Volume I, Number IV.

Illustration: Greatly Honoured Frater
Volo Noscere, by Barry Van-Asten.

Volume 1, Number 4.   Spring Equinox. An CX ☉ in 29° Pisces, ☽ in 16° Scorpio.
Thursday 20th March 2014 e.v.
  'Draw into naught All life, death, hatred, love:
All self concentred in the sole desire -
Hear thou the Voice of Fire!'
Tannhauser. Aleister Crowley.
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.
Love is the law, love under will.
Volume 1, Number 4 of the Voice of Fire is dedicated to George Cecil Jones [1873-1960]

                                                     George Cecil Jones
                                                     A Brief Crowley Chronology
                                                     Hymn to Astarte
                                                     In Manu Regis
                                                     The Growth of God by Aleister Crowley
                                                     Some Observations into the Thelemic Gematria
                                                     Of Liber Al vel Legis. Part 2.
                                                     The King Ghost by Aleister Crowley
                                                     Her Witchcraft
                                                     Ol Sonuf Vaoresaji
                                                     The Wand of Silence
                                                     The Magic Book Worm
                                                     Pegamina part four

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law
As we wrestle from the dark days of winter we celebrate the return of the sun to the bog lands and sodden flood plains of England. We welcome the joyous wonder of the return of spring and the fragile fluttering of new life. There is a strong sense of spiritual renewal and the potential for new growth: the day is lengthening and Love is ever present upon the horizon! But ‘there are love and love. There is the dove, and there is the serpent. Choose ye well!’ [AL. I. 57] Real love is in essence an unconditional state in which there is no differing factor: ‘Bind nothing! Let there be no difference made among you between any one thing & any other thing; for thereby there cometh hurt.’ [AL. I. 22] We must love without the ego’s all-consuming passion for division and for creating preference and prejudice, without unbalanced attachment for where there is an over-active attachment there is also restriction. This is a destructive form of love. ‘There is no bond that can unite the divided but love: all else is a curse.’ [AL. I. 41]
But this ‘Love’ is not a condition which weakens the individual, as can be seen in Christianity which teaches its followers to embrace one’s enemies and to turn the other cheek. As Thelemites we have the right to conduct our lives according to our will and to thwart those who would seek to act directly, imposing their will upon us and thereby restricting our nature and existence. ‘Beware therefore! Love all, lest perchance is a King concealed! Say you so? Fool! If he be a King, thou canst not hurt him. Therefore strike hard & low and to hell with them, master!’ [AL. II. 59 & 60]
Love, therefore is the uniting of one thing to another, a complete conjoining of the ‘subject’ to the ‘object’ in order to experience that unity. It is what attracts and holds two individuals or ‘stars’ together, whose orbits have come close. When love ceases to exist, those stars usually drift apart. The manifestation of Love in the material expression of that emotion is the sexual union of two individuals; a merging of the creative force in the most wonderful sacred act and declaration between two ‘stars’ united by the energy (bond) of Love. So, may the sun shine and its glorious Light uplift our hearts and may we all become united in Love!
Love is the law, love under will.
The Voice of Fire welcomes submissions (poetry, short stories, articles and reviews etc). Please send all submissions to the editor at barryvanasten418@hotmail.com


George Cecil Jones, A.C.G.L.I.; F.I.C.; F.C.S. played one of the most important parts in Crowley’s life, yet little is really known about him. Crowley says he was the son of a suicide and that he was Welsh. The former statement, I cannot confirm, but the latter is certainly not true! He was born George Cecil Jones, after his father, on Friday 10th January 1873, in Croydon, Surrey, England. He was educated from 1889-1893 at the City and Guilds of London Central Institute (A.C.G.L.I.); the Central Technical College in South Kensington and Birmingham University (1892) where he studied chemistry. In 1893 he became the assistant to Dr. F. W. Passmore, the consulting chemist at the London analytical chemists ‘Helbing and Passmore’. After eighteen months in this role, in late 1894, he worked at the Dowson Economic Gas and Power Company, in Basingstoke, Hampshire. At the time, Jones was living at Waterloo House, 58 Cliddesden Road in Basingstoke where he would live for the next seven years until 1901 when he is 28 and a 'chemical engineer'. Also in 1894, Jones became a Fellow of the Chemical Society (F.C.S.)
On Friday 12th July 1895, aged twenty-two, Jones became a member of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn at London’s Isis Urania Temple, taking the magical motto ‘Volo Noscere’ (I wish to know). In the following year he became a Fellow of the Institute of Chemistry (F.I.C.)
On Monday 11th January 1897, the day following Jones’s twenty-fourth birthday, he was admitted to the Golden Dawn’s Inner Order, taking the grade of Adeptus Minor 5°=6□ and the magical name Frater D.D.S. In October of 1898 his fellow chemist and Golden Dawn member Julian Levett Baker (1873-1958) introduced a young Cambridge man by the name of Aleister Crowley to Jones, and Crowley says of Jones that he ‘possessed a fiery but unstable temper’ and that he ‘bore a striking resemblance to many conventional representations of Jesus Christ. His spirit was both ardent and subtle. He was very widely read in Magick; and being by profession an analytical chemist, was able to investigate the subject in a scientific spirit. As soon as I found that he really understood the matter I went down to Basingstoke, where he lived, and more or less sat in his pocket.’ [Confessions. P. 172] Baker and Jones taught Crowley the techniques of astral visions and Jones seeing his great potential as a magician, introduced Crowley to the Golden Dawn and likewise to Macgregor Mathers. It was inevitable that Crowley would join the illustrious Order and so he did on Friday 18th November 1898 at London’s Mark Mason’s Hall, Jones taking the part of Kerux at the ceremony.
Between late 1898 and late 1899 Crowley was living at his flat in Chancery Lane, London, and Jones would visit and they would practice magic together. ‘One night Jones and I went out to dinner. I noticed on leaving the white temple that the latch of its Yale lock had not caught. Accordingly, I pulled the door to and tested it. As we went out, we noticed semi-solid shadows on the stairs; the whole atmosphere was vibrating with the forces which we had been using. (We were trying to condense them into sensible images.) When we came back, nothing had been disturbed in the flat; but the temple door was wide open, the furniture disarranged and some of the symbols flung about in the room. We restored order and then observed that semi-materialized beings were marching around the main room in almost unending procession.’ [Confessions. P. 182]
Crowley had asked his friend and fellow Golden Dawn member Frater Iehi Aour, Allan Bennett (1872-1923) to live at Chancery Lane and they practiced ceremonial magic together. Bennett was constantly suffering from ill health, physically weak from asthma. The ‘Confessions’ describe one episode in which magic was used to prolong the life of Greatly Honoured Frater Iehi Aour: ‘Jones and I had come to the conclusion that Allan would die unless he went to live in a warmer climate. However, he was penniless and we would not finance him for reasons given above. Instead, Jones and I evoked to visible appearance the Spirit Buer, of The Goetia, whose function is to heal the sick. We were partially successful; a helmeted head and the left leg being distinctly solid, though the rest of the figure was cloudy and vague. But the operation was in fact a success in the following manner. It is instructive to narrate this as showing the indirect and natural means by which the will attains its object.
I am constrained to a seeming digression. Many authors insist on the importance of absolute chastity in the aspirant. For some months I had been disregarding this injunction with a seductive siren whose husband was a colonel in India. Little by little I overcame my passion for her and we parted. She wrote to me frequently and tried to shake my resolution, but I stood firm. Shortly after the evocation of Buer, she wrote, begging me to call at her hotel. I cannot remember how it came into my mind to do what I did, but I went to see her. She begged me to come back to her and offered to do anything I wanted. I said to her, “You’re making a mess of your life by your selfishness. I will give you a chance to do an absolutely unfettered act. Give me a hundred pounds, I won’t tell you whom it’s for, except that it’s not for myself. I have private reasons for not using my own money in this matter. If you give me this, it must be without hoping or expecting anything in return.” She gave me the money – it paid Allan’s passage to Ceylon and saved to humanity one of the most valuable lives of our generation.’ [Confessions. P. 181-182]
In February 1900 Crowley asked Jones to join him at his Highland home, Boleskine House on the shore of Loch Ness, to assist Crowley during his performance of the Sacred Magic of Abra-Melin the Mage, but Jones was too busy and declined. The Sacred Magic was postponed due to the rebellion within the Golden Dawn. On Tuesday 3rd April 1900 Crowley was in London and he talked to his friends in the Golden Dawn about the rebels and what should be done. Jones, loyal to Mathers declared that there is no Golden Dawn without Mathers! Crowley was of much the same opinion and travelled back and forth to see Mathers in Paris. For further accounts concerning the ‘Battle of Blythe Road’ and the unfortunate outcome, see Crowley’s ‘Confessions’, ‘Liber LXI vel Causae’ Kaczynski’s ‘Perdurabo’ and ‘What you should know about the Golden Dawn’ by Israel Regardie (1985).
On Monday 3rd June 1901Jones gave a talk at the Society of Chemical Industry on ‘The need for greater care in introducing Gas-Firing into small Gasworks’.
In 1902 Jones became the Managing Chemist at Free, Rodwell & Co. Ltd. Maltsters of Mistley in Essex. In December of 1902 Crowley dedicated his ‘Ahab’ to Jones.
Crowley was planning to climb Kangchenjunga in 1905 and sometime before he left in May he wrote his will which read: ‘In case of my death, George Cecil Jones will carry out these instructions: Embalm the body. Dress it in white Tau robe with Abra-Melin red and gold tunic and girdle, and the Crown and Wand. Also the big red sword. Bury all magical jewels with me. A pastos and vault to be prepared for coffin and tomb; in shape as taught, but without and figuring. Use white stone. On the pastos write only Perdurabo. Let the vault be bricked up and concealed utterly from human sight nor let any memorial of its place be kept. In the vault place vellum editions of all my works, hermetically sealed up. The place shall be chosen by and known to George Cecil Jones alone. It shall be in ground consecrated by him. Aleister Crowley.’ [The Great Beast. John Symonds. Kangchenjunga, the Five Sacred Peaks.]
George Cecil Jones married Julian L. Baker’s sister Ethel Melinda Baker* in the spring of 1905 at Wandsworth. Ethel was born in 1875 at Camberwell, London. Also in 1905 Jones’s paper on the ‘Standardisation of Malt Analysis’ appeared in the Journal of the Institute of Brewing.
On Saturday 23rd June 1906, Jones visited Aleister Crowley and they discussed Crowley’s performance of the Abra-Melin Ritual (Augoeides). They talk all night and agree that Crowley is to take a ‘Great Retirement’ but is to remain close at hand for Jones to contact him. On Thursday 26th July 1906, Crowley goes to stay with Jones in Caulsdon, Surrey. The following day Crowley made his magical obligation re Augoeides with Jones in attendance. Two days later on Sunday 29th July they are discussing about the formation of a Magical Order (this of course would eventually become the A∴A∴). Crowley left for London on Monday 30th July.
Jones visits Crowley at Caulsdon on Saturday 22nd September (Crowley is staying at the Ashdown Park Hotel) and together they celebrate the Autumn Equinox. Jones revised the old Golden Dawn 0°=0□ Ritual and over the next few days they simplify and write out the ritual [see Liber 671 ‘Pyramidos’]
Also in 1906 George and Ethel Jones had a daughter named Eileen Cecil Jones, born at Mistley in Essex. On Sunday 18th November 1906 Crowley dedicated the epilogue of his Collected Works to G. C. Jones:

‘MY DEAR ION, - I address you by the unfamiliar title in giving you a man self-damned, God knows how unjustly, as the author of the phrase, “I am not an appreciator of poetry, and I have no Keats,” these volumes. For the matter thereof is already in great part yours and and as such cannot be given. The rest I offer because it is hardly possible to close definitely, as I do now, a period of many years’ work, without reflecting upon that period as a whole. And, when I do so, I find you at the beginning like Ladas or Pheidippides of old, running – ready to run until you achieve the goal or your heart burst; but you are among a crowd. I join you. Eight years ago this day you, Hermes, led me blindfold to awake a chosen runner of the course. “In all my wanderings darkness your light shone before me though I knew it not.” To-day (one may almost hope, turning into the straight) you and I are alone. Terrible and joyous! We shall find companions at the End, at the banquet, lissom and cool and garlanded; companions with a Silver Star or maybe a Jewelled Eye mobile and uncertain – as if alive – on their foreheads. We shall be bidden to sit, and they will wreathe us with immortal flowers, and give us to drink of the seemly wine of Iacchus – well! but until then, unless my heart deceives me, no third shall appear to join us. Indeed, may two attain? It seems a thing impossible in nature. May it not be that – near as the resounding roar of the viewless spectators sounds to our dust-dimmed ears – there stands some awful oppose in the way, some fear or some seduction? Why do you grip that bar in your left hand? Does not this loin-cloth irk my limbs? We should have shaved our heads before the race – the curls are moist and heavy! Why did we cumber ourselves with sandals? Long ere now our feet would have grown hard. Well, if my heart bursts, it bursts; you must give these volumes to the young athletes, that they may learn wherefore I failed – wherefore it was given unto me to run thus far. For, if I have put nothing else therein, most surely that is there.


On Monday 10th December 1906, Jones in contact with the Secret Chiefs declares Crowley a Master of the Temple 8°=3□ inviting him to join the Third Order. Crowley had crossed the Abyss.
In 1907 Jones started his own consultancy practice, taking offices at 43-45 Great Tower Street, London. He would remain in this role at this address until he retired in 1939. Jones also found time in 1907 to help Crowley with the writing of his ‘777’.
On Friday 15th November 1907 Crowley visited Jones and Crowley proposed John Frederick Charles Fuller (1878-1966) as the third member to form the A∴A∴ and Jones agrees and so the Order of the A∴A∴ is born! In 1908 ‘The Volumetric Determination of Reducing Sugars, Part II: the Limits of Accuracy of the Methods under standard conditions’ by Jones and Arthur R Ling appeared in ‘Analysis’. Also in the same year Jones’s ‘Note on the Determination of Extracts during Summer’ and his ‘Determination of Diastic Power by Lintner’s Method’ appeared in the Journal of the Institute of Brewing.
In 1909 he published with John H Jeffery ‘The Estimation of Iron by Parmanganate in Presence of Hydrochloric Acid’ which appeared in ‘Analyst’. He also contributed to ‘Allen’s Commercial Organic Analysis’ in 1909 with chapters on ‘Alcohols’ and ‘Wines and Potable Spirits’. In the 1913 edition he added ‘Non-Glucosidal Bitter Principles’.
In 1910 a son was born to the Jones family whom they named George Alan Jones. He was born in Lewisham and the family were living at 41D London Road, Forest Hill, Lewisham. On Saturday 29th October 1910 an article appeared in The Looking Glass titled ‘An Amazing Sect’ which attacked Crowley and the A∴A∴
On Saturday 26th November 1910 the third part to the article appeared, naming Jones and Allan Bennett (1872-1923) and hinting at unnatural associations with Crowley. Jones took The Looking Glass to court for libel and the case opened on Wednesday 26th April 1911 at the King’s Bench Division, London Law Courts. Jones does not call Crowley as a witness and neither does Crowley put himself forward and offer his assistance as Jones’s friend. The case ended the following day and the Jury sided in favour with The Looking Glass. Jones feels betrayed by Crowley and their friendship ends, as does Crowley’s friendship with J. F. C. Fuller [see ‘Jones vs The Looking Glass’]
Jones’s ‘Purchase of Fuel under Specifications’ appeared in the Journal of the Institute of Brewing in 1911 and little more is heard of Jones in the magical context. He settles down to family life and concentrates on his analytical chemical work.
He writes an article on ‘Vinegar’ published in ‘Technical Methods of Chemical Analysis’ v3 pt 1 by George Lung and Charles Alexander Keane, (Gurney and Jackson. London. 1914)
In 1915 ‘Analyst’ published his ‘Estimation of Methyl Alcohol in Presence of Ethyl Alcohol’. Also in the same year Jones published with Julian Levett Baker ‘Original gravity Tables, computed to hundredths of a degree, from the table attached to the Finance Act, 1914’.
John Symonds claimed in The Great Beast [The Persecution of the Thelemites] that Crowley meets fifty-one year old Jones and his friends in Paris on Saturday 17th May 1924. After Crowley had been ‘asked to leave’ his hotel at 50 Rue Vavin he sees ‘his old friend, George Cecil Jones, who had introduced him to the Golden Dawn, J. W. N. Sullivan, and an Argentine gentleman called Alexander Xul Zolar “who had been seeking me as a Master for some time”, unexpectedly turned up, more or less at the same time. While all four were sitting around a cafe table and taking turns at playing each other chess, Crowley bisected the base of an equilateral triangle with its apex towards the west, facing the moon, and posited: “Are not these the Three Holy Kings who have seen my Star in the West and come to worship me after my birth on May 1st?”
They had certainly brought offerings in the form of cash, food, and advice. “Jones offered nothing but instruction in the King’s Gambit. I beat him easily three times running. He had previously offered dinner but refused to worship me (in those actual words).”

George Cecil Jones died on Sunday 30th October 1960, at St Helen's Hospital, Hastings, Sussex. He was eighty-seven years old.

* In the 1901 census Ethel Melinda Baker was living at Hendham Road, Wandsworth with her family. She is 26 years old and a 'student'. Other family members are: George L Baker, her father born 1844 in St Mary's, Newington and 57 years old, he is a banker's clerk; Bessie H Baker, her mother, born in 1845 in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, aged 56; brother Julian L Baker, born 1873 in St Gile's, Camberwell, aged 28 and an 'Analytical chemist' and her sister, Muriel A Baker, born in 1876 in St Gile's, Camberwell, 25 years old and a 'governess'.

By Barry Van-Asten


Tuesday 12th October: Edward Alexander Crowley born at 30 Clarendon Square, Leamington Spa, Warwickshire, England, between 11 pm and midnight.


Sunday 29th February: Birth of Grace Mary Elizabeth Crowley, sister to Edward who died only 5 hours after being born.


Saturday 11th June: The Crowley family move to The Grange, Redhill in Surrey.


Young Edward transferred from St Leonard’s School to Ebor School, Cambridge.


Young Crowley begins to write poetry.


Saturday 5th March: Death of Edward’s father, Edward Crowley from cancer of the throat aged 43. Young Edward (Aleister) aged just 11 woke from a premonition of his father’s death. Shortly after, the Crowley family move from Redhill in Surrey to Thistle Grove (now Drayton Gardens), London.


Crowley pursues his interest in climbing which began the previous year, mostly in Scotland.


Spring: Crowley attends Malvern College, Worcestershire. Lent, Summer and Christmas Terms: Attended Tonbridge School in Kent, staying at Ferox Hall.


January to July: Attends Eastbourne College, East Sussex. He begins climbing Beachy Head and also climbs in Switzerland and Italy.


Crowley spends a lot of time climbing in Switzerland.
October: Attends Trinity College, Cambridge, having rooms at 16 St John’s Street.


Tuesday 31st December, the night of the full moon: Crowley is in Stockholm where he has his first mystical experience.


Moves into 35 Sidney Street, Cambridge.
October: Crowley meets Herbert Charles Jerome Pollitt (1872-1942). During the Christmas vacation Crowley travels to Amsterdam, St Petersburg and Berlin.
Thursday 23rd December: Crowley suffers a crisis of faith in Amsterdam.


January: Move into 14 Trinity Street, Cambridge.
March: He reads The Book of Black Magic and of Pacts by Arthur Edward Waite.
Easter vacation (April): At Wastdale Head with Pollitt, reading ‘Cloud Upon the Sanctuary’ by Karl von Eckharthausen. Crowley writes ‘Jezebel’ at Maidenhead and begins writing and self-publishing his own poetry: ‘Aceldama: a Place to Bury Strangers In’ (32 stanzas) and the erotic ‘White Stains’ and ‘The Tale of Archais’; ‘Songs of the Spirit’ ‘The Poem’; ‘Mysteries: Lyrical and Dramatical’ Crowley also leaves Cambridge without taking his degree. July: Reads Kabbalah Denudata (The Kabbalah Unveiled) by Knorr von Rosenroth. Summer: At the Cecil Hotel he writes ‘Jephthah’. He meets: Gerald Festus Kelly, Oscar Eckenstein (April), Julian L. Baker [Frater D. A.] (August), George Cecil Jones [Frater Volo Noscere] (October), and S. L. MacGregor Mathers.
Thursday 18th November (evening): Crowley is initiated into The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn as a Neophyte O=O, taking the magical motto: Frater Perdurabo (I will endure to the end) at Mark Mason Hall, London. He reads ‘The Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mage’.
November and December: Crowley begins exercises in astral travelling with George Cecil Jones.
December: Crowley passes to the next grade of Zelator 1=10.


‘The Honourable Adulterers’ published. ‘Songs of the Spirit’ published. ‘The Poem’ published. ‘Jezebel’ published. ‘The Fatal Force’ written. ‘An Appeal to the American Republic’ published.
January: Meets Allan Bennett [Frater Iehi Aour] among members of the Golden Dawn.
January and February: Crowley passes the grades of Theoricus 2=9 and Practicus 3=8. He publishes ‘Jephthah and other mysteries’.
May: Crowley passes to the grade of Philosophus 4=7.
Spring/summer: meets the poet W B Yeats and shows him ‘Jephthah’ and ‘Mysteries’. He also moves into rooms at 67 and 69 Chancery Lane, London taking the name Count Vladimir Svareff, where he is joined by fellow Golden Dawn magician Allan Bennett. He purchases Boleskine House in Scotland for the sole purpose of performing the sacred magic of Abramelin; he moves in during November.
December: Crowley takes the Portal Grade after a compulsory wait of seven months.


‘Tannhauser: A Story for All Time’ written in Mexico.
Tuesday 16th January: Crowley is admitted to the 2nd Order of the Golden Dawn and is initiated by Mathers into the grade of Adeptus Minor 5=6 taking the magical motto Christeos Luciftias. He applies to the Second Order in London for certain documents connected with his initiation in Paris, but he is refused.
Wednesday 7th February: At Boleskine, intending to begin the magical operation of Abramelin.
Saturday 24th February: Crowley makes preparations for the Sacred Magic of Abramelin: The Oath of the Beginning.
Friday 6th April: At 36 Blythe Road, London at the Isis Urania Temple (The Second Order Vault of the Adepts).
He is in Paris 9-13th April with Mathers.
Tuesday 17th April: At 36 Blythe Road with Elaine Simpson; they break into the Temple, taking possession and change the locks.
Allan Bennett travels to Ceylon where he becomes a Buddhist monk Bikkhu Ananda Metteya.
June: Crowley sails for the United States of America and reaches New York on Friday 6th July. He then travels on to Mexico. In Mexico he writes ‘Tannhauser’ in just 67 hours and becomes an Adeptus Major 6=5.


