victor and Aleister left Paris together for Bordeaux and then on to Spain for a walking tour.
Saturday 1st August 1908: They arrive at Bayonne and Ustaritz.
Sunday 2nd August 1908: Madrid.
Friday 28th August 1908: Victor and Aleister leave Madrid and the following day they arrive in Gibraltar. In September they reach Morroco. Victor left on Sunday 13th September and joined his relatives at San Sebastian in December 1908.
Tuesday 6th April 1909: Three weeks before Victor graduates from Cambridge, he becomes the first member to join Aleister Crowley’s magical order the A∴A∴ as a probationer. He takes the magical motto: Omnia Vincam (I will conquer all). Following this on his return to Cambridge he performs the Banishing Ritual every night.
Wednesday 16th June 1909: Victor leaves Cambridge for the last time and travels by night train to Scotland. He travels with Kenneth Ward (1887-1927), of Emmanuel College, who is a friend of Crowley’s who is making the long journey in order to borrow Crowley’s skis. They arrive in Foyers and walk the rest of the way to Crowley’s Loch-side home ‘Boleskine House’. Crowley has prepared a chamber for Victor on the ground floor so that he can perform his magical work without being disturbed. This is a separate room from his bedroom and Crowley has told Victor that he is to undergo a ten day magical retirement keeping a diary of occurrences and thoughts during the period. His retirement begins on Saturday 18th June 1909 and ends on Monday 27th June. He spends Tuesday 28th June making a copy of his diary notes in a book dated ‘29th June 1909. Boleskine’. He had passed Probationer!
Tuesday 28th June 1909: While searching for his skis in the attic at Boleskine House, Crowley finds his mislaid manuscript of Liber Al vel Legis (The Book of the Law).
Thursday 1st July 1909: Victor and Aleister travel to London. Victor stays at the Adelphi and assists Crowley with his work on The Equinox.
Wednesday 10th November 1909: Victor and Aleister leave London for Algeria.
Wednesday 17th November 1909: they arrive in Algeria.
Sunday 21st November 1909: At Aumale. See The Vision and the Voice – Liber CDXVIII.
Wednesday 24th November 1909: Sidi-Aissa.
Thursday 25th November 1909: Ain-El-Hadjel.
Sunday 28th November 1909: Bou-Saada.
Monday 6th December 1909: At Bou-Saada they invoke and encounter ‘Choronzon’!
Wednesday 8th December 1909: They walk through the desert to Biskra.
Thursday 9th December 1909: Waint-Aisha.
Friday 10th December 1909: Ben-S’Rour.
Monday 13th December 1909: Tolga.
Saturday 18th December 1909: Hammam Salahine.
Monday 9th May 1910: Three days after Victor’s twenty-seventh birthday he is with Aleister and Leila Waddell in Dorset at ‘Rempstone’, the home of Commander Marsten where they invoke the spirit of Mars. [see Liber CCCXXV The Bartzabel Working: an evocation of Bartzabel the spirit of Mars]
Tuesday 23rd August 1910: Victor and Aleister along with other members of the A∴A∴ are at Crowley’s flat which is also the office of The Equinox at 124 Victoria Street, London where the Press and members of the public are there to witness a ceremonial ritual the ‘Rite of Artemis’. Victor performs a magical dance. Following on from the success of this, Crowley composes further rites, seven in all which correspond to the planets which he plans to make into a public performance. He hires a room at London’s Caxton Hall for the occasions which is to occur on consecutive Wednesdays during October and November 1910.
Wednesday 19th October 1910: The Rite of Saturn. 9 pm. Caxton Hall.
Wednesday 26th October 1910: The Rite of Jupiter. 9 pm. Caxton Hall.
Wednesday 2nd November 1910: The Rite of Mars. 9 pm. Caxton Hall.
Wednesday 9th November 1910: The Rite of Sol. 9 pm. Caxton Hall.
Wednesday 16th November 1910: The Rite of Venus. 9 pm. Caxton Hall.
Wednesday 23rd November 1910: The Rite of Mercury. 9 pm. Caxton Hall.
Wednesday 30th November 1910: The Rite of Luna. 9 pm. Caxton Hall.
December 1910: Victor’s second poem collection ‘The Triumph of Pan’ is published through The Equinox. During this time Victor’s magical grade was 2°=9□ Zelator. His new magical motto was ‘Lampada Tradam’ (I carry the light). He also became VI° OTO. Also during December Victor and Aleister travel to Algiers again with the intention of continuing the work with the Enochian Keys. They arrived at Bou Saada and on the 15th December began walking. Unfortunately Victor was ill and Crowley left him in Biskra and went back to London.
Friday 28th June 1912: Victor completes the final draft of ‘The New Diana’.
Wednesday 31st December 1913: Victor and Aleister are in Paris and they begin the first working in what is to be known as the ‘Paris Working, (see Liber CDXV Opus Lutertianum).
Thursday 12th February 1914: The final work in the Paris Working.
September/October 1914: Victor sees Aleister for the last time. Aleister travels to the United States.
1916: Victor is serving in the Army as Private Victor B. Neuburg. S/355614. R.A.S.C.
Wednesday 19th September 1917: Victor sails with his regiment from Southampton and arrives the next day at Le Havre.
Monday 1st October 1917: Arrives at Abbeville.
Sometime following this date Victor is in an Army convalescent camp at Neanda, Cornwall and then another convalescent camp near Eastbourne.
Autumn 1919: Victor has left the Army and lives at Vine Cottage, Steyning in Sussex.
1920: ‘Lillygay: an anthology of anonymous poems’ is published. It is the first book published by Victor’s ‘Vine Press’.
1921: ‘Swiftwings: Songs in Sussex’ published by Vine Press.
Tuesday 8th November 1921: Victor marries Kathleen Rose Goddard (born 22nd November 1892, at 77 Lincoln Street, Brighton). The wedding takes place at Hammersmith Registry Office and the addresses on the certificate are given as ‘5 and 5a Maclise Road, Hammersmith’.
1921: ‘Songs of the Groves’ published. 1922: ‘Larkspur: a lyric garland’ published.
Saturday 8th March 1924: A son is born to Victor and Kathleen whom they name Victor Edward Neuburg. Victor Edward became an author and a scholar and he married Hannah ‘Anne’ Hilsum who was born in Kensington, London in 1919, the daughter of Elias Hilsum and Caroline Brown who were married in 1915, (Hannah died in 2000). Victor Edward and Hannah married in 1944 and they had a daughter named Caroline R. C. Neuburg born in 1948 in St Pancras, London.
Sunday 9th April 1933: The first appearance of ‘The Poet’s Corner’, Victor’s column which he edited for the Sunday Referee. In the same year on 3rd September Victor published the first poem by Dylan Thomas after recognising his natural talent as a poet.
Friday 24th November 1939: Victor’s mother Janette dies aged eighty-four at 84 Boundary Road, Hampstead, London NW8.
Thursday 30th May 1940: Victor Benjamin Neuburg dies aged fifty-seven of tubercular pneumonia and chronic phthisis at 84 Boundary Road, Hampstead, London NW8. Present was Mrs Runia Tharp.
THE HERMIT'S HYMN TO SOLITUDE
Namo Tassa Bhagavato Arahato Sammasambuddhasa.
Venerable Lord and Best of Friends,
We, seeing the cycle in which Maha Brahma is perhaps more a drifting buoy than ourselves, knowing that it is called the waking in delusion, the puppet show of delusion, the writhing of delusion, the fetter of delusion, are aware that the way out of the desert is found by going into the desert. Will you, in your lonely lamaserai, accept this hymn from me, who, in the centre of civilisation, am perhaps more isolated than you in your craggy fastness among the trackless steppes of your Untrodden Land?
Aleister Crowley
Paris, A.B. 2446
I.
Mightiest self! Supreme in Self-Contentment!
Sole Spirit gyring in its own ellipse;
Palpable, formless, infinite presentment
Of thine own light in thine own soul’s eclipse!
Let thy chaste lips
Sweep through the empty aethers guarding thee
(As in a fortress girded by the sea
The raging winds and wings of air
Lift the wild waves and bear
Innavigable foam to seaward), bend thee down,
Touch, draw me with thy kiss
Into thine own deep bliss,
Into thy sleep, thy life, thy imperishable crown!
Let that young godhead in thine eyes
Pierce mine, fulfil me of their secrecies,
Thy peace, thy purity, thy soul impenetrably wise.
II.
All things which are complete are solitary;
The circling moon, the inconscient drift of stars,
The central systems. Burn they, change they, vary?
Theirs is no motion beyond the eternal bars.
Seasons and scars
Stain not the planets, the unfathomed home,
The spaceless, unformed faces in the dome
Brighter and blacker than all things,
Borne under the eternal wings
No whither: solitary are the winter woods
And caves not habited,
And that supreme grey head
Watching the groves: single the foaming amber floods,
And O! Most lone
The melancholy mountain shrine and throne,
While far above all things God sits, the ultimate alone!
III.
I sate upon the mossy promontory
Where the cascade cleft not his mother rock,
But swept in whirlwind lightning foam and glory,
Vast circling with unwearying luminous shock
To lure and lock
Marvellous eddies in its wild caress;
And there the solemn echoes caught the stress,
The strain of that impassive tide,
Shook it and flung it high and wide,
Till all the air took fire from that melodious roar;
All the mute mountains heard,
Bowed, laughed aloud, concurred,
And passed the word along, the signal of wide war.
All earth took up the sound,
And, being in one tune securely bound,
Even as a star became the soul of silence most profound.
IV.
Thus there, the centre of that death that darkened,
I sat and listened, if God’s voice should break
And pierce the hollow of my ear that hearkened,
Lest God should speak and find me not awake—
For his own sake.
No voice, no song might pierce or penetrate
That enviable universal state.
The sun and moon beheld, stood still.
Only the spirit’s axis, will,
Considered its own soul and sought a deadlier deep,
And in its monotone mood
Of supreme solitude
Was neither glad nor sad because it did not sleep;
But with calm eyes abode
Patient, its leisure the galactic load,
Abode alone, nor even rejoiced to know that it was God.
V.
All change, all motion, and all sound are weakness!
Man cannot bear the darkness which is death.
Even that calm Christ, manifest in meekness,
Cried on the cross and gave his ghostly breath,
On the prick of death,
Voice, for his passion could not bear nor dare
The interlunar, the abundant air
Darkened, and silence on the shuddering
Hill, and the unbeating wing
Of the legions of His Father, and so died.
But I, should I be still
Poised between fear and will?
Should I be silent, I, and be unsatisfied?
For solitude shall bend
Self to all selffulness, and have one friend,
Self, and behold one God, and be, and look beyond the End.
VI.
O Solitude! How many have mistaken
Thy name for Sorrow’s, or for Death’s or Fear’s!
Only thy children lie at night and waken—
How shouldst thou speak and say that no man hears?
O Soul of Tears!
For never hath fallen as dew thy word,
Nor is thy shape showed, nor as Wisdom’s heard
Thy crying about the city
In the house where is no pity,
But in the desolate halls and lonely vales of sand:
Not in the laughter loud,
Nor crying of the crowd,
But in the farthest sea, the yet-untravelled land.
Where thou hast trodden, I have trod;
Thy folk have been my folk, and thine abode
Mine, and thy life my life, and thou, who art thy God, my God.
VII.
Draw me with cords that are not; witch me chanted
Spells never heard nor open to the ear,
Woven of silence, moulded in the haunted
Houses where dead men linger year by year.
I have no fear
To tread thy far irremeable way,
Beyond the paths and palaces of day,
Beyond the night, beyond the skies,
Beyond eternity’s
Tremendous gate; beyond the immanent miracle.
O secret self of things!
I have nor feet nor wings
Except to follow far beyond Heaven and Earth and Hell,
Until I mix my mood
And being in thee, as in my hermit’s hood,
I grow the thing I contemplate— that selfless solitude!
[Collected Works of Aleister Crowley. Volume II. ‘Oracles’ (1905). Foyers. 1906]
Victor Neuburg's Family Tree
THE HOLY BOOKS OF THELEMA
The Holy Books consist of books in Class A of which may be changed not so much as the style of a letter: they are the utterance of an Adept completely beyond all criticism. They have a unique style of their own and were written during several exalted spiritual trances by the hand of Aleister Crowley who remained unconscious of the inspired works created through him. The first and most important of the Holy Books to be received by Crowley was LIBER CCXX – Liber AL Vel Legis, Sub Figura CCXX. The book contains three chapters each delivered on three consecutive days in Cairo, Egypt, by an entity named Aiwass, whom Crowley knew to be his Holy Guardian Angel.
Chapter I was delivered between midday and one p.m. on Friday 8th April 1904 e.v; chapter II between midday and one p.m. on Saturday 9th April 1904 e.v. and chapter III between midday and one p.m. on Sunday 10th April 1904 e.v. (The moon in 1st quarter appeared on Thursday 7th April 1904 e.v.). It is generally known as Liber AL or The Book of the Law and has 220 chapters (CCXX). The book signals an end to the old Aeon of Osiris in which we have the sacrificial gods and the notion of doing God’s will on earth, for with the book is the coming of the child and the inauguration of the New Aeon of Horus.
In the year 1907 e.v. Crowley received several more inspired texts which came to be known as The Holy Books of Thelema (further texts followed in the year 1911 e.v.)
LIBER VII – Liber Liberi Vel Lapidis Lazuli, Adumbratio Kabbalae AEgyptiorum, Sub Figura VII. The book is an account of the initiation of a Master of the Temple and the seven chapters refer to the seven planets, thus: Mars, Saturn, Jupiter, Sol, Mercury, Luna and Venus. The Book of Lapis Lazuli was received between the hours of eleven p.m. on Tuesday 29th October 1907 e.v. (moon in 3rd quarter) and one-thirty a.m. on Wednesday 30th October 1907 e.v. The full moon appeared on Monday 21st October and Crowley’s 32nd birthday was on Saturday 12th October 1907 e.v.
LIBER LXV – Liber Cordis Cincti Serpente, Sub Figura LXV. An account of the relations of the Aspirant with his Holy Guardian Angel, or the Higher Self, which is the crown of the Adept’s magickal journey and the essence of his magical work. The Book of the Heart Girt with a Serpent has five chapters each referring to the elements, thus: earth, air, water, fire and spirit. The book was received between the evening of Wednesday 30th October 1907 e.v. and Sunday 3rd November 1907 e.v. LXV= 50+10+5=65, the number of Adonai.
LIBER LXVI – Liber Stellae Rubeae, Sub Figura LXVI. A secret ritual, the Heart if IAO – OAI. The Book of the Ruby Star is a sexual magick rite written in symbols and it was received on Monday 25th November 1907 e.v. (full moon occurred on Wednesday 20th November). LXVI=50+10+5+1=66, which is the sum of the first eleven numbers and relates to magick, whose Key is eleven.
LIBER CCXXXI – Liber Arcanorum twn Atu tov Tahuti Quas Vidit Asar in Amennti, Sub Figura CCXXXI Liber Carcerorum twn Qliphoth cum suis Geniis, Adduntur Sigilla et Nomina Eorum. The book is a technical treatise on the 22 Trumps of the Tarot. The ‘atus of Tahuti and sigils of genii’ was received on Thursday 5th December 1907 e.v. (the new moon) and Friday 6th December 1907 e.v.; the ‘Sigilla 22’ was copied on Saturday 14th December 1907 e.v. and the text was received in the summer of 1911 e.v. CCXXXI=100+100+10+10+10+1=231 which is the sum of the numbers printed on the Tarot Trumps thus: 0+1+2+3+4+5………20+21=231.
LIBER X – Liber Porta Lucis, Sub Figura X. The book is an account of the sending forth of the Master and an explanation of his mission to summon those seeking the Light into the Great Work. The book, called The Gate of Light was received on Thursday 12th December 1907 e.v. (moon in 1st quarter). X=10. Porta Lucis=Gate of Light, a title of Malkuth, whose number is 10.
LIBER CD – Liber Tau Vel Kabbalae Trium Literarum, Sub Figura CD. The book is an analysis of the Hebrew Alphabet and the Tarot and it was received on Friday 13th December 1907 e.v. CD=100+300=400.
LIBER XXVII – Liber Trigrammaton, Sub Figura XXVII. The Book of Trigrams of the Mutations of the Tao with the Yin and the Yang. The book was received on Saturday 14th December 1907 e.v. XXVII=27, the number of permutations of 3 things taken 3 at a time.
LIBER DCCCXIII – Vel Ararita, Sub Figura DLXX. An account of the Hexagram and the method of reducing it to the Unity, and Beyond. Ararita is a name of God, a Notariqon of the sentence ‘One is His beginning; One is His Individuality; His Permutation One’. The book was received in the winter of 1907-08 e.v. DCCCXIII=813. DLXX=570 (Vel Ararita).
LIBER I – Liber B Vel Magi, Sub Figura I. An account of the grade of Magus, the highest grade achievable on the physical plane. The Book of the Magus was received in the summer of 1911 e.v. I= the number of the Magus in the Tarot.
LIBER XC – Liber Tzaddi Vel Hamus Hermeticus, Sub Figura CLVII. An account of Initiation and the summons to the Great Work. The Book of the Hermetic Fish Hook was received in the summer of 1911 e.v. XC=90 – Tzaddi= fish-hook.
LIBER CLVI – Liber Cheth Vel vallum Abiegni, Sub Figura CLVI. An account of the tasks of an Exempt Adept. The book – The Wall of Abiegnus (the Sacred Mountain of the Rosicrucians) is a formula of attainment through sex magick and devotion to Our Lady Babalon. It was received in the summer of 1911 e.v. CLVI=156 – Babalon.
LIBER CCCLXX – Liber A’ash Vel Capricorni Pneumatici, Sub Figura CCCLXX. The book shows how to awaken and use the magickal current within by the use of sex magick. The Book of the Creation of the Goat of the Spirit was received in the summer of 1911 e.v. CCCLXX=370 – Creation.
THE TRIUMPH OF PAN
Victor Neuburg
1910
I
There are three gods who in their talons hold me;
They dig within my breast
Their claws; beneath wide-feathered wings they fold me,
Crying, “Ah! here is rest”
They lie! for they, in sooth,
Are hungry for my youth,
And I in vain ask pity of their power,
For they have made me theirs in one short hour.
II
The first a woman, with burning glances mingled
With longings soft and pure;
And me, with dread fore-knowledge, she hath singled
As one that is right sure
To ease her fierce desire
With my consuming fire.
But while I love her she consumeth me;
She withereth my soul, that erst was free.
III
The second god laughs loud upon my plaining,
Seeing in me his prey;
He girds austerely at my dreadful straining
To hold myself in play:
He hath no pity now;
His great hand on my brow
Brings visions never to be known of me
Till I be one with his mad mystery.
IV
Lastly, there is one Great One, cold and burning,
Craft and hot in lust,
Who would make me a Sapphist and an Urning,
A Lesbian of the dust.
He sees the immortal light
Break through me to the night,
Where love is cast in impotent despair
From her communion with the upper air.
V
The dung of all ages clings unto him,
And a fierce light shines through;
They are the dead who once, long, long since, knew him:
The Pagan and the Jew
Have lent him, one by one,
Seed with their orison,
But he hath spurned their offerings, seeking me,
A god, a victim slain in majesty.
VI
Wherefore the current of my soul hath broken
The bounds of sensual life,
And I am grown a god, a sinewy token
Of Pan’s most ardent strife;
I am his own; I seem
The shadow of his dream,
As he is spinning thoughts of form and sense
Out of the formless void, stark, cold and dense.
VII
So, in my sorrow, I have broken heedless
From things of sense and change;
What should I seek who, having all, am needless
To all of them that range
The realm of softer thought?
O Master! thou hast wrought
This bitter burning in my breast; I dwell,
For ever, happy in the heart of hell.
VIII
I have cast out the sorrows of existence
From my lost heart; I see
Thee only in the strong chain of insistence;
O Master! I am free!
For thou hast slain desire,
Save for thine inmost fire:
I hear thee calling from the wings of Time,
And, answering, my soul is made sublime.
IX
Here in the dust I lie, a broken shadow,
A thing unsought, alone;
A bended blade of grass in the red meadow
Where lie the gut and bone
Of those fierce gods who granted
The heart that burned and panted,
To break at last in one tremendous beat,
Scattering its dolorous incense at their feet.
X
The way is dark and lone, but I am fearless,
Fearless as death in love;
My heart is broken, but mine eyes are tearless:
I seek the hidden grove
Where Pan plays to the trees,
The nymphs, the fauns, the breeze,
And the sick satyr with his siren-song
Makes the world ache with longing. I am strong.
XI
This I can bear, though I am lone and cheerless,
And withered fruit of spring;
This I can bear, for all my soul is fearless,
So shall my soul not sing?
Rejoice that I am thine,
That I have given thee wine
From out my virgin heart, my stainless soul;
I am corrupted utterly; and whole.
XII
The slavish singers of the barren years,
What have they left to say?
Upon the Moribund they waste weak tears,
And slobber o’er dull day.
But we, my God, have been
Sublimely wise; obscene
In passion; and her light is round us strown;
We have enmeshed in passion’s web the Unknown.
XIII
We found sleeping; yea, the Panic revel
Had drawn his spirit far;
Asleep, he bore the respect of the devil;
Awake, the morning star
Flashed in his eyes; oh, scan
The vision of great Pan;
Thrust tongue and limbs against his pulsing side,
And thou shalt know the dayspring as a bride!
XIV
The fire of generation, the salt juices
Within my body rare,
Shall remedy our winter-time abuses;
The odour of thy hair,
Thy feet, thy hands, shall bring
Again the Pagan spring,
And from our bodies’ union men shall know
To cast the veil from the sad face of woe,
XV
And know her utterly; her blazing eyes
Shall burn out in the sun,
And as she groweth blind a new surprise
Shall dawn on everyone
That gazes on her there;
There shall be no despair,
But Pan! Pan! Pan! and all the world shall be
Mingled in one wild burning ecstasy.
XVI
They cast out Love, but Love for aye hath dwelling,
Sleeping, within the spirit;
They have murdered Joy, but Joy reborn is swelling
In earth, and shall inherit
Anew the realm of Time,
And earth shall grow sublime
For ages, till our seed return to those
Who gave youth wisdom with the Staff and Rose.
XVII
The light is fading from the listening skies;
We have seen the golden band
That flashed with morning breezes on our eyes:
The old gray silent land
Bursts through the husk of sense,
And the air grows immense
With looming shadows of a world so wide,
It sways the ether as the moon the tide.
XVIII
The sense of dawn grows louder in men’s ears,
Here, in the waiting west;
The veil of darkness by a million spears
Is pierced, and the fair breast
Of dawn most purely bleeds,
And from her blood the seeds,
Scattered of old before the cross in gloom
Arose, spring forth, and bear the golden doom.
XIX
Now have we passed the dark fate’s outer portal,
And sit enthroned within
The Temple that was cast by hate immortal
Into a hell of sin.
But we anointed wait
The trumpet-call of Fate,
Who casts the lot of ages that shall pass,
As in a mirror, before thy soul’s dark glass.
XX
Oh, wiser they who share the day’s dull splendour
Of aimless thought and deed?
Oh, braver they who make a tired surrender
For fear that they should belled
But life no pity knows;
The sun burns, the dawn grows;
The terror of death, the pangs of birth, are hers,
The yearning soul of the formless universe.
XXI
The ways have parted, and the sun is glowing
Over the eternal sand,
And the endless road grows steeper; we are going
Into a nameless land.
Time and the gods shall lend
Their wisdom to the end;
And we shall know what lies beyond, and see
The shadows of the olden Mystery.
XXII
No way may lead us back; our track is hidden
In dust and sand and grass,
For lo! we journey on a road forbidden,
Where no man sees us pass.
It may be we shall find
The secret dumb and blind;
But the joy of terror seizes us; no stay
We make, for who looks back shall lose the way.
XXIII
Whither and whence have merged into the roaring
Of angry storm-tossed seas;
Into the void of time and space still soaring,
We travel with the breeze
That the old mouth of Time
Breathes in a fitful rime,
And is lost in the upper air serene and pure,
Where, life transcended, light is stern and sure.
XXIV
There is enchantment in the stony valley;
The star-lit wooden glen
Brings murmured echoes to us musically;
We see the moor and fen,
The moon-lit mountain snow,
Rain on the corn below,
The silver crescent of the tropic moon,
The day-dawn path with unguessed rapture strewn.
XXV
And we have passed the bounds of man’s derision;
Red-glaring witches howl
Striking at us in vain in mad division
Of helm and plume and cowl.
Swart, grinning warlocks swive
Each other, and they strive
To set envenomed fangs in us, lest we
Be curtained by the veil of Mystery.
XXVI
O hell-locked Mother of divine despair,
With gray eyes bright with pain;
O yearning Maiden with the streaming hair,
We called thee not in vain;
The shadowy pain is thine,
But we have brought thee wine,
Fresh from the Bacchic vats, and foaming grape
And must shall ease thy pain, and lend thee shape!
XXVII
Descent!...The airy dusk grows dark with boding
Of a new after-birth;
The toiling earth gives tokens of unloading
The secret; in her mirth
Shall be the Pagan spring,
And joyous echoing
O’er all her valleys and her hills that be
Set in the shadow of eternity.
XXVIII
The shadows of things lie in the old gray Hades,
Twin-born of man’s sad mind;
The formless echoes of old wars; the ladies
Of old, to warriors kind,
Enchant us; we are fain
To bring the past again
Into the earth, but we will crush the dream,
And wallow sweating in the mountain-stream,
XXIX
And storm the mountains; we are sick of dreaming
Of a dim past unknown;
Oh! for the sight once more of red blood streaming,
Of rotting warrior-bone,
Of eagles hovering far
Around the field of war,
Of lust and love and longing breaking through
The chill gray garb of life to flame anew.
XXX
The storied mystery of scarlet fancies
Beats down upon my skull;
The far-strung glamour of the spheres enhances
The vision wide and full,
The curtain lifts, and bares
A host of fulfilled prayers,
Hopes hidden in the gray garb of the earth
That wait some angel-trail for path to birth.
XXXI
O golden singers of the vanished ages,
O bards of olden fame,
Look down, look down upon my unscarred pages,
And touch my screed with flame;
Ah! let me be renewed
From your proud solitude;
Grant me the magic of the storied years,
Whose hearts are flame, fringed by your glorious tears.
XXXII
The Gods who hold me fawn upon me, seeking
To reach my inmost core,
But they are mine, within me ever speaking;
I silence them; they roar,
Striving to speak, but I
Hold them in check; they lie
Till I shall call them forth to my behest
To flood the world with rapture, or with rest.
XXXIII
O world of shadows, slowly disappearing
Under the Master’s wand!
O dawn of daylight, slowly, slowly nearing
From out the dark beyond!
Was it in vain I saw
The vision of the law
Growing still keener in the sharp blue air,
Unsummoned forth by incense or by prayer?
XXXIV
I know not, but I know the way is darkened
By myriad pilgrim feet;
I only know that my lone ear hath hearkened
Unto the rhythmic beat
Of thund’rous, deafening drums,
Unto whose spell succumbs
The outlawed watcher by the inner gate,
Who through the hours of gloom doth meditate.
XXXV
Yea! And from me the world hath slowly faded;
I find no light at all.
Only the long, still, shadowy things, unaided,
Creep upwards for a fall
Into the dark abyss
Where time’s black serpents hiss
Their hateful paean of the old despair,
Their envy of the blue crystalline air.
XXXVI
And lo! We find the Panic revel over,
The cups down-turned; the grape
Is trampled level with the lowly clover;
There is no brooding shape,
Bright-eyed, bright-winged, and strong
As a piped mountain-song
In the keen Alpine air: No joy is here,
Only the shadow of man’s foolish fear.
XXXVII
The revellers are fled; where, no man knoweth,
Save it be whence they came;
The chill, dull wind of desolation bloweth
Upon the flickering flame
Of the old lost delight:
There is no garland bright
On the brows of the old Hermaphrodite, whose eyes
Glowed ever newly once with new surprise.
XXXVIII
Oh, shadows, shadows, shadows, shadows ever;
They lisp, the fools, their song:
But where is fled the lusty, wild endeavour
To right the ancient wrong?
They mouth their feeble prayer
Unto the empty air....
But we will bring the past, the past, again,
The lust of joy, the rapture and the pain!
XXXIX
It shall be mine, O Master, in my singing
To call the brooding light
Back to the earth; would that my soul were winging
To victory through the night!
Yea! And it shall be mine
To pour the sacred wine,
And make men drunk with ecstasy as I,
Drunken with joy whether I live or die.
XL
What do they know of joy? They tamely wander
In barren paths and straight;
With down-cast modest eyes they sit and ponder
Outside the mystic gate.
But roses, roses flame,
As ever, since they came
From the wild marriage-bed of young Desire,
And younger Love, the children of the Fire.
XLI
Give me thy wine! So shall my song unending
Break through the barren prayer
Of fear and fashion; let the mystic blending
Of perfumes fill the air
With hues of light and things
Unutterable; the stings
Of joy shall pierce men’s hearts, and there shall be
Unending, throbbing, passioned ecstasy.
XLII
Grant me again thy lyre! Let me awaken
The old eternal spring;
So shall each soul with pangs of birth be shaken,
Let the good juices sting.
The song I craved is mine,
Thy song of blood and brine;
Men shall stand naked, unashamed and free,
To flaunt abroad their new-born ecstasy!
XLIII
Nor dream I, for too surely men shall waken,
Now that the day is born,
And all thy chosen ones shall be o’ertaken
By the young feet of morn.
Grant me, Eros, thy kiss,
That I may speak thy bliss –
The revel and the rapture and the feast,
The Paean, and the Crowning of the Beast!
XLIV
Yea! And thy lyre is mine, and I am fearless,
Naked, and free, and young;
The torch is out; no longer night is cheerless;
The hot young day is sprung
From out the loins of God!
Rise from the barren sod,
Raise high the Paean of the God in Man!
Io Triumphe! Hail to the new-born Pan!
SOME OBSERVATIONS INTO THE THELEMIC
GEMATRIA OF LIBER AL vel LEGIS
Sub figura CCXX
As delivered by XCIII = 418 to DCLXVI
PART ONE
BY
AUDRAREP
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Love is the law, love under will.
Aleister Crowley (666) received the Law of Thelema, which comprises the three chapters of the Book of the Law [Liber Al vel Legis] in Cairo, on April 8, 9 and 10, 1904 e.v. between noon and one o’clock on each consecutive day. Aiwass, an entity who called himself ‘the minister of Hoor-Paar-Kraat’, (the Lord of Silence), dictated it to him. The inception of the new ‘aeon of Horus’ is well documented in Crowley’s writings and therefore it is not necessary for me to dwell upon. Like all Thelemites I find inspiration in the Book of the Law and become enveloped in its mystery of words; its rich and yet obscure beauty; its enlightened ciphers and codes, which for most give proof to its praeter-human origins. I do not profess to be a scholar of the Kabbalah and nor do I fall into the pit of pretence of having any ‘authority’ on the subject.
I am a student of Magick; a Thelemite who accepts the word of the aeon of Horus into his heart and rejoices at the love of Nu! I bring no great revelations, yet I put forward some suggestions, some of which are already well established and others are my own thoughts, which may help pour forth some light upon the darkness of the aspirant, for we are all born of darkness. It is my opinion that the study of the ‘book’ is a personal matter where one may grow, develop and attain in accordance with one’s own knowledge and capabilities, to illuminate the Great Work in each of us. However, I do believe that accepted and accumulated data as to research be made available and added to in accordance with new-enlightened ideas; the Law, by its very nature must evolve and not become static and dogmatic.
Audrarep.
Liber AL vel Legis
sub figura CCXX
as delivered by XCIII = 418 to DCLXVI
Chapter I
1. Had! The manifestation of Nuit.
The first verse declares that through Hadit, Nuit manifests, thus to say that these two entities depend on each other and cannot exist as separate ‘beings’; they are the opposite or complement to each other. Hadit’s nature is to ‘go’ for he is motion, and Nuit’s nature is matter for she is revealed where Hadit remains concealed. Also, notice that the first verse of chapter one begins with five words and five is the pentagram, which is a symbol of Hadit. Had in full is HH-ALP-DLT=555.
2. The unveiling of the company of heaven.
The company of heaven is humanity and the unveiling is the removal of the old acceptance that god exists ‘without’ and that we are to do His will. The new aeon teaches that we are all ‘stars’ travelling in our own orbits which is the centre of our universe; we each recognize the flame of illumination in all other independent ‘stars’ or ‘beings’ that we encounter and understand that they too are the centre of their own universe. God is ‘within’ each of us and through initiation and the Law of Thelema we become that God.
3. Every man and every woman is a star.
We are all an expression of the ‘self god’ and thus interlinked with one and other in the ‘body of Nuit’ which is the limitless light of space (ain soph). As stars, we cannot help but become exposed to other stars and affect them by the power of will. This will can have a devastating and negative effect upon another and weaken them or even destroy them through this collision, which is to corrupt the ‘self god’ and in turn destroy one’s self. Therefore, we are told to respect the inner light within all of us and to remember ‘love is the law, love under will’.
4. Every number is infinite; there is no difference.
A reiteration of the previous verse stating once again the importance of accepting the logic that there is no difference between one thing and another thing; to delude one’s self that one thing is greater than another is to pander to that false god, the ego, which is surely to place one’s foot upon the path of the black brotherhood.
5. Help me, o warrior lord of Thebes, in my unveiling before the Children of men!
The ‘warrior lord of Thebes’ is Ankh-f-na-Khonsu, the Priest of Mentu, in the Temple of Amen-Ra, the sun god of the 26th dynasty. He is depicted on the Stele of Revealing whose exhibit number at the Boulak Museum in Cairo was 666. Ankh-f-na-Khonsu translates as ‘His life is in Khonsu’ Crowley believed himself to have been Ankh-f-na-Khonsu in a previous life and details of this can be found in ‘Across the Gulf’, The Equinox, volume I, number VII. The capital C of children indicates another meaning and perhaps it refers to the grade of Babe of the Abyss.
6. Be thou Hadit, my secret centre, my heart & my tongue!
In verse six, we are urged by Aiwass speaking as Nuit to identify ourselves with Hadit. The secret centre, heart and tongue are an allusion to the upper supernal triad of Kether, Chokhmah and Binah. ‘Be thou Hadit’ also contains 11 letters and the sentence including the ampersand has 11 words.
7. Behold! it is revealed by Aiwass the minister of Hoor-paar-kraat.
AIWASS (6 letters, 6=the sun) by Greek numeration = 1+10+6+1+200+200=418 - (ABRAHADABRA). A is the letter of AIR, I is the Father, V is the Son and S is the letter of Fire. (Aiwass also has the Hebrew spelling OIVZ [AIWAZ] 70+10+6+7=93 and refers to another aspect of his nature. Aleph=ONE, O in the Tarot which is the Fool, the element of Air. Also Aleph/One= the male principle (Phallus) and Aleph/O the female principle (Kteis). Also, note there are 52 letters in the verse. Hoor-paar-kraat is the god of silence, the babe in the egg of blue who is the symbol of the Holy Guardian Angel.
8. The Khabs is in the Khu, not the Khu in the Khabs.
Khabs= star, the self god within each of us; the innermost light which is LVX and Khu is the subtle robe in which it is housed, beyond the veil of the mind and the body. Also, notice KHU 20+5+6=31 and KU 20+6=26.
9. Worship then the Khabs, and behold my light shed over you!
The Khabs is the light of Nu and the verse contains 11 words, which is the number of Magick.
10. Let my servants be few & secret: they shall rule the many & the known.
11. These are fools that men adore; both their Gods & their men are fools.
12. Come forth, o children, under the stars, & take your fill of love!
Observe the equation (+1) + (-1) =O or 1 (-1) =O. Love=111 which is Aleph, the Fool. It is also a number of Binah= 1+1+1=3. The word ‘Fill’=6+10+30+30=76 (7+6=13= AChAD and XIII, Death in the Tarot.
13. I am above you and in you. My ecstasy is in yours. My joy is to see your joy.
Nuit through Aiwass is here stating that she is linked to the adept and shares his/her joy.
14. Above, the gemmed azure is
The naked splendour of Nuit;
She bends in ecstasy to kiss
The secret ardours of Hadit.
The winged globe, the starry blue,
Are mine, O Ankh-af-na-khonsu!
The verse describes poetically the distinction between Nuit, Hadit and Ankh-af-na-Khonsu as shown on the Stele of Revealing. Verse 14 contains 31 words.
15. Now ye shall know that the chosen priest & apostle of infinite space is the prince-priest the Beast; and in his woman called the Scarlet Woman is all power given. They shall gather my children into their fold: they shall bring the glory of the stars into the hearts of men.
Nuit through Aiwass is here giving the Beast the authority as prophet of the aeon of Horus the power to promulgate the Law of Thelema. Note that BEAST= 2+5+1+60+9=77 (OZ) also ThRION=400+200+10+6+50=666. ALL=1+30+30=61 (AL=31). ShT: (S=XX in the Tarot and T=XI in the Tarot). XX= the Stele of Revealing= Judgement, the end of an aeon. XI= Strength, Leo, Babalon & the Beast conjoined.
16. For he is ever a sun, and she a moon. But to him is the winged secret flame, and to her the stooping starlight.
The verse shows certain qualities of the Beast and the Scarlet Woman. HAD=5+1+4=10. The ‘winged secret flame’ is of course Hadit and the ‘stooping starlight’ is Nuit. The Sun and the Moon conjoined (planetary signs)= ShT – the sigil of the mark of the Beast forming a foreshortened phallus.
17. But ye are not so chosen.
18. Burn upon their brows, o splendrous serpent!
A reference to the kundalini as it reaches the ajna. The serpent is also Hadit.
19. O azure-lidded woman, bend upon them!
The ‘azure-lidded woman’ is Nuit.
20. The key of the rituals is in the secret word which I have given unto him.
This word is ABRAHADABRA the sacred word of 11 letters (5 vowels symbolic of man and the pentagram – microcosm and 6 consonants symbolic of God and the hexagram – macrocosm. It represents the accomplishment of the Great Work, which is the union of the microcosm and the macrocosm (5+6=11).
21. With the God & the Adorer I am nothing: they do not see me. They are as upon the earth; I am Heaven, and there is no other God than me, and my lord Hadit.
The union of Hadit and Nuit by and act of will and love.
22. Now, therefore, I am known to ye by my name Nuit, and to him by a secret name which I will give him when at last he knoweth me. Since I am Infinite Space, and the Infinite Stars thereof, do ye also thus. Bind nothing! Let there be no difference made among you between any one thing & any other thing; for thereby there cometh hurt.
This ‘secret name’ is BABALON =2+1+2+1+30+70+50=156. The adept will receive certain knowledge when he/she is ready in respect of ‘secret names’ which will have special relevance to the work of the adept. Also note: ‘ANY’=1+50+10=61. ‘HIM’=5+10+40=55. ‘HURT’=5+6+200+9=220 (220 are the number of verses in The Book of the Law).
23. But whoso availeth in this, let him be the chief of all!
24. I am Nuit, and my word is six and fifty.
Nuit=NU=50+6=56. (6= vau ,the bull and the sun; 50= nun, the scorpion). N of NU= Infinite Space and U= the Infinite Stars thereof. ITH is Her great creative force which is extended in TH.
25. Divide, add, multiply, and understand.
‘Divide’ = 6 divided by 50= O.12
O= The circumference= Nuit.
.=The centre= Hadit.
1= The unity preceding Ra-Hoor-Khuit.
2= The Coptic H, shape closely resembles the Arabic 2= The breath of life – Thoth/conciousness.
‘Addition’ = 6+50=56= NU, and concentrating 5+6=11.
‘Multiply’ =6x50= 300 (Shin) – Ruach Elohim, the Holy Spirit.
26. Then saith the prophet and slave of the beauteous one: Who am I, and what shall be the sign? So she answered him, bendingdown, a lambent flame of blue, all-touching, all penetrant, her lovely hands upon the black earth, & her lithe body arched for love, and her soft feet not hurting the little flowers: Thou knowest! And the sign shall be my ecstasy, the consciousness of the continuity of existence, the omnipresence of my body.
27. Then the priest answered & said unto the Queen of Space, kissing her lovely brows, and the dew of her light bathing his whole body in a sweet-smelling perfume of sweat: O Nuit, continuous one of Heaven, let it be ever thus; that men speak not of Thee as One but as None; and let them speak not of thee at all, since thou art continuous!
Nuit above the Abyss is not ‘one’ but ‘none’.
28. None, breathed the light, faint & faery, of the stars, and two.
NONE=(NVNE)=50+6+50+5=111.
29. For I am divided for love's sake, for the chance of union.
UNION by the Tarot = V+XIII+IX+XV+XIII=55.
30. This is the creation of the world, that the pain of division is as nothing, and the joy of dissolution all.
31. For these fools of men and their woes care not thou at all! They feel little; what is, is balanced by weak joys; but ye are my chosen ones.
ONES by the Tarot = V+XIII+XVII+XX (S as Shin) =55.
32. Obey my prophet! follow out the ordeals of my knowledge! seek me only! Then the joys of my love will redeem ye from all pain. This is so: I swear it by the vault of my body; by my sacred heart and tongue; by all I can give, by all I desire of ye all.
33. Then the priest fell into a deep trance or swoon, & said unto the Queen of Heaven; Write unto us the ordeals; write unto us the rituals; write unto us the law!
34. But she said: the ordeals I write not: the rituals shall be half known and half concealed: the Law is for all.
The ordeals are brought about by the process of initiation and are there to challenge the candidate and are usually given in the most ordinary of ways which shall be known to the adept;. ‘an aspirant on the threshold of Initiation finds himself assailed by the ‘’complexes’’ which have corrupted him, their externalization excruciating him, and his agonized reluctance to their elimination plunging him into such ordeals that he seems (both to himself and others) to have turned from a noble and upright man into an unutterable scoundrel’. [Quoting Crowley from ‘What you should know about the Golden Dawn’. I. Regardie. (Phoenix; Falcon Press. 1985, p 77.
The idea of having the rituals and ordeals stated in a formalized way would create dogma and produce that detested institution – a ‘church’, which is the exact opposite of the desired effect of this ‘kiss to mankind’ – man is to seek within and not look to a ‘Papal’ figure for guidance where the word can become twisted; each for themselves.
35. This that thou writest is the threefold book of Law.
LAW in Greek is NOMOC from NEM, in Latin = NEMO. Law in Hebrew is ThORA.
36. My scribe Ankh-af-na-khonsu, the priest of the princes, shall not in one letter change this book; but lest there be folly, he shall comment thereupon by the wisdom of Ra-Hoor-Khuit.
37. Also the mantras and spells; the obeah and the wanga; the work of the wand and the work of the sword; these he shall learn and teach.
The art of Magick is something we all do whether we realize it or not for all acts are magical acts. OBEAH (OBAH=78), the magick of the secret light, the acts. WANGA=6+1+50+3+1=61 which is the verbal and mental correspondence of the same. Also OB (AUB=9) is connected to the word ‘obey’. The ‘work of the wand’ creates union, and the ‘work of the sword’ creates division.
38. He must teach; but he may make severe the ordeals.
39. The word of the Law is THELEMA.
THELEMA=93 by Greek Kabbalah. Written in full it is 2542 (2+5+4+2=13 AChAD [unity] and AHBH [love] also O in the Tarot, the Fool).