‘The Soul of Osiris’ and ‘Carmen Saeculare’ published.
Thursday 7th March: ‘The Mother’s Tragedy’ published.
Friday 3rd May: Crowley leaves San Francisco bound for Hawaii.
Thursday 9th May: Crowley met Mary Beaton [‘Alice’] in Honolulu and wrote ‘Alice an Adultery’ (50 sonnets, one sonnet for each day of their affair). They then go on to Japan. He travels to Ceylon and visits Allan Bennett.
Saturday 17th August: They travel to Kandy and rent a place together and Crowley studies Buddhism. November: Travels to India.
Saturday 16th and Sunday 17th November: Writes ‘Ascension Day’ and ‘Pentecost’.


‘Ambrosii Magi Hortus Rosarum’ published. ‘Tannhauser: A Story for All Time’ printed. ‘The Three Characteristics’ written. Began writing ‘The Argonauts’ and Book III of ‘Orpheus’.
January: Crowley is hunting in India.
Thursday 13th February: Crowley visits Allan Bennett in Burma.
Friday 21st February: Writing ‘Ahab’.
Monday 17th March: Writes ‘St Patrick’s Day’.
Tuesday 18th March: Completed writing Book III of ‘Orpheus’.
Thursday 20th and Friday 21st March: Wrote ‘Berashith’ in India. Also writes ‘Crowleymas Day’ on Thursday 20th March.
Monday 28th April: he leaves Srinagar to begin the climbing expedition to Chogo Ri (K2) in the Himalayas.
Saturday 4th October: Leaves India and goes to Cairo and then to Paris in November to meet MacGregor Mathers.


‘Alice, an Adultery’ published. ‘The Soldier and the Hunchback’ written. ‘The Psychology of Hashish’ written. ‘Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden’ published. ‘New Year’s Card’ published. ‘Berashith’ published. ‘Balzac’ published. ‘The Star and the Garter’ published. ‘Ahab’ published. ‘Summa Spes’ published. ‘The God-Eater: A Tragedy of Satire’ published.
July: Crowley at Boleskine in Scotland. He also completes his essay ‘The Initiated Interpretation of Ceremonial Magic’.
Tuesday 11th August: Rose Edith Kelly tells Crowley of her plight.
Wednesday 12th August: Rose and Crowley are married at Dingwall in Scotland. They go on to Paris, Marseilles and Naples.
Tuesday 3rd November: The married couple arrive in Cairo and in December arrive in Ceylon.
Winter: Crowley completed the essay ‘Science and Buddhism’.


‘The Sword of Song’ published. ‘The Argonauts’ published. ‘In Residence: The Don’s Guide to Cambridge’ published.
January: Crowley writes ‘Why Jesus Wept’ in 2 days at Kandy with Rose on their honeymoon.
Thursday 7th January: Crowley writes ‘Rosa Mundi’ while Rose is suffering the effects of fever.
Thursday 28th January: Rose and Crowley journey from Colombo to Cairo, arriving on Tuesday 9th February.
Either Monday 14th or Wednesday 16th March: The couple move into a flat in Cairo and Crowley assumes the name Chioa Khan.
Wednesday 16th March: Crowley performs the Preliminary Invocation of the Goetia for Rose’s amusement. The following day he invokes Thoth.
Friday 18th March: Rose tells Crowley the correct way to invoke Horus.
Saturday 19th March: Writes and performs the Invocation of Horus.
Sunday 20th March: Crowley again performs the Invocation of Horus.
Friday 8th April: Crowley receives the first chapter of the Book of the Law in Cairo from a discarnate entity known as Aiwass.
Saturday 9th April: Crowley receives the second chapter of the Book of the Law.
Sunday 10th April: Crowley receives the third and final chapter of the Book of the Law and claims the grade of Adeptus Major 6=5, taking the magical motto Ol Sonuf Vaoresagi.
Thursday 28th July: Birth of Crowley’s daughter Nuit Ma Ahathoor Hecate Sappho Jezebe Lilith Crowley at Boleskine in Scotland.
Spring/Summer: ‘The Book of the Goetia of Solomon the King’ – or ‘The Lesser Key of Solomon the King’ published.


‘The Collected Works’ volume I published. ‘Oracles: the Biography of an Art’ published. ‘Orpheus: a Lyrical Legend’ [2 volumes] published. ‘Rodin in Rime’ published. ‘Clouds Without Water’ written. ‘Rosa Mundi’ published.
Tuesday 8th August: Crowley left Darjeeling and the Kanchenjunga Expedition begins, with Dr. Jules Jacot Guillarmod, Charles Adolphe Reymond, Alexis Pache and Alcesti C. Rigo de Righi.


‘The Collected Works’ volume II published. ‘Gargoyles: Being Strangely Wrought Images of Life and Death’ published.
Wednesday 14th February: Begins Augoeides invocations.
Tuesday 1st May: Death of Nuit Ma Ahathoor Hecate Sappho Jezebe Lilith Crowley of Typhus in Rangoon.
Tuesday 9th October: Crowley completes Augoeides in China after 34 weeks of daily invocations, thus he had completed the Sacred Magic of Abramelin. ‘The Wake World’ written 1906-7.


Birth of Lola Zaza Crowley at Paddington London. ‘The Collected Works’ volume III published. ‘Konx Om Pax: Essays in Light’ published. ‘The Star in the West’ (a critical analysis of Crowley’s collected poetry) by J F C Fuller published. Crowley’s Magical Order known as the A.A. [Argenteum Astrum: Silver Star] founded. ‘Tien Tao’ probably written. ‘The Stone of the Philosophers’ probably written.
Friday 22nd February: Crowley writes ‘The Synagogue of Satan’.
Thursday 21st March: Rents 4th floor rooms of 60 Jermyn Street.
April: ‘The Tell Tale Heart’ written.
Thursday 30th May: Takes oath of 8=3 but does not accept the grade until 1909.
Sunday 21st July: Writes ‘La Gitana’.
Saturday 19th October: Begins writing his novel ‘Ercildoune’ and finishes it on Wednesday 23rd October.
Tuesday 29th October: Crowley receives ‘Liber Liberi Vel Lapidis Lazuli’ around 11 pm and written in 2.5 hours: the first of the ‘Holy Books’ to be received.
Wednesday 30th October: Begins receiving ‘Liber Cordis Cincti Serpente’ in 5 chapters over four sessions.
Sunday 3rd November: ‘Liber Cordis Cincti Serpente’ completed.
Monday 25th November: Receives ‘Liber Stellaee Rubeae’.
Thursday 5th December: Receives segments of ‘Liber Arcanorum’.
Thursday 12th December: Receives ‘Liber Porta Lucis’.
Friday 13th December: Receives ‘Liber Tau Vel Kabbalae’.
Saturday 14th December: Receives ‘Liber Trigrammaton’.


‘Amphora’ published. It is re-issued in 1912 as ‘Hail Mary’. ‘The Drug’ written. ‘Cancer: a Study in Nerves’ written in Venice. ‘At the Fork of the Roads’ probably written. ‘The Dream Circean’ written in Paris. ‘The World’s Tragedy’ written in Paris.
February: Crowley writes the 5 books of ‘The World’s Tragedy’ in 5 days at Eastbourne.
July: ‘Mr Todd: a Morality’ written in Paris.
Thursday 1st October: Crowley is in Paris and he begins his 2 week Magical Retirement ‘John St John’.
Tuesday 13th October: End of the Magical Retirement in Paris.


Crowley accepts the grade of Adeptus Exemptus 7=4 taking the magical motto OU MH. ‘Thelema’ [3 volumes] published. ‘777 vel Prolegamina’ published.
March: The Equinox volume I number I is printed.
Friday 18th June: Victor Neuburg begins a ten day Magical Retirement at Boleskine, which will be his initiation as a Neophyte into the A.A.
Sunday 27th June: End of Neuburg’s Magical Retirement at Boleskine.
Monday 28th June: At Boleskine Crowley finds the original manuscript of Liber Al which was thought lost.
September: ‘Aha’ written.
Wednesday 22nd September: The Equinox volume I number 2 issued.
Thursday 18th November: Crowley arrives in Algiers, North Africa with Victor Neuburg and begins exploring the Aethyrs by performing the Enochian Calls of Dr. John Dee [Vision and the Voice].
Wednesday 24th November: Rose Divorces Crowley.
Friday 3rd December: Crowley accepts the grade of Magister Templi [Master of the Temple] 8=3 taking the magical motto Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici (‘By the force of truth, I while living, have conquered the universe’) [V.V.V.V.V.] during the skrying of the 14th Aethyr.
Monday 6th December: Crowley and Neuburg evoke Choronzon.


‘The Scented Garden of Abdullah the Satirist of Shiraz’ [Bagh-i-muattar] published. ‘The Violinist’ written. ‘Rosa Decidua’ published. ‘Ambergris’ published. ‘The World’s Tragedy’ published in Paris.
March: The Equinox volume I number 3 printed.
Monday 9th May: The Evocation of Bartzabel.
September: The Equinox volume I number 4 printed.
October/November: Performs The Rites of Eleusis [Liber DCCCL] at London’s Caxton Hall:
Wednesday 19th October: ‘The Rite of Saturn’.
Wednesday 26th October: ‘The Rite of Jupiter’.
Wednesday 2nd November: The Rite of Mars’.
Wednesday 9th November: ‘The Rite of Sol’.
Wednesday 16th November: ‘The Rite of Venus’.
Sunday 20th November: ‘The Rite of Luna’.


‘Across the Gulf’ written. ‘The Sevenfold Sacrament’ written. ‘The Woodcutter’ written. ‘His Secret Sin’ written. ‘The Ghouls’ written in Paris. ‘Adonis’ written in Paris. ‘Snowstorm: a Tragedy’ written in Eastbourne, probably during the spring. ‘Alexandra’ printed in Paris. ‘Elder Eel’ written in Paris. ‘Mortadello or The Angel of Venice: a Comedy’ written in Paris, probably in the summer. ‘The Blind Prophet: a Ballet’ written in Algeria and Marseilles. ‘The Scorpion: a Tragedy’ written in Algeria, probably in January. ‘His Majesty’s Fiddler: a Sketch’ written in Paris, probably during the summer.
March: The Equinox volume I number 5 printed.
May: ‘Household Gods: a Comedy’ written in Italy.
Thursday 10th August: ‘A Birthday’ (poem) written for Leila Waddell.
September: The Equinox volume I number 6 printed.
Wednesday 27th September: Rose Crowley enters an asylum suffering from alcoholic dementia.
Wednesday 11th October: Crowley meets Mary d’Este Sturges, a companion to Isadora Duncan.
Tuesday 21st November: Abuldiz communicates through Mary d’Est Sturges [Soror Virakam] concerning ‘Aba’ or Book 4. Thus begins the dialogue which continues until Tuesday 19th December known as the Abuldiz Working.


‘Book 4 (2 volumes) Part I: Mysticism’ published. ‘The Testament of Magdalen Blair’ written. ‘Mortadello’ published. ‘Energised Enthusiasm’ written. ‘The Winged Beetle’ published. ‘The High History of Good Sir Palamedes the Saracen Knight and of his following of the Questing Beast’ published.
March: The Equinox volume I number 7 printed.
Sunday 21st April: Theodore Reuss appoints Crowley National Grand Master General Xth Degree of O.T.O. for Great Britain and Ireland.
September: The Equinox volume I number 8 printed.


‘Book 4 (2 volumes) Part II: Magick – Preliminary Remarks’ published. ‘The Book of Lies’ [Liber CCCXXXIII] is written and published. ‘Atlantis’ written in Moscow. ‘The Ship: a Mystery Play’ [Liber DCCC] written in Moscow during the summer. ‘The Hymn to Pan’ written in Moscow during the summer. ‘Ecclesiae Gnosticae Catholicae Canon Missae [The Gnostic Mass] written in Moscow during the summer.
March: The Equinox volume I number 9 printed.
September: The Equinox volume I number 10 printed.
Wednesday 31st December: The Paris Working begins with Victor Neuburg [Frater Lampada Tradam].


‘Chicago May’ published. ‘Rex de Arte Regia’ [The King on the Royal Art] written record.
Tuesday 24th February: End of the Paris Working.
September/October: Writes ‘De Arte Magica’, ‘De Homunculo’, ‘De Natura Deorum’, ‘De Nuptiis Secretis Deorum cum Hominibus’.
Saturday 24th October: Crowley leaves for the United States.


Crowley is employed by Viereck and works as Editor of The Fatherland and The International. ‘The Giant’s Thumb’ published. ‘The Mysterious Malady’ written in New York. ‘The Saviour: a Drama in One Act’ written in New York during the summer.
Saturday 3rd July: Crowley was seen to tear up his passport at a gathering at the foot of the Statue of Liberty.
Tuesday 12th October: Crowley assumes the grade of Magus 9=2 taking the magical motto: To Mega Therion [The Great Beast].


‘The Bald Man’ written. ‘Black and Silver’ written in New Hampshire.
Monday 17th July: Crowley performed a ceremony at Evangeline Adams’ cottage on Lake Pasquaney, near Bristol, New Hampshire. [Liber LXX]. Grade of Magus attained.
Wednesday 23rd August: Crowley experienced the Star Sponge Vision.
August to September: 8 stories written [6 published in The International] under the title ‘Golden Twigs’.


‘A Message of the Master Therion’ published. Crowley’s mother Emily Bertha Crowley dies.


Spring: Amalantrah visions. Writes ‘Liber Aleph’. Writes ‘Tao Teh King’. Writes ‘Not the Life and Adventures of Sir Roger Bloxam’. ‘The Message of the Master Therion’ revised edition published. ‘Law of Liberty’ published. Meets Leah Hirsig [Alostrael].
August: A Magical Retirement: The Hermit of Oesopus Island in which Crowley had visions of his previous incarnations.
Thursday 5th September: the climax of the Magical Retirement: Samadhi – A Vision of Jupiter.


Friday 21st March: The ‘Blue’ Equinox volume III number 1 is printed. Crowley returns to England.


Friday 20th February: Birth of Crowley’s and Alostrael’s child Anne Lea (Poupee).
Thursday 1st April: Crowley arrives in Cefalu. The following day he finds a villa to rent which will become his Abbey of Thelema.
Thursday 22nd July: Crowley swore an oath of obedience to his Scarlet Woman Leah Hirsig: ‘she is to direct all action, taking the initiative throughout’.
Monday 26th July: Crowley consumed the Thelemic Host as prepared by Leah Hirsig.
Thursday 14th October: Death of Crowley’s child Anne Lea (Poupee) at Palermo.
Wednesday 20th October: Leah Hirsig miscarries a second child by Crowley.
Friday 26th November: Birth of Astarte Lulu Panthea to Ninette Shumway at Palermo.
Saturday 27th November: Crowley began the Cephaloedium Working.


‘The Vampire of Vespucia’ written. ‘As You Were’ written.
Monday 14th February: Crowley is at Au Cadran Bleu Inn in Fontainbleu and begins his diary entitled Liber Tzaba vel Nike – ‘The Fountain of Hyacinth’.
Monday 23rd May: Crowley assumes the grade of Ipsissimus 10=1.
July: The Seth Ceremony.
Sunday 17th July: Frank Bennett [Frater Progradior] arrives at the Abbey and stays for 4 months.


Writes and publishes ‘The Diary of a Drug Fiend’.
Sunday 26th November: Raoul Loveday and Betty May arrive at Cefalu.


‘Songs for Italy’ published.
Friday 16th February: Death of Raoul Loveday at Cefalu.
Saturday 17th February: Funeral of Raoul Loveday.
Sunday 22nd April: Norman Mudd arrives at Cefalu.
Monday 23rd April: The order of expulsion from Cefalu is read to Crowley.
Tuesday 1st May: Crowley expelled from Italy by Mussolini and leaves his beloved Abbey of Thelema for the last time.
Friday 11th May: Crowley arrives in Tunis.


September: Leah Hirsig renounced her office as Crowley the Beast’s ‘Scarlet Woman’ and Crowley appointed Dorothy Olsen [Sister Astrid] as the new S.W.


‘AL (Liber Legis) sub figures XXXI published.


‘An Extenuation of the Book of the Law’ [3 volumes, includes Liber XXVII and CCXX and the Comment] published.
October: Dorothy Olsen returns to the United States and abandons Crowley and her office as S.W.


Death of Astarte Lulu Panthea. Israle Regardie joins Crowley in Paris and becomes his secretary.


‘Moonchild’ published. Also ‘The Strategem and other stories’ published. ‘The Spirit of Solitude, subsequently re-antichristened The Confessions of Aleister Crowley’ (2 volumes) [Volumes 3-6 not issued] published.
Saturday 9th March: Crowley and Regardie are expelled from France.
Friday 12th April: ‘Magick in Theory and Practice’ (being part III of Book 4) is published in 4 volumes by the Lecram Press in Paris and issued in one volume in London.
Friday 16th August: Crowley marries Maria de Miramar, in Leipzig.


Tuesday 23rd September: Crowley fakes his own death at the Boca de Inferno, Portugal.


Wednesday 30th September: Bertha Busch becomes Crowley’s new Scarlet Woman.


Tuesday 13th September: Death of Leila Waddell. Regardie and Crowley part company on unfriendly terms.


Sunday 13th March: First performance of Crowley’s ‘Gnostic Mass’ at Agape Lodge O.T.O. California.


Tuesday 10th April: Crowley loses his libel case against Nina Hamnett for her accounts of him in her book ‘Laughing Torso’.


Pearl Brooksmith becomes the new Scarlet Woman.


Pearl Brooksmith abandons her office as S. W.


‘The Equinox of the Gods’ [The Equinox volume III number 3] published.
Sunday 2nd May: Birth of Crowley’s son Aleister Ataturk to Deirdre MacAlpine.


‘Little Essays Towards Truth’ written and published. Also ‘The Heart of the Master’ published by the OTO. ‘Liber Al vel Legis sub figura CCXX (includes Liber CCXX and the Comment) published.


‘Khing Kang King’ published. ‘Temperance, a Tract for the Times’ issued by the OTO. ‘Eight Lectures on Yoga’ [The Equinox volume III number 4] published.


Thursday 30th May: Death of Victor Neuburg.


‘Thumbs Up’ published.


‘The Fun of the Fair’ published. The death of Herbert Charles Jerome Pollitt.


‘The City of God: a Rhapsody’ published.


‘The Book of Thoth: A Short Essay on the Tarot of the Egyptians’ [The Equinox volume III number 5] published. Crowley retires to Netherwood in Hastings.


‘Olla: an Anthology of Sixty Years of Song’ published by the OTO.


Monday 1st December: Crowley dies at Netherwood, Hastings aged 72.
Friday 5th December: Crowley’s funeral service and cremation at Brighton cemetery.

By Victor Neuburg

Astarte, deal, delivery
To the Green World of Wonder;
Thou sickle of midwifery,
Cutting the chords asunder;
Thou Lady of the reverie
Hidden behind the thunder!

Astarte, bring the corn-fields
Fruition on Thy peace!
Astarte, glad the morn-fields
That starlight may increase!
Astarte, heat the torn-fields
Of flesh, that men release!

Astarte, may the grain drop
To glad the rutting ram!
Astarte, let the gain drop
From out the heavy dam!
Astarte, send thy rain-drop
That cools the new-born lamb!

Astarte, grant addition
Unto the waiting womb!
Astarte, deal derision
Unto the tedious tomb!
Astarte, find fruition
For every blushing bloom!

Astarte, thou wilt render
Rest to the restless woods;
Make bearing women slender;
Ungirdle virgin snoods;
Let tender lips engender
Life for new multitudes.

Before thee sway the swallows
Over the spring-set seas;
They seek the hidden hollows
About the lonely seas;
They know how summer follows
Thy silver mysteries.

Oh, path and pond and pricket
Oh, pod and pool and prickle.
Wait at the narrow wicket
Of life, be thou not fickle!
Grant crow and crake and cricket
Increase, as swells thy sickle!

Oh, where the ways are stony
Give life to snake and lizard;
Grant green fields to the coney,
Thy warlock and thy wizard
With lingam and with yoni
Burn liver, heart and gizzard.

Thy holy silver dishes,
Astarte, grace thy dome,
Thy little silver fishes
Sing in thine holy foam,
Grant thou earth’s virgin wishes!
Drive thou thy true seed home!

[from ‘Swift Wings: Songs of Sussex’ by Victor Neuburg. 1921]

by Audrarep
...The great sight
    Of the intolerable light
    Of the whole universe that wove
    The labyrinth of light and love,
    Blazed in me. Then some giant will,    
Mine or anothers’, thrust a thrill
    Through the great vision. All the light    
The world annihilated by    
The opening of the Master’s Eye.    
How can I tell it?
         [Aha. Aleister Crowley.]
Aleister Crowley’s accomplishment of the Operation of the Sacred Magic of Abra-melin the Mage [1] is an important event in his magical career which often gets overlooked. In examining Crowley’s diaries for the years 1905-06, the many such fragments which are contained in The Equinox, we can see that there are several significant factors which initiate Crowley’s interest once more into the performance of the Sacred Magic and the Invocation of Augoeides [2]. These events or ‘stages of initiation’ seemed to have determined the course of his actions. Firstly, there is the Vision of the Golden Hawk which Crowley experiences on Sunday 22nd October 1905. The vision occurred during an ‘astral interview’ with his old friend from the Golden Dawn, Soror Fidelis [3]. Crowley and Fidelis had been regularly meeting each other astrally at this time and on this occasion ‘she was accompanied by a golden hawk, in whom I later recognised one of the Secret Chiefs of the A∴A∴ The conversation turned on the subject of the Great Work. It was defined as the creation of a new universe. The interview left me spiritually prostrate.’ [Confessions. P. 452]
Secondly, there is a conversation which occurs in Calcutta between Crowley and an artist he befriended on a previous visit named Edward Thornton in the week following the vision of the Golden Hawk. Thornton is driving Crowley through Calcutta when Crowley tells him that ‘the analysis of impressions showed no connection between them. There was no coherence in the non-Ego, and so no sanity in the Universe.’ Thornton ‘pointed out that the same criticism applied with equal force to the Ego. This fell on Frater P. [Crowley] with the force of a thunderbolt. He had always known this in an intellectual way; now it stabbed him to the heart. Through the rest of the drive he sat silent, and in the bustle of the succeeding days of “Bandobast” for his newly projected walk through China [4], this awakening stood behind his mind, alert and operative.’ [‘The Temple of Solomon the King’ in The Equinox, volume I, number viii]
Thirdly, Crowley went to visit his other old friend from the Golden Dawn Frater I.A. [Allan Bennett] [5] who was living as a Buddhist monk in Burma. Crowley met Bennett on Friday 3rd November 1905 and Bennett, or as he was now known Bhikku Ananda Metteya, instructed Crowley in the Buddhist meditational practice known as ‘Sammasati’ in which the practitioner recollects and investigates the thoughts and actions that have occurred throughout the day [6]. These lessons would help Crowley ‘reach the great and terrible pinnacle of the mind whence the adept must plunge into the Abyss, to emerge naked, a babe – the Babe of the Abyss. “Explore the River of the Soul,” said Ananda Metteya, “whence and in what order you have come.” For three days – the longest period allowed by the Buddhist law – he remained in the choung, meditating on this matter; but nothing seems to have come of it.’ [Confessions. P. 515-516] The meditation shows the causal connection and continuity between events, if anything it helped to re-affirm Crowley’s belief in the intervention and purpose of arranging events by the Secret Chiefs.
Another significant factor occurred on Saturday 18th November, Crowley’s seventh magical birthday [7]. We find in The Temple of Solomon the King which draws upon his magical diary for that year that ‘about now I may count my Speculative Criticism of the Reason as not only proved and understood, but realized.’ The next day, Sunday 19th November he writes in his diary: ‘I realize in myself the perfect impossibility of reason; suffering great misery. I am as one who should have plumed himself for years upon the speed and strength of a favourite horse, only to find not only that its speed and strength were illusory, but that it was not a real horse at all, but a clothes-horse. There being no way – no conceivable way – out of this awful trouble gives that hideous despair which is only tolerable because in the past it has ever been the Darkness of the Threshold. But this is far worse than ever before; for it is not a despair of the Substance, but of the Form. I wish to go from A to B; and I am not only a cripple, but there is no such thing as space. I have to keep an appointment at midnight; and not only is my watch stopped, but there is no such thing as time. I wish to make a cannon; and not only have I no cue, but there is no such thing as causality. “This I explain to my wife” (!!! _ Ed.), “and she, apparently inspired, says “’Shoot it!”’ (I suppose she means the reason, but, of course, she did not understand a word of what I had been saying. I only told her for the sake of formulating my thought clearly in words.) I reply, “’If I only had a gun.”’ This makes me think of Siegfried and the Forging of the Sword. Can I heat my broken Meditation-Sword in the furnace of this despair? Is Discipline the Hammer? At present I am more like Mime than Siegfried; a gibbering ape-like creature, though without his cunning and his purpose. “’Only, no water’s left to feed its play.”’ “’Up with it on the tripod! It’s extinct.”’ But surely I am not a dead man at thirty!’ It appears that Crowley is suffering some sort of depression or ‘intellectual insanity’ from this date which lasts until the first week in February; it is the consequence of his crossing the Abyss, which occurred between November 1905 and February 1906. The destruction of his reason left only his intuition and high intelligence [Neschamah]. ‘I cannot say that I crossed the Abyss deliberately. I was hurled into it by the momentum of the forces which I had called up.’ [Confessions. P 513]
And finally, there is the revelation which occurred to Crowley on Sunday 11th February 1906. Again we find in the Temple of Solomon the King: ‘I “shoot the reason” [in reference to his entry for Sunday 19th November 1905] by going back, though on a higher plane, to Augoeides (i.e. the Holy Guardian Angel). Resolve to accomplish a Great Retirement on lines closely resembling Abra-melin. The “note book and stop-watch” method is too much like criticism. Doubt whether I should actually do Op. [operation] or confine myself to Augoeides. Latter easy to prepare, of course.’ And Crowley comes to the realisation through his practices in the Buddhist meditational method known as Sammasati, taught to him by Bennett, and he finds the most important factor in his calculations being the fall with his horse [8] and other manners in which he escaped death in miraculous circumstances [9]: “Then I am some use after all!” was his conclusion. “I am indeed SENT to do something.” For whom? For the Universe; no partial good could possibly satisfy his equation. “I am, then, the “’chosen Priest and Apostle of Infinite Space.”’ Very good: and what is the message? What shall I teach then?” And like the lightening from heaven fell upon him these words: “’THE KNOWLEDGE AND CONVERSATION OF THE HOLY GUARDIAN ANGEL.”’


In looking at Crowley’s diary for 1906 we find an entry for Friday 9th February which indicates a release from the ‘intellectual insanity’ he was suffering and he declares his intentions: ‘About this full moon consciousness began to break through Ruach [10] into Neschamah [11]. Intend to stick to Augoeides.’ Since his return from the Abyss the notion of Augoeides filled his thoughts! He was quite clear on what he must do, as it is an integral form of ceremonial magic: Visita Interiora Terrae, Rectificando Invenies Occultum Lapidem [visit the interior parts of the earth: by rectification thou shalt find the hidden stone].
On Sunday 11th February 1906 Crowley recorded in his diary: ‘Made many resolutions of a G.R. [Great Retirement]. In dream flew to me an angel, bearing an ankh, to comfort me.’ The angel held the ankh [crux ansata] as a symbol, for it is also known as a sandal strap which can be interpreted as the power to go. Crowley did not realise this at the time. The angel was informing Crowley that the Great Magical Retirement should be performed while travelling for it is unnecessary to rely on one’s material surroundings. Crowley was used to meditation practices in which his astral body could travel to a desired location. Now, he would bring the astral form of his temple at Boleskine to him and he could perform the ceremony while walking or riding on his pony. Instinctively Crowley had interpreted the dream. Two days later on Tuesday 13th February he is continuing his resolutions and reading the Bornless Ritual, the Preliminary Invocation in his vellum copy of The Goetia which he had with him.
On Thursday 15th February he is thinking about the Augoeides and ‘knowing the Invocation [the Bornless Ritual] by heart, will repeat same daily.’ The next day he begins the Augoiedes Ritual proper.


There is a description of the Bornless Ritual [Augoeides Ritual] given in The Equinox, volume I, number viii:
‘The preamble: he makes a general concentration of all his magical forces and a declaration of his will.
The Ar Thiao section [the barbarous names used in the ritual invocation of the element of Air]: He travels to the infinite East among the hosts of angels summoned by the words. A sort of ‘’Rising on the Planes’’, but in a horizontal direction.
The same remarks apply to the next three sections in the other quarters.
At the great invocation following he extends the Shivalingam to infinite height, each letter of each word representing an exaltation of it by geometrical progression. Having seen this satisfactorily, he prostrates himself in adoration.
When consciousness begins to return, he uses the final formula to raise that consciousness in the Shivalingam, springing to his feet at the moment of uniting himself with it, and lastly uttering that supreme song of the initiate beginning; ‘’I am He, the Bornless Spirit, having sight in the feet; strong and the Immortal Fire!’’
(Thus performed, the invocation means about half an hour of the most intense magical work imaginable – a minute of it would represent the equivalent of about twelve hours of Asana.)’

Thee I invoke, the Bornless one.
Thee that didst create the Earth and the Heavens:
Thee that didst create the Night and the Day.
Thee that didst create the Darkness and the Light.
Thou art Osorronophris: Whom no man has seen at any time.
Thou art Jäbas
Thou art Jäpôs:
Thou hast distinguished between the Just and the Unjust.
Thou didst make the Female and the Male.
Thou didst produce the Seed and the Fruit.
Thou didst form Men to love one another, and to hate one another.
I am Mosheh Thy Prophet, unto Whom Thou didst commit Thy Mysteries, the Ceremonies of Ishrael:
Thou didst produce the moist and the, dry, and that which nourisheth all created Life.
Hear Thou Me, for I am the Angel of Paphrô Osorronophris: this is Thy True Name, handed down to the Prophets of Ishrael.
Hear Me:-- Ar:
Thiao: Rheibet: Atheleberseth: A: Blatha: Abeu: Ebeu: Phi:
Thitasoe: Ib: Thiao.
Hear Me, and make all Spirits subject unto Me: so that every Spirit of the Firmament and of the Ether; upon the Earth and under the Earth: on dry Land and in the Water: of Whirling Air, and of rushing Fire: and every Spell and Scourge of God may be obedient unto Me.
I invoke Thee, the Terrible and Invisible God: Who dwellest in the Void Place of the Spirit:--
Arogogorobraô: Sothou:
Modoriô: Phalarthaô: Döö: Apé, The Bornless One:
Hear Me: etc.
Hear me:--
Roubriaô: Mariôdam: Balbnabaoth: Assalonai: Aphniaô: I: Thoteth: Abrasar: Aëöôü: Ischure, Mighty and Bornless One!
Hear me: etc.
I invoke thee:--
Ma: Barraiô: Jôêl: Kotha:
Athorêbalô: Abraoth:
Hear Me: etc.
Hear me!
Aôth: Abaôth: Basum: Isak:
Sabaoth: Iao:
This is the Lord of the Gods:
This is the Lord of the Universe:
This is He Whom the Winds fear.
This is He, Who having made Voice by His Commandment, is Lord of All Things; King, Ruler and Helper.
Hear Me, etc.
Hear Me:-- Ieou: Pûr: Iou: Pûr: Iaôt: Iaeô: Ioou: Abrasar: Sabriam: Do: Uu: Adonaie: Ede: Edu: Angelos ton Theon: Aniaia Lai: Gaia: Ape: Diathanna Thorun.
I am He! the Bornless Spirit! having sight in the feet: Strong, and the Immortal Fire!
I am He! the Truth!
I am He! Who hate that evil should be wrought in the, World!
I am He, that lighteneth and thundereth.
I am He, from Whom is the Shower of the Life of Earth:
I am He, Whose mouth ever flameth:
I am He, the Begetter and Manifester unto the Light:
I am He; the Grace of the World:
"The Heart Girt with a Serpent" is My Name!
Come Thou forth, and follow Me: and make all Spirits subject unto Me so that every Spirit of the Firmament, and of the Ether: upon the Earth and under the Earth: on dry Land, or in the Water: of whirling Air or of rushing Fire: and every Spell and Scourge of God, may be obedient unto Me!
Iao: Sabao:
Such are the Words
[The Lesser Key of Solomon. S.L.MacGregor Mathers and Aleister Crowley. 1904]
Over the next few days Crowley suffers from illness. On reaching Yunnanfu, on Tuesday 20th February, where the Crowley’s stay for ten days until Friday 2nd March, he is disturbed while performing Augoides in the morning; he performs it in the evening and from this date performs the invocation twice daily as we can see from The Temple of Solomon the King in The Equinox, volume I, number viii:
‘23rd Feb. A. [Augoeides] in a.m. poor. A. in p.m. rather good.
24th Feb. A. in a.m. pretty good. A in p.m. just on the point of being good.
25th Feb. A. in a.m. mediocre.’ He asks the question: ‘Are all these troubles in Yunnan-Fu [China] due to Abra-melin devils?’ He also asks Augoeides for ‘a sufficient measure of protection’, (Crowley was suffering from swollen throat glands and his mind was distracted by worrying over it and so he asks ‘Augoeides’ to take away his fear). ‘Like an instant answer comes Wilkinson’s letter settling up things.’ [Wilkinson was the Consul General at Yunnanfu]
‘The request was immediately granted. I was ill for several days, but able to continue my invocations.’ [Confessions. P. 518]
26th Feb. A. sleepy (Baby ill). (He had been watching the child for two days and nights without sleep.)
27th Feb. A. in a.m. rather good. A. in p.m. disturbed.
28th Feb. A. omitted in a.m. through forgetful folly. A. in p.m. penitent but sleepy.
1st March. A. penitent and fair. Good, but should do new Pentagram ritual before and after to make a Magick Circle.’
The Crowley’s reached Mengtz on Saturday 10th March where they stayed for three days. They arrived at the village of Manhao on Saturday 17th March and travelled up the Red River in a dug out to Hokow the next day. From Lao Kay on the 20th they took a train to Yen Bay and arrived at Hanoi on Tuesday 20th March.
On Thursday 22nd March Crowley, Rose and the child took a steamer to Hong Kong and arrived there on Thursday 29th March. The next day he records in his diary: ‘A. Good: very good. Be very careful, though Nature speak well and wisely, not to let it dominate A. This day was rendered blessed by the letter of El. Istar [Elaine Simpson – Soror Fidelis] to me, saying all, and saying it in the best way.’ At Hong Kong Crowley sent his wife and child back home to England saying he would not be welcome in Calcutta and that he was travelling to the United States to seek funding for his next attempt at Kanchengjunga. But his first intention was to pay a visit to Elaine in Shanghai!
He boards the SS. Nippon Maru on Tuesday 3rd April and the next day on board he records in his diary: ‘I foolishly and wickedly put off A. work all day: now it is 1 a.m. of the 5th. By foolishly I mean contrary to my interest and hope in A. By wicked I mean contrary to my will. I further allowed myself to talk and play cards: the latter I must do again to-morrow, for I won; as to the former, I pledge myself to speak only the necessary speech for courtesy. A. goodish: lengthy and reverie-like. Yet my heart is well. I spake it audibly.’ Later that day [Thursday 5th April] he is suffering from an attack of malaria.


Crowley arrived in Shanghai on Friday 6th April and went to call on Fidelis (Elaine Simpson). He notes that the ‘A. [Augoeides] Invocation’ was ‘very ethereal’ and that his meeting with Fidelis ‘went well’. He is still suffering the following day by the effects of fever and he calls again on Fidelis and talks with her, ‘explaining the position’ [he tells her about the Cairo Working during 1904 and Liber Legis, a copy of which he had in his possession]. Crowley had hoped that Fidelis would tell him that there was no truth in ‘Liber Legis’ and that the Cairo Working was a deception as Crowley did not want to be the chosen one who emancipates mankind, but she saw that it was indeed a sacred text and gave confirmation as to Crowley’s purpose as chosen Prophet of Thelema. That evening he is resting in bed quite ill. By the next morning he is still ‘feeble in the a.m.’ and he goes on to say that ‘A. nevertheless pretty good for concentration and sincerity; not notable for result. I think I had better begin to renounce idle things, save where politeness calls and calls loud. If I take life too easy, the G.R. [Great Retirement] will be harder: on the other hand an asceticism to no instant purpose may exhaust me for the struggle when it comes. One of those rare cases where a golden mean looks well.’ On Monday 9th April Crowley stays with Fidelis at her apartment where they both study Liber Legis and he remains there for twelve days until Saturday 21st April.
Crowley did a Tarot reading for Fidelis on Friday 13th April and he notes in his diary that the ‘Op. [operation] of Abramelin being due to commence on Easter Sunday, methinks it would be well to make a certain profound conjuration of A. [Augoeides] on that day with a view to acquiring a proper knowledge of the G. R. [Great Retirement]. The Augoeides should be definitely invoked for this purpose with all possible ceremony.’ Four days later on Tuesday 17th April we read ‘Aleister and El Ain [Elaine] Kiss’, and the following day he is studying Liber Legis when he asks Fidelis to invoke Aiwass, [12]. Fidelis is unwell the next day and unable to make the invocation so Crowley busies himself reading the Tarot for a ‘Mr Volker’. The Invocation of Aiwass takes place with Crowley in her temple on Friday 20th April, and Aiwass appears of ‘brilliant blue as when she saw him as guardian of my sleep. He has followed me ever, wishing me to follow his cult.’ Fidelis takes her wand and Aiwass grows ‘brilliant and breaks up into a formless light: yet she feels him as an enemy. He seems entangled in a mesh of light and to be trying to escape. I warn him that if he goes away he cannot return.’ Fidelis, with distrust, is hostile towards Aiwass and then Aiwass says: “Return to Egypt, with different surroundings (This misheard: he said same). There I will give thee signs. Go with the S. W. [13] this is essential: thus you shall get real power, that of God, the only one worth having. Illumination shall come by means of power, pari passu. Live in Egypt as you did before. Do not do a G. R. [Great Retirement] Go at once to Egypt; money troubles will be settled more easily than you think now. I will give you no guarantee of my truth.” Here he turned blue-black. “I am loath to part from you. Do not take Fidelis. I do not like the relations between you; break them off! If not, you must follow other Gods. Yet I would wish you to love physically, to make perfect the circle of your union. Fidelis will not do so, therefore, she is useless. If she did, she would become useful. You have erred in showing her the true relation between you on spiritual planes. Having burst that, she will remain by her sense of power over you. She is spiritually stronger than you. You should have dominated her by your superior strength on other planes. She will give you much trouble though eventually she may become a great aid. But your shorter path lies by Egypt and S. W. though she is not spiritually your equal. S. W. has become your enemy; but you have conquered, she is bound to aid you as you will. She has been your enemy and that of Fidelis but you returned her hatred, hence her seeming power over you in the present. (Qy. this hearing.) (Qy. was Fidelis hearing correctly) I will give you a sign when alone and away from present medium. You must recognise the sign by your own intuition. Do not part from S. W. Use her! (Here S. W. Appears with an evil look. She glitters, like a jewelled serpent.) Strange bands of light scintillate between her and Aiwass. Fidelis now takes wand again; still feels enmity on spiritual planes. Aiwass banished. S. W. has disappeared. Fidelis tries to speak to Aiwass. He wants Great Retirement, does not mind whether S. W. is with me or not, but I should use Brahmacharya [14] (? If with her, or anyhow), I shall be guided as things turn up, as to the truth or falsehood of Aiwass, who is not to be altogether distrusted. (I think the opposition is Aiwass’s limitation as a servant.) Aiwass will give us a sign: Fidelis’s freedom. (I reply that if this comes about in a miraculous manner, well and good.) Close.’
The next day and the final day of Crowley’s stay in Shanghai, he opens the temple with the Augoeides Invocation and asks for ‘special aid in what follows.’ He goes on to say that ‘Fidelis found the Nuit ring good: hence probably her hostility yesterday was due to lower self. Invocation of R.H.K. [Ra-Hoor-Khuit] gives glorious material flashes of light, akasic (i.e. ultra-violet) and lilac. The god, beheld, will not speak. Asked for a messenger, Aiwass appears. Fidelis, suspecting him, puts a pentagram on him; he blurs and becomes dirty and discrowned. Fidelis takes wand, but this dissipates him. His real name she says is ___________ (270=INRI). Fidelis uses pentagram and shrivels him to a black charred mass. I ask her to invoke something genuine; a white figure without a face and with little shape mounts throne. It has a glittering rayed corona. Says: “I am the God of Vengeance. I am thy Guardian Angel. I would have thee seek thine own soul in silence and alone. Take no aid with thee: take no mortal soul but retire away and depart from mankind.” Pentagram makes him brighter: he grows firmer. Repeated, form vanishes and only brightness remains. Asked for a sign or his name, __________ is written on throne. “I will give no other sign: you must learn to trust your own intuition.” Fidelis’s intuition tells her that he is genuine. As to our relations, he wishes us to work together (A contradiction very supra:) “I do not wish you to go too far in work with S. W. She will dazzle you and be apt to lead you astray. You must always remain as armed when you work with her, as a man in full armour. I would wish you to strengthen the link between you and Fidelis on all planes. You are very needful to each other, and can only accomplish Great Work together. (This clearly utter rubbish.) I take wand and curse him by Him whom he hath blasphemed. Invoking, however, Augoeides the light becomes more brilliant. Voice continues: “You must go and do a Great Retirement after which you shall get a sign” (Clearly due to Fidelis knowing my wish; but he is clumsy. Will anything now convince Fidelis? I was trying, as my custom is, to “bowl out” my clairvoyant.) I take serious measures to banish all but Augoeides. Voice silenced: and she doubts if voice is from brilliance. Fidelis feels me absolutely necessary for her. I not. (Voice is from her so cannot be banished and it goes on:) “There shall be short period of work? Not done in actual unison, after which your powers join irrevocably together. There is no escape from that; you are bound to work together, and the fitting time and hour for this shall come simultaneously to you both. There will then be no doubt in either of your minds: there will be no obstacle to this union... You must look towards this time and towards a beacon light. Never lose sight of that! You [Elaine] and O.M. [15] will meet with subtle temptation from this object – promises of great power and illumination; but heed them not. Aleister is your true helper from whom you have right to look and demand help. You must never cease to demand this aid, and by your demand strengthen and aid your comrade. I, your Guardian Angel, tell you this.” (The falsity of all this patent more at the time than now – I foresaw what follows.) I ask for proof that he is Guardian Angel – it is clear that Voice and Brilliance are distinct (i.e. from two separate sources). Fidelis however feels that this rigmarole is true. Hence we discuss our relations and the Great Invocation degenerates. We began to make love to each other. This, however, is checked by my will and he own feeling that we have done enough for honour. I am not exhausted after all this, as I was yesterday. Is this a proof that all is Right Magick, or that little force was expended? Where am I, in fact? O Holy Exalted One, do Thou illuminate my mind!’ Crowley was feeling sick on the following day, Sunday 22nd April, and he stayed in bed all day. Because of this he did not do his regular Augoeides Invocation but spent his time in deep contemplation: ‘It seems to me that all the Shanghai experience bar Easter Day should be rejected as a morbid dream; merely because I am not alone. It seems natural and easy that this should be. I think also I should write to Fidelis explaining how the whole experience has been an ordeal, that she has come through it successfully both in the advance and to and the suspense of that advance; but that the principle of clinging to me, unconsciously there has ruined her clairvoyance, and rotted up her magic. Having won me, let her now lose me! As for me I will go on as if I had never landed.’