40. Who calls us Thelemites will do no wrong, if he look but close into the word. For there are therein Three Grades, the Hermit, and the Lover, and the man of Earth. Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
These three grades of the Thelemite are the Man of Earth which symbolizes the material aspect of the adept; the Lover whose passion towards the Great Work is boundless and the Hermit who works solitary but not in seclusion and dedicates his life unto the Law of Thelema and the Great Work. There is a further meaning= THELEMA= (THE) which is the Hermit (Yod); (LE ) the Lovers (Zain), the lightening flash and (MA) the Man of Earth (Pe) The Blasted Tower. These three keys equal 31, which is LA (Not), and AL (God); also, Thelema= Nuit,the All embracing 31x3=93. THE=14, the pentagram and the rule of spirit over matter. The Hierophant (vau) also Leo/Aries, the Lion and the Ram; LE=38, the key= ABRAHADABRA=418, divided by the number of its letters which is 11=Justice or Balance. MA=41, the inverted pentagram which symbolises matter dominant over spirit; the Hanged Man and the Fool – those who have not accepted the Law of Thelema.
‘Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law’ has 11 words and contains 37 letters (111 divided by 3=37).
41. The word of Sin is Restriction. O man! refuse not thy wife, if she will! O lover, if thou wilt, depart! There is no bond that can unite the divided but love: all else is a curse. Accursed! Accursed be it to the aeons! Hell.
The verse states that there is no shame in sex and that it should be a joyous occasion and flow forth naturally and un-restricted. It reiterates the fact that all bodies are stars, each travelling in their own orbit. Stars may come together in pleasure without the fear of hurt, and sin and the old beliefs of ownership etc. ‘O Man’ seems to indicate certain ordeals for the man of earth grade and ‘O Lover’ seems to do the same for the Lover grade. ‘The word of Sin is Restriction’ contains 25 letters. WILL=WLL (6+30+30) =66. HELL=HLL (5+30+30) =65.
42. Let it be that state of manyhood bound and loathing. So with thy all; thou hast no right but to do thy will.
43. Do that, and no other shall say nay.
If the aspirant is performing their true will then the universe will assist them and no other (or Nuit) can distract from the great work. NAY=50+1+10=61.
44. For pure will, unassuaged of purpose, delivered from the lust of result, is every way perfect.
45. The Perfect and the Perfect are one Perfect and not two; nay, are none!
46. Nothing is a secret key of this law. Sixty-one the Jews call it; I call it eight, eighty, four hundred & eighteen.
61= AIN the true nothing of Nuit which is 8, 80, 418.
8= Cheth, spelt in full it is 418. (Tau=400, Yod=10, Cheth=8).
418=ABRAHADABRA, the word of Ra-Hoor-Khuit.
80=(Pe) the letter of Ra-Hoor-Khuit.
47. But they have the half: unite by thine art so that all disappear.
HALF=5+1+30+6=42 (4+2=6 the Sun)
UNITE contains the name of NUIT and by addition is 6+50+10+9+5=80. By the Tarot we get: V+XIII+IX+XI+XVII=55 Malkuth, the Bride. The word also looks as if there is a possible formula hidden: 5 letters= pentagram which is the symbol of Hadit. By dividing the word into three sections so that we have UN (NU reversed) – IT – E we can extract the word Nuit to leave the letter E which will give us a dominant factor for further equations, such as UN+E (56+5)=61. Also IT (10+9) =19= the Serpent, Leo, Strength, Ra-Hoor-Khuit, Lion, XI in the Tarot (Lust) and the letter Teth. It is solar in influence and represents the Phallus. 61=8+80+418=506. 506+61=567.
506 qabalistically backwards=605 and 605+61=666.
666=6x111 and 11=Aleph=O in the Tarot.
666=1+2+3+4+5+6……………+35+36=666, the sum of the numbers in the magic square of sol (the sun). 666 is the number of the Beast.
48. My prophet is a fool with his one, one, one; are not they the Ox, and none by the Book?
49. Abrogate are all rituals, all ordeals, all words and signs. Ra-Hoor-Khuit hath taken his seat in the East at the Equinox of the Gods; and let Asar be with Isa, who also are one. But they are not of me. Let Asar be the adorant, Isa the sufferer; Hoor in his secret name and splendour is the Lord initiating.
50. There is a word to say about the Hierophantic task. Behold! there are three ordeals in one, and it may be given in three ways. The gross must pass through fire; let the fine be tried in intellect, and the lofty chosen ones in the highest. Thus ye have star & star, system & system; let not one know well the other!
51. There are four gates to one palace; the floor of that palace is of silver and gold; lapis lazuli & jasper are there; and all rare scents; jasmine & rose, and the emblems of death. Let him enter in turn or at once the four gates; let him stand on the floor of the palace. Will he not sink? Amn. Ho! warrior, if thy servant sink? But there are means and means. Be goodly therefore: dress ye all in fine apparel; eat rich foods and drink sweet wines and wines that foam! Also, take your fill and will of love as ye will, when, where and with whom ye will! But always unto me.
The palace is Malkuth and the four gates are the elements, (this could also represent Light, Life, Love and Liberty). Amn Ho! (AMN=AMEN=91 or taking N as final=741) PALACE= HIKL=5+10+20+30=65 (Samekh 60 + Heh 5 by the Tarot is XIV+XVII=31.
52. If this be not aright; if ye confound the space-marks, saying: They are one; or saying, They are many; if the ritual be not ever unto me: then expect the direful judgments of Ra Hoor Khuit!
53. This shall regenerate the world, the little world my sister, my heart & my tongue, unto whom I send this kiss. Also, o scribe and prophet, though thou be of the princes, it shall not assuage thee nor absolve thee. But ecstasy be thine and joy of earth: ever To me! To me!
The heart is the symbol of love and intelligence and therefore represents Ra-Hoor-Khuit while the tongue is the organ of speech and represents Thoth. To me = To (Mu-eta) – ‘the not’ in Greek. Also ‘To Mu-eta’ = 418.
54. Change not as much as the style of a letter; for behold! thou, o prophet, shalt not behold all these mysteries hidden therein.
55. The child of thy bowels, he shall behold them.
56. Expect him not from the East, nor from the West; for from no expected house cometh that child. Aum! All words are sacred and all prophets true; save only that they understand a little; solve the first half of the equation, leave the second unattacked. But thou hast all in the clear light, and some, though not all, in the dark.
SOME=60+6+40+5=111
57. Invoke me under my stars! Love is the law, love under will. Nor let the fools mistake love; for there are love and love. There is the dove, and there is the serpent. Choose ye well! He, my prophet, hath chosen, knowing the law of the fortress, and the great mystery of the House of God.
All these old letters of my Book are aright; but [Tzaddi] is not the Star. This also is secret: my prophet shall reveal it to the wise.
58. I give unimaginable joys on earth: certainty, not faith, while in life, upon death; peace unutterable, rest, ecstasy; nor do I demand aught in sacrifice.
AUGHT=1+6+3+5+9=24
59. My incense is of resinous woods & gums; and there is no blood therein: because of my hair the trees of Eternity.
60. My number is 11, as all their numbers who are of us. The Five Pointed Star, with a Circle in the Middle, & the circle is Red. My colour is black to the blind, but the blue & gold are seen of the seeing. Also I have a secret glory for them that love me.
US=6+60=66 (66= verses in chapter one). 66 is also HOOR by the Tarot XVII+XV+XV+XIX=66. Also Allah (ALLH).
61. But to love me is better than all things: if under the night stars in the desert thou presently burnest mine incense before me, invoking me with a pure heart, and the Serpent flame therein, thou shalt come a little to lie in my bosom. For one kiss wilt thou then be willing to give all; but whoso gives one particle of dust shall lose all in that hour. Ye shall gather goods and store of women and spices; ye shall wear rich jewels; ye shall exceed the nations of the earth in splendour & pride; but always in the love of me, and so shall ye come to my joy. I charge you earnestly to come before me in a single robe, and covered with a rich headdress. I love you! I yearn to you! Pale or purple, veiled or voluptuous, I who am all pleasure and purple, and drunkenness of the innermost sense, desire you. Put on the wings, and arouse the coiled splendour within you: come unto me!
JOY=10+70+10=90= Tzaddi, the fish hook. Or 10+6+10=26= IHVH (Jehovah).
62. At all my meetings with you shall the priestess say -- and her eyes shall burn with desire as she stands bare and rejoicing in my secret temple -- To me! To me! calling forth the flame of the hearts of all in her love-chant.
A reference to the Gnostic Mass.
63. Sing the rapturous love-song unto me! Burn to me perfumes! Wear to me jewels! Drink to me, for I love you! I love you!
LOVE=30+70+6+5=111. In Greek it is AGAPE=93 and in Hebrew AHBH=1+5+2+5=13.
64. I am the blue-lidded daughter of Sunset; I am the naked brilliance of the voluptuous night-sky.
65. To me! To me!
66. The Manifestation of Nuit is at an end.
HAD+NV=10+56=66. Also, note that verse 66 contains 31 letters. 66=1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9+10+11 (The Tree of Life=10 Sephiroth and number 11 the Qliphoth). 66 is also Allah (ALLH 1+30+30+5) and notice ‘is at an end’ contains the word SATAN that is 300+1+9+1+50=361. This number (a perfect square) represents the supernals (3), the members of Ruach (6) and Malkuth (1). By the Tarot we get: XX+O+XI+O+XIII=44 (DM Blood).
BOLESKINE HOUSE
illustration: B. Van-Asten
BOLESKINE HOUSE
A BRIEF HISTORY
BY
BARRY VAN-ASTEN
SIMON, LORD FRASER OF LOVAT
Boleskine House stands on the South-Eastern shore of Loch Ness in Scotland and it was built around 1760 as a hunting lodge for the Honourable Archibald Campbell Fraser, born 16th August 1736 and dying on 8th December 1815. Archibald was the 38th Chief of the Fraser Clan and he was the 3rd son of Simon, the 11th Lord Fraser of Lovat who after a trial of five days was sentenced to death on 19th March 1747. He was beheaded at the Tower of London aged 80 years on 9th April 1747 for supporting the 1745 Jacobite Rebellion. He was the last man to be executed in this manner in Britain.
Archibald married Jane Fraser, in 1763, the daughter of William Fraser and sister of Sir William Fraser bart. Archibald and Jane had six sons, none of which lived beyond Archibald’s death in 1815 to continue the line and so the Lovat estate was transferred to a distant cousin Thomas Alexander Fraser of Strichen (1802-1875).
After 1782 and the death of Archibald’s elder half brother Lieutenant-General Simon Fraser, born 1726, Archibald inherited the family estate and also became a Member of Parliament for Inverness-shire. He also became Colonel of the 1st Inverness-shire local militia.
The house was built on land purchased from the Church on a site reputedly chosen to annoy Lord Lovat whose estate surrounded the property. There is a legend which states that the house may have been built on the site of a church which caught fire trapping the entire congregation who perished inside, but there is no evidence to prove this.
There is also the legend that the minister for Boleskine during the mid to late 17th century, the Reverend Thomas Houston was plagued by a local wizard who raised the bodies of the dead in the burial ground (indeed his own grave is located there) and that he had to lay the dead. There is some truth for we find in the ‘Publications of the Scottish History Society volume xxiv 1643-1688 edited, with an Introduction, from the Original Manuscript, by William Mackay [Edinburgh. 1896] that ‘In June 1670 Mr. Thomas Houston, minister of Boleskine, complained that ' his house had been laitly seized upon by Lochabber Robbers, himselfe threatened with naked swords and drawne durks at his brest, his money and household stuff plundered ; and seeing that one of their number suffered death laitly therefor at Inverness the rest of them were lieing in wait for his life, and threatening his ruine and dammage, so that in the evening he is affrayed to [be] burnt to ashes or [i.e. before] morning,' Mr. Houston had reason to be alarmed, for his predecessor had been barbarously murdered.’ [Introduction xv]. Also ‘In 1684, the minister of Boleskine reported 'that all persons of all ranks indifferently buried their dead within his church, not only his own parishioners, but some others of the neighbouring parishes, so that several coffins were hardly under ground, which was like to be very dangerous and noisome to the hearers of the word within the said church.' Boleskine was not worse than other parishes. The dogs that followed the people to church fought over the human bones that protruded through the earthen floor ; and for the malignant fevers that so often ravaged the country, the foul air which the worshippers breathed while they worshipped was not less responsible than the insanitary condition of their dwelling-houses.’ [Introduction xvii].
The house appeared in articles for let such as this: ‘Romantic Summer Residence in Inverness-shire, to be let, furnished, entry immediately, Boleskine Cottage, within a mile of the Falls of Foyers, the most celebrated of British cataracts, and 18 miles from Inverness, is to be let furnished for such period as may be agreed on. To a family that may desire a few months retreat to the romantic scenery of the Highlands, a more interesting situation but seldom offers. The cottage is slated, and being situated on a rising ground, commands a complete view of Lochness, from east to west. It consists of a spacious public room, of 32 feet in length, two large bed-rooms, and two wings, one of which contains kitchen and servants apartment; the interior of the other wing is not thoroughly furnished. The public post road passes within a few yards of the house, and a steam boat, between Inverness and Fort Augustus, touches at Foyers regularly every day during summer, by which conveyance all kinds of provisions may be depended on.’ [Caledonian Mercury. 4th May & 22nd July 1822]
During September to November 1849 John King Esq, a member of the Parochial Board of Inverness, was living at Boleskine Cottage and his Gamekeeper was Hugh Fraser. [Inverness Courier. Thursday 20th September and Thursday 22nd November 1849]
The Inverness Courier of Thursday 19th September 1850 states that a ‘Game Certificate’ for the period 6th July to 12th September was issued to J. S. Entwistle Esq, of Boleskine Cottage. From ‘The Sporting Review’ of January 1851 we see that on Boleskine and Dunmaglass Moors, ‘J. S. Entwistl Esq, got 400 brace of grouse.’
An ad appeared in the Inverness Courier of Thursday 7th February 1856 which reads: ‘Growing Larch, Ash, and Elm, for sale. In the Larch Wood at Boleskine, planted 30 years ago, and covering 8 acres or thereby, the half whereof, or about every second tree, is marked for sale. The circumference of this Larch is believed to be 35 inches at 3 feet from the base. The servant at Boleskine cottage, south side of Loch Ness, will point out the lot. Apply to the Proprietor. A. T. F. Fraser, of Abertarff, by Inverness.’
And again: ‘Furnished Residence, with or without Shootings & Fishings, to be let, with immediate entry. Boleskine Cottage, delightfully situated on the South Banks of Loch-Ness, about eighteen miles from Inverness, and one mile from the Falls of Foyers, together with Garden and 40 Acres of Land, partly planted and partly arable. Coach-House, and Four Stall-Stable, and with or without the superior Shootings and Fishings on Wester Aberchalder, extending to upwards of 2000 Acres, and within two miles of the cottage – will be let, with immediate entry, for such period as may be agreed on. The cottage contains two large Public-rooms, five Bed-rooms, four Dressing-rooms, and ample servant’s accommodation. This residence is one of the most attractive and commodious in the Highlands.
Loch-Ness affords ample Salmon and Trout fishing, other adjoining shootings may probably be had if desired. Application to be made to Donald Davidson, solicitor, Inverness; or to Mr Snowie, gun-maker, there. Inverness, 12th May 1859.’ [Inverness Courier. Thursday 19th May 1859]
Ads for the letting of Boleskine House in the Inverness Courier also appeared from March to July 1859; June to July 1862; July to August 1865 and April to August 1868.
On Saturday 18th February 1860 a man was drowned near Boleskine House. The Inverness Courier of Thursday 23rd February 1860 reported that ‘at about 5 pm, James Chisholm, servant to Captain Clavering, and Duncan Maclaren, shepherd, went out in a boat to set some lines, leaving a companion on the shore. On exchanging positions when about 40 yards from the shore, Maclaren resigning to Chisholm the sculls he had been pulling, the boat upset, and Maclaren being thrown to a distance struck out for the land, Chisholm clinging to the keel. The boat with Chisholm ultimately reached the shore, but Maclaren must have sunk, overcome with fatigue and the excessive cold’. Maclaren’s body was never found, but the most disturbing part of the story is that they had to ‘record most heartless conduct on the part of an onlooker, for we are credibly informed that he actually saw the boat upset and the poor men clinging to it, and then walked away to Inverfarigaig, a distance of a mile and a-half, without giving the least alarm, although Chisholm’s house was but 300 yards distant.’
‘Desirable Highland Residence on the South Bank of Loch-Ness, to be let’ says the Inverness Courier of Thursday 5th August 1869. It goes on to say that there is ‘Policies and Garden’ and ‘ample accommodation for a large family; a Four-stalled stable, Coach-House and Porter’s Lodge.’ Access to the house is easy ‘both by the County Road, which passes through the Grounds...and by Loch-Ness, on which steamers ply daily in Summer and Autumn, and twice a-week in Winter. Refer to the Proprietor, A. T. F. Fraser of Abertarff; or to D. Davidsaon, solicitor, Inverness; or to Mr Snowie, gun maker, there; or, in Edinburgh, to Aeneas Macbean, W. S.’
On 31st January 1887 ‘Mrs Janetta Fraser Macpherson Fraser, widow of the late Archibald Thomas Frederick Fraser of Abertarrf [died 1884], and great granddaughter of the Right honourable Simon, eleventh Lord Lovat (of the 45)’ died at Boleskine House. [Dundee Courier. Tuesday 8th February 1887] The house remained in the Fraser family until Crowley bought it in 1899.
ENTER ALEISTER CROWLEY
Crowley was looking for a ‘magical house’ to perform the ‘Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mage’. ‘The first essential is a house in a more or less secluded situation. There should be a door opening to the north from the room of which you make your oratory. Outside this door, you construct a terrace covered with fine river sand. This ends in a “lodge” where the spirits may congregate.’ [Confessions. p. 184]
While travelling through the Highlands in August 1899, Crowley stopped off at Foyers with the intention of seeing the Falls of Foyers and climbing some of the rocks around Loch Ness. It was from one of the rock faces that Crowley glimpsed the perfect location for performing the Sacred Magic – Boleskine House. The house was a large-one storey hunting lodge half way between Foyers and Inverfarigaig with extensive grounds incorporating a formal garden and orchard and various out-buildings such as stables etc. Opposite the house on the Loch-side was the ancient burial ground of the Fraser Clan and further beyond, across the Loch lay the romantic ruins of Urquhart Castle. The house seemed to be perfect for the Abra-Melin Operation:
‘If possible the whole of this Operation should be performed in a place where solitude can be obtained; the best being, as Abramelin writes: "Where there is a small wood, in the midst of which you shall make a small Altar, and you shall cover the same with a hut of fine branches, so that the rain may not fall thereon and extinguish the Lamps and the Censer." The Altar should be made of wood and in the manner of a cupboard, so that it may hold all the necessary things. There should be two tunics, one of linen, and the other of Crimson or Scarlet Silk with gold. The sacred oil is prepared from myrrh, cinnamon and galangal mixed with olive oil. The incense of Olibanum, storax, and lign aloes, or cedar, is reduced to a fine powder and well mixed together. The Wand is cut from an Almond tree.’ [The Equinox Volume 1, number III. The Temple of Solomon the King]
Crowley had made his mind up that he must have the house and so he contacted the owner Mary Rose Hill Burton, who after an initial denial accepted Crowley’s offer at twice the value of the house, paying £2000. By November 1899 Boleskine House belonged to Crowley.
Mary Rose Hill Burton was born on 11th July 1859 at Lauriston Place, Edinburgh. She was the daughter of the historian and political economist John Hill Burton born 22nd August 1809 in Gallowgate, Aberdeen and dying on 10th August 1881 at Morton House in Edinburgh. John Hill Burton is the author of such works as: ‘Jacobite correspondence of the Atholl Family’ (1840), ‘Life and correspondence of David Hume’ (1846), ‘Lives of Simon Lord Lovat and Duncan Forbes of Culluden’ (1847), ‘Narrative from Criminal Trials in Scotland’ (1852), and ‘History of the Reign of Queen Anne’ (1880). Mary is his daughter by his 2nd marriage (after his first wife Isabella’s death in 1849) to Katherine Innes born in 1824 the daughter of the Judge, historian and antiquary, Cosmo Nelson Innes (1798-1874). Cosmo was the author of several works including: ‘Scotland in the Middle Ages’ (1860), ‘Sketches of early Scottish History’ (1861), ‘Ancient Laws and Customs of the Burghs of Scotland A.D. 1124-1424 (1868) and ‘Lectures on Scottish Legal Antiquities’ (1872). John and Katherine were married on 3rd August 1855 at St Pauls, York Place, Edinburgh. Along with daughter Mary they had three more children: William Kinninmond Burton (1856-1899), Rose Burton (1857-1858) and Cosmo Innes Burton (1862-1890).
Mary Rose Hill Burton studied under the Edinburgh Association for the University Education of Women and she became an artist. She died on 5th June 1900 in Rome, Italy, no doubt either visiting or living there on the proceeds of the sale of Boleskine House to Aleister Crowley for twice the market value of the property.
Her obituary appeared in the Standard: ‘Miss Mary Rose Hill Burton, a daughter of the historian Mr John Hill Burton, by his second wife Katherine Rose, daughter of the late sheriff Cosmo Innes, of Morayshire, died last week in Rome. She was born in Edinburgh and was educated at Paris, where she devoted herself enthusiastically to the study of art. In landscapes and interiors she attained most distinction, her style being that of the French school, and she was an exhibitor at the Royal Academy, where a canvas of hers, “keening” exhibited in 1892, attracted much attention. Fond of travelling, she, a few years since, paid a visit to her brother, William, in Japan, where he was consulting engineer to the Mikado, and brought home with her several clever sketches, which she afterwards exhibited in her own room in London, and one of which, at least, “Iris Garden at Tokyo”, was shown on the wall of the Royal Academy of 1896. The deceased lady was about forty years of age.’ [The London Standard. Friday 15th June 1900]
Mary was opposed to the British Aluminium Company (formed in 1895) building their works at Foyers to supply the Inverness District with electricity. The smelting plant was to use the Falls of Foyers for its power. Mary was ‘one of two Stratherrick residents who voted to limit and contain British Aluminium’s development in the area.[...] Mary Rose Hill Burton, for example, drew and painted the Falls as much as she could prior to British Aluminium’s takeover.’ [Artistic Advocate: Mary Rose Hill Burton and the Falls of Foyers. Janice Helland. Journal of Scottish Historical Studies. Scottish Economic and Social History. Volume 17. Page 127. November. 1997]
Her mother Katherine died in 1898, on Tuesday 29th November in Boleskine House, Stratherrick, Inverness. Katherine was an active campaigner for women’s education and suffrage and she was the author of ‘Memoir of Cosmo Innes’ published by W. Paterson in 1874, and ‘Memoir of Mrs Crudelius’ published in 1879. Katherine also wrote a memoir of her husband John Hill Burton which appeared in the preface to his book ‘The Book Hunter’ (1882). Her death notice appeared in the ‘Inverness Courier’ dated Friday 2nd December 1898: 'Died, at Boleskine House, suddenly, Katherine Innes, aged 71, eldest Daughter of the late Cosmo Innes, and Widow of the late John Hill Burton. R.I.P. Funeral from Boleskine to Stratherrick at 12, on Saturday 3rd December. Requiem Mass at 11 at Boleskine. All are invited to attend.'