At about 5 p.m. on Monday 23rd April Crowley arrived at Nagasaki and he wrote his letter to Fidelis. The next day, having sailed for 24 hours he arrived at the Japanese port of Kobe, also about 5 p.m. He wrote a letter to his wife Rose, the ‘Scarlet Woman’, taking particular care not to mention Fidelis or Aiwass. He asks himself if Aiwass could assist him with the Augoeides Invocation, and assumes that he could. Following his Augoeides Invocation Crowley ‘by a strong effort of will’ banished both his sore throat and his surroundings and he ‘went up in Astral Body [16].Reached a room, in which a table was spread cruciform thus, a naked man being nailed there to. Many venerable men sat around, feasting on his living flesh and quaffing his hot blood. There (I was told) were the adepts whom I might one day join. This I understood to mean that I should get the power of taking only spiritual nourishment – but probably it means much more than this. Next I came into an apparently empty hall, all being in white ivory, worked in filigree, as the Chinese do. A square slim altar was in the midst. I seemed to be questioned as to what I would sacrifice on that altar. I offered all save my will to know Augoeides, that I would only exchange for its own realisation. I now became conscious of vast God-forms of Egypt sitting, so vast I could only see their knees. “Would not knowledge of the Gods suffice.” No! said I. It was then pointed out that I was being critical i.e. rationalistic and made to see that Augoeides was not fashioned in my image. Necessarily, that is. I apologised, and knelt at altar, placing my hands on it, right over left. Then One human, white, self-shining (my idea after all) came forth and put his hands over mine, saying “I receive thee into the Order of the Silver Star” then, with advice to return, I sank back to earth in a cradle of flame.’ The next day on Wednesday 25th April he records in his diary: ‘Yesterday’s vision a real illumination, since it showed me an obvious mistake which yet I had utterly failed to see. The word in my Kamma-work [in Burma] was Augoeides and the method “invoking often!” Therefore a self-glittering One, whether my conscience approves or not, whether my desires fit or not, is to be my guide. I am to invoke often, not to criticise. Am I to lose my grade of 7°=4□? I cannot go wrong, for I am the Chosen One: that is the very postulate of the whole Work. This boat carries Caesar and his fortunes. Left Kobe at noon. Augoeides fair to good but attention wandered after Invocation. Suggestion of fasts to aid.’
Crowley arrives at Yokohama the next day and leaves the following day (Friday 27th April) where during his Invocation he felt a ‘certain clarity of vision of a White One like on 25th.’ Still in poor health he finds ‘great clarity of vision in the matter of the pentagrams’ on 28th April. The next day Crowley notices that often during his invocation, which is ‘mechanical’ his thoughts drift to reverie and even sleep. He receives an illumination the next day Monday 30th April, as he reaches Vancouver in British Columbia after spending twelve days on board the Empress of India. He records in his diary that his Augoeides invocation was the same as on the 29th: ‘It has struck me – in connection with reading Blake, that Aiwass etc. = Force and Fire, the very thing I do lack and that my “conscience” is really an obstacle and a delusion, being a survival of heredity or education. Certainly to rely on it as on an abiding principle in oneself is wrong. Further considerations in favour of Aiwass, seemed to indicate him. Any suspicious remarks of his perhaps due to Fidelis connecting him with S.W. [Rose]. I think his repeated “Go to Egypt!” The one really important thing is the fundamental hypothesis – I am the Chosen One. All methods will do, if I only “invoke often” i.e. stick to it. Ritual given by Aiwass – see “Work” book, also determined – house in Egypt, dates, etc. Augoeides Invocation repeated. Very good and lucid... No tendency to sleep or reverie, or hardly any, not more than a momentary wandering of thought.’
He declares on the following day (Tuesday 1st May) that the ‘Operation is a great test of faith and will, not at all of wit. Just what I have always lacked.’ And he goes on to confirm that the Hexagram attribution of yesterday vision was correct. ‘The descending triangle is the divine drawing down to man, the wedge of blue-splitting matter, the upright triangle is the human flame aspiring. (Compare the doctrine of the two arrows in Liber 418)’...’Nuit and Hadit are equal and opposite: the Two kinds of nothing. 0 vide Berashith. Hence Ra-Hoor-Khuit the resulting Universe’. He works on the comment to Liber Legis the next day and on Friday 4th May he notes in his diary that ‘this work of Augoeides requires the Adept to assume the woman’s part, to long for the bridegroom, it may be, and to be ever ready to receive his kiss, but not to pursue openly and to use as it were force.’
Crowley takes a train from Vancouver on Wednesday 9th May and reaches New York on Wednesday 16th May. He spends ten days in ‘restaurants and theatres’ trying to interest people to fund another attempt at Kangchenjunga without success. His business dealt with in New York he left the United States on the SS. Compania for England on Saturday 26th May.
Aleister Crowley in New York 1906


Crowley arrived at Liverpool on Saturday 2nd June 1906 and it would be a day of devastation to him: ‘Arrived Liverpool. Heard of baby’s death by letters from Mother and Uncle Tom [17]. Why did nobody cable me? Arrived London, perfectly stunned.’ Crowley travelled to London by train with some of the passengers he had befriended on the voyage from New York and he remained silent as to the death of his child, and tried to act as if nothing was wrong. Later that day Crowley ‘solemnly reaffirmed the Oath of my Obligation to perform the Operation offering under these terrible circumstances, all that yet remains. Fortunately I am quite unable to think of the thing in detail or as a reality.’ He adds a note to this on Monday 31st December when he probably reviewed or edited his diary, stating: ‘Not fortunately at all. One never gets able to do so. Stupor and pangs get to the limit and that limit is easy reached by very partial conceptions of one’s loss.’ Over the next few days Augoeides becomes a ‘sad mechanic exercise’. On Tuesday 5th June he ‘practically broke down playing billiards. Have drugged myself. A pretty good fight I think. Will go to sleep meditating Augoeides. Lucky Ivor was with me.’ [18] The next day he attends a performance of Wagner’s ‘Tristan and Isolde’ – ‘a failure, either Wagner is a shit or myself dulled beyond waking. I slept right through Overture – Act II!!!!!!! Did Augoeides, feebly in streets.’ The following day (Thursday 7th June) he travels from London to Plymouth in order to meet his wife Rose the next day from the SS. Himalaya. At their meeting the couple break down in their grief for the loss of little Nuit! Crowley has been suffering from various ailments and depression and on Saturday 9h June he notes that he is ‘still breaking down at intervals, and staggering from nervous weakness. Dropping off to sleep at odd times and places.’ He finds it difficult to concentrate on the work:
‘Sunday 10th June: Vain attempts, interrupted by invincible sleep, to do Augoeides Invocation.
Monday 11th June: Still frightfully ill – sleep and nightmares. Augoeides Invocation again conquered by these though I did my very utmost.
Tuesday 12th June: A shade better. Augoeides invocation in a turker not bad considering.
Wednesday 13th June: Augoeides, futile.
Thursday 14th June: Augoeides, a shade better.
Friday 15th June: Augoeides, and a further renewal of the vow.
Saturday 16th June: Went to sleep during Augoeides. Am still very ill with throat.
Sunday 17th June: Augoeides better. Throat better.
Monday 18th June: Augoeides mediocre.
Tuesday 19th June: Augoeides: I went to sleep, I fancy.
Wednesday 20th June: Augoeides, a shade better.
Thursday 21st June: Augoeides, poor again. There seems little intention perhaps owing to my fears about health and the general uncertainty.
Friday 22nd June: Augoeides, sleepy but a shade better.’
The next day, Saturday 23rd June 1906 Crowley’s friend and fellow member of the Golden Dawn, Frater Volo Noscere 7°=4□ arrives [19]. Crowley is elated to see his old friend who eight years earlier introduced him to the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn; a friend to whom he has attached a strong magical bond and an admiration second only to Allan Bennett. Together, they talk about Crowley’s experiences and the whole matter of the Augoeides situation. They talk all through the night with great energy and enthusiasm and the next day Crowley agrees with Jones’ suggestion to make a ‘Great Retirement’ somewhere in a near location so that he may be contacted by telegram should the need arise.
His next addition to his diary on Monday 25th June declares that he was ‘asleep all day, after the strain of Jones’ visit’ and he ‘went to sleep trying to do Augoeides.’ He suffers much from ill health during the days following Jones’ visit and the diary continues:
‘Wednesday 27th June: Still very bad – my head aches all over, and my throat.
Thursday 28th June: Still very bad.’ Crowley apparently continues his Augoeides Invocation but does not record any more entries in his diary until Wednesday 4th July when he notes that ‘doctors insist on immediate operation.’ This is in reference to an infected gland in his groin which needed excision. Crowley is near to breaking point yet we find this entry on Friday 6th July: ‘My throat and head still utterly bad – no work for these days – only the pretence of it. Before I had got to the end of the preamble I was almost delirious every time.’ He enters a nursing home on Sunday 8th July and in the diary we find: ‘Unto thee Adon-ai do I commit my way. Unto thee the Augoeides, unto thee the Self-Glittering One! I put my trust in the power that hath devised me as I am for the achieving of a purpose, the Next Step. Augoeides rather bad, but done. Being in bed has cured the eternal headache and the throat is much better.’ The next day Crowley had his surgery: Operation performed with little pain. My display of cowardice [20] may be partly excused by my general nervous break-down, I hope. Augoeides at night, a shade better, some slight vision.’ His throat is bad again over the next few days and Friday 13th July he notes that the ‘twenty-second week of Augoeides ends’ and that there should be a ‘new current’ beginning on 14th July [21]. And so the next day he avoids invoking Augoeides ‘who might instruct me in vision after 22 weeks. I am in serious trouble. Place, Method, Time etc. A wakeful night followed by profound and dreamless sleep. (I had spent much thought on Augoeides)’ as he does over the days ahead! ‘this thinking seems little or no good’ he writes in his diary for Tuesday 17th July, ‘but the fault is that the real Crowley is actually not thinking of Augoeides. When he is, the invocation was unnecessary; when he isn’t, it’s feeble. What am I to do? (should suggest sticking to it)’ Frater DDS (George Cecil Jones) ‘agrees Ritual is a help if so.’ –
‘Wednesday 18th July: The new method appears to be a mere dumb aspiration – a Prayer of Silence continued throughout the twenty-four hours.
Thursday 19th July: Worried all day, but aspired.
Friday 20th July: Stitches out. Aspiration to Augoeides very strong.
Saturday 21st July: some thought of Augoeides.’
The next day he writes the introduction to the Bahg-I-Muattar [The Scented Garden of Abdullah the Satirist of Shiraz] and he experiments with hashish: ‘I took some five grains, and smoked a little ganja. I was drinking a good deal of port, too. Anyway, I went dizzy, but got to bed and slept it off. Think I was on the brink of hallucination. I was describing effects (as in books) to my Nurse and offered her a fraction of a grain on a match, so that she could get the aromatic taste. My remarks were most vivid. At the expected time (supposing she had taken a quantity) she began to suffer all sorts of symptoms, alleged loss of memory and reason. Quick pulse (160) low temperature (97.8) dull heavy feeling following momentary excitement, pupils dilated (not contracted). She remarked on tasting it that she thought it was Belladonna. No thirst, no suspicion, no actual hallucinations, in short, all the wrong systems.’
Crowley leaves the nursing home on Wednesday 25th July and unfortunately caught a chill in his right eye which caused an obstruction of the nasal duct. There has been no end to the health problems he has suffered throughout his Augoeides operation, and further still is his painful neuralgia and later in the year an ulcerated throat. The next day (Thursday 26th July) Crowley travels down to Caulsdon, Surrey to stay with Greatly Honoured Frater DDS (G. C. Jones). An important ceremony took place the following day on Friday 27th July when Jones used a variation of the 5°=6□ Ritual in which Crowley was crucified upon a cross by Jones as Crowley was made to repeat his oath: ‘I, Perdurabo, [22] a member of the Corpus Christi [Body of Christ], do hereby solemnly obligate myself etc. etc. to lead a pure and unselfish life and will entirely devote myself to raise etc. myself to the Knowledge of my higher and Divine genius, that I shall be Him. In witness of which I Invoke the great Angel Hua to give me a proof of his existence. Complete and perfect visualisation of C as P (possibly Christ as Perdurabo) on “the low dark hill, the storm, the star”. But the Pylon of the Camel (the path of Gimel) open and a ray therein: withal a certain vision of Augoeides remembered only as a glory now attainable.’
The twenty-fifth week of Augoeides begins on Saturday 28th July and the next day he is talking with Jones about creating a new magical Order: ‘DDS (Jones) wants authority. I should write and say “perfect the lightening-conductor and the flash will come”.’ Crowley returns to London the next day and he contemplates the new formula (see Friday 27th July) with intentions to use it himself. He left London and went to Eastbourne on Friday 3rd August and makes the following entry on Saturday 4th July: ‘About to try the experiment of daily Aspiration in the Position of the 5°=6□ Operation (sign of Osiris slain). Did this twenty-two minutes, with Invocation. It needed DDS (Jones) but the Eli Eli feeling is perhaps induced and this is good. I made + on my B and also O on my Head (Crowley is here cutting the cross on his breast and the circle on his head). Scire. The vow of Poverty is to esteem nothing, to value nothing save Augoeides. Audere. The vow of Chastity is to use the Magical Force for no purpose but Invocation of Augoeides. Velle. The vow of Obedience is to concentrate the Will on Augoeides alone. Tacere. The vow of Silence, to regulate the whole organism so that so vast a miracle as the Completion of the Great Work excites therein no commotion. N.B. to look expectantly always, as if He would instantly appear.’


It was on Thursday 9th August that Crowley wrote the Invocation of the Ring [the ring being the symbolical Episcopal ring of amethyst which Crowley wore as an Exempt Adept. See ‘The Wake World’ in ‘Konx Om Pax’]:
ADONAI! Thou inmost Fire,   
Self-glittering image of my soul,
   Strong lover to thy Bride’s desire,   
Call me and claim me and control!
   I pray thee keep the holy tryst
   Within this ring of Amethyst.
For on mine eyes the golden Sun
   Hath dawned; my vigil slew the Night.
   I saw the image of the One:
I came from darkness into Light.
I pray thee keep the holy tryst
   Within this ring of Amethyst.
I.N.R.I. – me crucified,
   Me slain, interred, arisen, inspire!   
T.A.R.O. – me glorified,
   Anointed, fill with frenzied Fire!
I pray thee keep the holy tryst
   Within this ring of Amethyst.
I eat my flesh: I drink my blood:
   I gird my loins: I journey far:
   For Thou hast shown the Rose, the Rood,
   The Eye, the Sword, the Silver Star.
I pray thee keep the holy tryst
   Within this ring of Amethyst.
Prostrate I wait upon Thy will,
   Mine Angel, for this grace of union.
   O let this Sacrament distil
   Thy conversation and communion.
I pray thee keep the holy tryst
   Within this ring of Amethyst.
In practice the ring was to act as a magical instrument and the amethyst as a lens in which the Holy Guardian Angel would appear.
Crowley renews his vows on Friday 10th August, in the Position of Osiris slain (5°=6□), cutting the cross and the circle on his breast and head: ‘Twenty-eight minutes. Got the Threshold – the awful doubt whether one shouldn’t walk away and throw up the whole thing – presented first as a temptation, then as a doubt. Wherefore the cry “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani”. But go no further – save for a sense as of dew distilling from the Eye in the Triangle by the Ray.’
Tuesday 14th August: ‘Am still very much below par. Not that I feel bad, but I sleep absurdly after massage. “Armageddon”, the final conflict – mysticism and health.’
Crowley returned to Eastbourne on Saturday 18th August and he re-obligated his oath (in other words he cut the cross and circle upon his breast and head in the Position of Osiris slain, something he would do each week), although he was suffering greatly from ill health. The next re-obligation occurred on Saturday 25th August, still in bad health and again on Saturday 1st September. On the 8th the pain is ‘too great to record vows, even if I made any.’ Here, the diary is blank although Crowley states he did perform the practices even if he did not record them, and he next re-news his vows on Sunday 16th September and on the following day he checks into the Ashdown Park Hotel in Caulsdon, Surrey and the change seemed to help with his health. The end of thirty-two weeks of Augoeides occurs on Friday 21st September: ‘8 months – 224 days of Augoeides. Did a little Invocation, enquiring how to Invoke the Augoeides, got the instant reply “Often!” – and only saw later that this was the same old order as before. Which confirms it, discard methods, rituals etc. (and their contradictions) but do it Often!’
DDS (Jones) visited Crowley the next day and they celebrate the Autumnal Equinox. They discuss and begin working on a new version of the 0°=0□ Ritual of Initiation [23]. The new ritual was revised and ready by Sunday 30th September.


The new Ritual was tested on Tuesday 9th October and ‘behold it was very good! Thanked gods and sacrificed for Lola [24]. Hashish 10 p.m. acting – taken at 8. Many very strange illusions of sight, sense of proportion, locality, illusions of muscular distortion, the pen actually writing good legible English, but appearing to do so only as of two counterpoises. (Hours to write that sentence – and this). None of the illusions seriously interfere with small fine coordinated movements. I think of a word and forget it before I can write it down. This happens by lapses: a question of attention held and released.’ The next day, exalted, he continues: ‘I am still drunk with Samadhi [25] all day. Curious observations S.D. (Stooping Dragon) looks like a symbol. Curious feeling that one has a foreign body in one’s mouth. Enough, these are all dog-faced demons. I will see Adonai. But! (Must tell Jones he can never get the ________ because only the thing he can’t banish is the highest). S.D. is Augoeides. this from fancied personal resemblances. Fear of fascination by drug. Extraordinary fits of laughter. Every thought (each is a definite symbolic picture) is instantly followed by a criticism (also pictured). Sometimes the criticism is so severe that it becomes a primary thought – hence inattention. When a thought is weak or unbalanced, the current of thought is changed. Hence strong thoughts are wanted. Invocation, morning. Memory very good. Remember striking realisation of unreality of things in room etc. remember how very close to Samadhi the ritual brought me: perhaps even the control of the drug that arose and forced me to bed, plus my fear of the shock of R’s [Rose’s] anticipated coming up to bed, operated to stop me. For in the “Thanks-giving and sacrifice S.D.” I did get rid of everything but the Holy Exalted One, and must have held Him for a minute or two. I did. I am sure I did. I expected Rose to see a Halo round my head. But the hashish enthusiasm surged up against the ritual-enthusiasm, so hardly know which phenomena to attribute to which. Noticed at the time that S.D. made Augoeides enthusiasm possible, was good. Yet I would not pray for one more kiss having already had my deserts. The more I think of it the more I am sure that I got into Samadhi, (somehow) not like a human at all.’ [26]
It was also upon this day, Wednesday 10th October, that ‘the enemy struck home below the belt’, in other words, Crowley found out that his wife had become an alcoholic and that she was lost to him. He goes on to say in the Confessions that for over three weeks he ‘bore the stigmata of my operation physically. I visibly radiated light. People used to turn in the street to look at me; they did not know what it was, but the impression must have been irresistible.’ [P. 533]
The next day, Thursday 11th October there is a ‘curious persistent vision of blue and also white line below line of sight.’ And he is ‘still a bit nearer reality as regards time’ on Friday 12th October, Crowley’s 31st birthday. The sense of Samadhi lingers on over the next few days and there is a feeling that unreality is dominant over reality still.
Crowley goes to visit Jones at Mistley, Essex on Saturday 20th October and he tells Jones all about the experience and the discoveries of his Samadhi. Crowley has the feeling that ‘something were going to happen – just as I began to enflame myself in praying, a thing snapped in my brain, jarring it, as if a bowstring, ¼ drawn, slipped from the fingers. Sense of physical relief – a “clearing” of the brain – and also of occult discharge. I couldn’t get back and soon I slept.’
Sunday 4th November: ‘D.F.D’s [Dog-faced demons] all day. Fuller and Jones called’ [27] and Crowley is under an obsession, an obsession by a devil left by Fuller and Jones whereby he is having great doubts as to the worthiness of his attainment and to the whole existence of the magical path he is travelling. Crowley’s eighth magical birthday occurs on Sunday 18th November and he suffers more ill health which lingers on into December.
Frater DDS (Jones) writes to him on Friday 7th December having attained Samadhi himself and he remains in Samadhi the following day also. Crowley and Jones met on Monday 10th December and dined together. Jones says that Crowley’s attainment now makes him a Master of the Temple 8°=3□. Jones goes further and says that Crowley has become ‘the Master – the Logos – the next Buddha’. Crowley goes back to Bournemouth the next day (where he remains until Tuesday 29th January 1907) and receives a letter from Jones which asks: ‘How long have you been in the Great Order, and why did I not know? Is the invisibility of the A∴A∴ to lower grades so complete?’
We find one final interesting entry in his diary for 1906 which occurs on Thursday 27th December: ‘Back to town. Broke down myself. Appear to have got into the Fruit of which Jone’s “Hail! All Hail!” was the Blossom. In short, recognising that I am He in the same way that I recognise “snow is white” – not arguing it, nor announcing it triumphantly. I acted on that basis without self-consciousness, and wrote various letters. Later, viz, at 6.0 p.m. I took a very small dose of Hashish – say 1½ - 2 gr. on a by no means empty stomach. The introspection seems awakened at once, owing, maybe to expectation. Use all means to invoke Augoeides (possibly even masturbation – if such an act is physically possible? – as a means). 7.0-8.15. there is no link to bid together the thoughts? (of the second order) since they are only like letters of words not (apparently) interconnected. (Usual phenomena) With practice this game could be made useful? (e.g. to work out a psychological system). Each battery goes through a whole battery of critics; it is “analysed” (in time, I was thinking of Well’s analysed sounds in the New Accelerator). Also there seems several main individuals or strata of thought (delusion of triple personality etc.) They have, (or may have) different time-rates. (One sees as it were an officer running forward to reform a shake set of thoughts, or to order new evolutions). 8.15. I went to bed about now and tried hard to masturbate, without success. The first time I failed from fear; the second time I know not why; the third time I was under the delusion that I had come. The “millions of world’s game” – the peacock multiform with each “eye” of its fan a mirror of glory where also another peacock – everything thus. (Here consciousness has no longer any knowledge of normal impression. Each thought is itself visualised as a World-Peacock – such seems to me the interpretation of above). 1.20. A.M. Head still buzzing, wrote above. Samadhi is Hashish, an ye will; but Hashish is not Samadhi (it’s a low form this Atmadashana) [28] (I don’t and didn’t quite understand this. I think it means that only an Adept can use Hashish to excite Samadhi; or else that Hashish is the evil and averse S.) The Introspection Phenomena. This is like the letter A in the word or idea “cat”. The Picture-Ideas converging to form a 2a” and so on. This disconnected second rank are very numerous. There are many ranks of thought (are these the Sephiroth?) The consciousness moves backwards and forwards, outwards and inwards. Each rank is of course observed by the one next to it inwards, or else by the Analyser. There’s an “Intelligence” (among the Hierarchies of me) who suddenly draws lines round groups of second rank ideas and labels them “candle” etc. front rank men, getting them off as a whole. (Just as I might make an A of dots, scratches etc. and when finished fling it forth a visible “A”). Others too have other functions – there’s a whole crowd of us all organised. What puzzles is the vast number of thoughts required to make one physical thought. Bound to believe in simplicity behind. Why? Mathematical truths are absurd, they belong to the unanalysed brain, for one thing, and for another, they represent relations between units of that row – no more. Thus the Universal Peacock is One. (I prefer a different view. The [...] thoughts not nearer but further than the physical, not radiating from the Ego, but converging upon it. This is an argument against Hashish, and does not suggest that further progress would bring one to a higher rank. The various individuals are on this view rather than arch-demons.) A good deal this on introspection. Oh for a memory – in flesh to tell people about this; in spirit to bid together and organise the analysed thoughts, so that one’s consciousness should normally observe the second rank crowd. This is (would be) constant ecstasy, but the actions of the man (would) go on as usual, and it is only a certain instinct in one’s hearer if they perceive that one is not oneself. This time no sickness – slight physical drunkenness – very slight. Must try in presence of Jones and fuller with Jewell concealed to take notes. The earlier very rapid things all escape record. It is 1.40 A.M. I am practically sober. 8.30 A.M. Introspection still quickened. 9.45 A.M. One has only to think hard to get back to the World of Thought. N.B. The dose was a shade too large – not much. There was no sense of being overpowered. Began formula. It was an awful pang to reply “The Flapper” to “Who is Lola?” and really very difficult to do it without using a tone of voice of a lying nature. Got a sort of vision of the Gate of 10=1. Self as a mage in his circle breaking it down and the universe rushing in – all the lions and dragons symbols and vanishing as they came.’
It is difficult to comprehend the extraordinary events during this period of Crowley’s life where he suffered both mental and physical tortures. Crowley blamed much of the misfortune from the death of his child to his constant ill health on those Abramelin demons who were drawn to the magician by his intention to perform the Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mage. He had dedicated himself to its completion and throughout the previous interruptions during 1900 and 1903, he considered it his sole duty to perform the Sacred Magic and in 1906 he successfully completed this. Although Crowley had passed through the Abyss and was rightfully a Master of the Temple he refused to accept the grade for another three years, in 1909.
1. The Sacred Magic of Abra-melin the Mage: Crowley first attempted the operation at Boleskine House in Scotland during 1900 but was interrupted by the rebellious schism in the Golden Dawn. His second attempt (also at Boleskine) during 1903 was interrupted to marry Rose Edith Kelly.
2. Augoeides: αυγοειδης, from αυγος, the morning light, the dawn. Crowley knew the word ‘augoeides’ from Περι Μυστηριωυ, De Mysteriis, of Iamblichus, the Syrian Neoplatonist who was the greatest of the anti-Christian philosophers. Augoeides is a term for the H.G.A. [Holy Guardian Angel].
3. Soror Fidelis: Elaine Simpson, born 1875. She joined the Golden Dawn on 18th January 1897.
4. China: Following the attack upon Crowley in Calcutta on Saturday 28th October 1905 (see note 9) he met his wife Rose and daughter Nuit Ma Ahathoor Hecate Sappho Jezebel Lilith from the ship (Sunday 29th October) and he greeted her with the words: ‘You’re just in time to see me hanged!’ The next day, eager to get away quickly, Crowley asked Rose whether she would like to go to Persia or China – Rose decided they should travel to China. They reached Rangoon on Friday 3rd November. Rose and little Nuit stayed in a hotel while Crowley visited his great friend and magical mentor Allan Bennett. The Crowley’s left Rangoon on Wednesday 15th November on the steamship ‘Java’. They arrived at Mandalay on Tuesday 21st November and at Bhamo on Friday 1st December. On Friday 26th January 1906, the day after Chinese New Year, they crossed the Mekong River. On Wednesday 14th March they left Mengtsz for Manhao on the Red River, reaching Hokow on 18th and travelling to Hong Kong on Thursday 22nd March. It was here that the ‘walk’ across China ended. Sometime after 27th March Rose and the child made their own way back to England from Hong Kong while Crowley travelled a different route via Shanghai, Kobe (Japan) and British Columbia to New York.
5. Allan Bennet: Charles Henry Allan Bennett (1872-1923) Frater Iehi Aour (Let there be light). Bennet joined the Golden Dawn in February 1894. He left England in 1900 and became a Buddhist monk.
6. See Liber Thisharb (1911). Also called ‘Liber Viae Memoriae’ [Path of Memory], Liber Thisharb is a ‘method for attaining the magical memory, or memory of past lives’. See ‘Magick in Theory and Practice. Thisharb is also ‘Berashith’ [‘in the beginning’] written backwards, which suggests the key to remember in reverse and to arrive at the beginning, the source of all.
7. Crowley was initiated into the Golden Dawn on 18th November 1898.
8. Fall with horse: on Wednesday 20th December 1905 Crowley was mounting his horse when the animal reared and fell with Crowley down a 40 foot cliff. Both survived the fall with little injury.
9. Escape death: Crowley is here referring to the incident which occurred on Saturday 28th October 1905, sixteen days after his 30th birthday, when following the disastrous attempt to climb Kangchenjunga Crowley found himself in Calcutta. On this particular night, he decided to leave his hotel and walk to a part of the district known as the Culinga Bazar. It so happened that this night was also a Bengali feast called the Durga Puja. And so, heading down a side street Crowley noticed he was being followed. Then suddenly he was jumped upon by thieves and in the struggle Crowley managed to fire his pistol into the darkness. Two of the attackers were shot.
10. Ruach: the reasoning faculty.
11. Neschamah: the higher intelligence, intuition being one of its aspects.
12. Aiwass: Aiwass is the intelligence who communicated Liber Al vel Legis [The Book of the Law] to Crowley in 1904. Crowley was not told by Aiwass the correct spelling of his name. In Greek it is Aiwass and by the Greek Cabbala its numerical value is 418, which is the number of the Great Work. In Hebrew it is spelt Aiwaz which adds up to 93, the key number of the Book of the Law. Depending on the nature of the work Crowley was conducting the two spellings could be used, such as Aiwass for mystical work and Aiwaz for magical. See ‘Liber Al vel Legis’ and ‘The Equinox of the Gods’.
13. S. W.: The Scarlet Woman [Oaurda]. This was Crowley’s wife Rose Edith Crowley [nee Kelly] (1874-1932) who initiated the Cairo Working in 1904. She later married Joseph Andrew Gormley.
14. Brahmacharya: In this context it means physical chastity.
15. O.M.: OΥ ΜΗ – Crowley’s magical motto as an Adeptus Exemptus
16. Astral Body: see Magick in Theory and Practice.
17. Mother and Uncle Tom: Crowley’s mother was Emily Bertha Crowley (nee Bishop) (1848-1917). She married Edward Crowley (1830-1887) in 1874. Crowley’s Uncle Tom is Emily’s brother, Tom Bond Bishop (1839-1920).
18. Ivor: Dr Ivor Gordon Back (1879-1951) of Trinity College, Cambridge (1898-1901). Surgeon.
19. Volo Noscere 7°=4□: Also Frater DDS, Exempt Adept and Chemist George Cecil Jones (1873-1960).
20. ‘Display of cowardice’: Crowley asked for a drink of water during surgery on Monday 9th July 1906 which was performed under local anaesthetic. He had made up his mind to remain silent during the operation and not speak (‘unless to make a joke’). The doctors originally thought Crowley may have been suffering from cancer but it is more probable that the infection in his groin was caused by the fall with his horse (see note 8).
21. ‘New current’: The number 22 represents the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet and of course corresponds with the Tarot.
22. Perdurabo [Latin]: Frater Perdurabo – the magical name Crowley chose for himself as an initiate of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. Its literal meaning is: I will endure unto the end.
23. 0°=0□ Ritual: see Liber 671 ‘Pyramidos’.
24. Lola: Vera Blanche Neville Snepp (1888-1953). Vera was an actress who acted under the name of Vera Neville and she became one of Crowley’s many mistresses. The daughter of Alfred Neville Snepp (1857-1935) and Laura Kate Snepp [nee Browne] (1861-1941), Vera married Henry Algernon Claud Graves (1877-1963), the 7th Lord Graves, Baron of Gravesend in 1909. They were divorced in 1922.
25. Samadhi: Union with the Lord. See Magick in Theory and Practice.
26. This vision signifies the successful completion of the Sacred Magick of Abramelin the Mage and Crowley is here coming to the realisation that the one person he loves most in the world, his wife Rose, is now lost to him for she has become a hopeless alcoholic.
27. Fuller and Jones: Major-General John Frederick Charles Fuller (1878-1966), frater Per Ardua Ad Astra, and Frater Non Sine Fulmina. He was the son of the Anglican cleric Rev. Alfred Fuller (1832-1927). In 1897 J. F. C. Fuller went to the Royal Military College at Sandhurst and he joined the 43rd Infantry. In 1905 he wrote the critical essay on Crowley’s poems ‘The Star in the West (1907) and assisted Crowley on his periodical ‘The Equinox’, writing the account of Crowley’s magical career serialised in ‘The Temple of Solomon the King’. Jones is of course George Cecil Jones (1873-1960).
28. Atmadashana: The realisation of the self [Atma]. It is the first real trance stage of Samadhi. The highest of the Hindu trance states is Shivadarshana [the vision of Shiva] in which the objective universe, a single phenomenon independent of space and time is annihilated; it destroys all previous states of trance and totally dissolves name and form. The Shivadarshana has three main points in its Atmadarshana stage: 1. The Universal Peacock. 2. The Universe as Ego – the universe becomes a single, simple being, without quantity, quality or conditions. 3. The transcendence by an impersonal Unity; the annihilation by the Opening of the Eye of Shiva.  
Fear not this Holy Art that doth see
The expanse of realms, ruined in me;
The burden of years, so loosely grown
Upon he of suffering and renown!
Where sorrow seeks its scented kiss:
Ne sit culpa nates nobis futuisse viriles!
For I am my own circle, my own element:
Avail, fiend of flesh, fair by content,
Singing of sweetness and old ways... yet see:
I was atoms away from change, for thee!
But my mind's revolt: I am amiss,
Amidst blooms of scorched kisses and tenderness!
Still, the caress of childhood, here doth stand
With the ache of years... mine courage, command
These tired, blood-red lips, so numb:
Det semen flammam vitalem vinumque deorum!
And were I to see thee now, above all this,
(My pale limbs cooled in thy nakedness)
With the softness of thine voice, I adore:
Exaudi penis carmina blanda, precor.
And thy lips of fire, that swiftly told
The love-words thou hast known of old...
I give all and I rejoice in this:
Intra dum nates agitate thyrsum pueriles vates!
Barry Van-Asten


Even as beasts, where the sepulchral ocean
Sobs, and their fins and feet keep Runic pace,
Treading in water mysteries of motion,
Witch-dances: where the ghastly carapace
Of the blind sky hangs on the monstrous verge:
Even as serpents, wallowing in the slime;
So my thoughts raise misshapen heads, and urge
Horrible visions of decaying Time.
For in the fiery dusk arise distorted
Grey shapes in moonless phosphorus glow of death;
The keen light of the eyes thrust back and thwarted,
The quick scent stabbed by the miasma breath.
The day is over, when the lizard darted,
A flash of green, the emerald outclassed;
Night is collapsed upon the vale: departed
All but the Close, suggestive of the Vast.
The heavy tropic scent-inspiring gloom
Clothes the wide air, the circumambient aether.
The earth grins open, as it were a tomb,
And struggling earthquakes gnash their teeth beneath her.
The night is monstrous: in the flickering fire
Strange faces gibber as the brands burn low;
Old shapes of hate, young phantoms of desire
More hateful yet, shatter and change and grow.
There is a sense of terror in the air,
And dreadful stories catch my breath and bind me,
Soft noises as of breathing: unaware
What devils or what ghosts may lurk behind me!
Even my horse is troubled: vain it is
Invoking memory for sweet sound of youth;
The song, the day, the cup, the shot, the kiss!
This night begets illusion – ay! the truth.
I know the deep emotion of that birth,
When chaos rolled in terror and in thunder;
The abortion of the infancy of earth;
The monsters moving in a world of wonder;
The Shapeless, racked with agony, that grew
Into these phantom forms that change and shatter;
The falling of the first toad-spotted dew;
The first lewd heaving ecstasy of matter.
I see al Nature claw and tear and bite,
All hateful love and hideous: and the brood
Misshapen, misbegotten out of spite;
Lust after death; love in decrepitude.
Thus till the monster-birth of serpent-man
Linked in corruption with the serpent-woman,
Slavering in lust and pain – creation’s ban.
The horrible beginning of the human.
The savage monkey leaping on his mate;
The upright posture for sure murder taken;
The gibbering modified to spit out hate:
Struggle to manhood – surely God-forsaken.
The bestial cause of Morals – fear and hate.
At last the anguish-vomit of despair,
The growth of reason – and its pangs abate
No whit: the knife replaces the arm bare.
Fear grows, and torment; and distracted pain
Must from sheer agony some respite find;
When some half-maddened miserable brain
Projects a God in his detesting mind.
A God who made him – to the core all evil,
In his own image – and a God of Terror;
A vast foul nightmare, an impending devil;
Compact of darkness, infamy, and error.
Some bestial woman, beaten by her mates,
In utter fear broke down the bar of reason;
Shrieked, crawled to die; delirium abates
By some good chance her terror in its season.
Her ravings picture the cessation of
Such life as she had known: her mind conceives
A God of Mercy, Happiness, and Love;
Reverses life and fact: and so believes.
So man grew up; and so religion grew.
Now in the aeons shall not truth dissever
The man and maker, smite the old lie through,
Cast God to black oblivion for ever?
Picture no longer in fallacious thought
A doer for each deed! the real lurks
Nowhere thus hidden: there is truly nought
Substantial in these unsubstantial works.
But work thou ever! Thou who art or art not,
Work that the fever of thy life abate;
Work! though for weary ages thou depart not,
At last abideth the sequestered state.
Sure is the search! O seeker, as the bird,
Homing through distant skies toward its rest,
Shall surely find – and thou shalt speak the word
At last that shall dissolve thee into rest.

[From ‘The Temple of the Holy Ghost’. 1901.
The Collected Works of Aleister Crowley. Vol I]

*When Crowley was benighted on the way from Iguala to Mexico City, whither he was riding unattended.

Sub figura CCXX
As delivered by XCIII = 418 to DCLXVI
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Love is the law, love under will.
Chapter II

1. Nu! the hiding of Hadit.

Nuit conceals Hadit; Nuit is the infinite in which Hadit manifests. Also, note that the first verse contains five words, five being the pentagram, which is the symbol of Hadit.

2. Come! all ye, and learn the secret that hath not yet been revealed. I, Hadit, am the complement of Nu, my bride. I am not extended, and Khabs is the name of my House.

Khabs= star, which is the House of Hadit.

3. In the sphere I am everywhere the centre, as she, the circumference, is nowhere found.

Viewed from the circumference the centre of the circle is constant and is a concentrated point while the circumference is an expansion or central point stretched to its limit and therefore less defined. The central light of the circle radiates outwards in diminishing rays of light.

4. Yet she shall be known & I never.

Hadit has the ability to ‘know’ but cannot be ‘known’. Nuit is ‘known’ and Hadit (the complement of Nu) is hidden within her sensual veils where He ‘knows’ Her yet remains ‘unknown’ for it is His nature to ‘never’ be known.

5. Behold! the rituals of the old time are black. Let the evil ones be cast away; let the good ones be purged by the prophet! Then shall this Knowledge go aright.

The ‘old time’ refers to the previous aeon, that of Osiris in which ‘self sacrifice’ and suffering was the order of the day and deities were worshipped as ‘the dying god’. The word ‘Knowledge’ with its capital letter seems to imply another meaning. Also, note that the verse contains 31 words.

6. I am the flame that burns in every heart of man, and in the core of every star. I am Life, and the giver of Life, yet therefore is the knowledge of me the knowledge of death.

This ‘knowledge of death’ may be an allusion to the act of ‘crossing the abyss’.

7. I am the Magician and the Exorcist. I am the axle of the wheel, and the cube in the circle. "Come unto me" is a foolish word: for it is I that go.

Hadit symbolizes motion and change and therefore his nature is to ‘go’. The Ankh, the Egyptian symbol of life in appearance is a sandal strap, which is another symbol of the power to go. Hadit is the ‘axle of the wheel’, which turns, and Nuit ‘is the wheel’, She is the circle. The cube has six sides and six is a solar number. The function of a god is ‘to go’ and to go= HVK (5+6+20) = 31.

8. Who worshipped Heru-pa-kraath have worshipped me; ill, for I am the worshipper.

Hadit is stating through Aiwass that he is not to be worshipped and that it is Nuit who is the Goddess of devotion; Hadit is the motion, or act of the ‘worshipper’ which is what the adept is to become in order to worship Nuit.

9. Remember all ye that existence is pure joy; that all the sorrows are but as shadows; they pass & are done; but there is that which remains.

These shadows are those who have failed to understand their true wills and thus have not found the pure joy of existence. They are unrecognized by Hadit.

10. O prophet! thou hast ill will to learn this writing.

Crowley found much of the ‘language’ of the Book of the Law distasteful to him.

11. I see thee hate the hand & the pen; but I am stronger.

A reference to Crowley’s annoyance at being used as the vessel for the law of Thelema: The Book of the Law.

12. Because of me in Thee which thou knewest not.

The ‘voice’ of Aiwass (as Hadit) in reference to Aiwass being Crowley’s Holy Guardian Angel.

13. for why? Because thou wast the knower, and me.

14. Now let there be a veiling of this shrine: now let the light devour men and eat them up with blindness!

15. For I am perfect, being Not; and my number is nine by the fools; but with the just I am eight, and one in eight: Which is vital, for I am none indeed. The Empress and the King are not of me; for there is a further secret.

‘Nine by the fools’ has a double meaning: Teth=9 (XI in the Tarot) and the sephira Yesod=9 and its grade is zelator. Cheth=8, Aleph=1(one and eight in the Tarot). Not=31. IX in the Tarot is the Hermit, which is Virgo, Yod and Mercury and VIII in the Tarot is Justice, which is Libra, Maat, Lamed and ‘one’ in eight = Aleph, ‘which is vital, for I am none indeed’ = None (or Nvne)= 50+6+50+5=111. ‘The Empress’ (Daleth) = III and ‘The King’ (He)=IV ‘are not of me’. III+IV=VII.

16. I am The Empress & the Hierophant. Thus eleven, as my bride is eleven.

The Empress = III in the Tarot and the Hierophant = V. III+V=VIII (8).

17. Hear me, ye people of sighing!
The sorrows of pain and regret
Are left to the dead and the dying,
The folk that not know me as yet.

The poem suggests that those who seek the light of Thelema are uplifted in strength and beauty. The old aeon ruled by the worship of the ‘dying god’ was an aeon of weakness and suffering, pain and regret. Those who become Thelemites embrace life with positive energy and stand apart from those who are blind, weak, and dead, in other words those who have not adjusted to the new aeon and accepted the Law of Thelema – the Light of Love and Liberty!

18. These are dead, these fellows; they feel not. We are not for the poor and sad: the lords of the earth are our kinsfolk.

Self-pity, misery, and all forms of sorrow are anathema to Thelema, and so is compassion, which is to pity a fellow star and insult him or her.

19. Is a God to live in a dog? No! but the highest are of us. They shall rejoice, our chosen: who sorroweth is not of us.

The words ‘god’ and ‘dog’ both give the numeration 77 (3+70+4) or 13 (3+6+4). 77 = the Devil/goat; 13 = Death/Saturn. No=NV=56. Perhaps the god/dog formula represents a reversal of attitude to worshipping and we are urged to ‘be god from within’.

20. Beauty and strength, leaping laughter and delicious languor, force and fire, are of us.

These are the qualities of Hadit; qualities that are desirable to possess. Beauty represents Tiphereth. Strength= Yesod. Leaping laughter= Hod. Delicious languor= Netzach. Force= XI in the Tarot and Fire = XVI in the Tarot.

21. We have nothing with the outcast and the unfit: let them die in their misery. For they feel not. Compassion is the vice of kings: stamp down the wretched & the weak: this is the law of the strong: this is our law and the joy of the world. Think not, o king, upon that lie: That Thou Must Die: verily thou shalt not die, but live. Now let it be understood: If the body of the King dissolve, he shall remain in pure ecstasy for ever. Nuit! Hadit! Ra-Hoor-Khuit! The Sun, Strength & Sight, Light; these are for the servants of the Star & the Snake.

Outcasts are those who have become black brothers and unfit seems to indicate those who are not accepted or the uninitiated. The word ‘unfit’ also has another meaning for it has five letters and contains the name of ‘Nuit’ (Nu reversed to form ‘un’ and a central solar ‘vau’. Looking further into this we get 6+50+6+10+9=81, a perfect square. Taking ‘T’ as final, which is 400, we get 472 [4+7+2=13]. Continuing this line of examination, by dividing the word into ‘UN’ ‘F’ ‘IT’, that is using ‘F’ (vau) as the principle factor 6 we find 56 + 6 + 19=81 (a lunar number). Other equations include 56-6-19=31.

56x6-19=317 [3+1+7=11]. Now by taking the first half of the equation alone= 56+6=62 (Healing). 56-6=50 (The number of the gates of Binah, also, letter nun, and therefore Death in the Tarot). 56x6=336 [336-3=333 Choronzon]. But most interestingly: 56 divided by 6= 9.3333333 [93=Thelema, Agape etc and 333 (Choronzon) or 333+333=666].

By the second half of the equation, we find 19+6=25 (5x5, the pentagram in action and the pentagram is the symbol of Hadit). 19-6=13 (AChAD, AHBH). 19x6=114 (DMO a tear and the age of Christian Rosencreutz. Also 114-3+111), but like before, the most interesting appears with division: 19 divided by 6= 3.1666667 [31 LA & AL etc and 666 is the Beast ThRION and 667 is the Scarlet Woman by Greek gematria].

22. I am the Snake that giveth Knowledge & Delight and bright glory, and stir the hearts of men with drunkenness. To worship me take wine and strange drugs whereof I will tell my prophet, & be drunk thereof! They shall not harm ye at all. It is a lie, this folly against self. The exposure of innocence is a lie. Be strong, o man! lust, enjoy all things of sense and rapture: fear not that any God shall deny thee for this.