The following year, Boleskine House was ‘for let’ according to the Inverness Courier of Tuesday 23rd May 1899. [it was also advertised to let in the Inverness Advertiser on the following dates: Tuesday 5th April 1859, Tuesday 16th April 1867 and Tuesday 3rd August 1869]
Many myths have developed around the house from the time of Crowley’s ownership which include those of a local butcher cutting off his own hand with a cleaver and dying after receiving a note from Crowley scribbled on a piece of paper with a spell on the reverse. There are also rumours that a tunnel exists and runs from the cellars of Boleskine House to the burial ground which lies below the house by the loch side. Crowley says in his ‘Confessions’ that he had ‘picked out Boleskine for its loneliness. Lord Lovat and Mrs Fraser-Tytler, my nearest neighbours, were eight miles away, while Grant of Glenmoriston was on the other side of Loch Ness. Besides, Boleskine was already the centre of a thousand legends.
Even before I came there there was a fine crop of the regular Highland superstitions. I certainly used to hear the “rolling of the head”, but when I put in a billiard table, the old gentleman preferred it to the corridor and confined his amusements to the gunroom. Even before that, he had always stopped at the Pylon of the corridor which marked off from the rest of the house the wing which was consecrated to Abra-Melin. I have never discovered any explanation of these noises. We used to listen at the door of the gunroom, and the head would roll merrily up and down the table with untiring energy. The moment we opened the door the noise would stop; but there would be no visible cause.
During my absence, the reputation of the house had become more formidable than ever before. I have little doubt that the Abra-Melin devils, whatever they are, used the place as convenient headquarters and put in some of their spare time in terrifying the natives. No one would pass the house after dark. Folk got into the habit of going round through Strath Errick, a detour of several miles. There were a great many definite legends; but I made rather a point of refraining from making a collection. I was completely committed to rationalism and the occurrence of miracles was a nuisance. I should have liked to deny the reality of the whole Abra-Melin business, but the phenomena were just as patent as the stones of the house.’ [Confessions. p. 358-359]
THE SACRED MAGIC OF ABRAMELIN THE MAGE
On Wednesday 7th February 1900 Crowley was at Boleskine House and settling into Highland life: ‘The house is a long low building. I set apart the south-western half for my work. The largest room has a bow window and here I made my door and constructed the terrace and lodge. Inside the room I set up my oratory proper. This was a wooden structure, lined in part with the big mirrors which I brought from London.’ [Confessions. p. 184] These of course, are the mirrors Crowley had installed at his flat in Chancery Lane, London.
By Saturday 24th February he began making his preparations for the Sacred Magic of Abramelin, (which must begin at Easter), taking his ‘Oath of the Beginning’ on that day:
‘I, Perdurabo, Frater Ordinis Rosae Rubeae et Aureae Crucis, a Lord of the Paths in the Portal of the Vault of the Adepts, a 5°=6□ of the Order of the Golden Dawn; and an humble servant of the Christ of God; do this day spiritually bind myself anew:
By the sword of vengeance:
By the Powers of the Elements:
By the Cross of Suffering:
That I will devote myself to the Great Work: the obtaining of Communion with my own Higher and Divine Genius (called the Guardian Angel) by means of the prescribed course; and that I will use my Power so obtained unto the Redemption of the Universe.
So help me the Lord of the Universe and mine own Higher Soul!
The Obligation of the Operation
I, Perdurabo, in the Presence of the Lord of the Universe, and of all Powers Divine and Angelic, do spiritually bind myself, even as I am now physically bound unto the Cross of Suffering.
(1) To unite my consciousness with the divine, as I may be permitted and aided by the Gods Who live for ever, The Aeons of Infinite years; that, being lost in the Limitless Light, it may find itself: to the regeneration of the Race, either of man or as the Will of God shall be. And I submit myself utterly to the Will Divine.
(2) To follow out with courage, modesty, loving-kindness and perseverance the course prescribed by Abra-Melin the Mage; as far as in me lies, unto the attainment of this end.
(3) To despise utterly the things and the opinions of this world lest they hinder me in doing this.
(4) To use my powers only to the Spiritual well-being of all with whom I may be brought into contact.
(5) To give no place to Evil: and to make eternal war against the Forces of Evil: until even they be redeemed unto the Light.
(6) To harmonize my own spirit so that Equilibrium may lead me to the East; and that my Human Consciousness shall allow no usurpation of its rule by the Automatic.
(7) To conquer the temptations.
(8) To banish the illusions.
(9) To put my whole trust in the Only and Omnipotent Lord God: as it is written, ‘Blessed are they that put their trust in Him.’
(10)To uplift the Cross of Sacrifice and Suffering; and to cause my Light so to shine before men that they may glorify my Father which is in Heaven.
Furthermore, I most solemnly promise and swear: to acquire this Holy Science in the manner prescribed in the Book of Abra-Melin, without omitting the least imaginable thing of its contents; not to gloss or comment in any way on that which may be or may not be, not to use this Sacred Science to offend the Great God, nor to work ill unto my neighbour: to communicate it to no living person, unless by long practice and conversation I shall know him thoroughly, well examining whether such an one really intendeth to work for the Good or for the Evil. I will punctually observe, in granting it, the same fashion which was used by Abra-Melin to Abraham. Otherwise, let him who receiveth it draw no fruit therefrom. I will keep myself as from a Scorpion from selling this Science. Let this Science remain in me and in my generation as long as it shall please the Most High.
As all these points I generally and severally swear to observe under the awful penalty of the displeasure of God, and of Him to whose Knowledge and Conversation I do most ardently aspire. So help me the Lord of the Universe, and my own Higher Soul!’
At Boleskine Crowley kept a small twenty page book in which he recorded his magical work titled ‘The Book of the Operation of the Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mage. (Being the account of the events of my life, with notes on the operation by P., an humble Aspirant thereto.)’ After the ‘Oath of the Beginning’ the rest of the book which commences from November 1899 and ends in February 1900 is divided into three sections dealing with the events of his life during that period; the ‘Operation of the Sacred Magic of Abra-Melin’, and finally with MacGregor Mathers and the Golden Dawn business which caused Crowley to postpone the working of the ‘Sacred Magic’.
Also at this time Crowley was receiving visions through the process of skrying and ‘Rising on the Planes’ as taught in the Golden Dawn.: ‘In bed, I invoked the Fire angels and spirits on the tablet, with names, etc., and the 6th Key. I then (as Harpocrates) entered my crystal. An angel, meeting me, told me among other things, that they (of the tablets) were "at war with the angels of the 30 AEthyrs, to prevent the squaring of" "the circle." I went with him unto the abodes of Fire, but must have fallen asleep, or nearly so. Anyhow, I regained consciousness in a very singular state half consciousness being there, and half here. I recovered and banished the Spirits, but was burning all over, and tossed restlessly about... very sleepy, but consumed of fire! Only repeated careful assumption of Harpocrates' god-form enabled me to regain my normal state. I had a long dream of a woman eloping, whom I helped, and after of a man stealing my Rose Cross jewel from a dressing-table in a hotel. I caught him and found him a weak man beyond natural (I could bend or flatten him at will), and then the dream seemed to lose coherence. ... I carried him about and found a hair-brush to beat him, &c. &c. Query: Was I totally obsessed?’
And again: ‘Invoking the angels of Earth I obtained a wonderful effect. The angel, my guide, treated me with great contempt and was very rude and truthful. He shewed me divers things. In the centre of the earth is formulated the Rose and Cross. Now the Rose is the Absolute Self-Sacrifice, the merging of "all" in the 0 (Negative) the Universal Principle of generation through change ("not" merely the feminine), and the Universal Light "Khabs" The Cross is the Extension or Pekht principle. Now I should have learned more but my attention wandered. This closes the four elemental visions: prosecuted, alas! with what weakness, fatuity, and folly!’ Also: ‘I ... in the afternoon shut myself up, and went on a journey. ... I went with a very personal guide: and beheld (after some lesser things) our Master as he sate by the Well with the Woman of Samaria. Now the five husbands were five great religions which had defiled the purity of the Virgin of the World: and "he whom thou now hast" was materialism (or modern thought). Other scenes also I saw in His life: and behold I also was crucified! Now did I go backwards in time even unto Berashith, the Beginning, and was permitted to see marvellous things. First the Abyss of the Water: on which I, even I, brooded amid other dusky flames as S upon M held by my Genius. And I beheld the victory of Ra upon Apophis and the First of the Golden Dawns! Yea: and monsters, faces half-formed, arose: but they subsisted not. And the firmament was. Again the Chaos and the Death! Then "Ath" Hashamaim v. "ath" h-aretz. There is a whirling intertwining infinitude of nebulae, many concentric systems, each system non-concentric to any other, yet "all" concentric to the whole. As I went backwards in time they grew faster and faster, and less and less material. (P.S. This is the scientific hypothesis, directly contrary to that of Anna Kingsford), and at last are whirling wheels of light: yet through them "waved" a thrill of an intenser invisible light in a direction perpendicular to the tangents. I asked to go yet further back and behold! I am floating on my back cast down! in a wind of Light flashing down upon me from the immeasurable Above. (This Light is of a blueish silver tinge.) And I saw that Face, lost above me in the height inscrutable: a face of absolute beauty. And I saw as it were a Lamb slain in the Glamour of Those Eyes. Thus was I made pure: for there, what impunity could live? I was told that not many had been so far back: none further: those who "could" go farther would not, since that would have reabsorbed them into the Beginning, and that must not be to him who hath sworn to uplift the Standard of Sacrifice and Sorrow, which is strength. (I forgot the Angels in the Planetary Whirl. They regarded me with curiosity: and were totally unable to comprehend my explanation that I was a "Man, returning in time to behold the" "Beginning of Things.)" " Now was I able to stand in my Sephiroth: and the Crown of Twelve Stars" "was upon my head! I then went into the centre of the earth (I suppose) and" "stood upon the " top of an high mountain. The many dragons and guardians I was able to overpower by "authority." Now the mount was of glistening whiteness, exceeding white as snow: yet dead and unluminous. And I beheld a vision, even like unto that of the Universal Mercury; and I learnt that I myself was sulphur and unmercurial. Now having attained the Mercurialising of my Sulphur I was able (in my vision) to fecundate the mountain (of Salt). And it was instantly transmuted into gold. What came ye out into the wilderness for to see? No: into living, glowing, molten Light: the Light that redeemeth the material world! So I returned: having difficulty to find the earth (?). But I called on S.R.M.D. [‘S Rioghail Mo Dhream: MacGregor Mathers] and V.N.R. [Vestigia Nulla Retrorsum: Moina Bergson Mathers] who were glad to see me; and returned into the body: to waste the night in gibing at a foolish medico.’ [The Equinox, Volume I, number III. The Temple of Solomon the king: ‘The Magician’]
Crowley had asked Golden Dawn member George Cecil Jones (1873-1960) [Frater Volo Noscere] to join him for the six month operation to assist him with the ordinary day to day business at Boleskine but he declined. Crowley then asked another Golden Dawn member Charles Henry Rosher (1858-1936) [Frater Aequo Animo] who accepted but after less than a month he suddenly and mysteriously left one morning without so much as a ‘good-bye’ to Crowley. An old Cambridge friend also came but ‘within a few weeks he began to display symptoms of panic and strange fears, stating that there were “presences” in the place of an evil nature. At length he left me, and I carried on alone.’ [‘The Magician of Loch Ness: Uncanny Happenings at Manor of Boleskine’. Empire News. 12th November 1933]
The phenomena which occurred were certainly enough to test a man’s nerves; but Crowley dared to do things which other men of his generation dared not think of, much less speak about. The sinister influence was not confined to the house. Crowley’s lodge-keeper, “a total abstainer for twenty years”, became “raving drunk for three days” and “tried to kill his wife and children”. [Aleister Crowley the Black Magician. C.R. Cammell. 1951. p.43 (1969 ed)]
Crowley left Boleskine and went to visit MacGregor Mathers in Paris on Monday 15th January 1900. The next day Mathers initiated Crowley into the Second Order of the Golden Dawn as an Adeptus Minor 5°=6□ . Crowley returned to Scotland and reached Boleskine on Wednesday 7th February. On his return from Paris he met his friend, the climber Oscar Eckenstein (1859-1921) in London and invited him back to Boleskine. They enjoyed the ski-laufing and the salmon.
The Abramelin operation was interrupted in April 1900 by squabbles within the Golden Dawn, and Crowley, acting on the Head of the Golden Dawn, MacGregor Mather’s (who was in Paris) was given the task to clear up the mess which was ensuing from the Isis-Urania Temple of the Second Order at 36 Blythe Road, Hammersmith, London. [see Crowley’s ‘Confessions’ and Kaczynski’s ‘Perdurabo’ for an account of this]
With the Sacred Magic interrupted and having to wait at least another year, Crowley returned to Boleskine after Easter for a few days and then set off to Paris before sailing for New York and heading for Mexico where another chapter of adventure begins!
LAIRD BOLESKINE
Apart from a few days in Edinburgh from Monday 13th July to restock his wine cellar Crowley was at Boleskine during the spring of 1903 with the intention once again to continue the Sacred Magic of Abramelin but matters took a different course. On Wednesday 12th August 1903 he married Rose Edith Kelly at Dingwall, in Scotland. Rose Edith Skerrett (1874-1932) as she was known was the daughter of the Reverend Frederic Festus Kelly (1838-1918) and sister of the artist and friend of Crowley’s from Cambridge University Gerald Festus Kelly (1879-1972).
While Crowley was enjoying these romantic pursuits Boleskine House was in the hands of his long-time friend since childhood, Louis Charles Richard Duncomb Jewell (1866-1947). He was the eldest son of a Plymouth Brother and he became a Roman Catholic and called himself Ludovic Cameron. He had originally intended to spend a week at Boleskine during July/August 1903 but he and Crowley got on so well that he stayed longer and took care of matters at the house until Aleister and Rose returned from a short honeymoon in western Scotland on Friday 14th August.
Duncomb Jewell also began a bibliography of Crowley’s published works and this is printed in The Collected Works of Aleister Crowley, volume III (1907): ‘Towards an outline of a Bibliography of the writings in Prose and Verse of Aleister Crowley.’ Appendix A.
On their return home from Paris in the summer of 1904, Aleister and Rose ‘wandered back to Boleskine, after arranging with a doctor named Percival Bott [1877-1953] to come and stay with us and undertake the accouchement. I asked my Aunt Annie to preside over the household, and an old friend of Gerald’s (Kelly) and mine, Ivor Back, [Dr Ivor Gordon Back 1879-1951] at this time a surgeon at St George’s to make up the house party.’ [Confessions. p. 405] Also at this time another guest came to stay at Boleskine, an Indian Army doctor Lieutenant-Colonel Joseph Andrew Gormley (1849-1925) whom Crowley described as a ‘masochist’. He would later marry Rose Edith Crowley in 1912.
The guests enjoyed Crowley’s hospitality and Crowley played the Highland laird to the hilt – ‘we had a glorious time at Boleskine’ he says in his ‘Confessions’. ‘What with the salmon and the venison and my cellar, billiards and rock scrambling, the good company and the perfect summer, life passed like an ecstatic dream. In summer in the Highlands, time seems to forgive. At midnight one can sit and read in the open air even in the absence of the moon. Night is “one faint eternal eventide of gems”’. [p. 406] In the garden at Boleskine Crowley had ‘constructed a large trout pond’ beyond the well-kept Italian garden and there he had a Canadian canoe to fish from. He also built a sacred spring and a boathouse at the side of the Loch.
‘When Rose and I first arrived at Boleskine, we had made a sort of sporadic effort to carry out some of the injunctions of Aiwass. We had arranged before leaving Egypt for the “abstruction” of the Stele of Revealing. I did not understand the word or the context, and contented myself with having a replica made by one of the artists attached to the museum. We now proceeded to prepare the “perfume” and the “cakes” according to the prescription given in chapter III, verse 23-9.
We had resumed Magical work, in a desultory way, on finding that Mathers was attacking us. He succeeded in killing most of the dogs. (At this time I kept a pack of bloodhounds and went man-hunting over the moors.) the servants too were constantly being made ill, one in one way, and one in another. We therefore employed the appropriate talismans from The Book of the sacred Magic of Abra-Melin against him, evoking Beelzebub and his forty-nine servitors. Rose had suddenly acquired the power of clairvoyance... As to this perfume of The Book of the Law, “let it be laid before me and kept thick with perfumes of your orison; it shall become full of beetles as it were and creeping things sacred unto me.” One day, to my amazement, having gone into the bathroom to bathe, I discovered a beetle.’ [Confessions. p. 408] Crowley goes on to describe the beetle as ‘about an inch and a half long’ with a ‘single horn nearly as long as itself. The horn ended in a small sphere suggestive of an eye.’ The beetles seemed to swarm all around Boleskine House and in the gardens for about a fortnight but he says he never saw one of the beetles outside the estate. ‘I sent a specimen to London but the experts were unable to identify the species.’ [p. 409]
‘I took the necessary measures to protect Rose against the murderous attack of Mathers, and went on playing billiards. The attack was, however, prolonged and deadly. We were putting central heating into the house, and attempting to construct a small golf course on the estate.
Ivor and I were playing billiards one morning after breakfast, when we heard screams and oaths from the direction of the kitchen. I snatched up a salmon gaff as the readiest weapon and we hurried out. One of the workmen had become suddenly maniacal and attacked my wife, who was making her usual inspection of the offices. It was the work of a moment to gaff the offender and thrust him into the coal cellar, and send for the police. As they were a long time in coming, the animal made several attempts to crawl out of the chute, but our vigilance succeeded in baffling him, and he was duly handed into custody. But nothing followed!’ [p. 409]
A daughter was born to Rose and Aleister at Boleskine House on Thursday 28th July 1904 which they named Nuit Ma Ahathoor Hecate Sappho Jezebel Lilith Crowley. The baby was delivered by Dr Percival Bott [the child would die two years later in Rangoon, Burma]. It was a delightfully happy time for Crowley but ‘as the summer faded, we broke up. I did not want Rose and the baby to have to endure a Highland winter and towards the end of October went off to St Moritz to make arrangements for them to come out.’ [p. 413] Rose joined Aleister there in November and left the baby with her parents under the charge of a trained nurse. On their return Crowley is happy to be back at Boleskine with no real plans to occupy him so he takes to playing practical jokes such as putting a signboard up in the field across the road from Boleskine which read: ‘This way to the Kooloomooloomavlock (does not bite), in the hope that the wayfarer might amuse me by going to look for it.’ [p. 415]
On Thursday 27th April 1905 Doctor Jules Jacot-Guillarmod (1868-1925) the physician and photographer from the 1902 expedition to K2 of which Crowley was a member, visited Aleister at Boleskine House. The Doctor had high expectations of hunting Scottish game and so Crowley decided to play one of his greatest practical jokes on him! ‘I was heartily glad to see him. He was the same cheerful ass as ever, but he had got a bit of a swelled head and was extremely annoyed with me for not leading him instantly to stalk the sinister stag, to grapple with the grievous grouse, and to set my ferrets on the fearful pheasant. He could not understand the game laws. Well, I’m a poet; I determined to create sport since it did not exist. More, it should be unique.
I opened the campaign as follows. Tartarin [Guillarmod] knew the origin of the wild buffalo of Burma. When the British destroyed the villages, their cattle escaped the bayonet and starvation by taking to the jungle, where they had become practically a new species. After the ’45 the British had pursued the same policy of extermination – I mean pacification – in the Highlands, and I thought it plausible to invent a wild sheep on the analogy of the wild buffalo. And more, the beast should be already famous. I described its rarity, its shyness, its ferocity, etc., etc. – “You have doubtless heard of it,” I ended; “it is called the haggis.” [p. 417]
And so, on the morning of Saturday 29th April, Crowley’s ghillie and piper Hugh Gillies, ‘with disordered dress and wild eyes, came rushing into the billiard room after breakfast. He exploded breathlessly, “there’s a haggis on the hill, my lord!”
We dropped our cues and dashed for the gun case. Trusting to my skill, I contented myself with the .577 Double Express, and gave Tartarin the principal weapon of my battery, a 10-bore Paradox, with steel-core bullets. It is a reliable weapon, it will bring an elephant up short with a mere shock, even if he is not hit in a vital part. With such an arm, my friend could advance fearlessly against the most formidable haggis in the Highlands.
Not a moment was to be lost. Gillies, followed by the doctor, myself and my wife, tiptoed, crouching low, out of the front door and stalked the fearsome beast across the Italian garden. The icy rain chilled us to the bone before we reached the edge of the artificial trout lake. I insisted on wading through this – up to the neck, guns held high – on the ground that we should thus throw the haggis off our scent!
We emerged dripping and proceeded to climb the hill on all fours. Every time anyone breathed, we all stopped and lay low for several minutes. It was a chilly performance, but it was worth it! Tartarin soon reached the point where every bent twig looked to him like one of the horns of our haggis. I crawled and dripped and choked back my laughter. The idiocy of the whole adventure was intensified by the physical discomfort and the impossibility of relieving one’s feelings. That interminable crawl! The rain never let up for a single second; and the wind came in gusts wilder and more bitter with every yard of ascent. I explained to Tartarin that if it should shift a few degrees, the haggis would infallibly get our scent and be off. I implored him to camouflage his posteriors, which arose in front of my balaclava, heaving like the hump of a dying camel. The resulting wriggles would have driven Isidora Duncan to despair; the poor man was indeed acutely conscious that, automatically, he had not been constructed with the main idea of escaping notice.
However, after an hour and a half, we reached the top of the hill, three hundred feet above the house, without hearing that hideous scream-whistle of alarm by which (so I had been careful to explain) the haggis announces that he has detected the presence of an alien enemy.
Breathlessly, we crawled towards the hollow space of grassy and heathery knolls that lay behind the huge rock buttress that towers above the garden and the lake, that space whose richness had tempted our distinguished visitor to approach so near to human habitation.
The mist drove wildly and fiercely across the hillside towards us. It magnified every object to an enormous size, the more impressively that the background was wholly blotted out. Suddenly Gillies rolled stealthily over to the right, his finger pointed tremulously to where, amid the unfurling wreaths of greyness, stood...
Tartarin brought forward the 10-bore with infinite precision. The haggis loomed gargantuan in the mist; it was barely fifty yards away. Even I had somehow half hypnotized myself into a sort of perverse excitement. I could have sworn the brute was the size of a bear.
Guillarmod pressed both triggers. He had made no mistake. Both bullets struck and expanded; he had blown completely away the entire rear section of Farmer McNab’s prize ram.’ [p. 417-418] The next day (Sunday 30th April), the ferocious beast of the Highlands was served for dinner!
As a matter of fact, it is said that Crowley’s servant and lodge-keeper Hugh Gillies also suffered at the hands of the Abra-Melin demons when his ten year old daughter died suddenly at her desk at school and one year later, Gillie’s 15 month old son died of convulsions on his mother’s knee!
1909 AND THE DISCOVERY OF LIBER LEGIS
Victor Neuburg (1883-1940) of Trinity College, Cambridge and Kenneth Ward (1887-1927) of Emmanuel College, Cambridge visited Crowley at Boleskine in June 1909, they had travelled together by sleeper train. Kenneth (whom Crowley had met at Wastdale Head) was there specifically to borrow Crowley’s skis and Victor was there to undergo a ten day magical retirement beginning on Saturday 18th June and ending Monday 28th June. Victor had a special chamber prepared for him to work in upstairs (presumably an attic room) and the Retirement consisted of basic yoga techniques and the performance of magical rituals which included ‘The Bornless One’ invocation. He would also learn to recite mantras and write a record of his astral travels. Crowley also allowed him to study the Holy Books. Victor spent much of his time alone at the house except when Crowley would visit him in his bedroom on the ground floor to discuss elements of magical theory and philosophy or Victor would go to Crowley’s bedroom. It is not overstepping the mark to assume that both men enjoyed some sort of intimacy as each was indulging the others tendencies: Neuburg was drawn to masochism and Crowley delighted in sadistic behaviour. In fact, this was the first time Victor had met Rose Crowley (whom it seems was sleeping alone at the house in a separate bedroom) and she was at this time consuming a lot of alcohol. Following the completion of the Retirement Victor was awarded the grade of Neophyte by Crowley. [For an account of Victor’s time at Boleskine see ‘The Magical Dilemma of Victor Neuburg’ by Jean Overton Fuller]
During the time of Victor’s Magical Retirement Crowley had been looking for his four large paintings of the Elemental Watch Towers which he painted in Mexico, and thought to be at Boleskine House. The skis he had promised Kenneth Ward were also hard to locate at the house. ‘After putting Neuburg through his initiation, we repaired to London. I had let the house and my tenant was coming in on [Thursday] the first of July. We had four days in which to amuse ourselves; and we let ourselves go for a thorough good time. Thus like a thunderbolt comes the incident of June 28th, thus described in my diary:
Glory be to Nuit, Hadit, Ra-Hoor-Khuit in the Highest! A little before midday I was impelled mysteriously (though exhausted by playing fives, billiards, etc. till nearly six this morning) to make a final search for the Elemental Tablets. And lo! when I had at last abandoned the search, I cast mine eyes upon a hole in the loft where were ski, etc., and there, O Holy, Holy, Holy! were not only all that I sought, but the manuscript of Liber Legis!
[Diary entry: Monday 28th June 1909]
The ground was completely cut away from under my feet. I remained for two whole days meditating on the situation – in performing, in fact, a sort of supplementary Sammasati to that of 1905. Having the knack of it, I reached a very clear conclusion without too much difficulty. The essence of the situation was that the Secret Chiefs meant to hold me to my obligation. I understood that the disaster and misery of the last three years were due to my attempt to evade my duty. I surrendered unconditionally, as appears from the entry of July 1st.
I once more solemnly renounced all that I have or am. On departing (at midnight from the topmost point of the hill which crowns my estate) instantly shone the moon, two days before her fullness, over the hills among the clouds.’ [Confessions. p. 596]
This realisation on Thursday 1st July 1909, two days before the full moon as Crowley says on Saturday 3rd July, seems to at once free Crowley from his inhibitions and he is aware of his true purpose which is to be the ‘means of emancipating humanity’ and to ‘establish in the world the Law which had been given me to proclaim: “Thou hast no right but to do thy will.”’
Crowley stayed at Boleskine on and off until he sold it in 1913. On Monday 5th May of that year it was sold to protect Crowley from creditors. The house and its thirty-four-acres of land was sold to ‘the trustees of MMM [Mysteria Mystica Maxima] (namely, himself [Crowley], Leila, [Waddell] and Cowie [George MacNie Cowie])...the MMM paid £500 to Crowley and assumed £900 in debts and bills on the property.’ [Perdurabo. Richard Kaczynski. 2010 ed. p. 274]
Crowley returned to Boleskine for the last time during September to October 1914. Boleskine had been mortgaged to fund Crowley’s publications such as The Equinox and other poetical and magical writings. The House was being rented to Dr William Murray Leslie M.D, C.M, FRCS (Edin) (1859-1951) for £250 per year so that the bank could be paid. Dr Murray Leslie was a Scottish physician and barrister and he attempted to treat Rose Crowley for her alcoholism. ‘
Crowley went to Boleskine from time to time during the intervals between his travels. Then he let it; and the estate was finally engulfed in his financial ruin. With it he lost a library of rare works on Magic and kindred subjects. In 1937 I went for a holiday to Drumnadrochit. Crowley asked me to visit Boleskine and to make enquiries as to what had happened to these books. He had never ceased to hope that he might recover them.
I went to Boleskine on a radiant late summer day, motoring round Loch Ness through Inverness. I called on the new owners, went over the house, mused in the Italian garden. Crowley’s ghost – not the Abramelin Demons – haunted me everywhere. I left when the shadow of the great rocks crawled over house and garden. The visit, memorable to me, was fruitless to Crowley. I learned that his books had been sold in Inverness at public auction.’ [Aleister Crowley the Black Magician. C.R. Cammell. 1951. p.45 (1969 ed)]
Boleskine was eventually sold on Friday 12th July 1918 to Dorothy C. Brook for £2,500.
During April 1926 we find Arthur Edward Priestley living at Boleskine House. Priestley had applied for the licence for Foyers hotel, which was granted [see Aberdeen Journal. Thursday 22nd April 1926] In the same year, a motorist was travelling along the road at Loch Ness to Boleskine House when there was an accident. The driver, Mr Vernon Roberts of Dunkeld swerved suddenly and his car went over a steep embankment, ‘falling sixty feet on the rocks below. This, however, prevented the car going into the Loch. Mr Roberts was uninjured, and a dog that accompanied him in the car was thrown into the water, but swam ashore. The car was badly smashed.’ [Aberdeen Journal. Wednesday 18th August 1926]
On Saturday 5th June 1937 the owners of Boleskine House opened their gardens to the public under the ‘Scotland’s Garden Scheme for the benefit of the Queen’s Institute of District Nursing (Scottish branch)’ [Aberdeen Journal. Friday 4th June 1937] Ten years later, also from the Aberdeen Journal [Thursday 2nd January 1947] under ‘situations vacant’ appears ‘Gardener wtd, keen and energetic, able to milk; wife assist in house; first-class cottage, indoor sanitation and bath; on bus route and one mile from school; references required. Apply Factor, Boleskine House, Foyers, Inverness-shire.’
The house appeared from time to time up for sale ‘by private treaty’ as a ‘desirable residence known as Boleskine House, Foyers, with policy grounds... overlooking Loch Ness’ [‘Country Life’. Volume 113. Page 1114. 1953]
Articles continued to appear in the British Press concerning Aleister Crowley, mostly painting a negative portrait of the man. One such article which is relevant appeared in the Picture Post:
‘I was very interested in your articles on Aleister Crowley, as my Uncle (who is still alive) worked for him at Boleskine for a year, laying out his gardens. Crowley called himself Lord Boleskine. One day when he was out shooting rabbits, my Uncle got in the way, and had the heel of his boot shot at. The local people were very dubious about Crowley’s sanity, and kept away from him. He had a room built like a temple, where he used to pray to a dummy which was suspended from the roof. (G. F. Urquhart. Inverness)’. [‘Crowley’s Gardener’. Picture Post. 17th December 1955]
DARK DEEDS AND DEATH AT BOLESKINE
During the early nineteen-sixties there were rumours that the British actor George Sanders (1906-1972) wished to buy Boleskine with his business partner the Scottish MP Dennis Lorraine and build a pig farm on the property. The venture failed and Lorraine was sent to prison for fraud.
Also prior to the 1960’s Boleskine House was owned by retired Army Major Edward Errick Grant (1909-1960) and his wife Nancy. On Tuesday 8th November 1960 the Major’s house-keeper Anna MacLaren heard the sound of a gunshot and when she went into the house she discovered Major Edward Grant’s body, his head blown off with a shotgun in one of the bedrooms at Boleskine. He had taken his own life at the age of 51! He was examined by pathologist H J R Kirkpatrick and the cause of death on the death certificate reads: ‘gunshot wound of head’.
Edward was the youngest child of Frank Morrison Seafield Grant, a merchant and farmer born 29th June 1865 at Dyke, Moray in Scotland and Caroline Frances Grant nee Philips, born in 1872 [they were married in 1893 in Cheadle, Staffordshire]. The Grants lived at Knockie, Whitebridge in Invernesshire and they had the following children: Patrick Francis Grant (1895-1970) [born in Eccles, Pendlebury Lancashire, Patrick became a Lieutenant Colonel in the Royal Artillery and on retirement he farmed at Knockie 1946-1966], Hugh Murray Grant M.B.E. M.C. (1897-1946) [Hugh joined the Queen's Own Highlanders and worked in administration in Kenya. He was killed on duty at Loita on 16th August 1946], Janet Anne Grant born1898, Elizabeth Grant born 1901, Mary Grant born 1904. Frank's 4th daughter Margaret Grant born 1907, married Sir Henry Campbell De La Poer Beresford-Pierce (1905-1972) in 1932 and she became a Justice of the Peace. She died on 1st February 1995. Edward Errick, who was born in Chelford, Cheshire where the Grants had been living prior to the birth of Hugh Murray Grant in 1897 and up until at least 1911, was educated at Eton and Oxford. He was a cadet at Eton College's Junior Division of the Officer Training Corps and he later joined the Territorial Army becoming a 2nd Lieutenant in the Lovat Scouts (22nd February 1929) and the same rank in the Infantry's Supplementary Reserve of Officers in the Camerons (2nd May 1931). He was married to Nancy Glover Willows, born in Kettering 1907, the daughter of Captain George Wallace Willows J.P. (1874-1958) of Rushton Manor, Kettering, Northamptonshire, and Marian Elsie Willows nee Jones, born 1885. Edward and Nancy were married in 1933 at Kisumu, Kenya Colony and Nancy had been a keen rider to hounds and painter of hunting scenes.
On Edward's death record at the Highlands Archives in Inverness it records he was a 'mining engineer (retired)'. The death was registered by Edward's brother Patrick two days later on Thursday 10th November 1960.
Boleskine House became a listed property on 5th October 1971 and the original text description of the building stated that it was ‘Begun late 18th century and continuously enlarged until circa1830. Now forms single storey, irregular 7-bay house with projecting outer bays with truncated gables. Pink harled with ashlar dressings and margins (some rendered). Present SE front probably re-cast from NW. Centre projecting pilastered ashlar bay with entrance flanked by narrow side lights; porch linked to outer bays by shallow loggia supported by slender Roman Doric columns; deep continuous entablature. NW elevation; round-headed window in gabled centre bay (probably former entrance) 3-window projecting bowed bays (to right with modern alteration to one window) with bowed piended roofs in bays 2 and 6; outer bays with Venetian windows. Multi-pane glazing; long and short channelled ashlar quoins. Symmetrical pair ridge and panelled end wallhead stacks; slate roofs. East service door masked by later single storey, single bay extension. Interior; long corridor runs full length of house in SE front probably formed in earlier19th century; panelled arches and screens flanking centre entrance bay. Simple plaster cornices to 2 public rooms with bowed bay windows giving to NW.’
JIMMY PAGE AND MALCOLM DENT
Also in 1971 Boleskine House was bought by Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page and jimmy’s childhood friend Malcolm Dent (1944-2011) lived at the house to supervise the restoration of the building. Dent acted as curator for twenty years at Boleskine and witnessed many strange phenomena: “Most of the oddities occurred during upheavals in the house. I am not talking about wallpapering, but structural alterations. Any time there was anything major; it was almost as though the house didn’t like it. If we didn’t get on with the job and get it finished, something would let us know about it. We would be wakened during the night with heavy doors banging all over the place and carpets and rugs being rolled up. It was thought it was a reminder to get on quickly and get the job over.”
On another occasion Malcolm and some friends witnessed a “small porcelain figure of the Devil [which] rose off the mantelpiece to the ceiling, then smashed into smithereens in the fireplace” The most horrifying event though happened early one morning: “I was awakened in the wee small hours and just knew something was wrong. I was petrified. Something outside the bedroom door was snorting, snuffling and banging. It sounded like a huge beast. I had this clear picture in my mind of what it looked like, but there was no way I was going to open the door. I had a knife on my bedside table and I opened the blade and just sat there. The blade was so small it wouldn’t have done any good, but I was so frightened that I just had to have something to hang on to. The noise went on for some time but even when it stopped, I still could not move. I sat in bed for hours and even when daylight came, it took a lot of courage to open that door. Whatever was there, I have no doubt it was pure evil.” [‘Beware of the Beast’ by Bob King. Highland News. 8th February 1997.]
Jimmy Page only lived at Boleskine House for a short time and during the restoration it is said that Satanist Charles Pierce helped with the redecoration. Page also invited film-maker and fellow Crowley enthusiast Kenneth Anger to Boleskine. Page had agreed to produce the soundtrack for Anger’s film ‘Lucifer Rising’ but unfortunately due to a falling out this was not used.
THE MACGILLIVRAYS
Jimmy Page sold Boleskine House in 1991 to retired hoteliers Ronald and Annette MacGillivray who ran the residence as a B&B. Ronald MacGillivray was born in Ibrox, Glasgow and he was Chairman of the Clan MacGillivray International Association which began in 1999. Ronald died aged 67 in 2002 and the funeral service was held at Boleskine House. The MacGillivray’s who had no interest in the dark history of Boleskine did not encourage sight-seeing and claimed that nothing out of the ordinary happened during their occupation of the house. Sometime after Ronald’s death the house was sold.
Today, the house is a private residence and we should respect the owner’s right to privacy, but whether or not strange things still happen at Boleskine House remains a mystery, for there is still a reluctance to talk about such things for fear of awakening old ghosts!
Further reading:
‘A Country called Stratherrick – A Historical Portrait of the Highland District’. 1987. Alan B. Lawson. The book includes ‘An Account of the Kirk of Boleskine with some Historical Notes on the Parish’ published in 1978.
‘The Confessions of Aleister Crowley’. Edited by John Symonds and Kenneth Grant. London. 1969.
‘The Book of the Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mage’. Translated by S. L. MacGregor Mathers. 1897 [2nd edition: John M. Watkins. London. 1900]
‘The Magical Dilemma of Victor Neuburg’ by Jean Overton Fuller. W. H. Allen. 1965. The book includes examples from Victor’s 127 page Diary. The document entitled ‘The Magical Record of Omnia Vincam’ from which Jean Overton Fuller quotes was owned by General J F C Fuller and is unpublished]
‘The Great Beast’. John Symonds. Macdonald & Co Ltd. 1971.
‘A Magick Life: the Biography of Aleister Crowley’. Martin Booth. Coronet. 2000.
‘Do What Thou Wilt: A Life of Aleister Crowley’. Lawrence Sutin. St Martin’s Press. 2002.
‘Aleister Crowley the Black Magician.’ C. R. Cammell. The Richards Press. 1951.
‘Perdurabo: The Life of Aleister Crowley’. Richard Kaczynski. North Atlantic Books. 2002.
‘Hammer of the Gods – Led Zeppelin, Unauthorised’. Stephen Davis. 1985.
A NOTE IN THE MARGIN
BY
BARRY VAN-ASTEN
‘Se tu nonveneris ad me, ego veniam ad te.’ *
It was one of those intensely uncomfortable moments in life when one is confronted by some phantom of the past that one has not seen in an awfully long time and quite frankly would never really care to see again, but there it was. George Caernhume was walking along Bond Street when he was stopped by an old acquaintance and college friend by the name of Cedric Gray. Cedric was a tall, wide-eyed man of about forty-one years who spoke with a slight lisp and had a cigarette hanging on his stupid lips, the smoke of which frequently got in his eyes and caused him to blink furiously.
‘Hello George, you haven’t changed a bit! It must be over twenty years since I clapped eyes on you last!’
‘Cedric, hello, yes more like twenty-six I believe.’ George said, shaking Cedric’s hand.
‘Do you remember that time when you and Lavinia Wyndham...’
‘It is indelibly printed upon my mind Cedric’ said George, stopping him short ‘and I have gone through ten years of therapy to forget it! Thank you for undoing all that good work!’
‘My pleasure old boy, think nothing of it! Still the same sense of humour! That hasn’t changed either!’ George and Cedric entered a little coffee shop and ordered two coffees and sat down at a table.
‘What did happen to Lavinia?’ asked George.
‘Oh you know a spirit like that can’t be contained! She went travelling around the world I believe and married some French man!’ Cedric slurped his coffee, much to George’s annoyance.
‘I remember the first time I saw her’ said George, ‘she came bursting into the common room at College like thunder, an uncontrollable mass of beautiful energy! My thoughts at the time were that I must get to know this wonderful creature, and sure enough I did. We had some marvellous times together!’
‘Yes, she did prefer to help those in need and you were certainly never more needy George!’
‘Thank you Cedric, it shall be my epitaph!’
‘I believe it will! Think nothing of it! Tell me, what are you up to these days?’
‘I work for a local paper, restaurant reviews, you know the sort of thing?’
‘Perfectly well, lots of free food and wine eh?’ Said Cedric, nudging George’s elbow off the table and half spilling his coffee.
‘And what about you Cedric, what do you do?’ George asked, feigning interest.
‘I work in theatre, had to happen old boy, you can’t resist this much charm for too long you know, the “stage” was inevitably my destiny eh?’
‘Quite!’ George yawned and looked out of the window at the people passing by.
‘And where are you living these days George?’Cedric said, releasing George from his dreamy gaze.
‘I have a room in Manchester Street, not much but it suits me!’
‘You don’t say! A friend of mine, a man named Finch lived in Manchester Street at number 41 and had the most god-awful experiences there!’Cedric said.
‘Finch! That sounds familiar! Didn’t he disgrace himself at University one night by going on a rampage and smashing some incredibly old and probably priceless statues?’
‘That’s the chap!’ Cedric said smiling, his bright eyes like flares all of a sudden.
‘Yes as I recall he decapitated one with a bench!’ George shook his head.
‘He got kicked out of Halls because of that!’
‘Good riddance! He should have known better being a “so-called” artist! They were Georgian for God’s sake! He should have been strung up!’George frowned and sipped the remainder of his coffee.
‘Perhaps it was an artistic statement, y’know, some grand post-modern swipe at convention and establishment or something; an iconoclastic gesture of the sort!’
‘Drunk more like!’ exclaimed George. ‘Damned foolish! For a time he was the most wanted man on campus I recall!’
‘You know I shared a room with him’ said Cedric, ‘and one of his little escapades began with him throwing all my bedding out of the window, I wasn’t there to stop him at the time, he’d drank half a bottle of whisky and proceeded to do a midnight streak around the campus grounds! Really you could write a book on his misadventures! In fact he did publish a book of poems called “Epitaph for a Somnambulist”!’
‘Buffoon!’ said George.
‘He even went out with a bang as I remember! On his final day on campus, he was drinking heavily, wine all evening at some silly event and he decided to sneak into the girl’s Halls of Residence to sleep it off! So he lay in the bath but he failed to notice the tap was dripping furiously and the plug was in! He woke the next morning completely wet through so he spent some time half-naked in the kitchen drying his clothes over a gas jet. Suddenly a woman cleaner came in and reported him to security who swiftly ejected him from College! And I won’t even mention the time he was supposed to be at work and spent the evening in a “boy bar” getting very drunk indeed!’
‘You just did! So what happened?’
‘Well, you’d think the days of Auden and Isherwood and those heady days in Berlin had never ended! He woke up the next day with no recollection of what happened to him or how he got home and was six-hundred pounds lighter!’ Cedric said laughing.
‘I didn’t know he was that way inclined?’ frowned George.
‘He puts his feet into both trouser legs at the same time if you understand me old boy? And besides, I bedded him myself once! Does that shock you George?’
‘No not at all!’
‘Pity, I’m awfully fond of shocking people you know!’ George and Cedric re-freshened their coffee and sat back down.
‘So what happened to the statue-smashing little anarchist? Is he still fighting the establishment?’ George enquired.
‘No, he became it! He scraped an upper 2.2 with Honours and is now Lord Abington!’