There is no sin but restriction – by the strength of the individual will all things that give joy and pleasure are to be indulged as long as the initiate remains the master of all.

23. I am alone: there is no God where I am.

GOD=3+70+4=77 (OZ) [7x11]. Also 3+6+4=13 (taking ‘O’ as vau).

24. Behold! these be grave mysteries; for there are also of my friends who be hermits. Now think not to find them in the forest or on the mountain; but in beds of purple, caressed by magnificent beasts of women with large limbs, and fire and light in their eyes, and masses of flaming hair about them; there shall ye find them. Ye shall see them at rule, at victorious armies, at all the joy; and there shall be in them a joy a million times greater than this. Beware lest any force another, King against King! Love one another with burning hearts; on the low men trample in the fierce lust of your pride, in the day of your wrath.

Hermits not in the usual sense for they do not live in seclusion practicing a life of devotion as monks of old, they stride the world, strong and noble, the Light of Love radiating outwards in all directions.

25. Ye are against the people, O my chosen!

26. I am the secret Serpent coiled about to spring: in my coiling there is joy. If I lift up my head, I and my Nuit are one. If I droop down mine head, and shoot forth venom, then is rapture of the earth, and I and the earth are one.

The Serpent is the Kundalini, a sexual energy that rises up the spine to flourish in the mystic union with the Ajna, symbolic of the pentagram and the hexagram, the union of matter and spirit or man and God.

27. There is great danger in me; for who doth not understand these runes shall make a great miss. He shall fall down into the pit called Because, and there he shall perish with the dogs of Reason.

Hadit=5+1+4+10+9=29, [2+9=11]. Reason=200+5+1+7(zayin) +70+50=333 ChVRVNZVN (‘Choronzon’).

28. Now a curse upon Because and his kin!


29. May Because be accursed for ever!

30. If Will stops and cries Why, invoking Because, then Will stops & does nought.

In its simplest form all actions which are not acted out of Love under will fail to manifest as a result of inertia and lack of interest, thus the will has been reduced to ‘slave’ and not the ‘master’ as it should be.

31. If Power asks why, then is Power weakness.

32. Also reason is a lie; for there is a factor infinite & unknown; & all their words are skew-wise.

33. Enough of Because! Be he damned for a dog!

34. But ye, o my people, rise up & awake!

35. Let the rituals be rightly performed with joy & beauty!

36. There are rituals of the elements and feasts of the times.

37. A feast for the first night of the Prophet and his Bride!

12th August. [Crowley married Rose Kelly at Dingwall in Scotland on this date in 1903].

38. A feast for the three days of the writing of the Book of the Law.

8, 9 & 10 April, beginning at midday. [Crowley received the Law of Thelema on these days in the year 1904, between the hours of midday and one p.m.].

39. A feast for Tahuti and the child of the Prophet--secret, O Prophet!

A secret feast known only to initiates!

40. A feast for the Supreme Ritual, and a feast for the Equinox of the Gods.

The Invocation of Horus: 20th March, the Equinox of the Gods. [The beginning of the Thelemic New Year].

41. A feast for fire and a feast for water; a feast for life and a greater feast for death!

Fire= puberty for a boy. Water= puberty for a girl. Feast for life= birth, and a Feast for death is ‘death’ also known as the ‘greater feast’. Feasts are joyous occasions and a time to celebrate the events in a Thelemite’s journey through life; death is not the end and it is not a time for sadness and mourning.

42. A feast every day in your hearts in the joy of my rapture!

43. A feast every night unto Nu, and the pleasure of uttermost delight!

44. Aye! feast! rejoice! there is no dread hereafter. There is the dissolution, and eternal ecstasy in the kisses of Nu.

45. There is death for the dogs.

46. Dost thou fail? Art thou sorry? Is fear in thine heart?

FAIL=6+1+10+30=47 [4+7=11].

47. Where I am these are not.

48. Pity not the fallen! I never knew them. I am not for them. I console not: I hate the consoled & the consoler.

To pity an individual is to cause shame and to create weakness, which stirs the ego into action and divides the ‘one thing from the other’; this can develop into a delusion of a hierarchy of opposition and will against will. Therefore, it is better to ‘strike hard’ and let the fallen, fall.

49. I am unique & conqueror. I am not of the slaves that perish. Be they damned & dead! Amen. (This is of the 4: there is a fifth who is invisible, & therein am I as a babe in an egg. )

AMEN=AMN=91. The ‘4’ is the four elements and the ‘fifth’ is the fifth element of ‘spirit’. Damned suggests Hell (HLL=65).

50. Blue am I and gold in the light of my bride: but the red gleam is in my eyes; & my spangles are purple & green.

51. Purple beyond purple: it is the light higher than eyesight.

52. There is a veil: that veil is black. It is the veil of the modest woman; it is the veil of sorrow, & the pall of death: this is none of me. Tear down that lying spectre of the centuries: veil not your vices in virtuous words: these vices are my service; ye do well, & I will reward you here and hereafter.

53. Fear not, o prophet, when these words are said, thou shalt not be sorry. Thou art emphatically my chosen; and blessed are the eyes that thou shalt look upon with gladness. But I will hide thee in a mask of sorrow: they that see thee shall fear thou art fallen: but I lift thee up.

Crowley overcame many difficult obstacles throughout his life and much pain and so the word ‘sorrow’ does apply to the prophet and as for his falling that is a matter of opinion.

54. Nor shall they who cry aloud their folly that thou meanest nought avail; thou shall reveal it: thou availest: they are the slaves of because: They are not of me. The stops as thou wilt; the letters? change them not in style or value!

WILT=6+10+30+9=55 (1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9+10=55, the Mystic number of Malkuth).

55. Thou shalt obtain the order & value of the English Alphabet; thou shalt find new symbols to attribute them unto.

56. Begone! ye mockers; even though ye laugh in my honour ye shall laugh not long: then when ye are sad know that I have forsaken you.

57. He that is righteous shall be righteous still; he that is filthy shall be filthy still.

58. Yea! deem not of change: ye shall be as ye are, & not other. Therefore the kings of the earth shall be Kings for ever: the slaves shall serve. There is none that shall be cast down or lifted up: all is ever as it was. Yet there are masked ones my servants: it may be that yonder beggar is a King. A King may choose his garment as he will: there is no certain test: but a beggar cannot hide his poverty.

59. Beware therefore! Love all, lest perchance is a King concealed! Say you so? Fool! If he be a King, thou canst not hurt him.

KING=20+10+50+3=83 [8+3=11]. HIM=5+10+40=55.

60. Therefore strike hard & low, and to hell with them, master!

61. There is a light before thine eyes, o prophet, a light undesired, most desirable.


62. I am uplifted in thine heart; and the kisses of the stars rain hard upon thy body.

63. Thou art exhaust in the voluptuous fullness of the inspiration; the expiration is sweeter than death, more rapid and laughterful than a caress of Hell's own worm.

64. Oh! thou art overcome: we are upon thee; our delight is all over thee: hail! hail: prophet of Nu! prophet of Had! prophet of Ra-Hoor-Khu! Now rejoice! now come in our splendour & rapture! Come in our passionate peace, & write sweet words for the Kings.

Oh=6+5=11. WE=6+5=11.

65. I am the Master: thou art the Holy Chosen One.

66. Write, & find ecstasy in writing! Work, & be our bed in working! Thrill with the joy of life & death! Ah! thy death shall be lovely: whoso seeth it shall be glad. Thy death shall be the seal of the promise of our age long love. Come! lift up thine heart & rejoice! We are one; we are none.

The verse ends with 6 words: ‘ONE’ 6+50+5=65 and ‘NONE’ 50+6+50+5=111 [the difference between one and none is death (50, the letter nun and ‘death; in the Tarot). BED=2+5+4=11.

67. Hold! Hold! Bear up in thy rapture; fall not in swoon of the excellent kisses!

68. Harder! Hold up thyself! Lift thine head! breathe not so deep -- die!


69. Ah! Ah! What do I feel? Is the word exhausted?

Crowley’s consciousness returns believing that the writing is finished.

70. There is help & hope in other spells. Wisdom says: be strong! Then canst thou bear more joy. Be not animal; refine thy rapture! If thou drink, drink by the eight and ninety rules of art: if thou love, exceed by delicacy; and if thou do aught joyous, let there be subtlety therein!

‘Eight and ninety’: 8= Cheth, the charioteer and 90= Tzaddi, the Emperor. ‘SPELLS’ by the Tarot= XIV+XVI+XVII+VIII+VIII+XIV=77 (7x11) OZ [Baphomet].

71. But exceed! exceed!

72. Strive ever to more! and if thou art truly mine -- and doubt it not, an if thou art ever joyous! -- death is the crown of all.

The Thelemite must endure all forms of experiences be they painful or pleasurable to test the limitations of the will and ‘exceed’ beyond one’s expectations. The nature of the god Hadit is to be in motion and not remain inert for inertia is the great destroyer of the self; the will must aspire to continual growth through the practice of new experiences and the process of ‘refining’ and ‘exceeding’ those experiences.

73. Ah! Ah! Death! Death! thou shalt long for death. Death is forbidden, o man, unto thee.

74. The length of thy longing shall be the strength of its glory. He that lives long & desires death much is ever the King among the Kings.

75. Aye! listen to the numbers & the words:

The sentence seems to suggest that the numbers and words in verse 76 have a hidden oral cipher.

76. 4 6 3 8 A B K 2 4 A L G M O R 3 Y X 24 89 R P S T O V A L. What meaneth this, o prophet? Thou knowest not; nor shalt thou know ever. There cometh one to follow thee: he shall expound it. But remember, o chosen one, to be me; to follow the love of Nu in the star-lit heaven; to look forth upon men, to tell them this glad word.

‘GLAD’ word= Glad by the Tarot= II+VIII+O+III=13 [AChad (unity) & AHBH (love). 13 is also 31 reversed. Glad = 3+30+1+4=38 (3+8=11). 38x11+418. ‘WORD’ by the Tarot= V+XV+XIX+III=42.
Glad word= 13+42=55 [5x11, the pentagram and the number of Magick. 55 is the mystic number of Malkuth].

77. O be thou proud and mighty among men!

‘O be’=70+2+5=77 (Oz etc) also, 6+2+5=13 (AHBH, AChAD…)

78. Lift up thyself! for there is none like unto thee among men or among Gods! Lift up thyself, o my prophet, thy stature shall surpass the stars. They shall worship thy name, foursquare, mystic, wonderful, the number of the man; and the name of thy house 418.

‘house 418’= Boleskine House on the banks of Loch Ness in Scotland where Crowley began the Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mage. GODS=3+70+4+60=137 [1+3+7=11] Boleskine=BVLShKIN=2+6+30+300+20+10+50= 418.

LIFT= 30+10+6+9=55.

79. The end of the hiding of Hadit; and blessing & worship to the prophet of the lovely Star!

‘Star’ by the Tarot= XIV+XI+O+XIX=44 (DM, blood).


The King-Ghost is abroad. His spectre legions
Sweep from their icy lakes and bleak ravines
Unto these weary and untrodden regions
Where man lies penned among his Might-have-beens.
Keep us in safety, Lord,
What time the King-Ghost is abroad!
The King-Ghost from his grey malefic slumbers
Awakes the malice of his bloodless brain.
He marshals the innumerable numbers
Of shrieking shapes on the sepulchral plain.
Keep us, for Jesu's sake,
What time the King-Ghost is awake!
The King-Ghost wears a crown of hopes forgotten;
Dead loves are woven in his ghastly robe;
Bewildered wills and faiths grown old and rotten
And deeds undared his sceptre, sword and globe.
Keep us, O Mary maid,
What time the King-Ghost goes arrayed!
The Hell-Wind whistles through his plumeless pinions;
Clanks all that melancholy host of bones;
Fate's principalities and Death's dominions
Echo the drear discord, the tuneless tones.
Keep us, dear God, from ill,
What time the Hell-Wind whistles shrill.
The King-Ghost hath no music but their rattling;
No scent but death's grown faint and fugitive;
No light but this their leprous pallor battling
Weakly with night. Lord, shall these dry bones live?
O keep us in the hour
Wherein the King-Ghost hath his power!
The King-Ghost girds me with his gibbering creatures,
My dreams of old that never saw the sun.
He shows me, in a mocking glass, their features,
The twin fiends "Might-have-been" and "Should-have-done".
Keep us, by Jesu's ruth,
What time the King-Ghost grins the truth!
The King-Ghost boasts eternal usurpature;
For in this pool of tears his fingers fret
I had imagined, by enduring nature,
The twin gods "Thus-will-I" and "May-be-yet".
God, keep us most from ill,
What time the King-Ghost grips the will!
Silver and rose and gold what flame resurges?
What living light pours forth in emerald waves?
What inmost Music drowns the clamorous dirges?
Shrieking they fly, the King-Ghost and his slaves.
Lord, let Thy Ghost indwell,
And keep us from the power of Hell!
[from ‘Gargoyles’ 1907. The Collected Works of Aleister Crowley. Volume iii]

All this artful energy is divine, and legend -
Never a watched moment lost in tenderness;
Never the ghostly whisper of your gentle kiss,
Always the sweet surrender of the damned!
Look! Our frail past eclipsed by time;
Our meanings shouldered far away...they grew
Under our heartache, pushed past their prime...
Inside, I knew, that fateful day, I knew
Something stupid was summoned which closed our eyes;
Eyes drawn by exhaustion at the dread end game,
Making no sense at the mountain growth of lies...
And in this, I carefully erased your sacred name:
You have drowned me in your crafted world of pagan joys!
Barry Van-Asten

By Connie Lingus

His Phallus, like the Rose of Hell,
Silent beneath his robe, would swell
On scent of ____, his Horus Eye
Would tremble and look to the sky;
And like a sword within his hands,
Made oceans of the desert sands!
His foam did shake the sacred tomb
Of the Scarlet Woman’s rosy womb
And blessed her with the Demon Seed:
Do what thou wilt, remained his creed!
His purple-headed wand, aflame
With sin, he’ll shove it into shame
And stir the pit of Hell. The true
Horror of his Devil’s Brew
Strikes the Heart, speeds like Cocaine
From the Anus to the Brain!
And he would _____ his way through sin
To reach the end, and begin again!
His ______ was sacred, and his _____
Is drank like wine in the Abyss!
A Man; a God: they serve him still:
Love is the law, love under will!


Excerpts from the Magickal Diaries

Friday 1st July. LBR. 10.30 a.m. Fabric Vision: I had images of many rooms in a large house, each one like a photograph showing the furniture, ornaments and decorations. This lasted a long time and continued on to the second vision: I was beneath the blankets in bed; I was aware of who I am and where I am and the time etc. Then a strong blue light (LVX) filled my consciousness, even lighter than daylight. I had to ask myself: ‘Where am I?’ Yet I knew I was in a dark room, with my eyes closed, under the blanket. The blue light was of a ‘fabric’ nature, soft and penetrating. Patterned above and below and all around – like a room completely covered in material, with no corners, no joins and no roof or floor etc, it was just one expanse of surface. I remained in full control throughout and could travel wherever I wished to go and examine whatever I wished to see. The light was overwhelming and the sun seemed to pale by comparison. There is some link between these visions I call ‘fabric’.
Saturday 2nd July. LBR. 02.29 a.m. T. O=O the Hierophant; to keep the secrets etc and the mysteries of the Order spoken by the candidate P.A.A.A.
02.38 a.m. Asana: Legs crossed, hands on Yesod. A hot night. Mantra: A.M.P.H. I stimulate Yesod using the expansion and contraction technique I discovered. Very good. Dharana on Horus in Ajna – my hands completely disappeared. I put my hands on my head: thumbs over ears; first finger over eyes, second fingers on nostrils, third and fourth fingers over mouth. Ida and Pingala [in through Pingala] good. I felt as if I were some sort of breathing mechanism. I could hear the heart beating and the air entering and leaving the lungs. At the end I felt a terrific joy at the intricate workings of the human body. The work ended at 03.08 a.m. and I focused the ‘Eye of Horus’ in the Pyramid with the Solar Blaze in my Ajna into sleep. Duration of asana= 30 minutes.
Sunday 3rd July. LBR. 02.05 a.m. T. O=O the Hierophant and the circumambulations – Kerux bars the way, purification with water and consecration with fire.
02.15 a.m. Asana: Legs crossed, hands on knees. Mantra: A.M.P.H. [in active and passive form, i.e. sound=10 minutes, and silence=10 minutes]. A few breaks. I noticed a rocking motion was set up as if I were upon a boat on a vast ocean, also some small spasms or jerks. Mantra good. My hands disappeared. The weather is hot yet I trembled as my body became rigid. Breathing good, although stomach not completely empty. I ended at 02.44 a.m. Duration of asana=29 minutes.
Tuesday 5th July. LBR. 02.58 a.m. T. O=O continues. Very low emotionally.
Wednesday 6th July. LBR. 02.42 a.m. T. O=O purification and consecration – enter the east (Hexagram and altar).
09.10 a.m. Eucharistos.
Friday 8th July. LBR. ‘John St John’: day three. [Equinox vol I]. 6.00-7.05 p.m.
Saturday 9th July. LBR. 02.15 a.m. T. O=O at the altar. Go to the east ‘Khabs Am Pekht’ etc.
02.25 a.m. Asana: Thunderbolt. Pranayama: Puraka=10, Kumbhaka=10, Rechaka=10, Kumbhaka=10. Good. I increased it to 11/11/11/11. Also good. I was on the edge of consciousness and began to sweat, but I only managed two cycles of this. Mantra: A.M.P.H. Body completely rigid. Stimulate Muladhara [Yesod]. Chakra. I felt the fire (solar) energy rise from Yesod and the water (lunar) energy entering through Kether, and descending into Tiphereth, where it conjoined with the fire to form the Hexagram [the downward pointing triangle meeting the upward pointing triangle or the Macrocosm and the Microcosm]

Yoni: Male=Sun/ Female=Moon

Kether: Male=Moon/ Female=Sun

The Shiva and Shakti or the Sun/Moon symbolism of the Beast and Babalon conjoined.

The Hexagram remained in Tiphereth. I placed the R.C. in Ajna which was also quite good but a little difficult due to outside disturbances. I ended at 02.45 a.m. Duration of asana= 20 minutes.
02.48 a.m. Asana: Lotus position. The expansion and contraction of the Solar Plexus to stimulate Sushumna. End at 03.00 a.m.
09.20 a.m. Asana: Thunderbolt. LBR. Pranayama: Puraka=5, Kumbhaka=10, Rechaka=20. I could not even manage one cycle of this difficult pranayama. Stomach empty, very hot and throat dry. Today is the First Day of Judgement concerning O=O (1).
Monday 11th July. LBR. The Second Day of Judgement in O=O the weighing of the soul; the death of the man and the birth of the neophyte. I feel as if I am in some sort of waking Dharana state. It is hard to do normal routines as my life is examined from within and without! (2) Read ‘John St John’ day three - day five [Equinox vol I] 5.40-6.30 p.m. ‘Temple of Solomon’ [Equinox vol I number iv] 6.30-7.15 p.m. The ‘Yogas’ and the ‘Mudras’ 7.18-725 pm. ‘Maya Mudra’ [Equinox IV ‘Solomon’]
Asana; stimulate Yoni – pulsating began in Yoni and ascended into Sushumna thence to Tiphereth, then Daath, then Ajna (pulsing at the back of the skull) which became a little painful. Sweating intensely (more than in the usual pranayama). Very hot outside. Stomach quite empty. 8.35 pm. in the Hanged Man position. Mantra: A.M.P.H. into Solar Plexus – the body began jerking soon afterwards. I counted four major jerks. My tongue was very dry and sticking to the roof of my mouth; my hands were vibrating behind my head. I expanded and contracted consciousness by breathing – darkness like a large lung inflating and deflating. Very hot! I ended at 8.55 p.m.
Tuesday 12th July. LBR. The Third Day of Judgement in O=O. I intended to do some work concerning O=O but physical manifestations persist in stopping me. I am unable to work because judgement continues which yes is frustrating but also necessary!
01.57 a.m. Asana: My position: sitting on left heel, right leg over left thigh. Chakras. The Kundalini force in the Sushumna, glowing and increasing in strength. Maya Mudra (Yoni). Pranayama: Puraka=10, Kumbhaka=10, Rechaka=20, Kumbhaka=10. Sweating. [The original sequence of pranayama was 10/5/20/5 then I increased Kumbhaka by one for every cycle until it reached 10/10/20/10] Good. After a while I opened my physical eyes and felt a terrible disgust for wasting my time in all of this – obviously an ‘Apophis’ of I.A.O. and part of the continuing judgement (3). I ended at 02.40 a.m. Duration=43 minutes. Very hot.
09.15-09.20 a.m. Pranayama: 10/10/20/10. I did six cycles of this. Very hot again! Stomach empty and mouth dry. 91 degrees today. [Note LBR at the start of each day includes: the Pentagram, the Hexagram and the Star Ruby Ritual].
4.50-6.10 p.m. ‘John St John’ day five - day eight [Equinox vol I]
6.10-6.25 p.m. G.D. ‘Bornless Ritual’ (also Liber Samekh).
Thursday 14th July. LBR. The Fifth day of Judgement in O=O. I am still not being allowed to proceed with O=O.
02.52 a.m. I was content to learn the secret signs and steps etc till 03.04 a.m.
Friday 15th July. LBR. The Sixth Day of Judgement in O=O. ‘John St John’ day eight - day ten [Equinox I] 5.40-6.25 p.m. The Magickal Retirement by G.H. O.M. 7=4 (Oct 1908. Paris), Magick and Confessions and G.D (O=O).
Saturday 16th July. LBR. The Seventh Day of Judgement in O=O. 02.45 a.m. T. O=O I attempted the ‘Purification and Consecration’ but had to stop at 02.50 a.m. as I am still not being allowed to proceed any further, no matter how much I desire to. Physical obstacles have been placed in my way. I am still under judgement!
10.00 a.m. Pranayama: 10/5/20/5. I increased this to 10/10/20/10 by the previous method of 12th July. Hot in Asana: Legs crossed, hands together in Muladhara, to erase the thought of ‘breathing in’ which seems to work. I ended the work at 10.09 a.m. Stomach empty, dry and hot. Tired. I was reluctant to do any work but I forced myself to.
10.20. Eucharistos. There are further hampering concerning O=O; something is determined to hinder my work!
Sunday 17th July. LBR. The Eighth Day of Judgement in O=O. 09.00 a.m. ‘The Final Ordeal’ concerning O=O – The night is over! I have come through! I was insulted and degraded by every form of humiliation during this dark night of my soul – the last judgement! I was lying in a dark chamber and I was pestilence, plague and famine. I was spat upon; I was gnawed at by rats until my flesh fell from me – I cried unto the Lord of the Universe: ‘Eloi, Eloi, Lama Sabacthani!’ [My God, My God, Why hast Thou forsaken me!] And I was led from the chamber, up a wooden ladder and into the sunlight – ‘Quit the night and seek the day!’ The struggle with the will lasted the whole night, until judgement was over and I came through. I had no choice in the matter and there was no evading it; I had put certain things into action by my will and the outcome would occur with or without me, but I had no choice this night as to my attendance and I am able to continue with the O=O in the final section. The grade hath been bestowed upon me! (4)
09.03 a.m. T. O=O the ‘circumambulations’ to the end of the opening. Ended at 09.19 a.m. on the Eighth Day of Judgement, Sunday 17th July 1994 e.v. [the ninetieth year in the Aeon of Horus] in the Valley of the Second City, (5). The secret password was that discovered at the Vernal Equinox, whose number was 227: Vau – Aleph – Beth – Resh – Yod – Cheth [2+2+7=11 the number of Magick].
09.20-09.35 a.m. Asana: Hanged Man.
3.50-4.50 p.m. ‘John St John’ day ten to the end [Equinox I]. ‘Confessions’ (Chapter 20) 6.05-6.30 p.m.
Monday 18th July. LBR. At 07.20 a.m. I intended to do an hour of asana and pranayama with Ida and Pingala but Ida is still very badly blocked.
T. O=O: I began the Closing Ceremony of the O=O at 07.24 a.m. ‘Hekas! Hekas! Este Bebeloi!’ etc.
The Hierophant: ‘Let the Mystical reverse circumambulations take place, in the pathway of light’, after Purification and Consecration.
Vision: I met a certain Adept, an Adeptus Minor 5=6, I know not his motto. I told him of my high aspirations towards the Great Work and he spoke in a very peculiar manner, saying: ‘Never pay anything back the first time, if you can’t pay it back the second!’ All of his talk was of this sort of nature; he spoke in riddles which needed to be thought over. Mantra: A.M.P.H. a few breaks - Fabric: A stone room, grey, filled with light. Thirty to Forty minutes of the mantra gave me a headache.
Tuesday 19th July. LBR. My dreams were filled with grotesque phantoms, still after their pound of flesh! I had to use the LBR to destroy them!
Friday 22nd July. LBR. 09.10 a.m. T. O=O the reverse circumambulation and adorations facing East. (Ida still blocked).
Saturday 23rd July. LBR. The Final Day of O=O. In the T. (Temple) 07.45 a.m. the Rose, Fire, Bread, Salt and Cup (elements on the altar) the Closing of the Temple is at an end and so ends the initiation into the grade of O=O began on Sunday 15th May 1994 e.v. (6) [An XC] (7) and ending on Saturday 23rd July 1994 e.v. [An XC].
Duration of O=O the Grade of the Neophyte = 69 days.