‘Well I’m blown! So much for his de-constructivist principles, damn him!’ George said angrily, expecting to hear he was doing time at her majesty’s pleasure for cat strangling or something.
‘Anyway, as I was saying’ Cedric continued, ‘this man Finch had a room at 41 Manchester Street and apparently he did some abominable things there, y’know, black arts and all that!’
‘You mean devil worship; demonology stuff?’ George whispered.
‘That’s exactly what I do mean! I went to visit him there once and it would have taken a man with absolutely no feelings of sensitivity whatsoever, someone much like the Chancellor of the Exchequer himself, a man known to have a heart of stone when it comes to feelings, to have not felt the awful atmosphere upon ascending the stair and entering his room; it was remarked upon several times by acquaintances! He confided in me once that he suffered terrible tortures every night by some sort of “other-world” visitation.’
‘You mean a ghost?’ said George scratching his ear.
‘Not quite old boy, a succubus!’ Cedric said, looking round as if he at any minute would be accosted by something ‘unseen’ himself!
‘Succubus? I don’t understand!’ George said, blowing his nose.
‘A succubus is an entity which in female form makes sexual congress with a man, usually during the small hours of the night while he is asleep or in a semi-wakeful state. Its male counterpart is called an incubus!’
‘So this man Finch is the prey of some female creature that disturbs his sleep wanting sex?’
‘Precisely!’ nodded Cedric.
‘Sounds like my ex-wife!’ George said laughing to himself.
‘It’s no joke old boy! If you saw the state he was in! And he wasn’t just perpetrated by the succubus you know, the male incubus attempted to seduce him too!’ Cedric said with a look of alarm on his face.
‘You must forgive a young gentleman his indiscretions! So, what happened next; I am intrigued Cedric?’
‘Well I being my usual pragmatic self decided to look into the history of the building to see if anything untoward had happened there in the past and I discovered that a man had lived in the “haunted” room at Manchester Street, in fact, I was able to find out quite a lot of information about him!’ Cedric pulled his chair closer to George for fear of being overheard, which was strange as he hadn’t cared who overheard their conversation up till that moment!
‘Do go on!’ whispered George.
‘Well, for one thing, this man, the enigmatically named Ulam Boolam (his real name is not recorded in any data) lived a solitary existence in the room with his cat “Elsinore” and began acting very strange!’
‘In what way strange?’ George enquired.
‘Following his “night attacks” he began reading the Bible to ward off the creature which seemed to work for a time and eventually he became completely enmeshed in Christianity and began living his life as if he were a Saint! That Bible became his only companion; even the cat was forgotten and eventually wandered off in search of a new master! Ulam took his “calling” to undiscovered heights: Do you know he could fondle himself to the point of puritanical eruption and land himself like a full-stop upon a penny four feet away!’ Cedric remarked.
‘Not Sovereign’s face upwards I hope! That would be disrespectful – the only thing that should be on the Queen’s face is Prince Philip and that very seldom! How disgusting! How disgraceful! How deplorable! I’m damned sure that’s a treasonable offense you know!’ George retorted, quite shocked.
‘Not in the least! It shows great dedication, determination and dexterity!’ laughed Cedric.
‘Depravity more like!’
Cedric continued, ‘well, you know, that sort of control of one’s will is bound to have a major effect, in fact, he decided to become ascetic to the point of almost non-existence – he religiously bathed once a month, whether he needed it or not! He ate an assortment of boiled vegetables, but only when there was an “f” in the weekday; and he abstained from sexual thoughts and activity on every day of every month which began with the letter “s” without fail, every leap year!’
‘And how did that fair him?’ asked a puzzled George.
‘He died!’ exclaimed Cedric.
‘I should think so too!’
‘Oh it was not his way of life which finished him, no, not at all, he hung himself in an attempt to prove the validity of the resurrection!’
‘Wouldn’t crucifixion be more suitable?’ George pointed out.
‘Probably, but being a confirmed hermit who would he get to hammer the nails in?’
‘You have a valid point there! But really, I can’t be doing with all that religious tosh! Why should we, a modern nation believe in the word of some long-dead foreigner and his far-away clap-trap? I can’t think of anything more un-believable and detestable – it’s an outrage! I’d rather believe in Aesop’s fables! Granted, this Jesus person was very clever and his tricks were faultless to the primitive mind, if grossly exaggerated, but look at the Old and New Testaments: the parting of the Red Sea; the Plagues of Egypt; Lazarus...’
Cedric cut him short, saying: ‘talking of Moses did you know that “Moses supposes his toeses are roses, but Moses supposes erroneously, Moses he knowses his toeses aren’t roses, as Moses supposes his toeses to be!’
‘I beg your pardon?’ said an astonished George.
‘The quotation game! You remember, we used to play it in College!’
‘Oh yes, of course! “Singing in the Rain”!’
‘Well done!’ grimaced Cedric.
‘Talking erroneously, time has blown all that biblical guff out of proportion. In two thousand years time Morrissey will be seen as the Blessed Virgin Mary and Batman will have achieved mythic god-like status! Why can’t we believe in something English eh? Like good ol’ Saint George or better still King Arthur, now there’s a story, Camelot and all that!’ George clapped his hands together with glee.
‘A good musical!’ sang Cedric.
‘Yes indeed, in fact, “when I hear that happy beat, I feel like dancin’ down the street!’
‘What?’Bemused Cedric.
‘”Gotta Dance”. Gene Kelly. “Singing in the Rain”. 1952.’ Said George smugly.
‘Oh yes, you got me there old boy! But seriously, I fear you are upsetting the Christian in me!’
‘Are you Christian then?’Said George a little perplexed.
‘No, I just ate one for breakfast and he’s causing me indigestion!’ laughed Cedric, almost falling off his chair.
‘Very amusing Cedric! By the way, did you find anything else interesting on this “Ulam Boolam” character?’
‘Just that his death certificate was signed by a ‘Doctor Umbilicus’, which made me laugh out loud but apart from that there isn’t much else to know! When the door to his room was broken into by the landlord upon several complaints of the “resinous and pungent aroma” emanating from the room, the body of Ulam Boolam was found, much decomposed, hanging from a neck tie and upon his bedside table were two items and two items only: a little silver crucifix and his Bible. The Bible that he owned has an account of his nightly visitations and background details in his own hand, written in the margin which is the only real document we have to support the ‘haunted room’ suggestion and the succubus claim. The Bible is there in the British Library for anyone to investigate should they so wish and happen to be in the ownership of a readers’ ticket.’
‘Did your friend Finch recover?’George asked, finishing his coffee.
‘After treatment and after moving away from the accursed place he did. But he was never really the same again, he took a “journey to a strange new world” and left “all thoughts of the world” he “knew before” he let his “soul take” him where he longed to be, only then can...”’
‘“You belong to me!”’ George finished.
‘”The Music of the Night”. Andrew Lloyd Webber. “The Phantom of the Opera”. 1986’
‘Damn! You’re too good at this!’ Cedric exclaimed.
*’If you don’t come to me, I’ll come to you.’ [‘A School Story’ from ‘More Ghost Stories’ by M R James. 1911]
THE LEGEND OF ALEISTER CROWLEY. A FAIR PLEA FOR FAIR PLAY.
By VICTOR B NEUBURG
The portly and voluminous poet, mystic, magician, explorer, scholar and publicist, Aleister Crowley, here has his Legend given to the world before the trifling formality of his death.
It is at once the strength and weakness of this decorously-tempered panegyric that it is the work of an instructed advocate rather than an impartial judge. In considering, criticising and appraising this unique and bulky figure we have to bear in mind - and it is only fair that we should thus bear in mind - the character, or rather the characteristics, of his countrymen.
Critics of life so diverse as Jonathan Swift, Dean of St. Patrick’s, and Thomas Babington, Lord Macaulay, have in their several ways noted the proneness of the English mob to single out an object of hatred, and to howl at that unfortunate figure until they have either slain it, or cast it into the limbo of unreturning exile.
For us Freethinkers, it should suffice to recall the names of certain of our own heroes and martyrs who have thus enjoyed the favour of this distinguishing mark of approbation at the stone-filled hands and patriotic voices of their grateful fellow-countrymen, who never forgive genius, originality, or Independence of thought. Byron, Shelley, Richard Carlile, Charles Bradlaugh, are names among a score or two that might be given that indicate what are the real feelings of the man in the street towards his saviours and benefactors. Mob psychology is an inferiority complex magnified to the nth power; and in England, at least, there are not enough people of exalted temperament to prevent the martyrdom of the "sports" and leaders among mankind.
At one time we knew Aleister Crowley pretty well, as is plain from this book; and although in some respects he was perhaps "not quite nice to know," as the slang phrase goes, we do not think that it is quite fair to charge him with murder, cannibalism, black magical practices, moral aberrations, treachery, druggery; as is the custom among the cunning and more degraded jackals of Fleet Street. We know something of journalists, but we know very few members of the newspaper craft who would not sell themselves for twenty guineas down if it were quite "safe."
Rigid moralists, like the good Horatio Bottomley and the Almost-Reverend James Douglas, it seems to us, really protest too much in their religious efforts to keep England pure and holy; and for this reason, differing as we do from very much that is taught and advocated by Aleister Crowley, we respectfully decline to join the howling mob of interested pietists who every now and then raise the wind in the Silly Season by shrieking with inspired vituperation at the poet under discussion. If a fraction of the charges brought against Crowley were true, he should be exiled from every country in the world, and, after judicious application to his reason of various Chinese tortures, he should be hanged, drawn and quartered first, broken on the wheel afterwards, and the remains sown with salt before being cast into the infernal pit; but somehow we have an instinct against accepting the unsupported assertions of the professional moralists of our popular journals, and we do not know that Mr. Douglas, Mr. Bottomley and the lesser lights of cheap journalism have not proved their case up to the hilt. In these circumstances we venture publicly to the record our opinion that the poet might be allowed to follow his paths in comparative peace until something definitely criminal can be proved against him, when the police, no doubt, will be quite capable of dealing with the case. Crowley is at least as important a figure as the late D. H. Lawrence and Mr. James Joyce, both unquestionably men of genius; and when we remember the kinds of things said against these artists in our cheaper prints, we hesitate to acquiesce in the Sunday newspaper verdict of Aleister Crowley.
Mr. Stephenson gives an amusing and interesting, if one sided and partial, account of his subject; and the book will have it’s place when the history, literary and social, of the early twentieth century comes to be written.
A final note: we ourselves differ profoundly on many points - on most points, indeed - from Crowley; we do not see why he should not have a fair share of this notice therefore is written solely in the interests of fair play, by one who is in no respect a follower or partisan. It is a plea from ordinary human tolerance addressed by a Freethinker to his fellow Freethinkers. Those of them who feel inclined to quarrel with this estimate of Crowley’s genius might inform themselves by glancing at his latest published book, Confessions. This work, now in course of publication, is, in my considered judgement, the greatest autobiography that the world has ever seen. We have not the least doubt that posterity will endorse this finding.
[The Freethinker. 24th August 1930]
TO FOYERS
By the Loch, the dead lie easy,
Masked by the veil of world's clay;
Eternally thrown to strange spaces
In the mists of hearts gushing away;
Away into a stone enclosure
For all time to stand and declare -
In the madness of the moon that outshines me,
An ogre of enchantment lies there.
And the great pagan gods of old
Shall tremble at the dark storm's force
That shakes through the woods and the hills,
To pulse with the water’s course.
Yet what menace of years still haunts?
What elements of ritual press near?
The pilgrim journeys far, and strays
For something evoked and eternal lies here.
And those eyes peer from the shore
To thunder through ruins and roll
Onwards, into after-realms, and fall
Like a great beast at the brute of the soul.
And I will build you a garden
Out of ivory and stone,
By the meandering shores of Loch Ness,
For love and legend and time gone!
Barry Van-Asten
Sunday 15th May 1994: LBR. (Lesser banishing Rituals of the Pentagram and Hexagram, performed daily). Within the Temple (1) [O=O]: Hierus, Kerux, Stolistes, Dadouchos (Pillars of Severity and Mercy). 02.50 a.m. Hegemon (triad) – Veil of Nephtys and the Veil of Isis – Hierophant, the Banner of the East and the West. Malkuth (Pillars of Netzach and Hod) and Yesod – the triad. I went through the preliminaries twice:
Kerux: ‘Hekas, Hekas, este Bebeloi...’
Hierophant: asks if the Hall of Nephtys is properly guarded.
Kerux: answers and salutes (Enterer) etc...
03.25 a.m. ‘Hear thou the voice of the Nada!’ In my right ear, my head was bowed onto my chest. A single thunder-clap which continued for some minutes while the left ear captured the sound of a tinkling bell, as if afar, yet deep within!
03.35 a.m. Ida and Pingala: Puraka= 5, Kumbhaka= 5, Rechaka= 5. Pingala a little blocked so ended at 03.43 a.m. and the whole exercise finished at 03.45 a.m. Duration: Asana: 55 minutes. Ida and Pingala: 8 minutes (in asana).
Tuesday 17th May. LBR. 02.55 a.m. T. (Temple) O=O Hierus guards the hither side of the portal. The Hierophant makes the sign of the Enterer, to the West.
Wednesday 18th May. LBR. 02.35 a.m. T. O=O Hierophant in the sign of the Enterer, questions Hierus:
Hierus: ‘Breath is the evidence of life’. The work ended at 03.00 a.m.
03.05 a.m. R.C. (Rosy Cross) in Tiphereth. Very strong, I counted two breaks only. The White Cross and the Red Rose became a large table around which were seated the Secret Chiefs of the Vault of the Adepts. A small cross stood in a golden shaft of light (Tiphereth) and there was a larger white cross where I was standing, at its base, enflamed in prayer.
I later had a dream in which I was in a park attending some festival and looking across the lake I saw a glowing disc in the sky with a beam of light directed towards the ground, into the trees. A person I was with suggested we go into the light but I said no and clung to the base of a tree – The object and the light were bright gold (an aspect of Tiphereth) and the tree reflected the form of the cross where I stood also at the base in the previous R.C. vision. But it was only a dream and I could have unconsciously influenced it with the sphere of Tiphereth.
Thursday 19th May. LBR. 01.55 a.m. Reading fourth section of the Golden Dawn by Regardie till 02.15 a.m.
02.15 a.m. T. O=O West: Hierus explains the three lesser officers. The Hierophant asks the Dadouchos (South) his station and duty, and he replies: ‘To consecrate the Hall of the Fraters and Sorores, and the candidate with fire’.
02.35 a.m. R.C. in Ajna. Very good, I received a vision Iesous Christos suffering on the cross with his crown, but it was not a crown of thorns, but a crown of Roses, and there were tears of blood. The cross was also seen escaping from my Ajna and rising into the air – I raised my arms as in the sign of Apophis and Typhon and held onto the cross, which continued to rise and draw me forth into the heavens...
Saturday 21st May. LBR. 02.15 a.m. T. O=O the Hierophant asks the Stolistes his station and duty. Stolistes (North) symbolises cold and moisture and he takes care of the robes and insignia and purifies with water.
07.00 a.m. Fabric Vision: I was in a room, a very old room which was filled with light. I seemed to be conscious of actually being in another room, as if my eyes were open, physically, but of course they were not. I instructed myself to wake at exactly 08.13 a.m. and did so to the minute without the aid of any such ‘outward’ alarm
10.15 a.m. Eucharistos.
Sunday 22nd May. LBR. 02.40 a.m. T. O=O the Kerux section of the ceremony, station and duty etc.
03.00 a.m. Tatwa: Ether of Air (black oval within a blue disc). I began well but very tired to do the simplest of work.
Monday 23rd May. LBR. The Equinox volume I number x.
Tuesday 24th May. LBR. 02.45 a.m. T. O=O the stations continue: Hierophant asks Hegemon his station and duties. The work ended at 03.27 a.m.
03.30 a.m. R.C. in Ajna: Muladhara – Ajna. Mantra: A.M.P.H. (Aum Mani Padme Hum) a few breaks and R.C. quite good. There followed a short vision in which I was a female being in a long tunnel. I felt the presence of three masculine entities which were wolf-like.
Saturday 28th May. LBR. 02.50 a.m. T. O=O Hierophant asks the Hierus his station and duties (black robe), Sword of Justice and the Banner of the West. End at 03.22 a.m.
03.25 a.m. R.C. in Ajna. Mantra: A.M.P.H. [R.C. appeared against a blue vibrant sky and was reflected in water]. I worked with the Chakras and saw an image of a skull, just the cranium, there was no jaw bone. It was yellow in colour, stained by age. It then became blue, like a negative image of itself. I suddenly felt as if my eyes were fully open but as ever they were tightly closed. The work ended at 03.45 a.m.
Fabric Vision, received later: The Children of the Veil. I was standing in a dark room (or I may have been in my asana position) and I noticed that little tiny noses were poking through a dark veil. At first I paid no attention to them, then, wherever I happened to look I saw the tiny nose tips and nothing else beyond the black veil. As I felt around in the darkness I could feel their small cold naked bodies yet I could not see them except for their nose tips. ‘Begone! Begone!’ I shouted and commanded. And all the children of the darkness, those that had not been born (a reference to the formula of ALIM and also of the eleventh degree in the O.T.O.) came running from beyond the veil in complete confusion. I felt as if another presence was there also and it was scornful of me and even laughing at the fool of an adept, who thinks he can enter the veil!
10.00 a.m. Eucharistos.
Sunday 29th May. LBR. 02.20 a.m. Asana: Legs crossed and spine rigid. Mantra: A.M.P.H. Failure! I was too tired to continue and ended after just ten minutes.
Tuesday 31st May. LBR. 02.15 a.m. T. O=O the Hierophant explains his station and duties. I am the Hierophant between the pillars, my head and torso rise high into the air yet my feet are firm in Malkuth (the hands are also able to act within Malkuth). I then contracted – yea, even beyond the confines of my own physical body. I took this to be a sign showing Kether in Malkuth which was caused by the reciting of the Hierophant’s speech. It was as if I had become the triad: (a) the body of light in the Temple as the Hierophant, (b) my consciousness in Kether and (c) my physical ‘earth’ body in Malkuth. The work ended at 02.55 a.m. I then performed the Banishing rituals and Invoked Spirit active (equilibration in the east) and Invoked the Air Pentagram in the four quarters: E.S.W.N. (Air being active).
Asana 03.00 – 03.35 a.m. Legs crossed and spine rigid. Very warm conditions but the body was trembling. Assumption of the God form Shu. I fixed the symbol of Air, which rose upwards and into my Ajna, and then beyond. The work finished at 03.35 a.m. as the light was returning in the east. LBR.
Wednesday 1st June. LBR. 12.10 – 1.00 p.m. In my asana outdoors beneath the hot rays of the sun! The pain became intense at 12.50 p.m.
Thursday 2nd June. LBR. 02.20 a.m. T. O=O the Stolistes and Dadouchos, purifies and consecrates with fire and water. End at 02.45 a.m. whereupon I attempt the R.C. in Ajna. The symbol rises from the Muladhara Chakra and into Kether (white brilliance) and beyond and back again to Ajna. Mantra: A.M.P.H. very good. Unstoppable! Asana: Legs crossed. It was a very hot night. During one of the breaks I almost became lost in Union (Dhyana) of which as yet I have not attained. I ended the work at 03.15 a.m.
08.30 a.m. Eucharistos.
Friday 3rd June. LBR. 07.55 a.m. Vision: I was lying in bed in my room. It was early morning. With my astral eyes I could observe clearly that there was a light in the room and a window was open. It was windy outside. The door was opening and closing a little because of the draught from the window. I was beneath the blanket. I heard the door slam shut and everything went dark as I looked up from beneath the blanket, which suddenly flew into the air as some large and powerful presence lay down beside me. It was pushing my upper body from the bed and at the same time my ears were being deafened by the screaming of the Nada, which increased in volume. I woke from this with my ears ringing and my upper body thrust to the side of the bed and half hanging outside it. I was full of fear! I had experienced the full animalistic strength of what I termed at the time the ‘dweller on the threshold’, not visible but a definite presence, as it has been [and will be] so often. It must be overcome! These astral attacks which so often spill out into physical reality have become a common occurrence over the years and I have learnt to ‘banish’ them in my own way and escape from the assault. They are always experienced during the vulnerability of sleep and sometimes physical paralysis occurs too. It must be noted that so often a piercing tone (Nada) like the strike of a bell that vibrates and increases in volume nearly always signals an attack of this nature (2).
Saturday 4th June. LBR. 03.05 a.m. Tatwa: Akasa (spirit). Mantra: A.M.P.H. I began well but failed to achieve anything of significance. Previous to this I did Temple work: T. O=O the circumambulation.
03.10 a.m. R.C. in Ajna. I attempted it first without the mantra, but I found it difficult to control the mind, so I had to use it (A.M.P.H.) but I used it at a reduced rate, slower than usual. I had some strange feelings because of this: (a) Like being smothered in a blanket of darkness, and (b) two lesser sensations as of being turned around 360 degrees, and the ‘inward’ becoming the ‘outward’. I tried with the R.C. in Kether and I became conscious of a duality, as if my body of light (spirit) were looking upon my body of earth. There was no difficulty in doing this and it seemed to occur naturally with the R.C. in Kether.
Tuesday 7th June. LBR. 02.10 a.m. T. O=O the Hierophant announces the end of the mystical circumambulations, and rise of light, and the adorations begin.
02.30 a.m. Asana: Arrowhead. A warm night. Mantra: A.M.P.H. I visualised a golden Ankh – the blue light penetrated my consciousness as it usually does previous to works of this nature, after some rapid breathing. I saw the golden Ankh in the blue sky in the East. The Arrowhead seems a good posture; the hands and feet which were touching, completely disappeared – not painfully, but just ‘lost’. The head was resting on the chest and a white light was about me. I could have done much longer in my asana and was a little disappointed with the Ankh. I ended at 03.20 a.m. Asana and Ankh duration: 50 minutes.
Wednesday 8th June. LBR. 02.45 a.m. ‘Khabs Am Pekht’, ‘Konx Om Pax’, ‘Light In Extension’ – 03.13 a.m. R.C. in Ajna.
Friday 10th June. LBR. Vision: I was led through a passageway and up stairs to different levels of a building and into many rooms. I was guided by the Master (the Guardian of the Lunar and Solar Principles). The rooms were large and white in colour. I left the Master and walked up a stairway to the Lunar (female) quarters of the building (or Sanctuary). I began talking to a young girl (Soror) who was about fourteen years old in appearance. She spoke French and she said she will teach me to speak English, but just then the Master returned and escorted me away, as I was not permitted to be there because it was purified only to the Lunar Principle. I told him that I was looking into one of the rooms I had stayed in before (presumably in a previous incarnation as a female) and I told him of the changes I had observed. I followed the Master into the Inner Sanctum which was purified to both the Lunar and Solar Principles conjoined. The furnishings were of wood and metal, these symbolised the Solar Principle, and fur and soft furnishings symbolised the Lunar Principle. We went along a short passageway into the gardens and I noticed a stone chess board beyond the flower beds which were planted on a slope. I followed the Master up this slope... Just then, I noticed a loud sound at the base of my skull, slightly at the right hand side; a buzzing noise which brought me swiftly from the vision state. It is a sound I have often had and is reminiscent of an inner explosion that echoes inside the head and pulses like an electric wave.
Saturday 11th June. LBR. 02.35 a.m. Asana: Thunderbolt. Ida – (Puraka 10, Khumbhaka 10); Pingala – (Rechaka 10, Khumbhaka 10). I had a vision of the Voluptuous Adulterer: the Snake Serpent. I tried to use the Mantra: A.M.P.H. but did not proceed with it as it was of no use. I saw the ‘Winged Globe’ from the Stele of Revealing and made Dharana. Then there came a vision of the Crying Isis. The work ended at 02.53 a.m. Duration of asana: 18 minutes.
Sunday 12th June. LBR. 02.30 a.m. T. O=O the Candidates admission; the hoodwink and the rope – before the knock – 02.58 a.m.
03.05 a.m. Asana: Legs crossed. Stomach empty, breathing slow and rhythmical with hands on thighs. On thinking of the ceremony, a phrase entered my consciousness: ‘There is Chaos between the Pillars’. The work ended at 03.35 a.m. Pentagram in Ajna. During the asana I attempted Dharana on the tip of my nose – I became conscious of my ‘astral’ self before me and we were touching nose to nose, like a mirror image. I rose into Kether in a sort of ‘third’ person and viewed the astral and earth body, the duality: Looking out is looking in! Duration of asana: 30 minutes.
Monday 13th June LBR. The Numerations of Asnia which were partly discovered yesterday on Sunday 12th June:
Aleph 1
Yod 10
Nun 50
Samekh 60
Aleph 1
Total= 122. [Aleph, Yod, Nun 1+10+50=61] and [Samekh, Aleph 60+1=61] 1 + 11 squared [10+1=11, 50+60+1=111 – A=111 in full], or 1+56+65=122= Hadit (1) + Nuit (56) + Adonai/eimi (65) = ‘I am Horus’ [unsure about this].
61= AIN (negative) also ANI (ego)
50= Death (Binah)
60= Restriction
11= Number of Magick
122=1=Unity. (22= Letters of the Hebrew Alphabet and the Paths on the Sephira Tree of Life).
6-1=5
6-1=5
1+2+2=5 = 555 Hadit in full.
6x1=6
6x1=6
1+2x2=6 = 666 the Beast etc.
50 divided by 10=5 Pentagram (Microcosm)
60 divided by 10=6 hexagram (Macrocosm)
5+6=11 HAD and number of Magick.
65=Adonai
65+1+1=67 (Binah) [and Achad Unity – Binah + Kether]
56= NU
Elements: Air, Fire, Water, Earth and Air.
By the Tarot: Fool. Temperance. Death. Hermit and Fool= ‘Folly is the self sacrifice of initiation and the secret gate of the fool!’
122=
1-2 (=O)-2= OOO [Ain Soph Aur]
1-2 (=O) x2=OO [Ain Soph]
1x2 (=2)-2= O [Ain]
1+2 (=3)-2=1 [Kether]
1+ (2 divided by 2=1) =2 [Chokmah]
2+2 (=4)-1=3 [Binah, Saturn]
1x2 (=2) +2=4 [Chesed, Jupiter]
1+2+2=5 [Geburah, Mars]
1+2 (=3) x2=6 [Tiphereth, Sun]
12(2 squared) =1+2+4=7 [Netzach, Venus]
1x2x4=8 [Hod, Mercury]
1(2 squared) (2 squared) =1+4+4=9 [Yesod, Moon]
1(2 squared) 2= 1+4x2=10 [Malkuth, Earth]
Wednesday 15th June. LBR. 02.42 a.m. T. O=O the admittance into the Hall.
09.50 a.m. Eucharistos. The darkness of initiation has begun!
Thursday 16th June. LBR. 02.50 a.m. T. O=O the Purification and Consecration of P.A.A.A.
02.57-03.25 a.m. Asana and Mantra: A.M.P.H. Chakras. I was very exhausted. I noticed a shudder of enormous strength throw my upper body to the right, it was like an electric current within me [could this be connected to the spasmodic jerks that are assumed to move the body during asana?] There is a shadow of doubt upon me.
Saturday 18th June. LBR. The right forearm (wrist) now has a very vivid circle upon it, slightly larger and slightly higher than the circle on the left forearm. Both circles contain an inner circle. What does this mean? Is it a form of stigmata? Why are they almost perfect mirror images of each other? I do not know.
Sunday 19th June. LBR. 02.45 a.m. T. O=O at the altar stands P.A.A.A. and the Hegemon gives his answers to the Hierophant: ‘Why does thou seek to enter the Sacred Hall?’ etc and the work ended at 03.02 a.m.
03.05 a.m. Asana: Legs crossed. H.P.K. [Hoor Par Kraat] in Ajna, on the Lotus Leaf. Mantra: A.M.P.H. (quite good only a few breaks). I removed H.P.K. and place my astral form before me in the assumption of the god form H.P.K. I had to end the work at 03.15 as I was disturbed by outside sounds. Stomach empty. A windy and warm night. Continued with mantra: A.M.P.H. into sleep.
6.30-7.45 p.m. Asana: Legs crossed. Dharana on Yoni [the expansion and contraction] caused a vibratory sensation in Muladhara after the expansion and contraction ended. Pain began at 7.40 p.m. and the duration of the asana was 75 minutes.
Tuesday 21st June. LBR. [Summer Solstice] 02.25 a.m. Asana: Legs crossed and hands on Yesod. Stomach empty. Chakras. My astral body before me, also seated in asana, robed in red with the R.C. on the breast and wand in the right hand. I transferred from the earth to the astral and performed the LBR. A filmy mist was around me as I rose into the air. There was a feeling of eternal peace and tranquillity. I became fatigued in the rising and ended at 02.50 a.m. I again heard the Nada in the right ear like an explosion which lasted around 30 seconds or more. It decreased in strength and sound. I had the image of a match being struck as an analysis – the flame on the initial strike = the enthusiasm, powerful [Isis], Then it settles in size and strength, and flows freely towards an end without the initial enthusiasm [Apothis]. Then it burns out and all is completed, the will is done! [Osiris].
Wednesday 22nd June. LBR. 11.30 a.m. Eucharistos.
Saturday 25th June. LBR. 03.00 a.m. Asana: Dragon. Very hot and stomach empty. Pranayama: Puraka=10, Kumbhaka=5, Rechaka=10, Kumbhaka=5. I felt this was too easy to do so I increased it to 10/10/10/10. I began to sweat a little and heard thunder in the distance. I ended at 03.10 a.m. mantra: A.M.P.H. with R.C. in Ajna. Very good, R.C. was rising into the sky in the East and I ended at 03.20 a.m.
Duration: Asana=20 minutes (pain at the end and I could not move at all, I was completely rigid after just 10 minutes). Pranayama=10 minutes. Mantra=10 minutes (very good rhythm).
10.40 a.m. Eucharistos. Emotionally the O=O is having an effect upon me which is not good.
Tuesday 28th June. LBR. 02.27 a.m. T. O=O ‘Obligation’ and keeping the secrets and the mystery of the Order. Ending at 02.44 a.m. A short exercise concerning ‘Berashith till 02.47 a.m.
02.50 a.m. Asana: Arrowhead. R.C. in Ajna (a few breaks). R.C. was good in short bursts then breaks would occur on thinking about the asana etc. The word ‘Mountain’ entered my consciousness for some reason. I opened my eyes and saw the R.C., gold and red before me. Stomach empty and ended at 03.10 a.m.
Wednesday 29th June. LBR. 02.43 T. O=O ‘Obligations’ and P.A.A.A. kneels at the altar.
THE WAND OF SILENCE
Excerpts from the Magickal
Diaries
OF AUDRAREP
PART THREE
‘To Know, to Dare, to Will, to
keep Silent, are the
four words of the magus,
inscribed upon the four
symbolic forms of the Sphinx.
To command the elements, we must
have overcome
their hurricanes, their
lightning’s, their abysses, their
tempests . In order to Dare we
must Know; in order
to Will we must Dare; we must
Will to possess empire,
and to reign we must Be Silent’.
The Ritual of Transcendent Magic,
E. Levi. pp. 30, 190.
Do what thou wilt shall be the
whole of the law
THE OPENING OF THE TEMPLE
Sunday 15th May 1994: LBR. (Lesser banishing Rituals of the Pentagram and Hexagram, performed daily). Within the Temple (1) [O=O]: Hierus, Kerux, Stolistes, Dadouchos (Pillars of Severity and Mercy). 02.50 a.m. Hegemon (triad) – Veil of Nephtys and the Veil of Isis – Hierophant, the Banner of the East and the West. Malkuth (Pillars of Netzach and Hod) and Yesod – the triad. I went through the preliminaries twice:
Kerux: ‘Hekas, Hekas, este Bebeloi...’
Hierophant: asks if the Hall of Nephtys is properly guarded.
Kerux: answers and salutes (Enterer) etc...
03.25 a.m. ‘Hear thou the voice of the Nada!’ In my right ear, my head was bowed onto my chest. A single thunder-clap which continued for some minutes while the left ear captured the sound of a tinkling bell, as if afar, yet deep within!
03.35 a.m. Ida and Pingala: Puraka= 5, Kumbhaka= 5, Rechaka= 5. Pingala a little blocked so ended at 03.43 a.m. and the whole exercise finished at 03.45 a.m. Duration: Asana: 55 minutes. Ida and Pingala: 8 minutes (in asana).
The Temple in the Neophyte [O=O]
Ceremony
Tuesday 17th May. LBR. 02.55 a.m. T. (Temple) O=O Hierus guards the hither side of the portal. The Hierophant makes the sign of the Enterer, to the West.
Wednesday 18th May. LBR. 02.35 a.m. T. O=O Hierophant in the sign of the Enterer, questions Hierus:
Hierus: ‘Breath is the evidence of life’. The work ended at 03.00 a.m.
03.05 a.m. R.C. (Rosy Cross) in Tiphereth. Very strong, I counted two breaks only. The White Cross and the Red Rose became a large table around which were seated the Secret Chiefs of the Vault of the Adepts. A small cross stood in a golden shaft of light (Tiphereth) and there was a larger white cross where I was standing, at its base, enflamed in prayer.
I later had a dream in which I was in a park attending some festival and looking across the lake I saw a glowing disc in the sky with a beam of light directed towards the ground, into the trees. A person I was with suggested we go into the light but I said no and clung to the base of a tree – The object and the light were bright gold (an aspect of Tiphereth) and the tree reflected the form of the cross where I stood also at the base in the previous R.C. vision. But it was only a dream and I could have unconsciously influenced it with the sphere of Tiphereth.
Thursday 19th May. LBR. 01.55 a.m. Reading fourth section of the Golden Dawn by Regardie till 02.15 a.m.
02.15 a.m. T. O=O West: Hierus explains the three lesser officers. The Hierophant asks the Dadouchos (South) his station and duty, and he replies: ‘To consecrate the Hall of the Fraters and Sorores, and the candidate with fire’.
02.35 a.m. R.C. in Ajna. Very good, I received a vision Iesous Christos suffering on the cross with his crown, but it was not a crown of thorns, but a crown of Roses, and there were tears of blood. The cross was also seen escaping from my Ajna and rising into the air – I raised my arms as in the sign of Apophis and Typhon and held onto the cross, which continued to rise and draw me forth into the heavens...
Saturday 21st May. LBR. 02.15 a.m. T. O=O the Hierophant asks the Stolistes his station and duty. Stolistes (North) symbolises cold and moisture and he takes care of the robes and insignia and purifies with water.
07.00 a.m. Fabric Vision: I was in a room, a very old room which was filled with light. I seemed to be conscious of actually being in another room, as if my eyes were open, physically, but of course they were not. I instructed myself to wake at exactly 08.13 a.m. and did so to the minute without the aid of any such ‘outward’ alarm
10.15 a.m. Eucharistos.
Sunday 22nd May. LBR. 02.40 a.m. T. O=O the Kerux section of the ceremony, station and duty etc.
03.00 a.m. Tatwa: Ether of Air (black oval within a blue disc). I began well but very tired to do the simplest of work.
Monday 23rd May. LBR. The Equinox volume I number x.
Tuesday 24th May. LBR. 02.45 a.m. T. O=O the stations continue: Hierophant asks Hegemon his station and duties. The work ended at 03.27 a.m.
03.30 a.m. R.C. in Ajna: Muladhara – Ajna. Mantra: A.M.P.H. (Aum Mani Padme Hum) a few breaks and R.C. quite good. There followed a short vision in which I was a female being in a long tunnel. I felt the presence of three masculine entities which were wolf-like.
Saturday 28th May. LBR. 02.50 a.m. T. O=O Hierophant asks the Hierus his station and duties (black robe), Sword of Justice and the Banner of the West. End at 03.22 a.m.
03.25 a.m. R.C. in Ajna. Mantra: A.M.P.H. [R.C. appeared against a blue vibrant sky and was reflected in water]. I worked with the Chakras and saw an image of a skull, just the cranium, there was no jaw bone. It was yellow in colour, stained by age. It then became blue, like a negative image of itself. I suddenly felt as if my eyes were fully open but as ever they were tightly closed. The work ended at 03.45 a.m.
Fabric Vision, received later: The Children of the Veil. I was standing in a dark room (or I may have been in my asana position) and I noticed that little tiny noses were poking through a dark veil. At first I paid no attention to them, then, wherever I happened to look I saw the tiny nose tips and nothing else beyond the black veil. As I felt around in the darkness I could feel their small cold naked bodies yet I could not see them except for their nose tips. ‘Begone! Begone!’ I shouted and commanded. And all the children of the darkness, those that had not been born (a reference to the formula of ALIM and also of the eleventh degree in the O.T.O.) came running from beyond the veil in complete confusion. I felt as if another presence was there also and it was scornful of me and even laughing at the fool of an adept, who thinks he can enter the veil!
10.00 a.m. Eucharistos.
Sunday 29th May. LBR. 02.20 a.m. Asana: Legs crossed and spine rigid. Mantra: A.M.P.H. Failure! I was too tired to continue and ended after just ten minutes.
Tuesday 31st May. LBR. 02.15 a.m. T. O=O the Hierophant explains his station and duties. I am the Hierophant between the pillars, my head and torso rise high into the air yet my feet are firm in Malkuth (the hands are also able to act within Malkuth). I then contracted – yea, even beyond the confines of my own physical body. I took this to be a sign showing Kether in Malkuth which was caused by the reciting of the Hierophant’s speech. It was as if I had become the triad: (a) the body of light in the Temple as the Hierophant, (b) my consciousness in Kether and (c) my physical ‘earth’ body in Malkuth. The work ended at 02.55 a.m. I then performed the Banishing rituals and Invoked Spirit active (equilibration in the east) and Invoked the Air Pentagram in the four quarters: E.S.W.N. (Air being active).
Asana 03.00 – 03.35 a.m. Legs crossed and spine rigid. Very warm conditions but the body was trembling. Assumption of the God form Shu. I fixed the symbol of Air, which rose upwards and into my Ajna, and then beyond. The work finished at 03.35 a.m. as the light was returning in the east. LBR.
Wednesday 1st June. LBR. 12.10 – 1.00 p.m. In my asana outdoors beneath the hot rays of the sun! The pain became intense at 12.50 p.m.
Thursday 2nd June. LBR. 02.20 a.m. T. O=O the Stolistes and Dadouchos, purifies and consecrates with fire and water. End at 02.45 a.m. whereupon I attempt the R.C. in Ajna. The symbol rises from the Muladhara Chakra and into Kether (white brilliance) and beyond and back again to Ajna. Mantra: A.M.P.H. very good. Unstoppable! Asana: Legs crossed. It was a very hot night. During one of the breaks I almost became lost in Union (Dhyana) of which as yet I have not attained. I ended the work at 03.15 a.m.
08.30 a.m. Eucharistos.
Friday 3rd June. LBR. 07.55 a.m. Vision: I was lying in bed in my room. It was early morning. With my astral eyes I could observe clearly that there was a light in the room and a window was open. It was windy outside. The door was opening and closing a little because of the draught from the window. I was beneath the blanket. I heard the door slam shut and everything went dark as I looked up from beneath the blanket, which suddenly flew into the air as some large and powerful presence lay down beside me. It was pushing my upper body from the bed and at the same time my ears were being deafened by the screaming of the Nada, which increased in volume. I woke from this with my ears ringing and my upper body thrust to the side of the bed and half hanging outside it. I was full of fear! I had experienced the full animalistic strength of what I termed at the time the ‘dweller on the threshold’, not visible but a definite presence, as it has been [and will be] so often. It must be overcome! These astral attacks which so often spill out into physical reality have become a common occurrence over the years and I have learnt to ‘banish’ them in my own way and escape from the assault. They are always experienced during the vulnerability of sleep and sometimes physical paralysis occurs too. It must be noted that so often a piercing tone (Nada) like the strike of a bell that vibrates and increases in volume nearly always signals an attack of this nature (2).
Saturday 4th June. LBR. 03.05 a.m. Tatwa: Akasa (spirit). Mantra: A.M.P.H. I began well but failed to achieve anything of significance. Previous to this I did Temple work: T. O=O the circumambulation.
03.10 a.m. R.C. in Ajna. I attempted it first without the mantra, but I found it difficult to control the mind, so I had to use it (A.M.P.H.) but I used it at a reduced rate, slower than usual. I had some strange feelings because of this: (a) Like being smothered in a blanket of darkness, and (b) two lesser sensations as of being turned around 360 degrees, and the ‘inward’ becoming the ‘outward’. I tried with the R.C. in Kether and I became conscious of a duality, as if my body of light (spirit) were looking upon my body of earth. There was no difficulty in doing this and it seemed to occur naturally with the R.C. in Kether.
Tuesday 7th June. LBR. 02.10 a.m. T. O=O the Hierophant announces the end of the mystical circumambulations, and rise of light, and the adorations begin.
02.30 a.m. Asana: Arrowhead. A warm night. Mantra: A.M.P.H. I visualised a golden Ankh – the blue light penetrated my consciousness as it usually does previous to works of this nature, after some rapid breathing. I saw the golden Ankh in the blue sky in the East. The Arrowhead seems a good posture; the hands and feet which were touching, completely disappeared – not painfully, but just ‘lost’. The head was resting on the chest and a white light was about me. I could have done much longer in my asana and was a little disappointed with the Ankh. I ended at 03.20 a.m. Asana and Ankh duration: 50 minutes.
Wednesday 8th June. LBR. 02.45 a.m. ‘Khabs Am Pekht’, ‘Konx Om Pax’, ‘Light In Extension’ – 03.13 a.m. R.C. in Ajna.
Friday 10th June. LBR. Vision: I was led through a passageway and up stairs to different levels of a building and into many rooms. I was guided by the Master (the Guardian of the Lunar and Solar Principles). The rooms were large and white in colour. I left the Master and walked up a stairway to the Lunar (female) quarters of the building (or Sanctuary). I began talking to a young girl (Soror) who was about fourteen years old in appearance. She spoke French and she said she will teach me to speak English, but just then the Master returned and escorted me away, as I was not permitted to be there because it was purified only to the Lunar Principle. I told him that I was looking into one of the rooms I had stayed in before (presumably in a previous incarnation as a female) and I told him of the changes I had observed. I followed the Master into the Inner Sanctum which was purified to both the Lunar and Solar Principles conjoined. The furnishings were of wood and metal, these symbolised the Solar Principle, and fur and soft furnishings symbolised the Lunar Principle. We went along a short passageway into the gardens and I noticed a stone chess board beyond the flower beds which were planted on a slope. I followed the Master up this slope... Just then, I noticed a loud sound at the base of my skull, slightly at the right hand side; a buzzing noise which brought me swiftly from the vision state. It is a sound I have often had and is reminiscent of an inner explosion that echoes inside the head and pulses like an electric wave.
The Sanctuary of the Solar and
Lunar Principles
The Temple and the Garden
Saturday 11th June. LBR. 02.35 a.m. Asana: Thunderbolt. Ida – (Puraka 10, Khumbhaka 10); Pingala – (Rechaka 10, Khumbhaka 10). I had a vision of the Voluptuous Adulterer: the Snake Serpent. I tried to use the Mantra: A.M.P.H. but did not proceed with it as it was of no use. I saw the ‘Winged Globe’ from the Stele of Revealing and made Dharana. Then there came a vision of the Crying Isis. The work ended at 02.53 a.m. Duration of asana: 18 minutes.
Sunday 12th June. LBR. 02.30 a.m. T. O=O the Candidates admission; the hoodwink and the rope – before the knock – 02.58 a.m.
03.05 a.m. Asana: Legs crossed. Stomach empty, breathing slow and rhythmical with hands on thighs. On thinking of the ceremony, a phrase entered my consciousness: ‘There is Chaos between the Pillars’. The work ended at 03.35 a.m. Pentagram in Ajna. During the asana I attempted Dharana on the tip of my nose – I became conscious of my ‘astral’ self before me and we were touching nose to nose, like a mirror image. I rose into Kether in a sort of ‘third’ person and viewed the astral and earth body, the duality: Looking out is looking in! Duration of asana: 30 minutes.