69= the number of A....... when spelt with Zamed, which replaces Samekh – Zamed=7, Samekh= 60. See Chapter 69 in The Book of Lies by Aleister Crowley.

Sunday 24th July. LBR. The strange ‘stigmata’ markings on the forearms have now completely gone!
02.05 a.m. Asana: legs crossed, facing east. Performed the Star Ruby Ritual. Chakras. Dharana on Muladhara. Very good – duality, from above: Kether. Also received vision which I used to know well in childhood, but did not understand! It is a complete expansion and smothering with no way over, around, under or through. It is hard to explain. I knew immediately that it was a form of Dhyana, the beginnings of a partial Samadhi – I have given this vision the name ‘Tortoise’ because the head appears from the protective shell in the same manner as the vision unfolds. During Chakras, on reaching Daath – the Vishuddha, my consciousness became filled by discarnate voices, an unknown source. But I took this to be nothing more than what Crowley describes as ‘telephone conversations’ in ‘John St John’.
Monday 25th July. LBR. 7.00 p.m. Magick: Preliminary Remarks and part III: Theorums – 8.15 pm.
Tuesday 26th July. LBR. Asana: Lotus position. 02.35-02.50 a.m. Chakras – Vishuddha. No pain in asana.
07.30 a.m. Asana: Legs crossed. Ida and Pingala [in 10 Ida and out 20 Pingala]. Pingala became blocked at 07.50 a.m. and I had to end. I remained in my asana and did pranayama: 10/10/10/10. Till 07.55 a.m. [15 cycles]. Stomach empty. Reading Regardie’s ‘Golden Dawn’ 08.00 a.m. [Formula of O=O grade] end at 08.35 a.m. Duration of asana= 65 minutes.
Wednesday 27th July. LBR. 06.05 a.m. Asana: legs crossed. Mantra: A.M.P.H. [active and passive, i.e. aloud for 5 minutes and silent for 15 minutes] – 06.25 a.m. I counted five large breaks but still quite well. Stomach empty.
06.35 a.m. Eucharistos.
‘Vision of the Nostoc’ – I witnessed the expulsion of Amritta, or celestial dew. It was difficult to control but thought seems to stop it by will (and can retain it). Its nature was of blood, semen, urine and a further principle I felt to be masculine of a milk-like consistency. I have received the vision once before, but was unable to understand it at the time. It has a gum consistency and is neither actually liquid nor solid; it is colourless in appearance but close investigation reveals red speckles (blood). A little is invigorating but too much has a sickly taste and can even be harmful. Of course, I gorged myself on it! It is not sweet and it is not bitter!

Male: the hidden secretion [HAD]. Positive, Active – symbol of the sun. Shin: XX
Female: the hidden secretion [NUIT]. Negative, Passive – symbol of the moon. Teth: XI.
XX+XI=XXXI [31]. These two principles merge to form the symbol of the sun and the moon conjoined. (8).
Friday 29th July. LBR. 02.45 a.m. LBR and Tatwa: earth. Began well: Diety vibration – Archangel – Angel. R.C. in Ajna. Mantra: A.M.P.H.
Saturday 30th July. LBR. 08.00 a.m. Asana: Hanged Man. Tatwa: earth. Began well again. Fell into terrifying dreams again: the demon is hot on the trail! LVX – like a lightening flash! There were people in strange costumes, surrounded by trees and they were clapping in a sacred manner. End at 08.43 a.m.
10.25 a.m.Eucharistos. Very hot.
Sunday 31st July. LBR. Magick part II.
Tuesday 2nd August. LBR. I entered the T. (Temple) in my astral body. Asana: Legs crossed, hands on knees. Chakras.
Sunday 8th August. I entered the T. In my astral body. I had perfect control of the form. Chakras. At the heart of Tiphereth, golden and around it the white flame.
Monday 9th August. LBR. 02.10 a.m. enter the T. In astral body. A blue light penetrated through the skin. I used the Tatwa of spirit to rise – thought gives the sensation of feeling (touch). There was an automatic rising when the blue light touched the skin.
07.20 a.m. Eucharistos.
Saturday 13th August. LBR. 02.50 a.m. I do not know why but I am having doubts in magick.
Wednesday 17th August. LBR. 02.05 a.m. The blue light entered the skin and I willed myself from the rising and concentrated on turning the darkness (inner) of consciousness into daylight and beyond! Success! I noted later that the doubts of earlier have all but gone. The magick light seems to flicker in strength and during weak periods doubts seem to occur. I must continue to work without lust of result; it is the ‘doing’ that is important!
Monday 22nd August. LBR. Eucharistos: Fabric vision – myself as dead!
Tuesday 23rd August. LBR. 01.55 a.m. Asana: Legs crossed – 02.35 a.m. Rigid with jerks. Hands and feet disappeared, all inward. Some dark entity spoke the name of ‘Choronzon’; but I was unafraid. His eyes were burning yellow. I used my own motto as a mantra: P.A.A.A. which proved effective. I demanded Adni – I shook all over as if I were being electrocuted: Yesod was positively alive and pulsing with vibration, in the shape of the Yoni – Sushumna: The downward pointing triangle of water fused with the upward pointing triangle of fire to become the hexagram, and it was swift as an arrow! Even through sleep I kept it and even kept the Tatwa of water in my Ajna for as long as I could.
Thursday 25th August. LBR. 01.55-02.00 Asana: my position. I could not manage it. I became very emotional and I implored Adni’s forgiveness and to not judge the brute too harshly (also for my incessant demands of him, especially on Tuesday 23rd August).
Saturday 27th August. LBR. 02.25 a.m. Asana: Hanged Man. I used the Middle Pillar Exercise and received a ‘fabric’ vision.
Tuesday 30th August. LBR. Morning Vision: The adept, wearing the robe of the Neophyte [O=O], with his cat named Jamara. ‘Fabric Vision’: I looked down the vastness of my body, horizontally in bed, towards my feet – but it was not my bed and they were not my feet! Also the lighting in the room was all different. I said ‘this is not real’ and touched my eyes (either astrally or physically) and everything changed and became normal again, my bed and my feet etc. Equinox III: Temple of Solomon 6.25-6.50 p.m.
Wednesday 31st August. LBR. 02.15 a.m. Chakras and Dharana on a swinging golden bell. Two enormous breaks!
Friday 2nd September. LBR. 02.00 a.m. Asana: legs crossed. Invoke Hexagram. Mantra: A.M.P.H. (no breaks) but had to stop because of pains in my head.
11.45 a.m. Eucharistos. Equinox: Solomon and Magick Liber O.
Saturday 3rd September. LBR. Asana:Legs crossed, 02.20-02.30 a.m. After the Star Ruby Ritual. Assumption of HPK, vibration good, but lust for result caused failure! Although the assumption was good!
07.20 a.m. Eucharistos. ‘Fabric’ vision. Emotionally low again.
Monday 5th September. LBR. There are more doubts in magick – the Gods withdraw!
LBR continues through the dark days ahead.
Saturday 10th September. LBR. 02.30 a.m. Asana: Hanged Man. I used the Middle Pillar Exercise. ‘Fabric’ vision: In my astral form I entered a room which was bright and very large with lots of glass display cases as one would see in a museum. I had perfect control of my astral form and could move it in any direction at will. I looked at the window and saw my reflection repeated many times in the glass. I looked at one cabinet and saw various leaves and other objects, all numbered and categorised. I tested myself by looking away, and then turned to the cabinet again and the same items were there in the same order. Just then a bell started to ring and I got the distinct feeling I should return to the physical body, but I noticed lots of sea shells in another cabinet by the window. The walls were golden and the floor was red. When I looked out of the window, it was strange, it was a tall building but there were many reflections of myself, looking at myself which seemed to continue into infinity.
07.45 a.m. Eucharistos.
Sunday 11th September. LBR. 02.10 a.m. In my astral I rose vertically into the air with my hands behind my Muladhara. I entered a golden landscape. I prolonged the ‘who am I? What am I?’ etc and I said ‘My body is vibrating’ and it vibrated (just as I had willed it to). I also moved my astral arm from my physical arm and raised it. It had a texture of its own. It can feel if I will it to feel or even appear like smoke and travel long distances.
Monday 12th September. LBR. Vision: Walking in a circular motion, beside a lake. There were a crowd of people in the distance. They were able to see and pick blue objects from the air, small and round which were swallowed, under golden trees (I took two but only swallowed one). They seem to give energy, yet pacify the instincts; they also stop the sun from physically harming one. It all ended in terror: A woman with blonde hair tore open a man’s chest (active and passive nature) for she began kissing him. She opened her own chest and then I came towards them. She thrust her hands into the man’s chest cavity and scrambled his internal organs with her long finger nails, and began to eat them! I ran and as I looked back the woman had become a large cat like a leopard and she sat beside the man, licking at his insides as a cat licks at a tray of cat food.
Tuesday 13th September. LBR. Blackness filled by thunder cracks (green and red). I find Puraka maintains the green light and Rechaka maintains the red, through a sort of merging. The colours fill the blackness so that I can’t form a single image – interrupted by distractions outside so had to end.
Saturday 17th September. LBR. 07.30 a.m. Eucharistos. 08.00 a.m. ‘Fabric’ vision: unmentionable yet it concerned the ‘Nostoc’.
Sunday 18th September. LBR. 02.00 a.m. Work interrupted by outside distractions.
Tuesday 20th September. LBR. 02.20 a.m. Middle Pillar Exercise. Chakras. I began well but my mind was a jumble of images I could not control, and so ended.
Thursday 22nd September. LBR. 09.00 a.m. Eucharistos. The eve of the Autumn Equinox and doubts are returning!
Saturday 24th September. LBR. 02.00 a.m. Middle Pillar Exercise. Chakras. Doubts.
Sunday 25th September. LBR. 02.10 a.m. I entered the astral body. Very good - duality. I came upon a bronze city, and there was a bronze old man with a beard to welcome me. But how can I live up to my motto P.A.A.A.? I am ashamed to call myself a neophyte! I have strayed!
08.45 a.m. Fire Tatwa. Quite good.
Wednesday 28th September. LBR. 09.10 a.m. Eucharistos.
Saturday 1st October. LBR. 02.25 a.m. Mantra: A.M.P.H. Instead of fixing my concentration on the centre (Hadit) I concentrated to the side (or circumference) of it (Nuit); difficult to express in words, but I never had it to the front of my consciousness (9). The blue light descended upon me, phosphorescent in its nature, almost gaseous. Instead of rising vertically in my astral body, I ‘rose’ horizontally and forwards. I felt a tremendous rush of air as I travelled at a much swifter pace than vertically.
09.25 a.m. Eucharistos.
Sunday 2nd October. LBR. Chakras. I concentrated upon the spinning Chakra wheels, the motion releasing a great surge of energy. I rose in my body of light, as in yesterday’s practice, only this time I travelled sideways in the horizontal – ‘I’m to the left of me! I’m under me! I’m over me! [On thinking of my earth form the air form became very transparent, as if its energy were being diverted to the earth form etc]. The air form began to be pulled back towards the earth form, unconsciously which was difficult to resist – thus why the training of the mind and the strengthening of the will is of such importance! Yoga=Magick!
Thursday 6th October. LBR. 11.50 a.m. Eucharistos.
Tuesday 11th October. LBR. Premonition concerning the death of a family member (10).
Wednesday 12th October. LBR. The Birth of the Beast.
Thursday 13th October. LBR. No matter what I do something always brings me back to magick, no matter how lazy I am. Physical signs appear constantly as a reminder of the G.W. (Great Work) and of the serious implications of breaking the oath. Reading ‘Magick’ 9-10.50 p.m.
Sunday 16th October. LBR. 02.30 a.m. Mantra: A.M.P.H. quite good.
09.25 a.m. Eucharistos. Mantra: A.M.P.H. 09.30-09.55 a.m. [only two major breaks, I heard some words: ‘the Queen of the East’ (11)].
Tuesday 18th October. LBR. I had a vision which I can only relate as something similar to Crowley’s ‘Star Sponge’ vision (12). I saw Hadit swallowed by Nuit, and the beautiful blue of her vestments. The stars and the galaxies were all moving and exploding like one enormous organism, forming in clusters as if I were an insignificant amoeba in the great Pacific Ocean. There were no breaks during the vision. Towards its end a large eye appeared and it cried dew as it blinked – [The eye of Horus, or the eye of Shiva] I was unable to remove this eye from my consciousness, no matter what I did, until it went freely. Time was immaterial but I was earthbound again at 02.30 a.m.
Thursday 20th October. LBR. 02.15 a.m. The blue light was upon me and it was pulsing. I rose in my astral body. I heard a sound in my ear (not the nada) which increased in volume and tone. I used the mantra: A.M.P.H. and found myself that is my body of light, downstairs with no recollection of time in any natural form. A magnetic force was reacting with my astral body and controlling where it travelled to. I immediately flew (more like I was flung) into a corner by a small window, and then again into the opposite corner and then to the centre of the room. My right leg began to raise with a will of its own it seemed. I could do nothing to stop it from rising (I was unaware of it at first until I noticed it happening). The leg was as light as a feather!
Saturday 22nd October. LBR. 03.28 a.m. Mantra: A.M.P.H. An exercise concerning Liber Berashith [Magick – Liber Thisharb].
Sunday 23rd October. LBR. 02.30 a.m. God-Head: Osiris Risen – partial success. I was disturbed.
08.45 a.m. Eucharistos. Reading Magick 06.30-08.15 a.m. Rising on the planes. Liber O and Liber Samech: Preliminary Invocation.
Monday 24th October. LBR. Gematria (777) 6.50-10.20 p.m.
Tuesday 25th October. LBR. 02.10 a.m. The earth body and the body of light conjoined in the form of H.P.K. [Hoor-Paar-Kraat]. I used the sign of the Enterer to return. The form was robed as in the Golden Dawn Neophyte grade. Purification and consecration of the Circle. The Invocation of H.P.K. God-Head 02.55 a.m.
Thursday 27th October. LBR. 02.10 a.m. I entered the Temple in my astral form using the previous formula of H.P.K. Instead of doing it slowly I did it at a quicker pace with good results. The rising was good, in fact much better. My hands and feet became almost nonexistent!
Saturday 29th October. LBR. 08.30 a.m. ‘Fabric’ vision concerning the ‘future of man’. I stood on a metal tiled floor and was surrounded by uniforms of black and red, which were metallic in appearance.
Sunday 30th October. LBR. 02.30 a.m. I entered the Temple and Invoked Earth in the form of Set Fighting. Very good.
Monday 31st October. LBR. Midnight: the Enterer in the form of H.P.K. – Initiation to East!
Tuesday 1st November. LBR. 03.05 a.m. I entered the Temple. Asana: Legs crossed. 03.15 a.m. Chakras: Ajna, eyes appeared open, not the earth eyes but the astral eyes. I used the form of H.P.K. Tatwa: Fire of Earth (triangle within a square). End at 03.45 a.m.
I was awoken at an early hour to find myself in the arms of an elemental – it was of the blue light and how it struggled on my waking to find it. It was male in appearance, and almost seemed quite Greek or Roman, but it was not warrior-like at all, in fact quite passive. It became a tiger cub and then it turned aggressive, snapping at me. Also on waking I had a distinct feeling I was being watched.
Wednesday 2nd November. LBR. 02.05 a.m. In my astral form – duality! Mantra: A.M.P.H. Robed and earthy. Dharana on the Lamen. The form was transparent with bare feet.
Thursday 3rd November. LBR. I entered the Temple. Asana: Legs crossed, hands on Solar Plexus. 02.30 a.m. After performing the Star Ruby Ritual. Stomach empty. I rose in the astral body. Mantra: A.M.P.H. also used the ‘Barbarous Names of Invocation’. My arms and lower parts of my body seemed to appear in the distance, on entering Kether [Kether of Malkuth]. End at 03.50 a.m. Duration of asana= 1 hour, 20 minutes.

08.30 a.m.:
Triangle (point upwards) = Heru-Ra-Ha [R.H.K. and H.P.K.]
I= Summit – Mount Abiegnus.

Pranayama: 10/10/10/10/ 09.00-09.05 a.m. Difficult to do so I changed it to: Puraka= 10, Kumbhaka= 10, Rechaka= 10 (09.05-09.20 a.m.)
09.50 a.m. Eucharistos.
Friday 4th November. LBR. The date of the Equinox of the Gods physically makes itself present in numerous ways, almost daily.

The Eye in the Void – the Eye in the Pyramid – the Eye on the Summit
Saturday 5th – Wednesday 9th November 1994.

[in reverse: I.A.O.= O the Void. A the Pyramid. I the Summit].

The brain distracted by sleepless sight,
And the body beaten day and night;
Blown about like seeds in flight:
Damn the darkness, pray for light!
Tear down the temple and torch the tomb -
Eyes that spy within the gloom...
O Saint, O Saviour, this storm of love,
Aches with pain - I follow Thee!

Master, whether Thou knewest me,
My life, my love, is one long spree,
To taste, and touch, and follow Thee
Through barren desert and holy sea!
Upon my boat, a prayer, a word
Lingers dull in strength, though heard,
And demon pangs upon my helm:
Accursed, I follow Thee!

In the battle of the blackest will
Are endless dark gods of infernal
Incantations - the Mage is still,
Ravished by the midnight madrigal.
And in the words, the heart resounds
To damnation's desire, it pounds -
Destroy false gods and ceaseless, hunt
To an end - I follow Thee!

Fill the heart of the savage, pray,
Prostrate thyself let no-self stay,
And at the dread hour, turn away -
Strike hard at midnight, force and slay
The earth-born, and destroy the soul,
And from the void, depart, no whole;
Form an image in thy mind,
And in that image - follow Me!

Spectral lights about me, glow,
As if to point which way to go;
And starlight's uninterrupted flow
Lies like white flowers in the snow!
Lift thy gaze and kiss my lips,
Where the blood of the Saviour drips -
My Master, cloaked in mystery -
Dark this love! - I follow Thee!

Stop a while and stay with me;
Forget all thoughts of the soul's journey,
Look to yourself - from thine infancy,
The Light has long been there with thee!
Higher, towards that golden veil,
With steadfast steps upon the trail,
And see the wise man and the fool
As guardians of eternity!

Duty, for duty's sake - error of way:
Count my tongue and the words I will not say!
With the heart and head eclipsed, time now to pray
And blessings be poured forth on thee this day!
And as known, thy mortal self has died,
Forever now a part of the eye within the void!
Divine, eternal, a star cast in the night;
A flame within the chamber of the heart that's burning bright!

Yet, beyond this, yea, still lies your goal:
Sink into black thought, let consciousness roll
Over the embers of your uplifted soul,
Like a sea of 'no space' on the shore of 'no whole'!
And in this, doubt is conquered and rid
To that vast self, the eye in the pyramid -
Naked, you stand, the battle's near won -
Your sweet soul swiftly to Babalon!

Poor Pharaoh, blinded, his sight hath fled
And the Rose dripped blood on reaching God-head;
Even the Chiefs and the Saints have bled,
Staining the Cup, deep ruby-red!
No-self and not-being, gave all to become it -
O wonder of wonders - the eye on the summit!
Nothingness governed by nothingness - see,
There is no Law but Love, within me!

[Eye in the Void, i.e. ‘I’ in the word ‘Vo(i)d’.
Eye in the Pyramid, i.e. ‘I’ in the word ‘Pyram(i)d’. (Obviously Horus).
Eye on the Summit, i.e. ‘I’ in the word ‘Summ(i)t’].
Notice: A(i)n, Had(i)t, Nu(i)t, Ra-Hoor-Khu(i)t, etc.

Is(i)s           Apoph(i)s        Osir(i)s          I=Yod=10 (1+0) Sephiroth.
Birth            Death          Resurrection
The Brute    the Light     Initiated Man
L                     V                   X

Sunday 6th November. LBR. 02.25 a.m. Entered the Temple – mountain peaks encrusted with snow! A golden sky! [Hands on Solar Plexus] asana: Legs crossed but somehow became un-crossed without my being aware of it. End at 03.00 a.m.
Monday 7th November. LBR. I am tempted to do an evocation from the Goetia just to make things interesting!
Tuesday 8th November. LBR. 02.20 a.m. I entered the Temple after performing the Star Ruby Ritual. I formulated the astral, but could not get the damn ‘rising on the planes’ right. Chakras were good. Mantra: A.M.P.H. Symbol of Air and the God-form Shu (I used the Tatwa of Air). Ended at 02.55 a.m.
Wednesday 9th November. LBR. 09.10 a.m. I entered the Pentagram of Earth in the body of light, after invoking (vibrating) the names etc. I came upon a landscape where the grass was golden and there were hills and mounds and trees. I saw a gnomic figure that came towards me. I tested him with the Earth Pentagram and the vibration of the names – at this he grew in size. I did the H.P.K. and he shrivelled and vanished. A female beckoned to me from her mound. She had a white face with large almond shaped eyes which were half the size of her whole face. She resisted from telling me her name and we sat in her ‘hovel’ staring at each other. She was sat at a table and she said: ‘you wish to make union?’ I resisted the voluptuous creature but she got the better of me and she wrinkled into an old hag: I banished her and she shrivelled. I left her hovel and saw a male figure. I made the sign of H.P.K. to him. He did it back to me and walked away laughing to himself. Then I met a young boy, I did the sign of the Earth Pentagram and vibrated the correct names etc, followed by the sign of H.P.K. I asked him who he is and where he is from. He replied ‘my name is Aragon and I am of the earth’. He asked me what I desired to know and I said ‘all there is of this world!’ He said ‘that cannot be done!’ but he said he would show me something. He then showed me a black box (but would not say what it was or what it was used for). He said ‘there is a greater mystery to learn first and the two will show you how!’ The box: my astral hand went straight through it and I could not touch it. He held it and said ‘you are unable to hold it because your form is not sufficiently developed’. I tested this by touching the boy’s shoulders – he was solid to my touch. I then thanked him for he had no more to show me and I returned to the Pentagram. I entered the physical and performed the banishing rituals. On rising from this I felt as if someone was trying to tell me something, I also heard a voice say: ‘houses, bricks, they are nearly for ever – at least one’s lifetime! And then the grave is forever – at least one’s death-time!’ [I did not like this phrase ‘death-time’].

12.55 p.m. I checked the numerations of ‘Aragon’:
O=6 (or 70)
N=50 (or 700)

1+200+1+3+6+50=261=Obligation, Abomination [2+6+1=9].
1+200+1+3+70+50=325=Mars spirit Bartzabal and Graphial; Intelligence of Mars [3+2+5=10].
1+200+1+3+6+700=911=hell of Tiphereth; Beginning. [9+1+1=11] seems more correct.

Other possibilities: ARAGONH=266; ARAGN=255; ARAGNH=260, ARGN=275 or 904; ARGNH=279.

Friday 11th November. LBR. XIth second, XIth minute, XIth hour, XIth day, XIth month.
Tuesday 15th November. LBR. 02.10 a.m. Formulate the astral body. Mantra: A.M.P.H. I received a sound in my ears, internal but it sounded external. I entered a deep state of consciousness, which happens when I receive such sounds.
Wednesday 16th November. LBR. ‘Fabric’ vision. It was unsought and difficult to control, though I was fully aware of my position etc. I saw an image of myself – vile, vulgar and degenerate. There was a deep sense of shock and then I saw a vision of the ‘Nostoc’: Two adepts were emitting jets (plumes) of gold – seen within a circle, as if skrying in a pool of ink. [Note, the Solar Current has been in my possession for xiii days].
Thursday 17th November. LBR. Dharana on naval. Contraction= duality and with the duality the astral body appears before me, like a reflection. Expansion, returns to normality. No breaks: 02.05-02.13 a.m. Reading Crowley’s ‘Moonchild’.
Friday 18th November. LBR. Solar Current xv days.
Saturday 19th November. LBR. Tired, but I continue work with astral form and Dharana on naval.
Tuesday 22nd November. LBR. Chakras – luminous ‘fireballs’ – kundalini.
Friday 25th November. LBR. I made an oath to make experiments concerning ‘breaks’ with the morning asana study. Solar Current xxii days.
Saturday 26th November. LBR. 02.40-03.00 a.m. Asana: My position [Pan]. Mantra: A.M.P.H. [Active (aloud) = 10 minutes, passive (silent) = 10 minutes]. There was a change in my consciousness, an electrical ‘buzzing’. If only I had gone further with the A.M.P.H. I feel I would have achieved my aim. ‘Breaks’ began on this day and will be shown in a table in due course.
Sunday 27th November. LBR. 02.18 a.m. Dharana on tip of tongue – duality. Mantra: A.M.P.H. (which I had to use to control the mind), end 02.38 a.m. Solar Current xxiv days.
Tuesday 29th November. LBR. 02.18 a.m. Chakras – third, face to face (not lusting after results). Mantra: A.M.P.H. near unbroken through sleep.
Wednesday 30th November. LBR. 02.10 a.m. Mantra: A.M.P.H. (uneven), I tried to keep it flowing through sleep but too active and I can’t pin it down!
Thursday 1st December. LBR. The Hexagram, rising and falling through the Chakras, I fixed it in the Ajna – white state – whooshing like a foaming waterfall. Mantra: A.M.P.H. 02.05-02.25 a.m. Crowley’s Greater Feast and the end of the Solar Current on the xxviii day.
10.12. a.m. Eucharistos.
Friday 2nd December. LBR. 01.47 a.m. Mantra: A.M.P.H. into sleep.
Saturday 3rd December. LBR. 02.44 a.m. Mantra: A.M.P.H. [I woke early and quickly got into it!]. In the process of establishing another Solar Current. Reading Liber Jugorum (13) from ‘Magick’ and ‘Master of the Temple’ from Equinox vol I. Number iii. I began to consider an oath concerning Liber Jugorum. It will be a three week G M. R. [Greater Magical Retirement], the first week I shall refrain from using the word ‘and’ in speech. Punishment shall be that prescribed in Liber Jugorum. Week two will concern a specific ‘thought’ and week three will concern a specific ‘action’. Work is to commence from midnight this night. I made the appropriate confessions, oaths etc and asked that Adonai should watch over me.
1. Because of this judgement period, which I had not expected to take the form it did, I was unable to do the simplest things, in fact, I was barred from almost all magical activity by ‘outside forces’.
2. ‘Examine from within and without!’ This phrase stresses the importance of the adept’s continual self awareness, both internal (thought) and external (action). ‘Also present for the judgement, disappearing after the Oath, are the Invisible Stations of the 42 Assessors. These god-forms are more like accusers than assessors, as the deceased in the Book of the Dead is required to deny to each one of them a particular crime or fault in the “Negative Confession”. In the O=O temple these gods are represented through visualisation by the officers, reinforced by other members present. Contemplation of these and the other god-forms and stations will enhance experience of the ceremony and facilitate the establishing of the Neophyte energies in all participants’. [The Golden Dawn: Volume II Book Two. Israel Regardie. Sixth Edition. 1989. – Introduction to the Neophyte Ceremony. p. 115]
3. During the judgement there was a definite ‘self disgust’ for the work which I can only relate as the ‘Apophis’ stage of I.A.O.
4. Neophyte Grade – Dark night of the soul and the Last day of Judgement. This was an unavoidable event; the darkness before illumination; an intense night of introspection yet I was shown my own weaknesses by an exterior power, as indeed did the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Christmas’s yet to come show Scrooge the error of his ways! It is an inevitable obstacle of initiation and peculiar to each individual.
5. Birmingham, England, United Kingdom.
6. E.V. [era vulgar] in the common year, i.e. the Christian era.
7. An XC – the 90th Year in the Aeon of Horus, beginning 1904.
8. Nostoc or ‘witches butter’. ‘Star jelly’: The nostoc (a product of the moon) is more like semen than dew and comes from the Greek nox: night (darkness). This nostoc comes to earth during the night and stays only for a short period until the sun removes it: Nostos: Greek for ‘return’. In the Greek myths the return home was known as the ‘nostoi’. ‘Nos’= the imagination and ‘Stoch’ is to aim. The ejaculation of semen [Nostoc] is not used in the making of a child, but at the drawing into one’s sphere a higher energy – the Quintessence, which is a solar energy.
The Three Principles: Salt – understanding (the moon and the sun), its symbol is the circle with a horizontal line through the middle. Mercury – emotional sphere (the sun and the moon), its symbol is the horned circle with a cross at the base. Sulphur – will (only one, it is neither sun nor moon), its symbol is the upward pointing triangle with a cross at the base.
Magnesia: belongs to the high etheric realm, (Virgin’s Milk/Mother’s Milk) the Lac Virginis to the Alchemists. It is a pure white water which becomes the Virgin’s heart’s blood – asexual and watery by nature; transparent like quick-silver, it is not animal, vegetable nor mineral. It is said that it does not wet the human hand and comes from the fountain of ‘Holmat’ [‘Le Mystere des Cathedrales’ – Fulcanelli]. It is the liquid that pours forth from the side of the crucified Christ! True initiates are said not to have tears as there is no salt for they understand [Binah] everything!
The Celestial Dew of the Alchemists are the emissions of the Phallus (Capricorn) and the Kteis (Cancer) [Pe = 100. Kaph = 20 – (Pisces, Qoph). Kaph Pe – KPh = Kteis Phallos]. Qoph – the number of illusion; Sud – the secret eye which sees beyond illusion.
9. I found this works better for Dharana.
10. L.... B.... I shall refrain from identifying this person.
11. A premonition concerning E. V. K – the’ Queen of the East!’ (see also 16).
12. For an account of Crowley’s ‘Star Sponge’ vision see the Confessions, Chapter 82, p. 810-811.
13. Liber Jugorum – the Book of the Yoke, written in 1910. See ‘Magick’.


A Witches’ Bible: the complete witches’ handbook - by Janet and Stewart Farrar.

This intriguing collection incorporates two books in one volume: ‘Eight Sabbats for Witches’ and ‘The Witches’ Way’. Included within this comprehensive book are the principles and techniques for celebrating the Sabbats; casting and banishing the magic circle; performing the Great Rite, consecrations, spells and descriptions of the various tools of the craft. There is also a fascinating chapter on ‘witchcraft and sex’ which examines the distinction between the male and female polarities; an essay by Doreen Valiente called ‘The Search for Old Dorothy’ (Dorothy Clutterbuck, a New Forest witch who initiated Gerald Gardner in 1939, and in turn, Gardner initiated Valiente in 1953). The authors, Janet and Stewart Farrar, who were initiated by Alex and Maxine Sanders, are well known in witch-circles and present us with a work on traditional British witchcraft; Wiccan practices with special emphasis on the Gardnerian and Alexandrian forms, which are truly appealing and draw upon the magical writings of Aleister Crowley. The book also contains elements of Irish Gaelic forms of witchcraft which feels natural within the context of this beautifully researched and written book – Janet and Stewart re-located to Ireland in 1976. With lots of interesting photographs, The Witches’ Bible makes essential reading for anyone who is curious about what witches actually do and those considering the craft as a way of life! Excellent!

Don Juan, Mescalito and Modern Magic: The Mythology of Inner Space - by Nevill Drury.

This unassuming little book by Nevill Drury presents a comparison between the magical world of Don Juan and the modern Western magical systems, such as the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. Some of the phenomena Drury pokes his nose into are discussed in part one: ‘The Inner Mythology’ where we meet the drug-induced visionary universe of the shaman and the ins and outs of astral projection. In part two: ‘The Qabalah Revisited’ and perhaps the most interesting section, we learn about the fundamental variations between Christianity, magic and science and discover the ceremonial rituals of the Golden Dawn; of course, no mention of the Golden Dawn would be worth its salt without summoning forth the Prophet of the Aeon of Horus: Aleister Crowley! In part three we are treated to the ‘Book of Visions’ which actually is quite an interesting examination on the visionary aspects of the Tarot. With extensive notes, all in all this little book stands up quite well against some of the nonsense published on such subjects, but I fear I am being rather kind and what the book attempts to achieve it simply lacks the passion to do so!

The Book of Spells: A Magical Enquiry into the Rituals of Sorcery and Witchcraft - by A. E. Waite.

First published as ‘The Book of Ceremonial Magic’ in 1911, this volume can be considered a classic in the world of occult literature. Waite explains the techniques and ideas behind the various rites connected with ‘infernal necromancy’. The book is written in two parts and the first ‘The Literature of Ceremonial Magic’ is a critical and analytical account which explores the rituals of transcendental magic and of black magic in particular. The second part of the book ‘The Complete Grimoire’ looks at the initial rites and ceremonies; the hierarchy of the infernal spirits and Goetic Theurgy (the Lesser Key of Solomon the King); evocations and the making of demonic pacts together with various experiments in divination and the art of invisibility etc. This is indeed a fascinating work but perhaps Waite, who was prone to use obscure and difficult to understand words, makes it a little laborious to read and somewhat archaic and so one must evoke all the servitors of Hell to endure the book to the end! It still remains a major work but if you are looking for a cosy book on witchcraft, look elsewhere!

Teaching Yourself White Magic and how to try it out –by John Heriot.

This little book (122 pages) by John Heriot, a ‘magician’, is a good, basic ‘simplified’ guide to developing one’s magical faculties. The book looks at such things as the art of creating talismans, to ‘stronger magic’ such as invocations, pacts and rituals. The author also looks at ‘psychic powers’ – meditation, hypnosis, telepathy and clairvoyance etc. In the fourth and final chapter ‘Magic and Spiritual Development’, we investigate the astral body and self-defence on all levels. With lots of line-drawings to illustrate the subjects, and overlooking the ‘dated’ appearance, all in all, this is not a bad little book.

Konx Om Pax: Essays in Light – by Aleister Crowley.

This collection of essays concerning ethical and philosophical problems within humanity are written in a delightfully curious and sublime manner, sprinkled with satirical and esoteric wisdom. Here you will find in this tremendously lucid little book: ‘The Wake World’, ‘Ali Sloper, or the Forty Liars’ (a drama); ‘Thien Tao, or the Synagogue of Satan’ ( a political essay) and ‘The Stone of the Philosophers which is hidden in Abiegnus the Rosicrucian Mountain of Initiation’. These eloquent and remarkable ‘essays in light’ are an attempt to provide solutions for society and methods for the emancipation from personal obsessions and restrictions, written in Crowley’s humorous and inimitable style. Consider them absurd or consider them astounding, the erudition and perception of the author is unmistakable!


As Pegamina walked beside the winding river in the twilight, she thought about what the toad had said about the miller’s boy and his poor grandfather, the time keeper. Suddenly the air seemed to grow cold and it began to rain as she quickly crossed the bridge that was almost hidden by willow trees. In the distance, she could see the top of the clock tower rising above a small clump of trees which lay in a hollow, not far away, and as she began to run towards it, the rain ran down her face. A blustering wind seemed to appear from nowhere, and all along the dark lane she imagined that she could see things moving in the hedgerows. Faster and faster she ran until she came to the old time mill with its clock tower which seemed even more desolate in the darkness. And at each side of her the trees seemed to whisper: ‘go back!’ but Pegamina was tired and wet and wanted to rest and sleep until morning and forget the darkness that was all around her.
She found herself standing in the entrance to the mill, looking about her, at the shadows in the trees and at the black clouds descending over the ghastly garden that had been forgotten and run to weeds. As she stood for quite a while listening to the rain and the wind howling, she thought: ‘surely no ghost could be more frightening?’
The door was unlocked and she pushed it open, as its creak echoed down the dim, uneven passageway which lay like an open grave before her. Finding courage, she went inside and opened the door to the first room she came to. It was an old and elegant room, smelling of the past, and through its windows she could see the shapes of huddled trees that seemed to claw against the glass. Even in the darkness she some of its fine furniture and dusty heirlooms; there was a large bookcase full of rotten books; a cabinet containing a small collection of unusual objects. And a few upholstered armchairs, very worn and very tattered, lying like a herd of some long extinct species of animal around a table on which stood a carved wooden bust of a woman’s head, and more books, balancing precariously here and toppled into a heap upon the floor there. To her surprise there was a small fire lit in the fireplace and so she stood before it, drying her wet hair and giving no thought as to why the fire was alight. When she was dry she sat down upon the armchair, near to the fire and fell fast asleep to the sound of the rain on the window panes.
During the night, she found herself in that curious and helpless state between sleeping and waking, where nothing is as it seems and she could not remember where she was or how she got there. She looked at the faint glow of the fire and all around the room until it all came slowly back to her. The rain had stopped and in its place she thought she could hear the sound of someone singing. As she listened, it seemed to grow louder until she could make out the words of the song. It was a very sad melody sung by a very tearful voice:
‘Spider, spider, spinning tight
Threads of fury through the night!
In its black and gathered eye:
The destruction of the fly!
A silken web that shows to me
The spider’s fearful symmetry,
That fills my heart with so much dread
To see eight legs and a head
Spin so much and hear it spin
Strange and weird cathedrals in
The darkness where it’s fancy wills
Great monuments of archway frills!
Spider, spider, spinning tight
Threads of fury through the night!’

Pegamina was afraid, but not so afraid that she wanted to scream, just hide herself away in the darkness and not be seen. But there was something about the voice that seemed to say ‘don’t be afraid, I will not harm you!’ And Pegamina sat still in the armchair, expecting the door to fling open and reveal some headless monstrosity or a woman in white, wailing into the cheerless room. But nothing did appear and the voice had faded away. Peg curled herself up into the armchair once more and very soon she was asleep again.
She dreamt that she was walking through vast woodland. It was dark except for a bright light that she was following and seemed to be leading her somewhere. Suddenly, the fiery orb halted in front of a great stone temple and its bright light lit up the temple’s entrance, where, above its huge door she could see strange words cut into the stone, which read as follows:

tu stesso, ti fai grosso
col falso immaginar, sic he non vedi
cio che vedresti, se l’avessi scosso *

Pegamina did not know what it meant, or even how it was meant to be pronounced, but she thought it must be very important for it to be carved into stone. Then, all of a sudden, it went very dark, darker than she had ever known before; the light had left and she had to find her own way out of the woods. She was terribly afraid and she could feel all the hanging branches brushing against her face. Then, she awoke, suddenly with a start, and she could feel her heart pounding, for there, standing before her, drawing its hand from her face, was a small boy. Pegamina knew she was not dreaming, for she could see him, although his image was a little unclear. She opened her mouth as if to scream but nothing would come out.
‘Don’t be alarmed, I didn’t wish to wake you’ whispered the ghostly boy in a gentle voice, stepping away from her.
‘Who are you?’ Pegamina managed to utter after recovering her speech.
‘You know who I am! I’ve been expecting you!’ the boy answered with a smile.
‘You’re the time-keeper’s boy aren’t you?’
‘I was!’
‘But you’re...’
‘Dead?’ said the boy, finishing Peg’s sentence for her.
‘I am dead!’
‘Then you’re a ghost?’
‘It appears so’.
‘But you touched my face; everyone knows that ghosts can’t touch’.
‘Of course ghosts can touch, but ghosts can’t feel things’. And they both looked at each other in silence for a short time until Pegamina said:
‘Why were you watching me?’
‘Forgive me! I was watching you because I had forgotten what it is like to sleep’. And the boy moved towards the fireplace where he sat upon a small stool that had been occupied by Peg’s shoes, which he carefully placed upon the shelf beside the fire.
Pegamina could see that the boy was about her own age and seemed awfully sad. And when he looked at her, she turned her face away, not through fear, but because he was so terribly handsome, she thought, even for a ghost! And she did not wish him to see her blushing! As they sat there, each glancing at the other, Peg asked the ghostly boy if it was him she had heard singing that sorrowful song about the spider.
‘That was me! You have no idea what a wretched place this is; to be here forever with its constant scratching behind walls. This house haunts me more than I haunt this house! With its infernal loneliness and the sunlight that pours through the windows!
‘Don’t you like the sun?’ asked Peg.
‘I hate the sun! It always finds you out; nothing can hide when it shines!’
‘But the sun is warm and it makes things grow!’
‘It makes only loneliness grow!’ said the little ghost. And after a brief pause Pegamina said:
‘I don’t like the darkness!’
‘But the darkness is beautiful; things remain unseen in the dark’ the ghost said, his bright eyes staring deeply into Pegamina’s.
‘If things want to remain unseen’ said Peg ‘then they can’t be very nice things!’
‘Then am I not very nice?’ asked the ghost in a gentle voice. Peg turned her eyes from him and did not answer, and there was another silence which was soon broken by the ghost wanting to know her name.
‘Don’t you know?’ Pegamina said shyly, looking into his eyes and then turning away.
‘Ghosts don’t know everything!’
‘My name is Pegamina!’ she uttered softly.
‘What a beautiful name. What does it mean?’
‘I don’t know that it means anything’. Just then, Peg’s eyes were drawn to a small wooden box upon the bookshelf.
‘It’s very pretty’ she said, lifting its lid. And the room seemed to come alive to the sound of a melancholy waltz tune.
‘Do you know what you hold in your hands?’ said the sad ghost. But there was no answer from Pegamina, for the music seemed to hold her in its spell.
‘My heart... my heart...’ sighed the ghost.
Pegamina still could not bring herself to look at him, although she desperately wanted to. Then, as the waltz tune ran down and the fire crackled, Peg felt as if a curious mist were enveloping the room, as if a thick fog had suddenly drifted in. She fell back into the armchair and found the urge to close her eyes so overpowering that she had to close them; she fell into a deep sleep with the words ‘you will remember me...’ turning in her mind and everything was darkness, utter darkness.

*Thou thyself makest thyself dense with false imagining, and so thou seest not what thou wouldst see if thou hadst cast it off. [Dante]

The old Time Mill