Monday 13th June LBR. The Numerations of Asnia which were partly discovered yesterday on Sunday 12th June:
Aleph 1
Yod 10
Nun 50
Samekh 60
Aleph 1
Total= 122. [Aleph, Yod, Nun 1+10+50=61] and [Samekh, Aleph 60+1=61] 1 + 11 squared [10+1=11, 50+60+1=111 – A=111 in full], or 1+56+65=122= Hadit (1) + Nuit (56) + Adonai/eimi (65) = ‘I am Horus’ [unsure about this].
61= AIN (negative) also ANI (ego)
50= Death (Binah)
60= Restriction
11= Number of Magick
122=1=Unity. (22= Letters of the Hebrew Alphabet and the Paths on the Sephira Tree of Life).
6-1=5
6-1=5
1+2+2=5 = 555 Hadit in full.
6x1=6
6x1=6
1+2x2=6 = 666 the Beast etc.
50 divided by 10=5 Pentagram (Microcosm)
60 divided by 10=6 hexagram (Macrocosm)
5+6=11 HAD and number of Magick.
65=Adonai
65+1+1=67 (Binah) [and Achad Unity – Binah + Kether]
56= NU
Elements: Air, Fire, Water, Earth and Air.
By the Tarot: Fool. Temperance. Death. Hermit and Fool= ‘Folly is the self sacrifice of initiation and the secret gate of the fool!’
122=
1-2 (=O)-2= OOO [Ain Soph Aur]
1-2 (=O) x2=OO [Ain Soph]
1x2 (=2)-2= O [Ain]
1+2 (=3)-2=1 [Kether]
1+ (2 divided by 2=1) =2 [Chokmah]
2+2 (=4)-1=3 [Binah, Saturn]
1x2 (=2) +2=4 [Chesed, Jupiter]
1+2+2=5 [Geburah, Mars]
1+2 (=3) x2=6 [Tiphereth, Sun]
12(2 squared) =1+2+4=7 [Netzach, Venus]
1x2x4=8 [Hod, Mercury]
1(2 squared) (2 squared) =1+4+4=9 [Yesod, Moon]
1(2 squared) 2= 1+4x2=10 [Malkuth, Earth]
Wednesday 15th June. LBR. 02.42 a.m. T. O=O the admittance into the Hall.
09.50 a.m. Eucharistos. The darkness of initiation has begun!
Thursday 16th June. LBR. 02.50 a.m. T. O=O the Purification and Consecration of P.A.A.A.
02.57-03.25 a.m. Asana and Mantra: A.M.P.H. Chakras. I was very exhausted. I noticed a shudder of enormous strength throw my upper body to the right, it was like an electric current within me [could this be connected to the spasmodic jerks that are assumed to move the body during asana?] There is a shadow of doubt upon me.
Saturday 18th June. LBR. The right forearm (wrist) now has a very vivid circle upon it, slightly larger and slightly higher than the circle on the left forearm. Both circles contain an inner circle. What does this mean? Is it a form of stigmata? Why are they almost perfect mirror images of each other? I do not know.
Sunday 19th June. LBR. 02.45 a.m. T. O=O at the altar stands P.A.A.A. and the Hegemon gives his answers to the Hierophant: ‘Why does thou seek to enter the Sacred Hall?’ etc and the work ended at 03.02 a.m.
03.05 a.m. Asana: Legs crossed. H.P.K. [Hoor Par Kraat] in Ajna, on the Lotus Leaf. Mantra: A.M.P.H. (quite good only a few breaks). I removed H.P.K. and place my astral form before me in the assumption of the god form H.P.K. I had to end the work at 03.15 as I was disturbed by outside sounds. Stomach empty. A windy and warm night. Continued with mantra: A.M.P.H. into sleep.
6.30-7.45 p.m. Asana: Legs crossed. Dharana on Yoni [the expansion and contraction] caused a vibratory sensation in Muladhara after the expansion and contraction ended. Pain began at 7.40 p.m. and the duration of the asana was 75 minutes.
Tuesday 21st June. LBR. [Summer Solstice] 02.25 a.m. Asana: Legs crossed and hands on Yesod. Stomach empty. Chakras. My astral body before me, also seated in asana, robed in red with the R.C. on the breast and wand in the right hand. I transferred from the earth to the astral and performed the LBR. A filmy mist was around me as I rose into the air. There was a feeling of eternal peace and tranquillity. I became fatigued in the rising and ended at 02.50 a.m. I again heard the Nada in the right ear like an explosion which lasted around 30 seconds or more. It decreased in strength and sound. I had the image of a match being struck as an analysis – the flame on the initial strike = the enthusiasm, powerful [Isis], Then it settles in size and strength, and flows freely towards an end without the initial enthusiasm [Apothis]. Then it burns out and all is completed, the will is done! [Osiris].
Wednesday 22nd June. LBR. 11.30 a.m. Eucharistos.
Saturday 25th June. LBR. 03.00 a.m. Asana: Dragon. Very hot and stomach empty. Pranayama: Puraka=10, Kumbhaka=5, Rechaka=10, Kumbhaka=5. I felt this was too easy to do so I increased it to 10/10/10/10. I began to sweat a little and heard thunder in the distance. I ended at 03.10 a.m. mantra: A.M.P.H. with R.C. in Ajna. Very good, R.C. was rising into the sky in the East and I ended at 03.20 a.m.
Duration: Asana=20 minutes (pain at the end and I could not move at all, I was completely rigid after just 10 minutes). Pranayama=10 minutes. Mantra=10 minutes (very good rhythm).
10.40 a.m. Eucharistos. Emotionally the O=O is having an effect upon me which is not good.
Tuesday 28th June. LBR. 02.27 a.m. T. O=O ‘Obligation’ and keeping the secrets and the mystery of the Order. Ending at 02.44 a.m. A short exercise concerning ‘Berashith till 02.47 a.m.
02.50 a.m. Asana: Arrowhead. R.C. in Ajna (a few breaks). R.C. was good in short bursts then breaks would occur on thinking about the asana etc. The word ‘Mountain’ entered my consciousness for some reason. I opened my eyes and saw the R.C., gold and red before me. Stomach empty and ended at 03.10 a.m.
Wednesday 29th June. LBR. 02.43 T. O=O ‘Obligations’ and P.A.A.A. kneels at the altar.
Notes:
1. For an explanation of the Temple see ‘Magick’, by Aleister Crowley: Chapter 18: Of Clairvoyance and the Body of Light. [p. 261 in the John Symonds and Kenneth Grant 1973 Guild Publishing edition]. In reference to the O=O (Neophyte) ceremony, the rituals are found in Israel Regardie’s ‘The Golden Dawn: An Account of the Teachings, Rites and Ceremonies of the Order of the Golden Dawn’ (Llewellyn’s Golden Dawn series) 1971. [1989 ed].
2. Incubus: a male demon who lies upon the sleeping female and attempts sexual intercourse, although cases of an incubus preying upon a male sleeper are not unheard of! Succubus: the female counterpart.
1. For an explanation of the Temple see ‘Magick’, by Aleister Crowley: Chapter 18: Of Clairvoyance and the Body of Light. [p. 261 in the John Symonds and Kenneth Grant 1973 Guild Publishing edition]. In reference to the O=O (Neophyte) ceremony, the rituals are found in Israel Regardie’s ‘The Golden Dawn: An Account of the Teachings, Rites and Ceremonies of the Order of the Golden Dawn’ (Llewellyn’s Golden Dawn series) 1971. [1989 ed].
2. Incubus: a male demon who lies upon the sleeping female and attempts sexual intercourse, although cases of an incubus preying upon a male sleeper are not unheard of! Succubus: the female counterpart.
THE MAGIC BOOK WORM
REVIEWS BY BARRY VAN-ASTEN
Witchcraft For Tomorrow - by Doreen Valiente.
Doreen Valiente brings the old craft into the New Age with this intense and fascinating study. Her passion for historical accuracy brings in such great figures as George Pickingill, Gerald Gardner, Dion Fortune and of course Crowley and the extent to which he may have influenced Gardner in composing certain Rites. These figures were true pioneers in the early days of British witchcraft and so there is an intimate feel to this wonderfully written, methodical handbook.
Valiente explores the origin of the craft and its practice today through eleven chapters giving insight into certain subjects such as the festivals (the Greater and Lesser Sabbats); the magic circle, tools and symbols right through to the working site. There is also a beautiful and frank chapter concerning witchcraft and sex magic which is truly enlightening.
Finally, the book ends with a Book of Shadows showing various Rites of Consecration and Invocation along with certain chants and dances etc. This is an invaluable book for anyone wishing to know more about the craft of the wise and a handy practical guide for beginners. Blessed be!
The Magick Of Thelema: A Handbook Of The Rituals Of Aleister Crowley - by Lon Milo Duquette.
This is a unique book in the world of occult literature in that it tackles Thelemic ceremonial Magick and gives a thorough grounding in the basic elements and techniques. There are chapters on the significance and importance of the Pentagram and Hexagram rituals - the foundation of all magick, to the sublime beauty of the Gnostic Mass.
To the beginner and intermediate practitioner of Magick alike, the classic rituals of Aleister Crowley can seem somewhat complex and confusing. L.M. Duquette looks at various obscure aspects of the rituals and gives general hints and explanations from his own extensive practical knowledge of the subject and shows how to perform them in accordance to the Aeon of Horus. He explores such rituals as: The Star Ruby; The Star Sapphire; Liber V vel Reguli; the solar rites - Liber Resh and The Mass of the Phoenix. Of particular interest is his innovative study of Liber Samekh, where he goes into great depth and detail, producing a workable and structured format that is easy to follow at all points of the ceremony.
Throughout all this, L.M. Duquette's sense of humour is also present in this extraordinary ground-breaking and thought-provoking, must have book!
The Magical Revival - by Kenneth Grant.
Published in 1972, ‘The Magical Revival’ by Kenneth Grant (1924-2011) is the first work in his Typhonian Trilogy and in it he introduces certain theories and practices which extend upon the writings of Aleister Crowley. Grant, who studied under Crowley during 1944 until the great man’s death in 1947, became the Head of the British Ordo Templi Orientis (O.T.O.) and is widely accepted as an authority on various aspects of metaphysical and magical phenomena as understood within Crowley’s ‘Argenteum Astrum’ (A. A.) system of Magick and the O.T.O. The book explores such subjects as the Kundalini force utilised in Sex Magick; the Barbarous Names of Evocation and the attitude towards drug use during ceremonies and vision-skrying etc. Grant also draws parallels between the writing of H P Lovecraft (1890-1937), with his Cthulhu Mythos and Crowley’s Thelemic system with its central pillar: Liber Al vel Legis (The Book of the Law), and he has much to say on many of the leading lights within the occult world, such as Dion Fortune (1890-1946), A. O. Spare (1886-1956), C S Jones [Frater Achad] (1886-1950), and Jack Parsons (1914-1952) to name a few. This important book is a source of extensive information to the student and intermediate as it concerns many otherwise obscure points within Magick. Grant, whose great mind condenses many difficult ‘esoteric’ notions into an understandable framework, (although the subject matter remains very advanced by its nature), really strips away at the symbolism as much as he can within reason upon the subject of Sex in certain mystical and magical rites to reveal a work of beauty that sheds light where other authors have feared to illuminate! In the years to come his work will be re-appraised and given the serious appreciation it deserves, and rightfully so! Fantastic!
The Holy Books of Thelema, being The Equinox, volume III, number 9 - by Aleister Crowley.
A series of divinely inspired texts received by the occultist Aleister Crowley in 1907 and 1911. Crowley maintained that he was not the sole author for these works and that they were written by an intelligence independent of his own. The Holy Books are the foundation of the mystical, magical and religious system known as Thelema which declares that there is no law beyond do what thou wilt! Included in this collection of remarkable visionary texts is the sublimely beautiful Liber Liberi vel Lapidis Lazuli; Liber LXV – Cordis Cincti Serpente; Liber LXVI: Stellae Rubeae; Liber A’ash and of course The Book of the Law [Liber Al vel Legis] with its three chapters which were delivered unto mankind in Cairo in 1904.
Together with a detailed preface and a synopsis on how the Holy Books were received, this compelling collection reveals more of its beauty with each reading and whether they are regarded as a ‘divine utterance’ or just inspired poetry, the Holy Books of Thelema is a thing of staggering wonder and illumination! Love is the law, love under will!
Secrets of Modern Witchcraft Revealed: Unlocking the Mysteries of the Magickal Arts - by Lady Sabrina.
Books on witchcraft can be a hit and miss affair, and frankly, I didn’t hold out much hope for this. But I was pleasantly surprised by this informative and well-written book! The mysterious Lady Sabrina, High Priestess and founder of Our Lady of Enchantment Seminary of Wicca, has produced a practical ‘hands-on’ manual with exercises for both beginners and more experienced witches. ‘Revealed’ are the basic elements of witchcraft and magick, from the tools used in the ceremonies and the casting of the circle, to the more advanced techniques such as herbal lore, runes and talismans, and much more! Secrets of Modern Witchcraft Revealed offers a no-nonsense approach to the path of the wise and Lady Sabrina’s guiding hand and helpful advice throughout this useful and delightful book are indeed gentle and reassuring to the novice! Fabulous!
PEGAMINA
By BARRY VAN-ASTEN
PART THREE
THE UNSPEAKABLE TOAD
Things certainly were different indeed, for it seemed as if the world had suddenly lost its pulse; as if it had suddenly put its foot down and cried ‘enough!’ and refused to turn anymore. Things inside and things outside, all had changed, like looking at things for the first time and realising that everything has a right to be, and a place to be, no matter how strange. ‘I don’t suppose anything will ever be as it was’ she thought as she walked beside the calm river that looked so lovely in the golden sunlight. After walking a short distance, she decided to stop at the river’s edge to look at her reflection, but Pegamina was quite astonished to find that there was no reflection whatsoever. ‘Perhaps it’s a magical river’ she thought for it was a very odd river indeed and not like any other river she had ever seen before. ‘I wonder where it goes’ she thought to herself. And after peering into it for a short while, she suddenly dipped her fingers into it and put them to her mouth, quite why she did this she did not know but it tasted like all the nice things she had ever tasted, though she did not know specifically what things. And as she looked about her she could see an old clock tower on the opposite side of the riverbank, just a little further on. It had a large wooden wheel, half-hidden in the river and the reeds that seemed like it hadn’t turned for so very long. ‘Such a sad and lonely place’ she thought as she looked upon its dark windows and its little garden shaded by the trees. ‘I wonder who lives there’ she said to herself, ‘if only I could cross the river, I would so like to go inside’.
‘There’s a bridge!’ said a voice.
‘Where’s a bridge?’ said Pegamina.
‘Where bridges begin and bridges end of course!’
‘Who’s talking?’ inquired Peg, looking round but seeing no one.
‘I’m talking!’ and out from behind an old tree stump, a croaking toad suddenly jumped and said:
‘How do you do, how do you don’t!’
'Hello, I do very well thank you’ answered Pegamina.
‘And how do you don’t?’ said the quizzical toad.
‘I don’t very well’ Pegamina replied, somewhat bemused.
‘Splendid’ was all that the toad croaked.
‘But who are you?’ said a puzzled Pegamina.
‘I’m the unspeakable toad but it’s of no consequence. A charming day, don’t you think?’
‘Oh yes, quite charming. But tell me, why are you unspeakable? I didn’t even know toads could speak’.
‘Of course toads can speak! But toads are quite unspeakable. No one wants to talk about toads, do they?’
‘I don’t know, I’ve never really thought about it’ said Peg.
‘You see! No one even thinks about toads; quite unspeakable, quite’ said the sad looking toad. ‘It is a fact, you know’ he continued, ‘that if beauty is a prison then toads are exceedingly free, being exceedingly ugly, don’t you see?’ and the toad jumped towards Pegamina, which made Pegamina jump a little too. ‘But you know’ he began again, as he took a deep breath, ‘ugliness is only beauty undecided which way to go, but when she does go, she really goes! There’s no way of stopping it, not even by putting a carpet over it. Nature will take its course, of course’.
‘Oh yes, of course’ agreed Pegamina, yawning. And then she changed the subject:
‘Toad, can you tell me who lives over there?’ and she pointed to the clock tower on the opposite side of the river.
‘That’s the time mill, nobody lives there or ever goes there; it’s a very sad story, would you like to hear it?’
‘Oh yes, I would please’ and Pegamina sat down.
‘Then I shall begin’ said the toad, stretching his neck.
‘Oh, is it going to begin “once upon a time?”’ Peg said excitedly.
‘Please don’t interrupt, there is no time here and you will shortly see why’ snapped the toad, trying to look important, but only managed pompous.
‘I’m sorry, do go on please’ said Pegamina shyly.
‘Well, it all happened long, long ago in the days of time, when things moved forwards and were measured in equal parts according to the time mill that kept the time, all the time. Now, in this time mill there lived a small boy and his grandfather who was the custodian of the clock; a very important position, you see. Well, the young boy, having no other little friends to play with became very strange indeed in his behaviour. He would stand for hours on end, just looking out over the river, as if he could see things others could not see and he would talk in a strange language; a nonsense language that no one could understand. Such a sad and lonely little boy with his dark eyes and his pale face, as if all the colour had been drained from his little body to leave only a grey shell behind it...’ and here the toad broke off from his story ‘did you know that during the day toads are green and grey, but during the night, toads are pink and white?’
‘That is interesting, but please will you continue with your story’.
‘Yes of course. Where was I?’ said toad scratching his head.
‘You were saying that the boy had no colour!’
‘Ahh yes, well, even without colour he had a strange and fascinating beauty, though he did have some fanciful ways! He became so afraid of the sun that he was never seen outside of the mill during the daytime and his grandfather became so worried that he would try all manner of things to give the boy some sort of interest in life but all to no avail. Well, gradually the boy grew much worse and there was no getting through to him. He would not eat, he would not sleep, and he would look at nothing but his own feet...’ and here the toad broke off from the story once again, ‘did you know, that toads are very fond of feet? There is an old custom in this land and a song that goes with it:
We tread on the toads on toad-treading day,
We tread the little toads quite away
Until they have no more to say,
For every day is toad-treading day!’
‘That’s all very interesting, but I should like to hear the rest of the story please’ Peg yawned.
‘Story? Oh yes of course. Well the boy had quite retreated from himself; found somewhere better to live, I suppose’ and the toad laughed, but seeing that Pegamina did not find it at all funny, he continued:
‘One night, the boy climbed to the top of the clock tower for you see he had quite fallen head over heels in love with the moon! Did I say “heels”?’
‘Yes, go on!’
‘Well, he was standing on the edge of the tower, reaching out to capture the moon when suddenly he reached too far and fell from the tower and into the river – whoosh...plop!’
‘Oh no!’ cried Pegamina.
‘Oh yes!’ laughed the toad, ‘it was all very tragic. You see, because the great wooden wheel that turned the cogs of the old clock dragged him under the water where he was unable to free himself. The wheel jammed and would not turn, and so time, so to speak as it used to be known, stopped, never to begin again’.
‘That’s a very sad story, but tell me, what happened to the grandfather?’ Pegamina said, a little tearful.
‘Oh he was so overcome with grief that he destroyed all the inner workings parts of the clock: its cogs and shafts and its spindles and weights until it could not be put back together again, and so now, only the great wheel and the clock face remain. He died a very lonely and miserable old man soon afterwards. And no one has been there ever since’.
‘I should like to go there’ was all Pegamina said.
Some time (if there were such a thing as time) elapsed before either the toad or Pegamina spoke again, for each had been thinking of equally important things. In Peg’s case, it was the story of the boy in the time mill that loved the moon that killed him. And as for the toad, it was feet, feet and more feet!
‘But wouldn’t you be afraid?’ the toad said, not liking the silence and thinking of nothing else to say.
‘Afraid of what?’ asked Pegamina, still gazing at the clock tower.
‘Ghosts of course!’ whispered toad.
‘Oh, I can’t say that I wouldn’t be afraid, not until I have actually seen one, so to speak’.
‘I think I should be very afraid’ said the toad, and having no more to add he rolled onto his back and remained there for quite some time. And Pegamina just gazed at the river.
‘Toad’ Pegamina said in a quiet tone of voice.
‘Yeeeeeeees’ he elongated.
‘You said there is a bridge’.
‘So I did’.
‘How may I find it?’
‘Why, you follow the course of the river, of course!’ puffed the toad.
‘Oh yes, of course’ sighed Pegamina.
‘Toad’ she said again, just as quietly.
‘Yeeeeeeees’ he croaked.
‘I shall have to be going now for it is getting quite dark and I don’t much care for the dark’.
‘Then we must say goodbye!’
‘Yes, goodbye toad’ Pegamina said stretching out a hand.
‘What are you doing?’ said a perplexed toad.
‘I’m saying goodbye!’
‘But that’s not how it’s done!’
‘Oh, isn’t it?’
‘No!’
‘Then how is it done?’
‘By the treading, of course!’
‘What did you say toad?’
‘I said by the treading’ he repeated.
‘Treading what?’
‘Treading me, of course!’
‘But won’t it hurt?’
‘Oh yes, terribly!’
‘Then I should rather not, if you don’t mind?’
‘Oh but I do mind! In fact I insist! Every day is toad-treading day, don’t you know! It’s tradition and you can’t fight tradition!’
‘I can and I will!’ stamped Pegamina.
‘You can’t and you won’t!’
‘I can!’
‘Can’t!’
‘Can!’
‘Can’t!’
This exchange went on for quite some time, if indeed there were such a thing as time, until eventually Pegamina became so cross that she shouted:
‘I think you’re a very silly toad and I don’t wish to speak to you anymore!’ and at this, the toad hitched up his neck and puffed out his cheeks and croaked:
‘Why does no one talk of toads? We are so unmentionable! The green unspeakable!’ and he sighed before jumping into the river and out of sight again.
Pegamina and the Unspeakable Toad
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